Cy 


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University  of  California  •  Berkeley 


Gift  of 

Mark  Neuman 
MA  i960  •  PhD  1967 


THE  LIFE 


OP 


MANSIE  WAUCH 


PABT   OF   THIS   AUTOBIOGRAPHY   ORIGINALLY   APPEARED  IX 

blackwood's  magazine. 


THE    LIFE 


OF 


MAN8IE    WAUCH. 


TAILOR  IN  DALKEITH. 


WRITTEN  BY  HIMSELF. 


PRINTED  BY  J.  &  J.  HARPER. 
SOLD   BY    COLLINS    AND    HANNAY,    COLLINS    AND    CO.,    G.  AND  C. 
CARVILL,   O.  A.  ROORBACH,   W.  B.  GILLEY,   A.  T.  GOODRICH,  E. 
BLISS,  C.  S.  FRANCIS,  AND  W.  BURGESS,  j'R. — PHILADELPHIA: 
CAREY,  LEA,  AND  CAREY,   AND    JOHN  GRIGG. 

1828. 


JOHN    GALT,   Esq. 

OF    GUELPH,    UPPER    CANADA, 

AUTHOR    OF    UTHE    ANNALS    OF    THE    PARISH,' 
&C.  &C.   &C. 

THE   FOLLOWING   SKETCHES 

PRINCIPALLY    OF   HUMBLE   SCOTTISH   CHARACTER. 

ARE     DEDICATED, 

iiV    HIS   SINCERE   FRIEND   AND   ADMIREK. 

THE    EDITOR. 


PRELIMINARIES, 


Having,  within  myself,  made  observation  of  late- 
years,  that  all  notable  characters,  whatsoever  line  of 
life  they  may  have  pursued,  and  to  whatever  business 
they  might  belong,  have  made  a  trade  of  committing 
to  paper  all  the  surprising  occurrences  and  remarkable 
events  that  chanced  to  happen  to  them  in  the  course 
of  providence,  during  their  journey  through  life — that 
such  as  come  after  them  might  take  warning  and  be 
benefitted, — I  have  found  it  incumbent  on  me,  follow- 
ing a  right  example,  to  do  the  same  thing ;  and  have 
set  down,  in  black  and  white,  a  good  few  uncos,  that 
1  should  reckon  will  not  soon  be  forgotten,  provided 
they  make  as  deep  an  impression  on  the  world  as  they 
have  done  on  me.  To  this  decision  I  have  been  urged 
by  the  elbowing  on  of  not  a  few  judicious  friends ; 
among  whom  I  would  particularly  remark  James  Bat- 
ter, who  has  been  most  earnest  in  his  requeesht,  and 
than  whom  a  truer  judge  on  any  thing  connected  with 
book-lear,  or  a  better  neibour,  does  not  breathe  the 
breath  of  life  :  both  of  which  positions  will,  I  doubt 
not,  appear  as  clear  as  daylight  to  the  reader,  in  the 
course  of  the  work  :  to  say  nothing  of  the  approval  the 
scheme  met  with  from  the  pious  Maister  Wiggie,  who 
has  now  gone  to  his  account,  and  divers  other  advisers, 


Vlii  PRELIMINARIES. 

that  wished  either  the  general  good  of  the  world,  or 
studied  their  own  particular  profit. 

Had  the  course  of  my  pilgrimage  lain  just  on  the 
beaten  track,  I  would  not — at  least  I  think  so — have 
been  o'ercome  by  ony  perswasions  to  do  what  I  have 
done  ;  but,  as  will  be  seen,  in  the  twinkling  of  hall 
an  ee,  by  the  judicious  reader,  1  am  a  man  that  has 
witnessed  much,  and  come  through  a  great  deal,  both 
in  regard  to  the  times  wherein  I  have  lived,  and  thf 
out-o-the-way  adventures  in  which  it  has  been  my  for- 
tune to  be  engaged.  Indeed,  though  I  say  it  myself, 
who  might  as  well  be  silent,  I  that  have  never  stirred, 
in  a  manner  so  to  speak,  from  home,  have  witnessed 
mair  of  the  world  we  live  in,  and  the  doings  of  men, 
than  many  who  have  sailed  the  salt  seas  from  the  East 
Indies  to  the  West ;  or,  in  the  course  of  nature,  visit- 
ed Greenland,  Botany  Bay,  or  Van  Dieman's  Land. 
The  cream  of  the  matter,  and  to  which  we  would  so- 
licit the  attention  of  auld  and  young,  rich  and  poor,  is 
just  this,  that,  unless  unco  doure  indeed  to  learn,  the 
inexperienced  may  glean  from  my  pages  sundry  grand 
lessons,  concerning  what  they  have  a  chance  to  expect 
in  the  course  of  an  active  life  ;  and  the  unsteady  may 
take  a  hint  concerning  what  it  is  possible  for  one  of  a 
clear  head  and  a  stout  heart  to  go  through  with. 

Notwithstanding,  however,  these  plain  and  evident 
conclusions,  even  after  writing  the  v/hole  out,  I  thocht 
I  felt  a  kind  of  qualm  of  conscience  about  submitting: 
an  account  of  my  actions  and  transactions  to  the  world 
during  my  lifetime  ;  and  I  had  almost  determined,  for 
decency's  sake,  not  to  let  the  papers  be  printed  till 
after  I  had  been  gathered  to  my  fathers ;  but  I  took 
into  consideration  the  duty  that  one  man  owes  to  ano 


PRELIMINARIES.  IX 

ther :  and  that  my  keeping  back,  and  withholding  these 
curious  documents,  would  be  in  a  great  measure  hin- 
dering the  improvement  of  society,  so  far  as  I  was 
myself  personally  concerned.  Now  this  is  a  business, 
which  James  Batter  agrees  with  me  in  thinking  is  car- 
ried on,  furthered,  and  brought  about,  by  every  one 
furnishing  his  share  of  experience  to  the  general  stock. 
Let-a-be  this  plain  truth,  another  point  of  argument' for 
my  bringing  out  my  bit  book  at  the  present  time,  is, 
that  I  am  here  to  the  fore  bodily,  with  the  use  of  my 
seven  senses,  to  give  day  and  date  to  all  such  as  ven- 
ture to  put  on  the  misbelieving  front  of  Sadducees, 
with  regard  to  any  of  the  accidents,  mischances,  mar- 
vellous escapes,  and  extraordinary  businesses  therein 
related ;  and  to  show  them,  as  plain  as  the  bool  of  a 
pint  stoup,  that  ilka  thing  set  down  by  me  within  its 
boards,  is  just  as  true,  as  that  a  blind  man  needs  not 
spectacles,  or  that  my  name  is  Mansie  Wauch. 

Perhaps,  as  a  person  willing  and  anxious  to  give 
every  man  his  due,  it  is  necessary  for  me  explicitly  to 
mention,  that,  in  the  course  of  this  book,  I  am  indebted 
to  my  friend  James  Batter,  for  his  able  help  in  assist- 
ing me  to  spell  the  kittle  words,  and  in  rummaging 
out  scraps  of  poem-books  for  head-pieces  to  my  dif 
Cerent  chapters. 


CONTENTS. 


Pkeiiminaries,    -         -         -         -         -         -  7 

Chap.  I. — Auld  Granfaither,  -         -         -  -         13 

II.— My  Am  Faither,         -         -         -  -     17 

HI.— Coming  into  the  World,  25 

IV.— Calf-Love,  -     27 

V. — Cursecowl, 30 

VI. — Pushing  my  Fortune,         -  -     32 

VII.— The  Forewarning  -  39 

VIII.— Letting  Lodgings,       -         -         -  -     45 

IX. — Benjie's  Christening,  50 

X. — The  Resurrection  Men,       -         -  -     54 

XL— Taffy  with  the  Pigtail,     -  61 

Song.— Song  of  the  South         -  -     64 

Curate  of  Suverdsio  ;    a  Tale  of  the 

Swedish  Revolution       -         -  -     67 

XII. — Volunteering,          -         -         -  115 

XIII.— The  Chincough  Pilgrimage,          -  -  120 

XIV.— My  Lord's  Races,  -       123 

XV.— The  Return,       -  -  130 

XVI.— The  Bloody  Business,      -  -       138 

XVII —My  First  and  Last  Play,       -         -  -   14G 

XVIIL— The  Barley  Fever— and  Rebuke  -       154 

XIX.— The  Awful  Night,         -         -         -  -  162 

XX. — Adventures  in  the  Sporting  Line,  -       173 


SH  CONTENTS. 


Chap.  XXL— Anent  Mungo  Glen,     -        .        .  iss 

XXII. — A  Philistine  in  the  Coal-Hole,     -       193 

XXIII. — Benjie  on  the  Carpet,     -         -'.;■■-  204 

XXIV. — Serious  Musings,       -         -         -       214 

XXV. — Conclusion,  -        -        -        -219 


LIFE 

OF 

MANSIE    WAUCII. 


CHAPTER  I. 

OUE  AULD  GRANFAITHER, 

The  sun  rises  bright  in  France, 

And  fair  sets  he  ; 
But  he  has  tint  the  blithe  blink  he  had 
In  my  ain  countree. 

Allan  Cunningham. 

Some  of  the  rich  houses  and  great  folk  pretend  to  have 
histories  of  the  auncientness  of  their  families,  which  they  can 
count  back  on  their  fingers  amaist  to  the  days  of  Noah's  ark, 
and  King  Fergus  the  First;  but,  whatever  may  spunk  out  after, 
on  this  point,  I  am  free  to  confess,  with  a  safe  conscience, 
that  it  is  not  in  my  power  to  come  up  within  sight  of  them  ; 
having  never  seen  or  heard  tell  of  ony  body  in  our  connex- 
ion, farther  back  than  auld  granfaither,  that  I  mind  of  when 
a  laddie  ;  and  who  it  behooves  to  have  belonged  by  birthright 
to  some  parish  or  other  ;  but  where-away,  gude  kens.  James 
Batter  mostly  blinded  both  his  een,  looking  all  last  winter  for 
one  of  our  name  in  the  book  of  Martyrs,  to  make  us  proud 
of;  but  his  search,  I  am  free  to  confess,  waur  than  failed — 
as  the  only  man  of  the  name  he  could  find  out,  was  a  Ser- 
geant Jacob  Waugh,  that  lost  his  lug  and  his  left  arm,  fighting 
like  a  Russian  Turk  against  the  godly,  at  the  bluidy  battle  of 
the  Pentland  Hills. 

Auld  granfaither  died    when  I  was    a  growing  callant, 
some  seven  or  eight  year  auld :  yet  I  mind  him  full  well ;  it 


14  LIFE  OP  MANSIE  WAUCH. 

being  a  curious  thing  how  early  matters  take  haud  of  one  s 
memory.  He  was  a  straught,  tall,  auld  man,  with  a  shining 
bell-pow,  and  reverend  white  locks  hinging  down  about  his 
haft'ets ;  a  Roman  nose,  and  twa  cheeks  blooming  through 
the  winter  of  his  lang  age  lik-j  roses,  when,  puir  body,  he  was 
sand-blind  with  infirmity.  In  his  latter  days,  he  was  hardly 
able  to  crawl  about  alone  ;  but  used  to  sit  resting  himself  on 
the  truff  seat  before  our  door,  leaning  forit  his  head  on  his 
staff,  and  finding  a  kind  of  pleasure  in  feeling  the  beams 
of  God's  am  sun  beakingon  him..  A  blackbird,  that  he  had 
tamed,  hung  above  his  head  in  a  whand-cage  of  my  faither's 
making  ;  and  he  had  taken  a  pride  in  learning  it  to  whistle 
twa  three  turns  of  his  am  favourite  sang,  "  Oure  the 
water  to  Charlie." 

I  recollect,  as  well  as  yesterday,  that,  on  the  Sundays,  he 
wore  a  braid  bannet  with  a  red  worsted  cherry  on  the  tap  o't ; 
and  had  a  single-breasted  coat,  square  in  the  tails,  of  light 
Gilmerton  blue,  with  plaited  white  buttons,  bigger  than 
crown-pieces.  His  waistcoat  was  low  in  the  neck,  and  had 
flap  pouches,  wherein  he  kept  his  mull  for  rappee,  and  his 
tobacco-box.  To  look  at  him,  wi'  his  rig-and-fur  Shetland 
hoes  pulled  up  oure  his  knees,  and  his  big  glancing  buckles 
in  his  shoon,  sitting  at  our  door  cheek,  clean  and  tidy  as  he 
was  kept,  was  just  as  if  one  of  the  auncient  patriarchs  had 
been  left  on  earth,  to  let  succeeding  surveevors  witness  a  pic- 
ture of  hoary  and  venerable  eld.  Puir  body,  many  a  bit 
Gibraltar-rock  and  gingebread  did  he  give  to  me,  as  he 
would  pat  me  on  the  head,  and  prophesy  I  would  be  a  great 
man  yet ;  and  sing  me  bits  of  auld  sangs  about  the  bloody 
times  of  the  Rebellion,  and  Prince  Charlie.  There  was 
nothing  that  I  liked  so  well  as  to  hear  him  set  a-going  with 
his  auld-warld  stories  and  lilts  ;  though  my  mother  used 
sometimes  to  say,  "  Wheesht,  granfaither,  ye  ken  it's  no  can- 
ny to  let  out  a  word  of  time  things  ;  let  byganes  be  byganes, 
and  forgotten."  He  never  liked  to  gie  trouble,  so  a  rebuke 
of  this  kind  would  put  a  tether  to  his  tongue  for  a  wee  ;  but, 
when  we  were  left  by  ourselves,  1  used  ay  to  egg  him  on  to 
tell  me  what  he  had  come  through  in  his  far-away  travels 
beyond  the  broad  seas  ;  and  of  the  famous  battles  he  had  seen 
and  shed  his  precious  blood  in  ;  for  his  pinkie  was  hacked  oft" 
by  a  dragoon  of  Colonel  Gardener's,  down  by  at  Prestonpans. 
and  he  had  catched  a  bullet  with  his  ankle  over  in  the  north 
at  Culloden.     So  it  was  no  wonder  that  he  liked  to  crack 


OUR  AULD  GRANFAITHER.  1 5 

about  these  times,  though  they  had  brought  him  muckle  and 
no  little  mischief,  having  obliged  him  to  skulk  like  another 
Cam  among  the  Hieland  hills  and  heather,  for  many  a  long 
month  and  day,  homeless  and  hungry.  No  dauring  to  be 
seen  in  his  own  country,  where  his  head  would  have  been 
chacked  off  like  a  sybo,  he  took  leg-bail  in  a  ship,  over  the 
sea,  among  the  Dutch  folk  ;  where  he  followed  out  his  law- 
ful trade  of  a  cooper,  making  girrs  for  the  herring  barrels,  and 
soon  ;  and  sending,  when  he  could  find  time  and  opportu- 
nity, such  savings  from  his  wages  as  he  could  afford,  for  the 
mainteenance  of  his  wife  ami  small  family  of  three  helpless 
weans,  that  he  had  been  obligated  to  leave,  dowie  and  desti- 
tute, at  their  native  home  of  pleasant  Dalkeith. 

At  lang  and  last,  when  the  breeze  had  blown  oure,  and 
the  feverish  pulse  of  the  country  began  to  grow  calm  and 
cool,  auld  granfaither  took  a  longing  to  see  his  native  land  ; 
and,  though  not  free  of  jeopardy  from  king's  cutters  on  the 
sea,  and  from  spies  on  shore,  he  risked  his  neck  over  in  a 
sloop  from  Rotterdam  to  Aberlady,  that  e.ame  across  with  a 
valuable  cargo  of  smuggled  gin.  When  granfaither  had 
been  obliged'  to  take  the  wings  of  flight  for  the  preservation 
of  his  life  and  liberty,  my  faither  was  a  wean  at  grannie's  _ 
breast  :  so,  by  her  fending — for  she  was  a  canny  industrious 
body,  and  kept  a  bit  shop,  in  the  which  she  sold  oatmeal  and 
red  herrings,  needles  and  prins,  potatoes,  and  tape,  and  cab- 
bage, and  what  not — he  had  grown  a  strapping  laddie  of 
eleven  or  twelve,  helping  his  two  sisters,  one  of  whom  perish- 
ed of  the  measles  in  the  dear  year,  to  gang  errands,  chap  sand, 
carry  water,  and  keep  the  housie  clean.  1  have  heard  him 
say,  when  auld  granfaither  came  to  their  door  at  the  dead  of 
night,  tirling,  like  a  thief  o'  darkness,  at  the  window-brod  to 
get  in,  that  he  was  so  altered  in  his  voice  and  lingo,  that  no 
living  soul  kenned  him,  not  even  the  wife  of  his  bosom  ;  so  he 
had  to  put  grannie  in  mind  of  things  that  had  happened  be- 
tween them,  before  she  would  allow  my  faither  to  hit  the 
sneck,  or  draw  the  bar.  Many  and  many  a  year,  for  gude 
kens  how  long  after,  I've  heard  tell,  that  his  speech  was  so 
Dutchified  as  to  be  scarcely  kenspeckle  to  a  Scotch  Euro- 
pean ;  but  Nature  is  powerful,  and,  in  the  course  of  time,  he 
came  in  the  upshot  to  gather  his  words  together  like  a 
Christian. 
Of  my  auntie  Bell,  that,  as  I  have  just  said,  died  of  the 


1 U  LIFE  OP  MANSIE  WAUCH. 

measles  in  the  dear  year,  at  the  age  of  fourteen,  I  have  no 
story  to  tell  but  one,  find  that  a  short  ane,  though  not  without 
a  sprinkling  of  interest. 

Among  her  other  ways  of  doing,  grannie  kept  a  cow,  and 
sold  the  milk  round  about  to  the  neibours  in  a  pitcher,  whiles 
carried  by  my  faither,  and  whiles  by  my  aunties,  at  the  ran- 
som of  a  ha'penny  the  mutchkin.  Well,  ye  observe,  that  the 
cow  ran  yeild,  and  it  was  as  plain  as  pease  that  she  was  with 
calf: — Geordie  Drouth,  the  horse-doctor,  could  have  made 
solemn  affidavy  on  that  head.  So  they  waited  on,  and  better 
waited  on  for  the  prowie'scalfing,  keeping  it  upon  draft"  and 
ait-strae  in  the  byre  ;  till  one  morning  every  thing  seemed  in 
a  fair  way,  and  my  auntie  Bell  was  set  out  to  keep  watch 
and  ward. 

Some  of  her  companions,  howsoever,  chancing  to  come 
by,  took  her  out  to  the  back  of  the  house  to  have  a  game  at 
the  pallall  ;  and,  in  the  interim,  Dr.nald  Bogie,  the ! 
tinkler  from  Yetholm,  came  and  left  his  little  jackass  in  the 
byre,  while  he  was  selling  about  his  crockery  of  cups  and 
saucers,  and  brown  plates,  on  the  auld  ane,  thro'  the  town, 
in  two  creels. 

Irj  the  middle  of  auntie  Bell's  game,  she  heard  an  unco 
noise  in  the  byre  :  and  kenning  that  she  had  neglected  her 
charge,  she  ran  round  the  gable,  ard  opened  the  door  in  a 
great  hurry  ;  when,  seeing  the  beastie,  she  pulled  it  to  again, 
and  fleeing,  half  out  of  breath,  into  the  kitchen,  cried — 
M  Come  away,  come  away,  mother,  as  fast  as  ye  can.  Ay, 
lyst,  the  cow's  caufFed, — and  it's  a  cuddie  I" 


MY  AIN  FAITHEK.  I  "J 


CHAPTER   II. 

MY    AIN    FAITHEK. 

The  weaver  he  gied  up  the  stair, 

Dancing  and  singing ; 
A  bunch  6'  bobbins  at  bis  back, 

Rattling  aud  ringing. 

Old  Sons • 

My  own  faither,  that  is  to  say,  auld  Mansie  Wauch,  with 
regard  to  myself,  but  young  Mansie,  with  reference  to  my 
granfaither,  after  having  run  the  errands,  and  done  his  best 
to  grannie  during  his  early  years,  was,  at  the  age  of  thirteen, 
as  1  have  heard  him  tell,  bound  a  prentice  to  the  weaver 
trade,  which,  from  that  day  and  date,  for  better  for  worse,  he 
prosecuted  to  the  hour  of  his  death  : — I  should  rather  have 
said  to  within  a  fortnight  o't,  for  he  lay  for  that  time  in  the 
mortal  fever,  that  cut  through  the  thread  of  his  existence. 
Alas  !  as  Job  says,  "  How  time  flies  like  a  weaver's  shuttle  !" 

He  was  a  tall,  thin,  lowering  man,  biackaviced,  and  some- 
thing in  the  physog  like  myself,  though  scarcely  so  well"- 
faured  ;  with  a  kind  of  blueness  about  his  chin,  as  if  his  beard 
grew  of  that  colour- — which  I  scarcely  think  it  would  do — 
but  might  arise  either  from  the  dust  of  the  blue  cloth,  con- 
stantly flying  about  the  shop,  taking  a  rest  there,  or  from  his 
having  a  custom  of  giving  it  a  rub  now  and  then  with  his 
finger  and  thumb,  both  of  which  were  dyed  of  that  colour,  as 
well  as  his  apron,  from  rubbing  against,  and  handling  the 
webs  of  checkit  claith  in  the  loom. 

Ill  would  it  become  me,  I  trust  a  dutiful  son,  to  say  that 
my  faither  was  any  thing  but  a  decent,  industrious,  hard- 
working man,  doing  every  thing  for  the  good  of  his  family, 
and -winning  the  respect  of  all  that  kenned  the  value  of*  his 
worth.  As  to  his  decency,  few — very  few  indeed — laid  be- 
neath the  mools  of  Dalkeith  kirk-yard,  made  their  beds  there, 
leaving  a  better  name  behind  them  :  and  as  to  industry,  it  is 
but  little  to  say  that  he  toiled  the  very  flesh  off  his  bones, 
caaing  the  shuttle  from  Monday  morning  till  Saturday  night, 

2* 


18  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

from,  the  rising  up  of  the  sun,  even  to  the  going  down  thereof; 
and  whiles,  when  opportunity  led  him,  or  occasion  required, 
digging  and  delving  away  at  the  bit  kail  yard,  till  moon  and 
stars  were  in  the  lift,  and  the  dews  01  heaven  that  fell  on  his 
head,  were  like  the  oil  that  flowed  from  Aaron's  beard,  even 
to  the  skirts  of  his  garment.  But  what  will  ye  say  there? 
Some  are  horn  with  a  silver  spoon  in  their  mouths,  and  others 
with  a  parritch-stick.  Of  the  latter  was  my  faither  ;  for,  with 
all  his  fechting,  he  never  was  able  much  more  than  to  keep 
our  heads  above  the  ocean  of  debt.  Whatever  was  denied 
him,  a  kind  providence,  howsoever,  enabled  him  to  do  that ; 
and  so  he#  departed  this  life  contented,  leaving  to  my  mother 
and  me,  the  two  survivors,  the  pridetul  remembrance  of  being, 
respectively,  she  the  widow,  and  me  the  son  of  an  honest 
man.  Some  left  with  twenty  thousand  cannot  boast  as  much  ; 
30  ilka  ane  has  their  comforts. 

Having  never  entered  much  in  to  public  life,  farther  than 
attending  the  kirk  twice  every  sabbath— and  thrice  when 
there  was  evening  service — the  days  of  my  faither  glided 
over  like  the  waters  of  a  deep  river  that  make  little  noise  in 
their  course  ;  so  1  do  not  know  whether  to  lament  or  to  re- 
joice at  having  almost  nothing  to  record  of  him.  Had 
Buonaparte  as  little  ill  to  account  for,  it  would  be  well  this 
day  for  him  : — but,  losh  me !  1  had  amaist  skipped  over  his 
wTedding. 

In  the  five-and-twentieth  year  of  his  age,  he  had  fallen  in 
love  with  my  mother,  Marion  Laverock,  at  the  Christening 
of  a  neibour's  bairn,  where  they  both  happened  to  forgather, 
little,  I  dare  say,  jealousing,  at  the  time  their  een  first  met, 
that  fate  had  destined  them  for  a  pair,  and  to  be  the  ho- 
noured parents  of  me,  their  only  bairn.  Seeing  my  faither's 
heart  was  catched  as  in  the  net  of  the  fowler,  she  took  every 
lawful  means,  such  as  adding  another  knot  to  her  cocker- 
nony,  putting  up  her  hair  in  screw  curls,  and  so  on,  to  fol- 
low up  her  advantage  ;  the  result  of  which  was,  that,  after 
a  three  months'  courtship,  she  wrote  a  letter  out  to  her 
friends  at  Loanhead,  telling  them  of  what  was  more  than 
likely  to  happen,  and  giving  a  kind  invitation  to  such  of 
them  as  might  think  it  worth  their  whiles,  to  come  in  and 
be  spectators  of  the  ceremony. — And  a  prime  day  I  am  tokl 
they  had  of  it,  having,  by  advice  of  more  than  one,  consented 
to  make  it  a  penny-wedding  ;  and  hiring  Deacon  Laurie'* 
malt-bara  for  five  shillings,  for  the  express  purpose* 


MY   AIN   PAITHEB.  19 

Many  yet  living,  among  whom  are  James  Batter,  who 
was  the  best- man,  and  Duncan  Imrie,  the  heel-cutter  in  the 
Flesh- Market  Close,  are  yet  above  board  to  bear  solemn 
testimony  to  the  grandness  of  the  occasion,  and  the  unac- 
countable numerousness  of  the  company,  with  such  a  display 
of  mutton  broth,  swimming  thick  with  raisins, — and  roasted 
jiggets  of  lamb, — to  say  nothing  of  mashed  turnips  and 
champed  potatoes, — as  had  not  been  seen  in  the  wide  parish 
o'  Dalkeith  in  the  memory  of  man.  It  was  not  only  my 
faither's  bridal-day,  but  it  brought  many  a  lad  and  lass  to- 
gether by  way  of  partners  at  foursome  reels  and  hieland 
jigs,  whose  courtship  did  not  end  in  smoke,  couple  above 
couple  dating  the  day  of  their  happiness  from  that  famous 
forgathering.  There  were  no  less  than  three  fiddlers,  two 
of  them  blind  with  the  sma'-pox,  and  one  naturally,  and  a 
piper,  with  his  drone  and  chanter,  playing  as  many  pibrochs 
as  would  have  deaved  a  mill-happer — all  skirling,  scraping, 
and  bumming  away  throughither,  the  whole  afternoon  and 
night,  and  keeping  half  the  country-side  dancing,  capering, 
and  cutting,  in  strathspey  step  and  quick  time,  as  if  they 
were  without  a  weary,  or  had  not  a  bone  in  their  bodies. — - 
In  the  days  of  darkness,  the  whole  concern  would  have  been 
'  imputed  to  magic  and  glamour  ;  and  douce  folk,  finding 
how  they  were  trangressinir  over  their  usual  bounds,  would 
have  looked  about  them  for  the  wooden  pin  that  auld  Mi- 
chael Scott,  the  warlock,  drave  in  behind  the  door,  leaving 
the  family  to  dance  themselves  to  death  at  their  leisure. 

Had  the  business  ended  in  dancing,  so  far  well,  for  a 
sound  sleep  would  have  brought  a  blithe  wakening,  and  all 
be  tight  and  right  again  ;  but,  alas  and  alackaday,  the  vio- 
lent heat  and  fume  of  foment  they  were  all  thrown  into, 
caused  the  emptying  of  so  many  ale-tankers,  and  the  swal- 
lowing of  so  muckle  toddy,  by  way  of  cooling  and  refresh- 
ing the  company,  that  they  all  got  as  fou  as  tjie  Baltic  ;  and 
many  ploys,  that  shall  be  nameless,  were  the  result  of  a 
sober  ceremony,  whereby  two  douce  and  decent  people, 
Mansie  Wauch,  my  honoured  faither,  and  Marion  Laverock, 
my  respected  mother,  were  linked  thegither,  for  better  for 
worse,  in  the  lawful  bonds  of  honest  wedlock. 

It  seems  as  if  Providence,  reserving  every  thing  famous 
and  remarkable  for  me,  allowed  little  or  nothing  of  conse- 
quence to  happen  to  my  faither,  who  had  few  cruiks  in  his 
lot ;  at  least,  I  never  learned,  either  from  him  or  any  other 


20  MFB   OP  MANSIE   WA17CII. 

body,  of  any  adventures  likely  seriously  to  interest  the  world 
at  large.  T  have  heard  tell,  indeed  that  he  once  got  a  ter- 
rible fright  by  taking  the  bounty,  during  the  American  war. 
from  an  Eirish  corporal,  of  the  nan>*  of  Dochart  O'Flau- 
cherty,  at  Dalkeith  Fair,  when  he  was  at  his  prenticeship  : , 
he,  no  being  accustomed  to  malt-liquor,  having  got  fouish 
and  frisky — which  was  not  his  natural  disposition — over  a 
half  a  bottle  of  porter.  From  this  it  will  easily  be  seen,  in 
the  first  place,  that  it  would  be  with  a  fecht  that  his  master 
would  get  him  off,  by  obieeging  the  corporal  to  take  back 
the  trepan  money;  in  the  second  plan,  how  long  a  date 
back  it  is  since  the  Eirish  began  to  be  the  death  of  us  ;  and, 
in  conclusion,  that  my  honoured  farther  got  such  a  fleg,  as 
to  spain  him  effectually,  for  the  space  of  ten  years,  from 
every  drinkable  stronger  than  goo<J  spring- well  water.  Let 
the  unwary  take  caution  ;  and  may  this  be  a  wholesome 
lesson  to  all  whom  it  may  concern. 

In  this  family  history  it  becomes  me,  as  an  honest  man, 
to  make  passing  mention  of  my  fanner's  sister,  auntie  Mysie, 
that  married  a  carpentei^and  undertaker  in  the  town  of  Jed- 
burgh ;  and  who,  in  the  course  of  nature  and  industry,  came 
to  be  in  a  prosperous  and  thriving  way  ;  indeed,  so  much 
so,  as  to  be  raised  from  the  rank  of  a  private  head  of  a  fa- 
mily, and  at  last  elected,  by  a  majority  of  two  votes,  a  mem- 
ber of  the  town-council  itself. 

There  is  a  good  story,  howsoever,  connected  with  this 
business,  with  which  I  shall  make  myself  free  to  wind  up 
this  somewhat  fusty  and  lushionless  chapter. 

Well,  ye  see,  some  great  lord, — 1  forget  his  name,  but  no 
matter, — that  had  made  a  most  tremendous  sum  of  money, 
either  by  foul  or  fair  means,  among  the  blacks  in  the  East 
Indies,  had  returned,  before  he  died,  to  lay  his  bones  at 
home,  as  yellow  as  a  Limerick  g.'.ve,  and  as  rich  as  Dives 
in  the  New  Testament.  He  kept  flunkies  with  plush  small- 
clothes, and  sky-blue  coats  with  scarlet-velvet  cuffs  and  col- 
lars,— lived  like  a  princie, — and  settled,  as  I  said  before,  in 
the  neighbourhood  of  Jedburgh. 

The  body,  though  as  brown  as  a  toad's  back,  was  as 
prideful  and  full  of  power  as  auld  King  Nebuchadneisher  ; 
and  how  to  exhibit  all  his  purple  and  fine  linen,  he  aye 
thought  and  better  thought,  till  at  last  the  happy  determina- 
tion came  over  his  mind  like  a  flash  of  lightning,  to  invite 
the  bailies,  deacons,  and  town-council,  all  in  a  body,  to 
come  and  dine  with  him. 


MY  A1N   PAITHKR.  21 

Save  us  !  what  a  brushing  of  coats,  such  a  switching  of 
stoury  trowsers,  and  bleaching  of  white  cotton  stockings,  as 
took  place  before  the  catastrophe  of  the  feast,  never  before 
happened  since  Jeddert  was  a  burgh.  Some  of  them  that 
were  forward,  and  geyan  bold  in  the  spirit,  crawed  aloud 
for  joy,  at  being  able  to  boast  that  they  had  received  an  in- 
vitation letter  to  dine  with  a  great  lord  ;  while  others,  as 
proud  as  peacocks  of  the  honour,  yet  not  very  sure  as  to 
their  being  up  to  the  trade  of  behaving  themselves  at  the 
tables  of  the  great,  were  mostly  dung  stupid  with  not  ken- 
ning what  to  think.  A  council  meeting  or  two  took  place 
in  the  gloamings,  to  take  such  a  serious  business  into  con* 
sideration  ;  some  expressing  their  fears  and  inward  doun- 
sinking,  while  others  cheered  them  up  with  a  fillip  of  plea- 
sant consolation.  Scarcely  a  word  of  the  matter  for  which 
they  were  summoned  together  by  the  town  offisher — and 
which  was  about  the  mending  of  the  old  bell-rope — was  dis- 
cussed by  any  of  them,  So  after  a  sowd  of  toddy  was  swal- 
lowed, with  the  hopes  of  making  them  brave  men,  and  good 
soidiers  of  the  magistracy,  they  all  plucked  up  a  proud  spirit, 
and,  do  or  die,  determined  to  march  in  a  body  up  to  the 
gate,  and  forward  to  the  table  of  his  lordship. 

My  uncle,  who  had  been  one  of  the  ringleaders  of  the 
chicken-hearted,  crap  away  up  among  the  rest,  with  his  new 
blue  coat  on,  shining  fresh  from  the  ironing  of  the  goose, 
but  keeping  well  among  the  thick,  to  be  as  lis  tie  kenspecklc 
as  possible ;  for  all  the  folk  of  the  town  were  at  their  doors 
and  windows  to  witness  the  great  occasion  of  the  town- 
council,  going  away  up  like  gentlemen  of  rank  to  take  their 
dinner  with  his  lordship.  That  it  was  a  terrible  trial  to  all 
cannot  be  for  a  moment  denied  ;  yet  some  of  them  behaved 
themselves  decently  ;  and,  if  we  confess  that  others  trembled 
in  the  knees,  as  if  they  were  marching  to  a  field  of  battle,  it 
was  all  in  the  course  of  human  nature. 

Yet  ye  would  wonder  how  they  came  on  by  degrees  ; — 
and,  to  cut  a  long  tale  short,  at  length  found  themselves  in 
a  great  big  room,  like  a  palace  in  a  fairy  tale,  full  of  grand 
pictures  with  gold  frames,  and  looking-glasses  like  the  side 
of  a  house,  where  they  could  see  down  to  their  very  shoes. 
For  a  while,  they  were  like  men  in  a  dream,  perfectly  daz- 
zled and  dumbfonndered  ;  and  it  was  five  minutes  before 
they  could  either  see  a  seat,  or  think  of  sitting  down.  With 
the  reflection  of  the  looking-glasses,  one  of  the  bailies  was 


hZ%  LIFE    OF    MANSIE    WAUCH. 

so  possessed  within  himself,  that  he  iried  to  chair  himself 
where  chair  was  none,  and  landed,  not  very  softly,  on  the 
carpet ;  while  another  of  the  deacons,  a  fat  and  dumpy  man, 
as  he  was  trying"  to  make  a  bow,  and  throw  out  his  leg  be- 
hind him,  stramped  on  a  favourite  Newfoundland  dog's  tail, 
that,  wakening  out  of  his  slumbers  with  a  yell  that  made  the 
roof  ring,  played  drive  against  my  uncle,  who  was  standing 
abaft,  ami  wheeled  him,  like  a  butterflee,  side  foremost, 
against  a  table  with  a  heap  o1  flowers  on  't,  where,  in  try- 
ing to  keep  himself,  he  drove  his  head,  like  a  battering-ram, 
through  a  looking-glass,  and  bleached  back  on  his  hands 
and  feet  on  the  carpet. 

Seeing  what  had  happened,  tiny  were  all  frightened  ; — 
but  his  lordship,  after  laughing  heartily,  was  politer,  and  kent 
better  about  maimers  than  all  that  ;  so,  bidding  the  flunkies 
hurry  away  with  the  fragments  of  the  china  jugs  and  jars, 
they  found  themselves,  sweating  with  terror  and  vexation, 
ranged  along  silk  settees,  cracking  about  the  weather  and 
other  wonderiuls 

Such  a  dinner !  the  fume  of  it  went  round  about  their 
hearts  like  myrrh  and  frat'kin<  ^nse  The  landloid  took  the 
head  of  the  tabie,  the  bailies  the  right  and  left  of  him  :  the 
deacons  and  councillors  were  ranged  along  the  sides,  like 
fdes  of  s^dgers  ;  and  the  chap'ain.  at  the  foot,  said  grace, 
it  is  entirely  out  of  the  power  of  man  to  set  doun  on  paper 
all  they  got  to  eat  and  drink  ;  and  such  was  the  effect  of 
French  cookery,  that  they  did  not  ken  fish  from  flesh. — 
Howsoever,  for  all'  that,  they  laid  their  lugs  in  every  thing 
that  lay  before  them,  and  what  they  could  not  eat  with  forks 
they  supped  with  spoons — so  it  was  ail  to  one  purpose. 

When  the  dishes  were  removing,  each  had  a  large  blue 
glass  bowl  full  of  water,  and  a  clean  calendered  damask 
towel,  put  down  by  a  smart  flunky  before  him  ;  and  many 
of  them  that  had  not  helped  themselves  well  to  the  wine, 
while  they  were  eating  their  steals  and  French  frigsssees, 
were  now  vexed  to  death  on  that  score,  imagining  that 
nothing  remained  for  them,  but  to  dight  their  nebs  and  flee  up. 

Ignorant  folk  should  not  judge  rashly,  and  the  worthy 
town-council  were  here  in  e.ror  ;  for  their  surmises,  however 
feasible,  did  the  landlord  wrong.  Tn  a  minute  they  had  fresh 
wine  decanters  ranged  down  before  them,  filled  with  liquors 
of  all  variety  of  colours,  red,  green,  and  blue  ;  and  the  table 
was  covered  with  dishes  full  of  jargonelles  and  pippins,  rai« 


MY    A1N   FAITHEB.  23 

sins  and  almonds,  shell- walnuts,  and  plumdamases,  and  nut- 
crackers, and  every  thing  they  could  think  of  eating  ;  so 
that  after  drinking  iwThe  King,  and  long  life  to  him,"  and 
il  The  constitution  of  the  country  at  home  and  abroad,"  and 
"  Success  to  trade,"  and  fct  A  good  harvest,"  and  "  May 
ne'er  waur  be  among  us,"  and  ^Botheration  to  the  French," 
and  "  Corny  toes  and  short  shoes  to  the  foes  of  old  Scotland," 
and  so  on,  their  tongues  be^an  at  length  not  to  be  so  tacked  ; 
and  the  weight  of  their  own  dignity,  that  had  taken  flight 
before  his  lordship,  came  back  and  rested  on  their  shoulders. 

In  the  course  of  the  evening,  his  lordship  whispered  to 
one  of  the  flunkies  to  bring  in  some  things — they  could  not 
hear  what — as  the  company  might  iikcthem.  The  wise  ones 
thought  within  themselves  that  the  best  aye  comes  hindmost  ; 
go  in  brushed  a  powdered  valet,  with  three  dishes  on  his  arm 
of  twisted  black  things,  just  like  sticks  of  Gibraltar  rock, 
but  different  in  the  colour. 

Bailie  Bogie  helped  himself  to  a  jargonelle,  and  Deacon 
Purvis  to  a  wheen  raisins ;  and  my  uncle,  to  show  that  he 
was  not  frightened,  and  kent  what  he  was  about,  helped 
himself  to*  one  of  the  long  black  things,  which  without  much 
ceremony  he  shoved  into  his  mouth,  and  began  to  chew. 
Two  or  three  more,  seeing  that  my  uncle  was  up  to  trap, 
followed  his  example,  and  chewed  away  like  nine-year  olds. 

Instead  of  the  curious-looking  black  thing  being  sweet  as 
honey — for  so  they  expected — they  soon  found  they  had 
catched  a  Tartar  ;  for  it  had  a  confounded  bitter  tobacco- 
taste.  Manners,  however,  forbade  them  laying  them  down 
again,  more  especially  as  his  lordship,  like  a  man  dumfoun- 
dered,  was  aye  keeping  his  eye  on  them.  So  away  they 
chewed,  and  better  chewed,  and  whammelled  them  round  in 
their  mouths,  first  in  one  cheek,  and  then  in  the  other,  taking 
now  and  then  a  mouthful  of  drink  to  wash  the  trash  down, 
then  chewing  away  again,  and  syne  another  whammel  from 
one  cheek  to  the  other,  and  syne  another  mouthful,  whije 
the  whole  time  their  een  were  staring  in  their  heads  like 
mad,  and  the  faces  they  made  may  be  imagined,  but  cannot 
be  described.  His  lordship  gave  his  eyes  a  rub,  and  thought 
he  was  dreaming  ;  but  no — there  they  were  bodily,  chewing, 
and  whammelling,  and  making  faces ;  so  no  wonder  that, 
in  keeping  in  his  laugh,  he  sprung  a  button  from  his  waist- 
coat, and  was  like  to  drop  down-from  his  chair,  through  the 


24  LIFE   OP  MANSIE  WAUCH. 

floor,  in  an  ecstacy  of  astonishment,  seeing  they  were  ali 
growing  sea-sick,  and  pale  as  stucco-images. 

Frightened  out  of  his  wits  at  last,  that  he  would  be  the 
death  of  the  whole  councilvand  that  more  of  them  would 
pushion  themselves,  he  took  up  one  of  the  segars — every 
one  knows  segars  now,  for  they  are  fashionable  among  the 
very  sweeps — which  he  lighted  at  the  candle,  and  com- 
menced puffing  like  a  tobacco-pipe. 

My  uncle  and  the  rest,  if  they  were  ill  before,  were  worse 
now  ;  so  when  they  got  to  the  open  air,  instead  of  growing 
better,  they  grew  sicker  and  sicker,  till  they  were  waggling 
from  side  to  side  like  ships  in  a  storm  ;  and,  no  kenning 
whether  their  heels  or  head  were  uppermost,  went  spinning 
round  about  like  pieries. 

"  A  little  spark  may  make  muckle  wark."  It  is  perfectly 
wonderful  what  great  events  spring  out  of  trifles,  or  what 
seem  to  common  eyes  but  trifles.  !  do  not  allude  to  the 
nine  days*  deadly  sickness,  that  was  the  legacy  of  every  one 
that  ate  his  segar,  but  to  the  awful  truth,  that,  at  the  next 
election  of  councillors,  my  poor  uncle  Jamie  was  completely 
blackballed — a  general  spite  having  been  taken  to  him  in 
the  town- hall,  on  account  of  having  led  the  magistracy 
wrong,  by  doing  what  he  ought  to  have  let  alone,  thereby 
making  himself  and  the  rest  a  topic  of  amusement  to  the 
world  at  large,  for  many  and  many  a  month. 

Others,  to  be  sure,  it  becomes  me  to  make  mention,  have 
another  version  of  the  story,  and  impute  the  cause  of  his 
having  been  turned  out  to  the  implacable  wrath  of  old  Bailie 
Bogie,  whose  best  black  coat,  square  in  the  tails,  that  he 
had  worn  only  on  the  Sundays  for  nine  year,  was  totally 
spoiled,  on  their  way  home  in  the  dark  from  his  lordship's, 
by  a  tremendous  blash,  that  my  unfortunate  uncle  happened* 
in  the  course  of  nuture,  to  let  flee  in  the  frenzy  of  a  deadly 
upthrowing. 


C05HNG   INTO   THE   WORLD. 


CHAPTER  III. 

COMING  INTO  THE  WOULD. 

— .. At  first  the  babe 

Was  sickly  ;  and  a  smile  was  seen  to  pass 

Across  the  midwife's  cheek,  whpn,  holding  un 

The  feeble  wretch,  she  to  the  father  said, 

11  A  fine  roan  child  !"  What  else  could  they  expect  ? 

The  father  being,  as  I  said  before, 

A  weaver. 

Hogg's  Poetic  Mirror, 

I  have  no  distinct  recollection  of  the  tiling  myself,  yet 
there  is  every  reason  to  believe  that  I  was  horn  on  the  1 5tb 
of  October,  1765,  in  that  little  house,  standing  by  itself,  not 
many  yards  from  the  eastmost  side  of  the  Flesh-Market 
Gate,  Dalkeith.  My  eye3  opened  on  the  light  about  two 
o'clock  in  a  dark  and  rainy  morning.  Long  was  it  spoken 
about  that-  something  great  and  mysterious  would  happen 
on  that  dreary  night ;  as  the  cat,  after  washing  her  face, 
gaed  mewing  about,  with  her  tail  swecing  behind  her  like  e 
ramrod  ;  and  a  corbie,  from  the  Duke's  woods,  tumbled 
down  Jamie  Elder's  lum,  when  he  had  set  the  little  still 
a-going — giving  them  a  terrible  fright,  as  they  first  took  ii 
tor  the  deevil,  and  then  for  an  exciseman — and  fell  with  e 
great  cloud  of  soot,  and  a  loud  skraigh,  into  the  empty  kail* 
pot. 

The  first  thing  that  I  have  any  clear  memory  o/,  was  my 
being  carried  out  on  my  auntie's  shoulder,  with  a  leather 
cap  tied  under  my  chin,  to  see  the  Fair  Race.  Oh  !  but  it 
was  a  grand  sight  1  I  have  read  since  then  the  story  d 
Aladdin's  Wonderful  Lamp,  but  this  beat  it  all  to  sticks. — 
There  was  a  long  row  of  tables,  covered  with  carpets  ol 
bonny  patterns,  heaped  from  one  end  to  the  other  with,  shoes 
of  every  kind  and  size,  some  with  polished  soles,  and  some 
glittering  with  sparribles  and  cuddy-heels  ;  and  little  re< 
worsted  boots  for  bairns,  with  blue  and  white  edgings,  hing- 
ing like  strings  of  flowers  up  the  posts  at  each  end  ; — and 
then  what  a  collection  of  luggies !  the  whole  meal  in  the 


26 


LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCIt. 


market-sacks  on  a  Thursday  did  not  seem  able  to  fill  them  ; 
and  horn-spoons,  green  and  black  freckled,  with  shanks  as 
clear  as  amber, — and  timber  caups, — and  ivory  egg  cups  of 
every  pattern.  Have  a  care  of  us  !  all  the  eggs  in  Smeaton 
dairy  might  have  found  resting  places  for  their  doups  in  a 
row.  As  for  the  ginger-bread,  I  shall  not  attempt  a  de- 
scription. Sixpenny  and  shilling  cakes,  in  paper,  tied  with 
skinie ;  and  roundabouts,  and  snaps,  brown  and  white  qual- 
ity, and  parliaments,  on  stands  covered  with  calendered 
linen,  clean  from  the  fold.  To  pass  it  was  just  impossible  ; 
it  set  my  teeth  a-watering,  and  I  skirled  like  mad,  until  I  . 
had  a  gilded  lady  thrust  into  my  little  nieve  ;  the  which, 
after  admiring  for  a  minute,  I  applied  my  teeth  to,  and  of 
the  head  I  made  no  bones  ;  so  that  in  less  than  no  time, 
she  had  vanished,  petticoats  and  all,  no  trace  of  her  being 
to  the  fore,  save  and  except  long  treacly  daubs,  extending 
east  and  west  from  ear  to  ear,  and  north  and  south  from  cape 
neb  of  the  nose  to  the  extremity  of  beardy-iond. 

But.  what,  of  all  things,  attracted  my  attention,  on  that  me- 
morable day,  was  the  show  of  cows,  sheep,  and  horses, 
mooing,  baaing,  and  neighering  ;  and  the  race — that  was 
best !  Od,  what  a  sight ! — we  were  jammed  in  the  crowd  of 
auld  wives,  with  their  toys  and  shining  ribbons  ;  and  carter 
lads,  with  their  blue  bonnets  ;  and  young  wenches, 
carrying  home  their  fairings  in  napkins,  as  muckle  as  would 
hold  their  teeth  going  for  a  month  ; — there  scarcely  could 
be  muckle  for  love,  when  there  was  so  much  for  the  sto- 
mach ;— and  men,  with  wooden  legs,  and  brass  virls  at  the 
end  of  them,  playing  on  the  fiddle,— and  a  bear  that  roared, 
and  danced  on  its  hind  feet,  with  a  muzzled  mouth, — and 
Punch  and  Polly,-— and  puppie  shows,  and  mair  than  I  can 
tell, — when  up  came  the  horses  to  the  starting  post.  I  shall 
never  forget  the  bonny  dresses  of  the  riders.  One  had  a 
napkin  tied  round  his  head,  with  the  Haps  fleeing  behind  him  ; 
and  his  coat-tails  were  curled  up  into  a  big  hump  behind  ; 
it  was  so  tight  buttoned  ye  wadna  thought  he  could  have 
breathed.  His  corduroy  trowsers  (such  like  as  I  have  often 
since  made  to  growing  callants)  were  tied  round  his  ankles 
with  a  string  ;  and  he  had  a  rusty  spur  on  one  shoe,  which 
I  saw  a  man  take  off  to  lend  him.  Save  us  !  how  he  pulled 
the  beast's  head  by  the  bridle,  and  flapped  up  and  down  on 
the  saddle  when  he  tried  to  canter  !  The  second  one  had 
on  a  black  velvet  hunting-cap,  and  his  coat  stripped.     I  won- 


CALF-LOVE.  2 1 

der  he  was  not  feared  of  cauld,  his  shirt  being  like  a  riddle, 
arid  his  nether  nankeens  but  thin  for  such  weather  ;  but  he 
was  a  brave  lad  ;  and  sorry  were  the  folks  for  him,  when  he 
felloffin  taking  ower  sharp  a  turn,  by  which  auld  Pullen,  the 
bell-ringer,  wha  was  holding  the  post,  was  made  to  coup  the 
creels,  and  got  a  bloody  nose. — And  but  the  last  was  a 
wearyful  one !  He  was  all  life,  and  as  gleg  as  an  eel.  Up 
and  down  he  went  ;  and  up  and  down  gaed  the  beast  on  its 
hind-legs  and  its  fore-legs,  funking  like  mad  ;  yet  though  he 
was  not  aboon  thirteen,  or  fourteen  at  most,  he  did  not  cry 
out  for  help  more  than  five  or  six  times,  but  gripped  at  the 
mane  with  one  hand,  and  at  the  back  of  the  saddte  with  the 
other,  till  daft  Robie,  the  hostler  at  the  stable,  caught  hold  of 
the  beast  by  the  head,  and  off  they  set.  The  young  birkie 
had  neither  hat  nor  shoon,  but  he  did  not  spare  the  stick  ; 
round  and  round  they  flew  like  daft.  Ye  would  have 
thought  their  een  would  have  loupen  out ;  and  loudly  all  the 
crowd  were  hurraing,  when  young  hatless  came  up  foremost, 
standing  in  the  stirrups,  the  long  stick  between  his  teeth,  and 
his  white  hair  fleeing  behind  him  in  the  wind  like  streamers 
on  a  frostv  night, 


CHAPTER  IV. 

CALF-LOVE. 

Bonny  lassie,  will  ye  go,  will  ye  go,  will  ye  go, 
Bonny  lassie,  w  ill  ye  go  to  the  Birks  ot  Aberfeidy  ? 

Burns. 

For  a  tailor  is  a  man,  a  man,  a  man, 
And  a  tailor  is  a  man. 
\  Popular  Song. 

The  long  and  the  short  is,  that  I  was  sent  to  school,  where 
I  learned  to  read  and  spell,  making  great  progress  in  the 
Single's  and  Mother's  Carritch.  <a,  what  is  more,  few 
could  fickle  me  in  the  Bible,  being  mostly  able  to  spell  it  all 
over,  save  the  second  of  Ezra  and  the  seventh  of  Nehemiah, 
which  the  Dominie  himself  could  never  read  through  twice  in 
the  same  way. 

My  father,  to  whom  I  was  born,  like  Isaac  to  Abraham,  in 
his  old  age,  was  an  elder  in  the  Relief  Kirk,  respected  by  all 


28  LIFE   OF   MAN3IE    WAUCIf. 

for  Lis  canny  and  douce  behaviour,  and  as  I  have  observed 
before,  a  weaver  to  his  trade.  The  cot  and  the  kail-yard 
were  his  own,  and  had  been  auld  granfaither's  ;  but  still  he 
had  to  ply  the  shuttle  from  Monday  to  Saturday,  to  keep  all 
right  and  tight.  The  thrums  were  a  perquisite  of  my  own, 
which  1  niffered  with  the  gundy  wife  for  Gibraltar  rock,  cut- 
throat, gib,  or  bulls-eyes. 

Having  come  into  the  world  before  my  time,  and  being  of 
a  pale  face  and  delicate  make,  Nature  never  could  have  in- 
tended me  for  the  naval  or  military  line,  or  for  any  robustious 
trade  or  profession  whatsoever.  No,  no,  I  ne.ver  liked  fight- 
ing in  my  life  ;  peace  was  aye  in  my  thoughts.  When  there 
was  any  riot  in  the  streets,  I  fled,  and  scougged  myself  at  the 
chumley-lug  as  quickly  as  I  dowed  ;  and  rather  than  double  a 
nieve  to  a  school-fellow,  I  pocketed  many  shabby  epithets, 
got  my  paiks,  and  took  the  coucher's  blow  from  the  laddies 
that  could  hardly  reach  up  to  my  waistband. 

Just  after  I  was  put  to  my  'prenticeship,  having  made 
free  choice  of  the  tailoring  trade,  I  had  a  terrible  stound  of 
calf-love.  Never  shall  I  forget  it.  I  was  growing  up,  long 
and  lank  as  a  willow- wand.  Brawns  to  my  legs  there  were 
none,  as  my  trowsers  of  other  years  too  visibly  effected  to 
show.  The  long  yellow  hair  hung  down,  like  a  flax-wig,  the 
length  of  my  lantern  jaws,  which  looked,  notwithstanding  my 
yapness  and  stiff  appetite,  as  if  eating  and  they  had  broken  up 
acquaintanceship.  My  blue  jacket  seemed  in  the  sleeves  to 
have  picked  a  quarrel  with  the  wrists,  and  had  retreated  to  a 
tait  below  the  elbows.  The  haunch-buttons,  on  the  contrary, 
appeared  to  have  taken  a  strong  liking  to  the  shoulders,  a 
little  below  which  they  showed  their  tarnished  brightness.  At 
the  middle  of  the  back  the  tails  terminated,  leaving  the  well- 
worn  rear  of  my  corduroys,  like  a  full  moon  seen  through  a 
dark  haze.     Oh  !  but  I  must  have  been  a  bonny  lad. 

My  first  flame  was  the  minister's  lassie,  Jess,  a  buxom  and 
forward  quean,  two  or  three  years  older  than  myself.  I  used 
to  sit  looking  at  her  in  the  kirk,  and  felt  a  droll  confusion 
when  our  een  met.  It  dirled  through  my  heart  like  a  dart, 
and  I  looked  down  at  my  psalm-book  sheepish  and  blushing. 
Fain  would  I  have  spoken  to  her,  but  it  would  not  do  ;  my 
courage  aye  failed  me  at  the  pinch,  though  she  whiles  gave 
me  a  smile  when  she  passed  me.  She  used  to  go  to  the  well 
every  night  with  her  twa  stoups,  to  draw  water  after  the 
manner  of  the  Israelites  at  gloaming  ;  so  I  thought  of  watch- 
ing to  give  her  the  two  apples  which  I  had  carried  in  my 


CALF-LOVE.  29 

pouch  for  more  than  a  week  for  that  purpose.  How  she 
laughed  when  I  stappit  them  into  her  hand,  and  brushed  bye 
without  speaking  !  I  stood  at  the  bottom  of  the  close  listen- 
ing, and  heard  her  laughing  till  she  was  like  to  split.  My 
heart  flap-flappit  in  my  breast  like  a  pair  of  fanners.  It  was 
a  moment  of  heavenly  hope  ,  but  I  saw  Jamie  Coom,  the 
'  blacksmith,  who  1  aye  jealoused  was  my  rival,  coming  down 
to  the  well.  I  saw  her  give  him  one  of  the  apples ;  and  hear- 
ing him  say,  with  a  loud  gaffaw,  "Where  is  the  tailor  ?"  1  took 
to  my  heeis,  and  never  stopped  till  I  found  myself  on  the 
.little  stool  by  the  fireside,  and  the  hamely  sound  of  my  mo- 
ther's wheel  bum-bumming  in  my  lug,  like  a  gentle  lullaby. 

Every  noise  I  heard  flustered  me,  but  I  calmed  in  time, 
though  I  went  to  my  bed  without  my  supper.  When  I  was 
driving  out  the  gaislings  to  the  grass  on  the  next  morning,  who 
was  it  my  ill  fate  to  meet  but  the  blacksmith.  "  Ou,  Mansie," 
said  Jamie  Coom,  "  are  ye  gaun  to  take  me  for  your  best 
man  1  I  hear  you  are  to  be  cried  in  the  kirk  on  Sunday  ?" 

"  Me  !"  answered  T,  shaking  and  staring. 

u  Yes  1"  said  he,  "  Jess  the  minister's  maid  told  me  last 
night,  that  you  had  been  giving  up  your  name  at  the  manse. 
Ay,  it's  ower  true — for  she  showed  me  the  apples  ye  gied  her 
in  a  present.  This  is  a  bonny  story,  Mansie,  my  man,  and 
you  only  atyourprenticeshipyet." 

Terror  and  despair  had  struck  me  dumb.  I  stood  as  still 
and  as  stiff  as  a  web  of  buckram.  My  tongue  was  tied,  and 
I  could  not  contradict  him%  Jamie  faulded  his  arms,  and 
gaed  away  whistling,  turning  now  and  then  his  sooty  face  over 
his  shoulder,  and  mostly  sticking  his  tune,  as  he  could  not. 
keep  his  mouth  screwed  for  laughing.  What  would  I  not 
have  given  to  have  laughed  too  ! 

There  was  no  time  to  be  lost ;  this  was  the  Saturday.  The 
next  rising  sun  would  shine  on  the  Sabbath.  Ah,  what  a 
case  I  was  in  !  I  could  mostly  have  drowned  myself,  had  I  not 
been  frighted.  What  could  I  do  ?  My  love  had  vanished  like 
lightning  ;  but  oh,  I  was  in  a  terrible  gliff!  Instead  of  gundy, 
I  sold  my  thrums  to  Mrs.  Walnut  for  a  penny,  with  which  I 
nought  at  the  corner  a  sheet  of  paper  and  a  pen  ;  so  that  in- 
the  afternoon  I  wrote  out  a  letter  to  the  minister,  telling  him 
what  1  had  been  given  to  hear,  and  begging  him,  for  the 
sake  of  mercy,  not  to  believe  Jess's  word,  as  I  was  not  able 
to  keep  a  wife,  and  as  she  was  a  leeing  gipsy. 
3* 


30  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 


CHAPTER  V, 

CURSECOWL. 

From  his  red  poll  a  redder  cowl  hung  down  ; 
His*  jacket,  if  thro'  grease  we  guess,  was  brown  ; 
A  vigorous  scamp,  somt-  forty  summers  old  ; 
Rough  Shetland  stockings  up  his  thighs  were  rolled  ; 
While  at  his  side  horn-handled  steels  and  knives 
Gleamed  from  his  pouch,  and  thirsted  for  sheep's  lives. 

Odoherty's  Miscellanea  Classica. 

But,  losh  me  !  I  have  come  on  ower  far  already,  before 
mentioning  a  wonderful  thing  that  happened  to  me  when 
I  wa3  only  seven  year  old.  Few  things  in  my  eventful  life 
have  made  a  deeper  impression  on  me  than  what  I  am  going 
to  relate. 

It  was  the  custom,  in  these  times,  for  the  different  schools 
to  have  cock- fighting  pn  Fastenrs  E'en  ;  and  the  victor,  as 
he  was  called,  treated  the  other  scholars  to  a  footbalh  Many 
a  dust  have  I  seen  rise  out  of  that  business — broken  shins, 
and  broken  heads,  sore  bones,  and  sound  duckings — but  this 
was  none  of  these. 

Our  next  neighbour  was  a  flesher  ;  and  right  before  the 
window  was  a  large  stone,  on  which  auld  wives  with  their 
weans  would  sometimes  take  a  rest  ;  so  what  does  1,  when  I 
saw  the  whole  hobble-shaw  coming  fleeing  down  the  street, 
with  the  kickba'  at  their  noses,  but  up  I  speels  upon  the  stone, 
(I  was. a  wee  chap  with  a  daidley,  a  ruffled  shirt,  and  leather 
cap,  edged  with  rabbit  fur,)  that  I  might  see  all  the  fun. 
This  one  fell,  and  that  one  fell,  and  a  third  was  knocked 
over,  and  a  fourth  got  a  bloody  nose  ;  and  so  on  ;  and  there  was 
such  a  noise  and  din,  as  would  have  deaved  the  workmen  of 
Babel — when,  lo  !  and  behold  !  the  ball  played  bounce  mostly 
at  my  feet,  and  the  whole  mob  after  it.  1  thought  I  should 
have  been  dung  to  pieces  ;  so  I  pressed  myself  back  with  all 
my  might,  and  through  went  my  elbow  into  Cursecowl's 
kitchen..  It  did  not  stick  long  there.  Before  ye  could  say 
Jack  Robinson,  out  flew  the  flesher  in  his  killing-claiths  ;  his 
face  was  as  red  as  fire,  and  he  had  his  pouch  full  of  bloody 
knives  buckled  to  his  side.     I  skreighed  out  in  his  face  when 


CURSECOWt.  3| 

looked  at  him,  but  he  did  not  stop  a  moment  for  that,  With 
a  girn  that  was  like  to  rive  his  mouth,  he  twisted  his  nieve 
in  the  back  of  my  hair,  and  off*  with  me  hinging  by  the  cuff 
of  the  neck,  like  a  kittling.  My  een  were  like  to  loup  out 
of  my  head,  but  I  had  no  breath  to  cry.  I  heard  him  thraw 
the  key,  for  I  could  not  look  down,  the  skin  of  my  face  was 
pulled  so  tight ;  and  in  he  flang  me  like  a  pair  of  auld  boots 
into  his  booth,  where  I  landed  on  my  knees  upon  a  raw- 
bloody  calfs  skin.  I  thought  I  would  have  gone  out  of  my 
wits,  when  I  heard  the  door  lock  upon  me,  and  looked  round 
me  in  sic  an  unyearthly  place.  It  had  only  one  sparred  win- 
dow, and  there  was  a  garden  behind  ;  but  how  was  I  to  get 
out  ?  I  danced  round  and  round  about,  stamping  my  heels 
on  the  floor,  and  rubbing  my  begritten  face  with  my  coat- 
sleeve.  To  make  matters  worse,  it  was  wearing  to  the  darken* 
i.ng.  The  floor  was  all  covered  with  lappered  blood,  and  sheep 
and  calfskins.  The  calves  and  the  sheep  themselves,  with  their 
cuttit  throats^  and  glazed  een,  and  ghastly  girning  faces,  were 
hanging  about  on  pins,  heels  uppermost.  Losh  me  !  I 
thought  on  Bluebeard  and  his  wives  in  the  bloody  chamber ! 

And  all  the  time  it  was  growing  darker,  and,  darker,  and 
more  dreary  ;  and  all  was  quiet  as  death  itself.  It  looked, 
by  all  the  world,  like  a  grave,  and  me  buried  alive  within  it; 
till  the  rottens  came  out  of  their  holes  to  lick  the  blood,  and 
whisked  about  like  wee  evil  spirits.  I  thought  on  my  father, 
and  my  mother,  and  how  I  should  never  see  them  more  ;  for  I 
was  sure  that  Cursecowl  would  come  in  the  dark,  tie  my 
hands  and  feet  thegither,  and  lay  me  across  the  killing-stool. 
I  grew  more  and  more  frightened ;  and  it  grew  more  and  more, 
dark.  I  thought  all  the  sheepheads  were  looking  at  ane 
anither,  and  then  girn-girning  at  me.  At  last  I  grew  despe- 
rate ;  and  my  hair  was  as  stiff  as  wire,  though  it  was  as  wet  as 
if  I  had  been  douking  in  the  Esk.  I  began  to  bite  through 
the  wooden  spars  with  my  teeth,  and  rugged  at  them  with 
my  nails,  till  they  were  like  to  come  off — but  no,  it  would 
not  do.  At  length,  when  I  had  greeted  myself  mostly  blind, 
and  cried  till  I  was  as  hoarse  as  a  corbie,  I  saw  auld  Janet 
Hogg  taking  in  her  bit  claiths  from  the  bushes,  and  I  reeled 
and  screamed  till  she  heard  me.  It  was  like  being  trans- 
ported into  heaven  ;  for,  in  less  than  no  time,  my  mother 
with  her  apron  at  her  een,  was  at  the  door ;  and  Cursecowl, 
with  a  candle  in  the  front  of  his  hat,  had  scarcely  thrawn  the 
key,  when  out  1  flew,  and  she  lifted  up  her  foot,  (I  dare  say 


32  XIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

It  was  the  first  and  last  time  in  her  life,  for  she  was  a  douce 
woman,)  and  gave  him  such  a  kick  and  a  push,  that  he 
played  bleach  over,  head  foremost  ;  arid,  as  we  ran  down 
the  close,  we  heard  him  cursing  and  swearing,  in  the  dark, 
like  a  devil  incarnate. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

—         PUSHING  MY  FORTUNE. 

Ob,  love,  love,  lassie, 

Love  is  like  a  dizziness, 
It  wiuna  let  a  |>uir  bwdie 

Gang  about  their  business. 

James  Hogg. 

The  days  of  the  years  of  my  'prenticeship  having  glided 
cannily  over  on  the  working-board  of  my  respected  master, 
James  Hosey,  where  1  sat  working  cross-legged  like  a  busy 
bee,  in  the  true  spirit  of  industrious  contentment,  1  found  my- 
self, at  the  end  of  the  seven  years,  so  well  instructed  in  the 
tailoring  trade,  to  which  1  had  paid  a  near-sighted  attention, 
that,  without  more  ado,  \  girt  myself  round  about  with  a  proud 
determination  of  at  once  cutting  my  mother's  apron  string, 
and  venturing  to  go  without  a  hold.  Thinks  I  to  myself, 
"  faint  heart  never  won  a  fair  lady  ;1'  so,  taking  my  stick  in 
my  hand,  I  set  out  towards  Edinburgh,  as  brave  as^a  Icelan- 
der, in  search  of  a  journeyman's  place.  When  I  think  how 
many  have  been  out  of  bread,  month  after  month,  making  vain 
application  at  the  house  of  call,  I  may  set  it  down  to  an  es- 
pecial providence,  that  I  found  one,  on  the  very  first  day,  to 
my  heart's  content,  in  by  at  the  Grassmarket,  where  I  stayed 
for  the  space  of  six  calendar  mouths. 

Had  it  not  been  from  a  real  sense  of  the  duty  I  owed  to  my 
future  employers,  whomsoever  they  might  be,  in  making  my- 
self a  first-rate  hand  in  the  cutting,  shaping,  and  sewing  line, 
I  would  not  have  found  courage  in  my  breast  to  have  helped 
me  out  through  such  a  long  and  dreary  time.  The  change 
from  our  own  town,  where  ilka  face  was  friendly,  and  where 
I  could  ken  every  man  I  saw,  by  the  cut  of  his  coat,  at  half 
a  mile's  distance,  to  the  bum  and  bustle  o'  the  High  Street. 


PUSHING    MY    FORTUNE.  33 

the  tremendous  cannons  of  the  Castle  packed  full  of  soldiers 
ready  for  war,  and  the  filthy,  ill-smelling  abominations  of  the 
Cowgate,  where  I  put  up,  was  amaist  more  than  could  be 
tholed  by  man  of  woman  born.  My  lodging  was  up  six  pair 
of  stairs,  in  a  room  of  Widow  Randie's,  which  I  rented  for 
half-a-crown  a- week,  coals  included  ;  and  many  a  time,  after 
putting  out  my  candle,  before  stepping  into  my  bed,  I  used  to 
look  out  at  the  window,  where  1  could  see  thousands  and 
thousands  of  lamps,  spreading  for  miles  adown  streets  and 
through  squares,  where  f  did  not  ken  a  living  soul;  and  dree- 
ing the  awful  and  insignificant  sense  of  being  a  lonely  stran- 
ger in  a  foreign  land.  Then  would  the  memory  of  past  days 
return  to  me  ;  yet  I  had  the  same  trust  in  heaven  as  I  had  be- 
fore, seeing  that  they  were  the  dividual  stars  above  my  head 
which  I  used  to  glour  up  at  in  wonder  at  Dalkeith — pleasant 
Dalkeith !  aye  how  different,  with  its  bonny  river  Esk,  its  gar- 
dens full  of  gooseberry  bushes  and  pear  trees,  its  grass  parks, 
spotted  with  sheep,  and  its  grand  screen  woods  from  the  bully- 
ing blackguards,  the  comfortless  reek,  and  the  nasty  gutters 
of  the  Netherbow. 

To  those,  nevertheless,  that  take  the  world  as  they  find 
it,  there  are  pleasures  in  all  situations  ;  nor  was  mine,  bad 
though  I  allow  it  to  be,  entirely  destitute  of  them  ;  for  our 
work-room  being  at  the  top  of  the  stairs,  and  the  light  of 
heaven  coming  down  through  sky- lights,  three  in  number, 
we  could,  by  putting  out  our  heads,  have  a  vizzy  of  the 
grand  auncient  building  of  George  Heriot's  Hospital,  with 
the  crowds  of  young  laddies  playing  through  the  green  parks, 
with  their  bit  green  coaties,  and  shining  leather  caps,  like  a 
wheen  puddocks  ; — and  all  the  sweet  country  out  by  Bar- 
rowmuirhead,  and  thereaway  ;  together  with  the  Corstor- 
phine  Hills — and  the.  Braid  Hills — and  the  Pentland  Hills 
— and  all  the  rest  of  the  hills,  covered  here  and  there  with 
tufts  of  blooming  whins,  as  yellow  as  the  beaten  gold — 
spotted  round  about  their  bottoms  with  green  trees,  and 
growing  corn,  but  with  tops  as  bare  as  a  gaberlunzie's  coat 
— kepping  the  rowling  clouds  on  their  awful  shouthers  on 
cold  and  misty  days  ;  and  freckled  over  with  the  flowers  of 
the  purple  heather,  on  which  the  shy  moor-fowl  take  a  de- 
light to  fatten  and  fill  their  craps,  through  the  cosey  months 
of  the  blythe  summer  time. 

Let  nobody  take  it  amiss,  yet  I   must  bear  witness  to  the 
truth,  though  the  de'il  should  have  me.     My  heart  was  sea* 


34  MFE   OF  MANSIE   WAI7CH. 

sick  of  Edinburgh  folk  and  town  manners,  for  the  which  I 
had  no  stomach.  I  could  form  no  friendly  acquaintanceship 
with  a  living  soul  ;  so  I  abode  by  myself,  like  St.  John  in 
the  isle  of  Patmos,  on  spare  allowance,  making  a  sheep* 
head  serve  me  for  three  days'  kitchen.  I  longed  like  a 
sailor  that  has  been  long  at  sea,  and  wasted  and  weather- 
beaten,  10  see  once  more  my  native  home  ;  and,  bundling 
up,  flee  from  the  noisy  stramash  to  the  loun  dykeside  of  do- 
mestic privacy.  Every  thing  around  me  seemed  to  smell  of 
sin  and  pollution,  like  the  garments  of  the  Egyptians  with 
the  ten  plagues  ;  and  often,  after  I  took  off  my  claes  to  lie 
down  in  my  bed,  when  the  watcnmen  that  guarded  us 
through  the  night  in  blue  dreadnoughts  with  red  necks,  and 
battons,  and  horn-bouets,  from  thieves,  murderers,  and  pick- 
pockets, were  bawling  kfc  half-past  ten  o'clock,"  did  I  com- 
mune with  my  own  heart,  and  think  within  myself,  that  I 
would  rather  be  a  sober,  poor,  honest  man  in  the  country^ 
able  to  clear  my  day  and  way  by  the  help  of  providence, 
than  the  Provost  himself,  my  lord  though  he  be,  or  even  the 
Mayor  of  London,  with  his  velvet  gown  trailing  for  yards  in 
the  glaur  behind  him — do  what  he  likes  to  keep  it  up ;  or 
riding  about  the  streets — as  Joey  Smith,  the  Yorkshire 
jockey,  to  whom  I  made  a  hunting-rap,  told  me — in  a  coach 
made  of  clear  crystal,  and  wheels  of  the  beaten  gold. 

It  was  an  awful  business  ;  dog  on  it,  I  aye  wonder  yet 
how  I  got  through  with  it.  There  was  no  rest  for  soul  or 
body,  by  night  or  day,  with  police  officers  crying  "  one 
o'clock,  an'  a  frosty  morning,"  knocking  Eirishmen's  teeth 
down  their  throats  with  their  battons,  hauling  limmers  by 
the  lug  and  horn  into  the  lock-up  house,  or  over  by  to  Bride- 
well, where  they  were  sent  to  beat  hemp  for  a  small  wage, 
and  got  their  heads  shaved  ;  with  carters  bawling,  "  ye  yo, 
yellow  sand,  yellow  sand.,"  with  mouths  as  wide  as  a  barn- 
door, and  voices  that  made  the  drums  of  your  ears  dirl,  and 
ring  again  like  mad ;  with  fishwives  from  Newhaven,  Coc- 
kenzie,  and  fisher-row,  skirling  "  roug-a-rug,  warstling 
herring,"  as  if  every  one  was  trying  to  drown  out  her  nei- 
bour,  till  the  very  landladies  at  the  top  of  the  seventeen 
storey  houses,  could  hear,  if  they  liked  to  be  fashed,  and 
might  come  down  at  their  leisure  to  buy  them  at  three  for 
a-penny  ;  men  from  Barnton,  and  thereaway  on  the  Queens- 
ferry  road,  halloing  "  Sour  douk,  sour  douk  ;'^  tinklers  skir- 
mishing the  edges  of  brown  plates,  they  were  trying  to  make 


PUSHING   MY   FORTUNE.  35 

the  auk!  wives  buy — and  what  not.  To  me  it  was  a  real 
hell  upon  earth. 

Never  let  us  repine,  howsomever,  but  consider  that  all  is 
ordered  for  the  best.  The  sons  of  the  patriarch  Jacob  found 
out  their  brother  Joseph  in  a  foreign  land,  and  where  they 
least  expected  it ;  so  it  was  here — even  here,  where  my 
heart  was  sickening  unto  death,  from  my  daily  and  nightly 
thoughts  being  bitter  as  gall — that  I  fell  in  with  the  greatest 
blessing  of  my  life,  Nanse  Cromie  ! 

In  the  flat  below  our  workshop  lived  Mrs.  WHitterraick, 
the  wife  of  Mr.  YV  hitterraick,  a  dealer  in  hens  and  hams  in 
the  poultry  market,  that  had  been  fallen  in  with,  when  her 
gudeman  was  riding  out  on  his  bit  sheltie  in  the  Lauder  di- 
rection, bargaining  with  the  farmers  for  their  ducks,  chickens, 
gaislings,  geese,  turkey-pouts,  howtowdies,  guinea-hens, 
and  other  barn-door  fowls  ;  and,  among  his  other  calls,  hav- 
ing happened  to  make  a  transaction  with  her  father,  anenf; 
some  Anchovy-ducks,  he,  by  a  warm  invitation,  was  kindly 
pressed  to  remain  for  the  night. 

The  upshot  of  the  business  was,  that,  on  mounting  his 
pony  to  make  the  best  of  his  way  home,  next  morning  after 
breakfast,  Maister  VVhitteraick  found  he  was  shot  through 
the  heart  with  a  stound  of  love  ;  and  that,  unless  a  suitable 
remedy  could  be  got,  there  was  no  hope  for  him  on  this 
side  of  time,  let  alone  blowing  out  his  brains,  or  standing 
before  the  minister.  Right  it  was  in  him  to  run  the  risk  of 
deciding  on  the  last ;  and  so  well  did  he  play  his  game,  that, 
in  two  months  from  that  date,  after  sending  sundry  presents 
on  his  part  to  the  family,  of  smeaked  hams  and  salt  tongues, 
— acknowledged  on  theirs,  by  return  of  carrier",  in  the  shape 
of  sucking  pigs,  jargonelle  pears,  and  such  like, — matters 
were  southered  ;  and  Miss  Jeanie  Learig,  made  into  Mrs. 
Whitteraick,  by  the  blessing  of  Dr.  Blether,  rode  away  into 
Edinburgh  in  a  post-chaise,  with  a  brown  and  a  black  horse, 
one  blind,  and  the  other  lame,  seated  cheek- by -jowl  with 
her  loving  spouse,  who,  doubtless,  was  busked  out  in  his 
best,  with  a  Manchester  superfine  blue  coat,  and  double  gilt 
buttons,  a  waterproof  hat,  silk  stockings,  with  open-steek 
gushats,  and  bright  yellow  shamoy  gloves. 

A  stranger  among  strangers,  and  no  kenning  how  she 
might  thole  the  company  and  conversation  of  town -life,  Mrs. 
Whitteraick,  that  was  to  be,  hired  a  bit  wench  of  a  lassie 
from  the  neighbourhood,  that  was  to  follow  her,  come  the 


36  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WA17CH. 

term.  And  who  think  ye  should  this  lassie  be,  but  Nanse 
Cromie, — afterwards,  in  the  course  of  a  kind  providence, 
the  honoured  wife  of  my  bosom,  and  the  mother  of  bonny 
Benjie. 

Jn  going  up  and  down  the  stairs — it  being  a  common 
entry,  ye  observe — me  maybe  going  down  with  my  every- 
day hat  on  to  my  dinner,  and  she  coming  up,  carrying  a 
stoup  of  water,  or  half-a-pound  of  pouthered  butter  on  a 
plate,  with  a  piece  paper  thrown  over  it, — we  frequently 
met  half-way,  and  had  to  stand  still  to  let  one  another  pass. 
Nothing  came  out  of  these  foregatherings,  howsomever,  for 
a  month  or  two,  she  being  as  shy  and  modest  as  she  was 
bonny,  with  her  clean  demity  short  gown,  and  snow-white 
morning  mutch,  to  say  nothing  of  her  cherry  mou,  and  her 
glancing  een  ;  and  me  unco  douffie  in  making  up  to  stran- 
gers. We  could  not  help,  nevertheless,  to  take  aye  a  stoun 
look  of  each  other  in  passing ;  and  I  was  a  gone  man,  be^ 
witched  out  of  my  seven  senses,  falling  from  my  claes,  losing 
my  stomach,  and  over  the  lugs  in  love,  three  weeks  and 
some  odd  days  before  ever  a  single  syllable  passed  be- 
tween  us. 

Gude  kens  how  long  this  Quaker-meeting-like  silence 
would  have  continued,  had  we  not  chanced  to  foregather 
one  gloaming  ;  and  J,  having  gotten  a  dram  from  one  of 
our  customers  with  a  hump- back,  at  the  Crosscausev,  whose 
fashionable  new  coat  1  had  been  out  fitting  on,  found  myself 
as  brave  as  a  Bengal  tiger,  and  said  to  her,  u  This  is  a  fine- 
day,  I  say,  my  dear  iNancy." 

The  ice  being  once  broken,  every  thing  went  on  as 
smoothly  as  ye  like  ;  so,  in  the  long  run,  we  went  like  light- 
ning from  twa  handed  cracks  on  the  stair-head,  to  stovvn 
walks,  after  work-hours,  out  by  the  West  Fort,  and  there- 
away. 

If  ever  a  man  loved,  and  loved  like  mad.  it  was  me,  Mansie 
Wauch,  and  I  take  no  shame  in  the  confession;  but  kenning  it  all 
in  the  course  of  nature,  declare  it  openly  and  courageously  in 
the  face  of  the  wide  world.  Let  them  laugh  who  like  ;  honest 
folk,  I  pity  them ;  such  know  not  the  pleasures  of  virtuous 
affection.  It  is  not  in  corrupted,  sinful  hearts,  that  the  fire 
of  true  love  can  ever  burn  clear.  Alas,  and  ohon  orie !  they 
Jose  the  sweetest,  completest,  dearest,  truest  pleasure  that  this 
world  has  in  store  for  its  children.  They  know  not  the  bliss 
.to  meet,  that  makes  the  embrace  of  separation  bitter.     They 


PUSHING   MY  FORTUNE.  37 

never  dreamed  the  dreams  that  make  wakening  to  the  morn- 
ing light  unpleasant.  They  never  felt  the  raptures  that  can 
dirl  like  darts  through  a  man's  soul  from  a  woman's  ee.  They 
never  tasted  the  honey  that  dwells  on  a  woman's  lip,  sweeter 
than  yellow  marvgolds  to  the  bee  ;  or  fretted  under  the  fever 
of  bliss  that  glows  through  the  frame  in  pressing  the  hand  of 
a  suddenly  met,  and  fluttering  sweetheart.  But  tuts-tuts — 
hech-how  !  my  day  has  long  since  par  ;  and  this  is  stuff  to 
drop  from  the  lips  of  an  auld  fool.  Nevertheless,  forgive 
me,  friends  :  I  cannot  help  ail- powerful  nature. 

Nanse's  taste  being  like  my  own,  we  amused  one  another 
in  abusing  great  cities,  which  are  all  chokefull  of  the  abomi- 
nations of  the  Scarlet  Woman  ;  and  it  is  curious  how  soon  I 
learned  to  be  up  to  trap — I  mean  in  an  honest  way;  for, 
when  she  said  she  was  wearying  the  very  heart  out  of  her  to  be 
home  again  to  Lauder,  which  she  said  was  her  native,  and 
the  true  land  of  Goshen,  I  spoke  back  to  her  by  way  of  an- 
swer— "  Nancy,  my  dear,  believe  me  that  the  real  land  of 
Goshen  is  out  at  Dalkeith  ;  and  if  ye'll  take  up  house  wi'  me, 
and  enter  into  a  way  of  doing,  1  daursay  in  a  while  ye'll  come 
to  think  so  too." 

What  will  ye  say  there  ?  Matters  were  by-and-by  settled 
full  tosh  between  us  ;  and,  though  the  means  of  both  parties 
were  small,  we  were  young,  and  able  and  willing  to  help  one 
another.  Nanse,  out  of  her  wages,  had  hained  a  trifle  ;  and  I 
had,  safe  lodged,  under  lock-and-key  in  the  bank  of  Scotland, 
against  the  time  of  rny  setting  up,  the  siller  which  was  got  by 
selling  the  bit  house  of  granfaither's  on  the  death  of  my  ever- 
to-be-larnented  mother,  who  survived  her  helpmate  only  six 
months,  leaving  me  an  orphan  lad  in  a  wicked  world,  obliged 
to  fend,  forage,  and  look  out  for  myself. 

Taking  matters  into  account,  therefore,  and  considering 
that  it  is  not  good  for  man  to  be  alone,  Nanse  and  me  laid  our 
heads  together  towards  the  taking  a  bit  house  in  the  fore- 
street  of  Dalkeith,  and  at  our  leisure  kept  a  look-out  about  buy 
ing  the  plenishing — the  ex penseof  which,  for  different  littles 
and  littles,  amounted  to  more  than  we  expected  ;  yet,  to  our 
hearts  content,  we  made  some  most  famous  second-hand  bar* 
gains  of  sprechery,  among  the  old-furniture  warehousemen  of 
the  Cowgate.  I  might  put  down  here  the  prices  of  the  room 
grate,  the  bachelor's  oven,  the  cheese-toaster,  and  the  warm- 
ing-pan especially,  which,  though  it  had  a  wheen  holes  in  it* 
4 


38  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

kept  a  fine  polish  ;  but  somehow  or  other,  have  lost  the  re- 
ceipt, and  cannot  make  true  affidavv. 

Certain  it  is,  whatever  cadgers  may  say  to  the  contrary, 
that  the  back  is  aye  made  for  the  burden  ;  and,  were  all  to  use 
the  means,  and  be  industrious,  many,  that  wyte  bad  harvests, 
and  worse  times,  would  have,  like  the  miller  in  the  auld  sang, 
u  A  penny  in  the  purse  for  dinner  and  for  supper,"  or  better 
to  finish  the  verse,  "  Gin  ye  please  a  guid  fat  cheese,  and 
lumps  o'  yellow  butter.',' 

For  two  three  days,  I  must  confess,  after  Maister  Wiggie 
had  gone  through  the  ceremony  of  tying  us  together,  and 
Nanse  and  me  found  ourselves  in  the  comfortable  situation 
of  man  and  wife,  I  was  a  wee  dowie  and  desponding,  think- 
ing that  we  were  to  have  a  numerous  small  family,  and  where 
trade  was  to  come  from  ;  but  no  sooner  was  my  sign  nailed 
up,  with  four  iron  haudfasts,  by  Johnny  Hammer,  painted  in 
black  letters,  on  a  blue  ground,  with  the  picture  of  a  jacket  on 
one  side,  and  a  pair  of  shears  on  the  other, — and  my  shop- 
door  opened  to  the  public,  with  a  wheen  ready-made  waist- 
coats, gallowses,  leather-caps,  and  Kilmarnock  cowls,  hung 
up  at  the  window,  than  business  flowed  in  upon  us  in  a  per- 
fect torrent.  First  one  came  in  for  his  measure,  and  then 
another.  A  wife  came  in  for  a  pair  of  red  worsted  boots  for 
her  bairn,  but  Would  not  take  them  for  they  had  not  blue 
fringes.  A  bare-headed  lassie,  hoping  to  be  handsel,  thretv 
down  twopence,  and  asked  tape  at  three  yards  for  a  halfpenny. 
The  minister  sent  an  old  black  coat  beneath  his  maid's  arm, 
prinned  up  in  a  towel,  to  get  docked  in  the  tails  down  into  a 
jacket ;  which  I  trust  I  did  to  his  entire  satisfaction,  making  it 
lit  to  a  hair.  The  Duke's  butler  himself  patronized  me,  by 
sending  me  a  coat  which  was  all  hair  powder  and  pomate,  to 
get  a  new  neck  put  to  it.  And  James  Batter,  aye  a  staunch 
friend  to  the  family,  despatched  a  barefoot  cripple  lassie  down 
the  close  to  me,  with  a  brown  paper  parcel,  tied  with  skinie, 
and  having  a  memorandum  letter  sewed  on  the  top  of  it,  and 
wafered  with  a  wafer.  It  ran  as  follows  :  "  Maister  Batter 
has  sent  down  per  the  bearer,  with  his  compliments  to  Mais- 
ter Wauch,  a  cuttikin  of  corduroy, deficient  in  the  instap, 
which  please  let  out,  as  required.  Maister  Wauch  will 
also  please  be  so  good  as  observe,  that  three  of  the  buttons 
have  sprung  the  thorls,  which  he  will  be  obliged  to  him  to 
replace,  at  his  earliest  convenience.  Please  send  me  a  mes- 
sage what  that  may  be  ;  and  have  the  account  made  out, 


THE    FOREWARNING*  39 

article  for  article,  and  duly  discharged,  that  I  may  send  down 
the  bearer  with  the  change  ;  and  to  bring  me  back  the  eutti- 
kin  and  the  account,  to  save  time  and  trouble.  I  am,  dear 
sir,  your  most  obedient  friend,  and  ever  most  sincerely, 

"  James  Batter." 

No  wonder  than  we  attracted  customers,  for  our  sign  was 
the  prettiest  ye  ever  saw,  though  the  jacket  was  not  just  so 
neatly  painted,  as  for  some  sand-blind  creatures  not  to  take  it 
for  a  goose.  I  daresay  there  were  fifty  halt- naked  bairns  glo wr- 
ing their  een  out  of  their  heads  at  it,  from  morning  till  night; 
and,  after  they  all  were  gone  to  their  beds,  both  Nanse  and 
me  found  ourselves  so  proud  of  our  new  situation  in  life,  that 
we  slipped  out  in  the  dark  by  ourselves,  and  had  a  prime  look 
at  it  with  a  lantern. 


CHAPTER  VII. 
THE  forewarning. 

I  bad  a  dream  which  was  not  all  a  dream. 

Btron. 

Coming  events  cast  their  shadows  before. 

Campbell, 

On  first  commencing  business,  I  have  freely  confessed,  I 
believe,  that  I  was  unco  solicitous  of  custom,  though  less  from 
sinful,  selfish  motives,  than  from  the,  I  trust,  laudable  fear  I 
had  about  becoming  in  a  jiffy  the  father  of  a  small  family, 
every  one  with  a  mouth  to  rill  and  a  back  to  cleid — helpless 
bairns,  with  nothing  to  look  to  or  lean  on,  save  and  except 
the  proceeds  of  my  daily  handiwork.  Nothing,  however,  is 
sure  in  this  world,  as  Maister  Wiggie  more  than  once  took 
occasion  to  observe,  when  lecturing  on  the  house  built  by  the 
foolish  man  on  the  sea-sands  ;  for  months  passed  on,  and 
better  passed  an  ;  and  these,  added  together  by  simple  addi- 
tion, amounted  to  three  years  ;  and  still  neither  word  nor 
wittens  of  a  family,  to  perpetuate  our  name  to  future  genera- 
tions, appeared  to  be  forthcoming. 

Between  friends,  I  make  no  secret  of  the  matter,  that  this 


40 


LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCH7 


was  a  catastrophe  which  vexed  me  not  a  Jittle,  for  more  rea- 
sons than  one.  In  the  first  place,  youngsters  being  a  bond 
of  mutual  affection  between  man  and  wife,  sweeter  than  honey 
from  the  comb,  and  stronger  than  the  Roman  cement,  with 
which  the  old  Picts  built  their  briggs,  that  will  last  till  the  day 
of  doom.  In  the  second  place,  bairns  toddling  round  a  bit 
ingle,  make  a  house  look  like  itself,  especially  in  the  winter 
time,  when  hail-stanes  rattle  on  the  window,  and  winds  roar 
like  the  voices  of*  mighty  giants  at  the  lum-head  ;  for  then 
the  maister  of  the  dwelling  finds  himself  like  an  ancient  pa- 
triarch, and  the  shepherd  of  a  flock,  tender  as  young  lambs, 
yet  pleasant  to  his  eye,  and  dear  to  his  heart.  And  in  the  third 
place,  (for  I'll  speak  the  truth,  and  shame  the  De'il)  as  I 
could  not  thole  the  gibes  and  idle  tongues  of  a  wheen  fools, 
that,  for  their  diversion,  would  be  asking  me,  u  How  the 
wife  and  bairns  were  ;  and  if  I  had  sent  my  auldest  laddie  to 
the  school  yet  ?" 

I  have  swithered  within  myself  for  more  than  half- an-h our, 
whether  I  should  relate  a  circumstance  bordering  a  wee  on 
the  supernatural  line,  that  happened  to  me,  as  connected 
with  the  business  of  the  bairns  of  which  I  have  been  just  speak- 
ing ;  and  were  it  for  no  other  reason  but  just  to  plague  the 
scoffer  th<vt  sits  in  his  elbow-chair,  I  have  determined  to  jot 
down  the  whole  miraculous  paraphernally  in  black  and  white. 
With  folk  that  will  not  listen  to  the  voice  of  reason,  it  is  need- 
less to  be  wasterful  of  words  ;  so  them  that  like,  may  either 
prin  their  faith  to  my  coat-sleeve,  about  what  I  am  going  to 
relate,  or  not — just  as  they  choose.  All  that  I  can  say  in  my 
defence,  and  as  an  affidavy  to  my  veracity,  is,  that  I  have 
been  thirty  year  an  elder  of  Maister  Wiggie's  kirk — and  that 
is  no  joke.  The  matter  I  make  free  to  consider  is  not  a  laugh- 
ing concern,  nor  any  thing  belonging  to  the  Merry-Andrew 
line  ;  and,  if  folk  were  but  strong  in  the  faith,  there  is  no 
saying  what  may  comejo  pass  for  their  good.  One  might  as 
well  hold  up  their  brazen  face,  and  pretend  not  to  believe  ony 
thing — neither  the  Witch  of  Endor  raising  up  Samuel  ;  nor 
Cornel  Gardener's  vision  ;  nor  Johnny  Wilkes  and  the  De'il  ; 
nor  Peden's  propheciea. 

Nanse  and  me  aye  made  what  they  call  an  anniversary  of  our 
wedding-day,  which  happened  to  be  the  fifth  of  November, 
the  very  same  as  that  on  which  the  Gunpowder  Plot  chances 
to  be  occasionally  held, — Sunday's  excepted  According  to 
custom,  this  being  the  third  year,  we  collected  a  good  few 


THE    FOREWARNING.  41 

friends  to  a  tea-drinking  ;  and  had  our  cracks  and  a  glass  or 
two  of  toddy.  Thomas  Burlings,  if  I  mind,  was  there,  and 
his  wife  ;  and  Deacon  Paunch,  he  was  a  bachelor  ;  and  like- 
wise James  Batter  ;  and  David  Sawdust  and  his  wife,  and  their 
four  bairns,  guid  customers  ;  and  a  wheen  more,  that,  with- 
out telling  a  lie,  I  could  not  venture  to  particularize  at  this 
moment,  though  maybe  I  may  mind  them  when  Fm  no  want- 
ing, but  na«  matter. — Well,  as  I  am  saying,  after  they  a'  gaed 
away,  and  Nanse  and  me,  after  locking  the  door,  slipped  to 
our  bed,  I  had  one  of  the  most  miraculous  dreams  recorded 
in  the  history  of  man  ;  more  especially  if  we  take  into  con- 
sideration, where,  when,  and  to  whom  it  happened. 

At  first  I  thought  I  was  sitting  by  the  fireside,  where  the 
cat  and  the  kittling  were  playing  with  a  mouse  they  had 
catched  in  the  meal-kit,  cracking  with  James  Batter  on 
check-reels  for  yarn,  and  the  cleverest  way  of  winding  pirns, 
when,  all  at  once,  I  thought  myself  transplanted  back  to  the 
auld  world, — forgetting  the  tailoring  trade,  broad  and  narrow 
cloth,  worsted  boots,  and  Kilmarnock  cowls,  pleasant  Dal- 
keith, our  late  yearly  ploy,  my  kith  and  kindred,  the  friends 
of  the  people,  the  Duke's  parks,  and  so  on. — and  found  my- 
self walking  beneath  beautiful  trees,  from  the  branches  of 
which  hung  apples,  and  oranges,  and  cocky-nuts,  and  wal- 
nuts, and  raisins,  and  plumdameses,  and  corrydanders,  and 
more  than  the  tongue  of  man  can  tell,  while  all  the  birds  and 
beasts  seemed  as  tame  as  our  bantings  ;  in  fact,  just  as  they 
were  in  the  days  of  Adam  and  Eve, — tigers  passing  by  on  this 
hand,  and  Russian  bears  on  that,  rowing  themselves  on  the 
grass,  out  of  fun  ;  while  peacocks,  and  magpies,  and  parrots, 
and  cockytoos,  and  yorlins,  and  grey-lint-ies,  and  all  birds 
of  sweet  voice  and  fair  feather,  sported  among  the  woods, 
as  if  they  had  nothing  to  do  but  sit  and  sing  in  the  sweet 
sunshine,  having  dread  neither  of  the  net  of  the  fowler,  the 
double-barrelled  gun  of  the  gamekeeper,  nor  the  laddie's  girn 
set  with  moolings  of  bread.  It  was  real  paradise  ;  and  I 
Tound  myself  fairly  lifted  off  my  feet  and  transported  out  of 
my  seven  senses. 

While  sauntering  about  at  my  leisure,  with  my  Sunday 
hat  on,  and  a  pair  of  clean  white  cotton  stockings,  in  this 
heavenly  mood,  under  the  green  trees,  and  beside  the  still 
waters,  out  of  which  beautiful  salmon-trouts  were  sporting 
and  leaping,  methought  in  a  moment  I  fell  down  in  a  trance, 
as  fiat  as  a  flounder,  and  I  heard  a  voice  visibly  saying  to  me, 

4* 


42  LIFE   OP   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

"  Thou  shalt  have  a  son  :  let  him  be  Christened  Benjamin  i  '  , 
The  joy  that  this  vision  brought  my  spirit  thrilled  through  my 
bones,  like  the  sounds  of  a  blind  man  grinding  "  Rule  Bri- 
tannia" out  of  an  organ,  ami  my  senses  vanished  from  me 
into  a  kind  of  slumber,  on  rousing  from  which  I  thought  I 
found  myself  walking,  all  dressed,  with  powdered  hair,  and  a 
long  tye  behind,  just  like  a  grand  gentleman,  with  a  valuable 
bamboo  walking-stick  in  my  hand,  among  green  verbs  and 
flowers,  like  an  auncient  hermit  far  away  among  the  hills,  at 
the  back  of  beyont ;  as  if  broadcloth  and  buckram  had  never 
been  heard  tell  of,  and  serge,  twist,  pocket- linings,  and  sham- 
by  leather,  were  matters  with  which  mortal  man  had  no 
concern. 

Speak  of  auld-light  or  new  light  as  ye  like,  for  my  own  part 
I  am  not  much  taken  up  with  any  of  your  warlock  and  wiz- 
ard trade  :  I  have  no  brew  of  your  auld  Major  Weir,  or  Tarn 
0*  Shanter,  or  Michael  Scott,  or  Thamas  the  Rhymer's  kind, 
knocking  in  pins  behind  doors  to  make  decent  folk  dance, 
jig,  cut,  and  shuffle  themselves  to  death, — splitting  the  hills 
as  ye  would  spelder  a  haddy,  and  playing  all  manner  of  evil 
pranks,  and  sinful  abominations,  till  their  crafty  maister,  Auld 
Nick,  nuts  them  to  their  mettle,  by  setting  them  to  twine 
ropes  out  of  sea-sand,  and  sic  like.  I  like  none  of  your  pater- 
nosters, and  saying  of  prayers  backwards,  or  drawing  lines 
with  caulk  round  ye,  before  crying, 

"  Hedcowl,  redcowl,  come  if  you  daur ; 
Lilt  the  sneck,  and  draw  the  bar. 

I  never,  in  the  whole  course  of  my  life,  was  fond  of  lend- 
ing the  sanction  of  my  countenance  to  any  thing  that  was 
not  canny  ;  and,  even  when  I  was  a  wee  smout  of  a  callant. 
with  my  jacket  and  trowsers  buttoned  all  in  one,  I  never 
would  play,  on  Hallo' -e'en  night,  at  any  thing  else  but  douk- 
ing  for  apples,  burning  nuts,  pulling  kail-runts,  foul  water 
and  clean,  drapping  the  egg^  or  trying  w7ho  was  to  be  your 
sweetheart  out  of  the  lucky-bag. 

As  I  have  often  thought,  and  sometimes  taken  occasion  to 
observe,  it  would  be  well  for  us  all  to  profit  by  experience, — 
fct  burned  bairns  should  dread  the  fire,"  as  the  proverb  goes. 
After  the  miserable  catastrophe  of  the  playhouse,  for 
instance — which  I  shall  afterwards  have  occasion  to  com- 
memorate in  due  time,  and  in  a  subsequent  chapter  of  my 
eVentful  life— I  would  have  been  worse  than  mad,  had  I  per- 


THE    FOREWARNING.  43 

sisted,  night  after  night,  to  pay  my  shilling  for  a  veesy  of  va- 
grants in  buckram,  and  limmers  in  silk,  parading  away  at  no 
allowance, — as  kings  and  queens,  with  their  tale — speaking 
havers  that  only  fools  have  throats  wide  enough  to  swallow, 
and  giving  themselves  airs  to  which  they  have  no  more  earthly 
title  than  the  man  in  the  moon  ;  I  say  nothing,  besides,  of 
their  throwing  glamour  in  honest  folks  een  ;  but  I'll  no  deny 
that  I  have  been  told  by  them  who  would  not  lee,  and  were 
living  witnesses  of  the  transaction,  that  as  true  as  death,  they 
had  seen  the  tane  of  these  ne'erdoweels  spit  the  other,  through 
and  through,  with  a  weel-sharpened,  auld,  hieland,  forty-se- 
cond Andrew  Ferrary,  in  single  combat  ;  whereupon,  as 
might  reasonably  be  expected,  he  would,  in  the  twinkling  of 
a  farthing  rushlight,  fall  down  as  dead  as  a  bag  of  sand  ;  yet, 
by  their  rictum-tickturn,  rise-up-Jack,  slight  of  hand,  hocus- 
pocus  way,  would  be  on  his  legs,  brushing  the  stour  from  his 
breek  knees,  before  the  green  curtain  was  half-way  down. 
James  Batter  himself  once  told  me,  that,  when  he  was  a  lad- 
die, he  saw  one  of  these  clanjamphrey  go  in  behind  the  scenes 
with  nankeen  trowsers,  a  blue  coat  out  at  the  elbows,  and 
fair  hair  hinging  over  his  ears,  and  in  less  than  no  time  come 
out  a  real  negro,  as  black  as  Rbbison  Crusoe's  man  Friday, 
with  a  jacket  on  his  back  of  Ylacgregor  tartan,  and  as  good 
a  pair  of  buckskin  breeches  as  jockey  ever  mounted  horse 
in  at  Newmarket  race.  Where  the  silk  stockings  were 
wrought,  and  the  Jerusalem  sandals  made,  that  he  had  on  his 
feet,  James  Batter  used  doucely  to  observe  he  would  leave 
every  reasonable  man  to  guess  at  a  venture. 

A  good  story  not  being  the  worse  of  being  twice  told,  I 
repeat  it  over  again,  that  I  would  have  been  worse  than  daft, 
after  the  precious  warning  it  was  my  fortune  to  get,  to  have 
sanctioned  such  places  with  my  presence,  in  spite  of  the  re- 
monstrances of  my  conscience — and  of  Maister  Wiggie — and 
of  the  kirk-session.  Wherever  any  thing  is  carried  on  out  of 
the  course  of  nature,  especially  when  accompanied  with  danc- 
ing and  singing,  toot-tooting  of  clarionets,  and  bumming  of 
bass-fiddles,  ye  may  be  as  sure  as  you  are  born,  that  ye  run 
a  chance  of  being  deluded  out  of  your  right  senses — that 
the  sounds  are  by  way  of  lulling  the  soul  asleep — and  that,  to 
the  certainty  of  a-without-a-doubt,  you  are  in  the  heat  and 
heart  of  one  of  the  devil's  rendevooses. 

To  say  no  more,  I  was  once  myself,  for  example,  at  one 
of  our   Dalkeith  fairs,  present   in  a  hay-lofl — I  think  they 


44  LIFE    OF    MANSIE    WAUCH.  \ 

charged  threepence  at  the  door,  but  let  me  in  with  a  grudge 
for  twopence,  but  no  matter — to  see  a  punch  and  puppie- 
show  business,  and  other  slight- of-hand  work.  Well,  the 
very  moment  I  put  my  neb  within  the  door,  I  was  visibly  con- 
vinced of  the  smell  of  burnt  roset,  with  which  I  understand 
they  make  lightning,  and  kent,  as  well  as  maybe,  what  * 
they  had  been  trafFecking  about  with  their  black-art  ;  but. 
nevertheless,  having  a  stout  heart,  1  determined  to  sit  still, 
and  see  what  they  would  make  of  it,  kenning  well  enough, 
that,  as  long  as  I  had  the  Psalm-book  in  my  pouch,  they 
would  be  gay  and  clever  to  throw  any  of  their  blasted  cantrips 
over  me. 

What  div  ye  think  they  did  ?  One  of  them,  a  wauf,  drucken- 
looking  scoundrel,  fired, a  gold  ring  over  the  window,  and 
mostly  set  fire  to  the  thack  house  opposite — which  was  not  in- 
sured. Yet  where  think  ye  did  the  ring  go  to  ?  With  my 
living  een  I  saw  it  taen  out  of  auld  Willie  Turneep's  waist- 
coat pouch,  who  was  sitting  blind  fou,  with  his  mouth  open, 
on  one  of  the  back  seats  ;  so,  by  no  earthly  possibility  could 
it  have  got  there,  except  by  whizzing  round  the  gavel,  and 
in  through  the  steeked  door  by  the  key-hole. 

Folk  may  say  what  they  chuse  by  way  of  apology,  but  I 
neither  like  nor  understand  such  on-going  as  changing  ster- 
ling silver  half-crowns  into  copper  penny-pieces,  or  mending 
a  man's  coat — as  they  did  mine,  after  cutting  a  blad  out  of 
one  of  the  tails— by  the  b!ack-art. 

But,  hout-tout,  one  thing  and  another  coming  across  me, 
had  almost* clean  made  me  iorget  explaining  to  the  world 
the  upshot  of  my  extraordinary  vision  ;  but  better  late  than 
never, — and  now  for  it. 

Nanse,  on  finding  herself  in  a  certain  way,  was  a  thought 
dumfoundered  ;  and  instead  of  laughing,  as  she  did  at  first, 
when  I  told  her  my  dream,  she  soon  came  to  regard  the 
matter  as  one  of  sober  earnest.  The  very  prospect  of  what 
was  to  happen  threw  a  gleam  of  comfort  round  our  bit  fire- 
side ;  and,  long  ere  the  day  had  come  about  which  was  to 
crown  our  expectations,  Nanse  was  prepared  with  her  bit 
stock  of  baby's  wearing  a;>»>arel,  and  all  necessaries  apper- 
taining thereto — wee  little  mutches  with  lace  borders,  and 
side  knots  of  blue  three-ha'penny  ribbon — long  muslin 
frockies,  vandyked  across  the  breast,  drawn  round  the  waist 
with  narrow  nittings,  and  tucked  five  rows  about  the  tail — 
Welsh-flannel  petticoaties — demity  wrappers — a  coral  gum- 


—      letting:  lodgings.  45 

stick,  and  other  uncos,  which  it  does  not  befit  the  like  of  me 
to  particularize.  1  trust,  on  my  part,  as  far  as  in  me  lay,  J 
was  not  found  wanting  ;  having  taken  care  to  provide  a  fa- 
mous Dunlop  cheese,  at  five  pence  ha'penny  the  pound — f 
blief  J  paled  fifteen,  in  Joseph  Gowdy's  shop,  before  I  fixed 
on  it  ;  to  say  nothing  of  a  bottle,  or  maybe  two,  of  real 
peet-reek,  Farintosh,  small-still  Hieland  whisky — Glenlivat 
J  think  is  the  na.-.-e  o't — half  a  peck  of  shortbread,  baken 
by  Thomas  Burlings,  with  three  pounds  of  butter,  and  two 
ounces  of  carvie-seeds  in  it,  let  alone  orange-peel,  and  a 
penny-worth  of  ground  cinnamon — half  a  mutchkin  of  best 
cony  brandy,  by  way  of  change—and  a  Musselburgh  anker- 
stoke,  to  slice  down  for  tea-drinkings  and  posset  cups. 

Every  one  has  reason  to  be  thankful,  and  me  among  the 
rest ;  for  many  a  worse  provided  for,  and  less  welcome 
down-lying  has  taken  place,  time  out  of  mind,  throughout 
broad  Scotland.  I  say  this  with  a  warm  heart,  as  I  am 
grateful  for  all  my  mercies.  To  hundreds  above  hundreds 
such  a  catastrophe  brings  scarcely  any  joy  at  all ;  but  it  was 
far  different  with  me,  who  had  a  Benjamin  to  look  for. 

If  the  reader  will  be  so  kind  as  look  over  the  next  chapter, 
he  will  find  whether  or  not  I  was  disappointed  in  my  expec- 
tations. 


CHAPTER  Vitf, 

LETTING    LODGINGS. 

Then  first  he  ate  the  white  puddings, 

And  syne  he  ate  the  black,  O  ; 
Though  muckle  thought  th<-  Gudewife  to  hersell, 

Yet  ne'er  a  word  she  spak,  O. 
But  up  then  started  our  Gudeman, 

And  an  angry  man  was  he,  O. 

Old  Sons.      ' 

It  would  be  curious  if  I  passed  over  a  remarkable  inci- 
dent which  at  this  time  fell  out. — Being  but  new  beginners 
in  the  world,  the  wife  and  I  put  our  heads  constantly  to- 
gether to  contrive  for  our  forward  advancement,  as  it  is  the 
bounden  duty  of  all  to  do.     So  our  housie  being  rather  large 


46  LIFE  OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 

(two  rooms  and  a  kitchen,  not  speaking  of  a  coal-cellar  and 
a  hen-house,)  and  having  as  yet  only  the  expectation  of  a 
family,  we  thought  we  could  not  do  better  than  get  John 
Varnish,  the  painter,  to  do  off  a  small  ticket,  with  "  A  Fur- 
nished Room  to  Let"  on  it,  which  we  nailed  out  at  the 
window  ;  having  collected  into  it  the  choicest  of  our  furni- 
ture, that  it  might  fit  a  genteeler  lodger  and  produce  abet- 
ter rent. — And  a  lodger  soon  we  got. 

Dog  on  it !  I  think  I  see  him  yet.  He  was  a  blackavised 
Englishman,  with  curled  whiskers  and  a  powdered  pow,  stout 
round  the  waist-band,  and  fond  of  good  eating,  let  alone 
drinking,  as  we  found  to  our  cost.  Well,  he  was  our  first 
lodger.  We  sought  a  good  price,  that  we  might,  on  bar- 
gaining, have  the  merit  of  coming  down  a  tait ;  but  no,  no 
— go  away  wi'  ye  ;  it  was  dog-cheap  to  him.  The  half- 
guinea  a  week  was  judged  perfectly  moderate  ;  but  if  all  his 
debts  were yet  I  must  not  cut  before  the  cloth. 

Hang  expenses  !  was  the  order  of  the  day.  Ham  and  eggs 
for  breakfast,  let  alone  our  currant-jelly.  Roast  mutton 
cold,  and  strong  ale,  at  twelve,  by  way  of  chack,  to  keep 
away  wind  from  the  stomach..  Smoking  roast-beef,  with 
scraped  horse-raddish,  at  four  preceesely  ; — and  toasted 
cheese,  punch,  and  porter,  for  supper.  It  would  have  been 
less,  had  ail  the  things  been  within  ourselves.  Nothing  had 
we  but  the  cauler  new-laid  eggs  ;  then,,  there  was  Deacon 
Heukbane's  butcher's  account  :  and  John  Cony's  spirit  ac- 
count ;  and  William  Burling's  bap  account ;  and  deevil 
kens  how  many  more  accounts,  that  came  all  in  upon  us 
afterwards.  But  the  crowning  of  all  came  in  at  the  end.— 
It  was  no  farce  at  the  time,  and  kept  our  heads  down  at  the 
water  edge  for  many  a  day.  I  was  just  driving  the  hot  guse 
along  the  seams  of  a  Sunday  jacket  I  was  finishing  for 
Thomas  Clod,  the  ploughman,  when  the  Englisher  came  in 
at  the  shop  door,  whistling  "  Robin  Adair,"  and  "  Scots 
wha  ha'e  wi'  Wallace  bled,"  and  whiles,  maybe,  churming 
to  himself  like  a  young  blackbird  :  but  I  have  not  patience 
to  go  through  wi't.  The  long  and  the  short  of  the  matter, 
however,  was,  that,  after  rummaging  among  my  two  or  three 
webs  of  broad-cloth  on  the  shelf,  he  pitched  on  a  Manches- 
ter blue,  five  quarters  wide,  marked  CXD.XF,  which  is  to 
say  three-and-twenty  shillings  the  yard.  I  told  him  it  was 
impossible  to  make  a  pair  of  pantaloons  to  him  in.two  hours  ; 
but  he  insisted  upon  having  them,  alive  or  dead,  as  he  had 


LETTING  LODGINGS,  47 

to  go  down  the  same  afternoon  to  dine  with  my  Lord  Duke, 
no  less.  I  convinced  him,  that  if  I  was  to  sit  up  all  night, 
he  could  get  them  by  five  next  morning,  if  that  would  do,  as 
I  would  also  keep  my  laddie,  Tammy  Bodkin,  out  of  his 
bed  ;  but  no — I  thought  he  would  have  loupen  out  of  his 
seven  senses.  u  Just  look,"  he  said,  turning  up  the  inside 
seam  of  the  leg — "just  see — can  any  gentleman  make  a 
visit  in  such  things  as  these  ?  they  are  as  full  of  holes  as  a 
coal-sieve.  I  wonder  the  devil  why  my  baggage  has  not 
come  forward.  Can  I  get  a  horse  and  boy  to  ride  express 
to  Edinburgh  for  a  ready-made  article  ?" 

A  thought  struck  me ;  for  1  had  heard  of  wonderful  advance- 
ment in  the  world,  for  those  who  had  been  so  lucky  as  help 
the  great  at  a  pinch.  u  If  ye  '11  no  take  it  amiss,  sir,"  said 
J,  making  my  obedience,  "  a  notion  has  just  struck  me." 

"  Well,  what  is  it  ?"  said  he,  briskly. 

"  Well,  sir,  I  have  a  pair  of  knee-breeches,  of  most  fa- 
mous velveteen,  double  tweel,  which  have  been  only  once 
on  my  legs,  and  that  no  farther  gone  than  last  Sabbath. — 
1  'in  pretty  sure  they  would  fit  ye  in  the  meantime  ;  and  1 
would  just  take  a  pleasure  in  ca'ing  the  needle  all  night  to 
get  your  own  ready.'' 

u  A  clever  thought,"  said  the  Englisher.  "  Do  you  think 
they  would  fit  me  ?     Devilish  clever  thought,  indeed." 

"  To  a  hair,"  I  answered  ;  and  cried  to  Nanse  to  bring 
the  velveteens. 

I  do  not  think  he  was  ten  minutes,  when  lo,  and  behold  1 
out  at  the  door  he  went,  and  away  past  the  shop-window 
like  a  lamp- lighter.  The  buttons  on  the  velveteens  were 
glittering  like  gold  at  the  knees.  Alas  !  it  was  like  the  flash 
of  the  setting  sun  ;  I  never  beheld  them  more.  He  was  to 
have  been  back  in  two  or  three  hours,  but  the  laddie,  with 
the  box  on  his  shoulder,  was  going  through  the  street  crying 
0k  Hot  penny-pies"  for  supper,  and  neither  words  nor  wittens 
of  him.  I  began  to  be  a  thought  uneasy,  and  fidgetted  on 
the  board  like  a  hen  on  a  hot  girdle.  No  man  should  do 
any  thing  when  he  is  vexed,  but  I  could  not  help  giving 
Tammy  Bodkin,  who  was  sewing  away  at  the  lining  of  the 
new  pantaloons,  a  terrible  whisk  in  the  lug,  for  singing  to 
himself.  I  say  I  ,was  vexed  for  it  afterwards  ;  especially  as 
the  laddie  did  not  mean  to  give  offence  ;  and  as  I  saw  the 
blae  marks  of  my  four  fingers  along  his  chaft-blade. 

The  wife  had  been  bothering  me  for  a  new  gown,  on 


48  LIFE    OF    MANSIE    WAUCH. 

strength  of  the  payment  of  cur  grand  bill ;  and  in  came  she. 

at  this  blessed  moment  of  time,  with  about  twenty  swatches 

from  Simeon  Calicoe's,  prinned  on  a  screed  of  paper. 
"  Which  of  thae  do  you  think  bonniest  ?"  said  Nanse,  in 

a  flattering  way  :   "  I  ken,  Mansie,  you  have  a  good  taste. " 
"  Cut  not  before  the  cloth,"  answered   I,  "  gudewife," 

with  a  wise  shake  of  my  head.     fck  It  *\l  be  time  enough,  I 

daresay,  to  make  your  choice  to-morrow." 

Nanse  went  out  as  if  her  nose  had   been  blooding.     I 

could  thole  it   no  longer  ;  so,  buttoning  my  breek-knees,  I 

threw  my  cowl  into  a  corner,  clapped  my  hat  on  my  head, 

and  away  down  in  full  birr  to  the  Duke's  gate. 

1  speired  atlhe  porter,  if  the  gentleman  with  the  velveteen 

breeches  and  powdered  hair,  that  was  dining  with  the  Duke, 

had  come  up  the  avenue  yet  ? 

"  Velveteen    breeches   and    powdered   hair!"    said   auld 

Paul,  laughing,  and  taking  the  pipe  out  of  his  cheek. — 

-  Whose  butler  is  't  that  ye 're  after  ?" 

"  Wee!,"  said  1  to  him, "  I  see  it  all  as  plain  as  a  pikestaff. 

He  is  off  bodily  ;  but  may  the  meat  and  the  drink  he  has 

taken  off  us,  be  like  drogs  to  his  inside  ;  and  may  the  vel- 
veteens play  crack,  and  cast  tiie  steeks  at  every  stap  he 
takes  !"  It  was  no  Christian  wish  ;  and  Paul  leugh  till  he 
was  like  to  burst,  at  my  expense.     "  "Gang  ye  're  ways  hame, 

Mansie,"  said  he  to  me,  clapping  me  on  the  shoulder,  as  If 

I  had  been  a  wean,  w  and  give  over  setting  traps,  for  ye  see 
you  have  catched  a  Tartar." 

This  was  too  much  ; .  first  to  be  cheated  by  a  swindling 
loon,  and  then  made  game  of  by  a  flunky  ;  and,  in  my  des- 
peration, I  determined  to  do  some  awful  thing. 

Nanse  followed  me  in  from  the  door,  and  speired  what 
news  ?  I  was  ower  big,  and  ower  vexed  to  hear  her  ;  so, 
never  letting  on,  I  went  to  the  little  looking-glass  on  the  . 
drawer's  head,  and  set  it  down  on  the  table.  Then  I  looked 
myself  in  it  for  a  moment,  and  made  a  gruesome  face. — 
Syne  I  pulled  out  the  little  drawer,  and  got  the  sharping 
strap,  the  which  I  fastened  to  my  button.  Syne  I  took  my 
razor  from  the  box,  and  gave  it  five  or  six  turns,  along  first 
one  side  and  then  the  other,  with  great  precision.  Syne  I 
tried  the  edge  of  it  along  the  flat  of  my  hand.  Syne  I  loosed 
my  neck-cloth,  and  laid  it  over  the  back  of  the  chair  ;  and 
syne  I  took  out  the  button  of  my  shirt-neck,  and  folded  it 
back.     Nanse,  who  was,  all  the  time,  standing  behind,  look- 


LETTING   LODGINGS.  49 

r 

ing  what  1  was  after,  asked  me  "  if  I  was  gaen  to  shave 
without  het  water?"  when  I  said  to  her,  in  a  fierce  and 
brave  manner,  (which  was  very  cruel,  considering  the  way 
she  was  in,)  "  I  '11  let  you  see  that  presently."  The  razor 
looked  desperate  sharp  ;  and  I  never  liked  the  sight  of 
blood  ;  but,  oh  f  I  was  in  a  terrible  flurry  and  fermentation. 
A  kind  of  cold  trembling  went  through  me  ;  and  I  thought 
it  best  to  tell  Nanse  what  I  was  going  to  do,  that  she  might 
be  something  prepared  for  it.  "  Fare  ye  well,  my  dear  !'* 
said  I  to  her  :  "  you  will  be  a  widow  in  five  minutes — for 
here  goes !"  I  did  not  think  she  could  have  mustered  so 
much  courage,  but  she  sprang  at  me  like  a  tiger  ;  and, 
throwing  the  razor  into  the  ass-hole,  took  me  round  the  neck, 
and  cried  like  a  bairn.  First  she  was  seized  with  a  fit  of 
the  hysterics,  and  then  with  her  pains.  It  was  a  serious 
time  for  us  both,  and  no  joke  ;  for  my  heart  smote  me  for 
my  sin  and  cruelty.  But  I  did  my  best  to  make  up  for  it. 
1  ran  up  and  down  like  mad,  for  the  Howdie,  and  at  last 
brought  her  trotting  along  with  me  by  the  lug.  I  could  not 
stand  it.  -I  shut  myself  up  in  the  shop,  with  Tammy  Bod- 
kin, like  Daniel  in  the  lion's  den  ;  and  every  now  and  then 
opened  the  door  to  speir  what  news.  Oh,  but  my  heart 
was  like  to  break  with  anxiety.  I  paced  up  and  down,  and 
to  and  fro,  with  my  Kilmarnock  on  my  head,*  and  my  hands 
in  my  breek-pouches,  like  a  man  out  of  Bedlam.  I  thought 
it  would  never  be  over ;  but,  at  the  second  hour  of  the 
morning,  I  heard  a  wee  squeel,  and  knew  that  I  was  a 
father  ;  and  so  proud  was  I,  that,  notwithstanding  our  loss, 
Lucky  Bringthereout  and  me  whanged  away  at  the  cheese 
and  bread,  and  drank  so  briskly  at  the  whisky  and  foot-yil]„ 
that,  when  she  tried  to  rise  and  go  away,  she  could  not  stir 
a  foot ;  so  Tammy  and  I  had  to  oxter  her  out  between  us, 
ind  deliver  her  safe  in  at  her  own  door. 


30  LIFE  OF  MANSIE  WAUCII* 


CHAPTER  IX. 
benjie's  christening. 

We'll  hap  and  row,  hap  and  row, 
We'll  hap  and  row  the  feetie  o't ; 
It  is  a  wee  bit  weary  thing, 
1  dinna  bide  the  greetie  o't. 

Provost  Creech. 

An  honest  man,  close  buttoned  to  the  chin, 
Bred-cloth  without  and  a  warm  heart  within. 

Cowper. 

f  his  great  globe  and  all  that  it  inherits  shall  dissolve, 
And,  like  the  baseless  fabric  of  a  vision, 
Leave  not  a  wreck  behind. 

Shakspeare. 

At  the  kirstening  of  our  only  bairn,  Benjie,  two  or  three 
remarkable  circumstances  occurred,  which  it  behooves  me  to 
relate. 

It  was  on  a  cold  November  afternoon  ;  and  really  when 
the  bit  room  was  all  redd  up,  the  fire  bleezingaway,  and  the 
candles  lighted,  everything  looked  hY  tosh  and  comfortable. 
It  was  a  real  pleasure,  after  looking  out  into  the  drift  that 
was  fleeing  like  mad  from  the  east,  to  turn  one's  neb  inwards, 
and  think  that  we  had  a  civilized  home  to  comfort  us  in  the 
dreary  season.  So,  one  after  another,  the  bit  party  we  had 
invited  to  the  ceremony,  came  papping  in  ;  and  the  crack 
began  to  get  loud  and  hearty  ;  for,  to  speak  the  truth,  we 
were  blessed  with  canny  friends,  and  a  good  neighbourhood. 
Notwithstanding,  it  was  very  curious,  that  I  had  no  mind  of 
asking  down  James  Batter,  the  weaver,  honest  man,  though 
he  was  one  of  our  own  elders  ;  and  in  papped  James,  just 
when  the  company  had  hafflins  met ;  with  his  stocking- 
sleeves  on  his  arms,  his  night-cap  on  his  head,  and  his  blue- 
stained  apron  hanging  down  before  him,  to  light  his  pipe  at 
our  fire. 

James,  when  he  saw  his  mistake,  was  fain  to  make  his 
retreat ;  but  we  would  not  hear  tell  of  it,  till  he  came  in,  and 
teok  a  dram  out  of  the  bottle,  as  we  told  him  the  no  doing  so 


benjie's  ciikistening.  51 

would  spoil  the  wean's  beauty,  which  is  an  old  freak,  (the 
smallpox,  however,  afterwards  did  that ;)  so,  with  much  per- 
suasion, he  took  a  chair  for  a  glifT,  and  began  with  some  of 
his  drolls — for  he  is  a  clever,  humoursome  man,  as  ye  ever 
met  with.  But  he  had  now  got  far  on  with  his  jests,  when 
lo!  a  rap  came  to  the  door,  and  Mysie  whipped  away  the  bottle 
under  her  apron,  saying  "  wheesht,  wheesht,  for  the  sake  of 
gudeness,  there's  the  minister." 

The  room  had  only  one  door,  and  Jamie  mistook  it,  run- 
ning his  head,  for  lack  of  knowledge,  into  the  open  closet, 
just  as  the  minister  lifted  the  outer-door  sneck.  VVe  were  all 
now  sitting  on  nettles,  for  we  were  frighted  that  James  would 
be  seized  with  a  cough,  for  he  was  a  wee  asthmatic  ;  or  that 
some,  knowing  there  was  a  thief  in  the  pantry,  might  hurt 
good  manners  by  breaking  out  into  a  giggle.  However,  all 
for  a  considerable  time  was  quiet,  and  the  ceremony  was 
performed  ;  little  Nancy,  our  niece,  handing  the  bairn  upon 
my  arm  to  receive  its  name.  So,  we  thought,  as  the  minister 
seldom  made  a  long  stav  on  similar  occasions,  that  all  would 
pass  off  well  enough.     But  wait  a  wee. 

There  was  but  one  of  our  company  that  had  not  cast  up, 
to  wit,  Deacon  Paunch,  the  flesher,  a  most  worthy  man,  but 
tremendously  big.  and  gr.  wn  to  the  very  heels,  as  was  once 
seen  on  a  wager,  that  his  nnkle  was  greater  than  my  brans. 
It  was  really  a  pain  to  all  ^eling  Christians,  to  see  the  worthy 
man  waigling  about,  being,  when  weighed  in  his  own  scales, 
two-and-twenty  stone  ten  ounces,  Dutch  weight.  Honest 
man,  he  had  had  a  sore  fecht  with  the  wind  and  the  sleet, 
and  he  came  in  with  a  shawl  roppined  round  his  neck,  pech- 
ing  like  a  broken-winded  horse  ;  so  fain  was  he  to  find  a  rest 
for  his  weary  carcass  in  our  stuffed  chintz  pattern  elbow-chair 
by  the  fire  cheek. 

From  the  soughing  of  wind  at  the  window,  and  the  rattling 
in  the  lum,  it  was  clear  to  all  manner  of  comprehension,  that 
the  night  was  a  dismal  one  ;  so  the  minister,  seeing  so  many 
of  his  own  douce  folk  about  him,  thought  he  might  do  worse 
than  volunteer  to  sit  still,  and  try  our  toddy  ;  indeed  we  would 
have  pressed  him  before  this  to  do  so  ;  but  what  was  to  come 
of  James  Batter,  who  was  shut  up  in  the  closet,  like  the  spies 
in  the  house  of  Rahab  the  harlot,  in  the  city  of  Jericho  ? 

James  began  to  find  it  was  a  bad  business  ;  and  having 
been  driving  the  shuttle  about  from  before  daylight,  he  was 
fain  to  cruik  his  hough,  and  felt  round  about  him  quietly  in 


52  t£FE  OF  MANSrE  WAUCH. 

the  (lark  for  a  chair  to  sit  down  upon,  since  better  might  not 
be.     But,  wae's  me  !  the  cat  was  soon  out  of  the  pock. 

Me  and  the  minister  were  just  argle-bargling  some  few- 
Words  on  the  doctrine  of  the  camel  and  the  eye  of  the  needle, 
when,  in  the  midst  of  our  discourse,  as  all  was  wheesht  and 
attentive,  an  awful  thud  was  heard  in  the  closet,  which  gave 
the  minister,  who  thought  the  house  had  fallen  down,  such  a 
start,  that  his  very  wig  louped  tor  a  full  three-eighths  off  his 
crown.  I  say  we  were  needcessitated  to  let  the  cat  out  of  the 
pock  for  two  reasons  ;  firstly,  because  we  did  not  know  what 
had  happened,  and  secondly,  to  quiet  the  minister's  fears,  de- 
cent man,  for  fee  was  a  wee  nervous.  So  we  made  a  hearty 
laugh  of  it,  as  well  as  we  would,  and  opened  the  door  to  bid 
James  Batter  come  out,  as  we  confessed  all.  Easier  said 
than  done,  howsoever.  When  we  pulled  open  the  door,  and 
took  forward  one  of  the  candles,  there  was  James  doubled 
up,  sticking  twofold  like  a  rotten  in  a  sneck-trap,  in  an  auld 
chair,  the  bottom  of  which  had  gone  down  before  him,  and 
which,  for  some  craize  about  it,  had  been  put  out  of  the  way 
by  Nanse,  that  no  accident  might  happen.  Save  us  !  if  the 
deacon  had  sate  down  upon  it,  pity  on  our  brick-flour. 

Well,  after  some  ado,  we  got  James,  who  was  more  fright 
ed  than  hurt,  hauled  out  of  his  hidy-hole  ;  and  alter  taking  off 
his  cowl,  and  sleeking  down  his  front  hair,  he  took  a  seat  be- 
side us,  apologeezing  for  not  being  in  his  Sunday's  garb,  the 
which  the  minister,  who  was  a  free  and  easy  man,  declared 
there  was  no  occasion  for,  anc  begged  him  to  make  himself 
comfortable. 

Well,  passing  over  that  business,  Mr.  Wiggie  and  me  en- 
tered into  our  humours,  lor  the  drappikie  was  beginning  to 
tell  on  my  noddle,  and  mad«?  me  a  little  venturesome — i  >t 
to  say  that  I  was  not  a  little  proud  to  have  the  minister  in  my 
bit  housie  ;  so,  says  I  to  him  in  a  cosh  way,  "  Ye  may  believe 
me  or  no,  Mr.  Wiggie,  but  mair  than  me  think  ye  out  of  sight 
the  best  preacher  in  the  parish — nane  of  them,  Mr.  Wiggie, 
can  hold  the  candle  to  ye,  man." 

"  Wheesht,  wheesht,"  said  the  body,  in  rather  a  cold  way 
that  I  did  not  expect,  kenning  him  to  he  as  proud  as  a  peacock 
— "  I  daresay  I  am  just  like  my  neighbours." 

This  was  not  just  so  kind, — so  says  I  to  him,  u  Maybe  sae. 
for  many  a  one  thinks  ye  could  not  hold  a  candle  to  Mr. 
Blowster  the  Cameronian,  that  whiles  preaches  at  Lugton." 

This  was  astramp  on  his  corny  toe.     "  Na,  na,"  answer* 


senjib's  christening.  53 

ed  Mr.  Wiggie,  rather  nettled  ;  "  let  us  drop  that  subject. 
I  preach  like  my  neighbours.  Some  of  them  may  be  worse, 
and  others  better;  just  as  some  of  your  own  trade  may  make 
clothes  worse,  and  some  better,  than  yourself." 

My  corruption  was  raised.  u  I  deny  that,*'  said  I,  in  a 
brisk  manner,  which  I  was  sorry  for  after — "  I  deny  that, 
Mr.  Wiggie,"  says  I  to  him  ;  "  I'll  make  a  pair  of  breeches 
with  the  face  of  clay." 

But  this  was  only  a  passing  breeze,  during  the  which, 
howsoever,  I  happened  to  swallow  my  thimble,  which  acci- 
dentally slipped  of  my  middle  finger,  causing  both  me  and 
the  company  general  alarm,  as  there  were  great  fears  that  it 
might  mortify  in  the  stomach  ;  but  it  did  not ;  and  neither 
word  nor  wittens  of  it  have  been  seen  or  heard  tell  of  from  that 
to  this  day.  So,  in  two  three  minutes,  we  had  some  few 
good  songs,  and  a  round  of  Scotch  proverbs,  when  the  clock 
chapped  eleven.  We  were  all  getting,  1  must  confess,  a 
thought  noisy  ;  Johnny  Souter  having  broken  a  dram-glass, 
and  Willie  Fegs  couped  a  bottle  on  the  bit  table-cloth  ;  all 
noisy,  I  say,  except  Deacon  Paunch,  douce  man,  who  had 
fallen  into  a  pleasant  slumber  ;  so,  when  the  minister  rose  to 
take  his  hat,  they  all  rose  except  the  Deacon,  whom  we 
shook  by  the  arms  for  some  time,  but  in  vain,  to  waken  him. 
His  round,  oily  face,  good  creature,  was  just  as  if  it  had  been 
cut  out  of  a  big  turnip,  it  was  so  fat,  fozy,  and  soft ;  but  at 
last,  after  some  ado,  we  succeeded,  and  he  looked  about  him 
with  a  wild  stare,  opening  his  two  red  een,  like  Pandora 
oysters,  asking  what  had  happened  ;  and  we  got  him  hoized 
up  on  his  legs,  tying  the  blue  shawl  round  his  bull-neck  again. 

Our  company  had  not  got  well  out  of  the  door,  a*id  I  was 
priding  myself  in  my  heart,  about  being  landlord  to  such  a 
goodly  turn  out,  when  Nanse  took  me  by  the  arm,  and  said* 
**  Come,  and  see  such  an  unearthly  sight."  This  startled 
me,  and  I  hesitated  ;  but,  at  long  and  last,  I  went  in  with 
her,  a  thought  alarmed  at  what  had  happened,  and — my 
gracious !  1  there,  on  the  easy-chair,  was  our  bonny  tortoise- 
shell  cat,  Tommy,  with  the  red  morocco  collar  about  its 
neck,  bruised  as  flat  as  a  flounder,  and  as  dead  as  a  mawk  ! ! ! 

The  Deacon  had  sat  down  upon  it  without  thinking  ;  and 
the  poor  animal,  that  our  neighbours'  bairns  used  to  play 
with,  and  be  so  fond  of,  was  crushed  out  of  life  without  a 
cheep.  The  thing,  doubtless,  was  not  intended,  but  it  gave 
Nanse  and  me  a  very  sore  heart. 
5* 


LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCM 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  RESURRECTION  MEN, 

Iflow  then  was  the  Devil  drest  1 
*  He  was  in  his  Sunday's  best; 

His  coat  was  red,  and  his  breeches  were  blue, 
With  a  hole  behind  where  his  tail  came  through. 
Over  the  hill,  and  over  the  dale, 

And  he  went  over  the  plain  ; 
And  backward  and  forward  he  switch'd  his  tail, 

As  a  gentleman  switches  his  cane. 

SOUTHEY  ET  COLERIDGE. 

About  this  time  there  arose  a  great  sough  and  surmise, 
that  some  loons  were  playing  false  with  the  kirkyard,  howk- 
tng  up  the  bodies  from  their  damp  graves,  and  harling  them 
away  to  the  College.  Words  cannot  describe  the  fear,  and 
the  dool,  and  the  misery  it  caused.  All  flocked  to  the  kirk- 
yett ;  and  the  friends  of  the  newly  buried  stood  by  the  mools, 
which  were  yet  dark,  and  the  brown  newly-cast  divots,  that 
had  not  yet  taken  root,  looking,  with  mournful  faces,  to 
descry  any  tokens  of  sinking  in. 

I'll  never  forget  it.  I  was  standing  by  when  three  young 
lads  took  shools,  and,  lifting  up  the  truff,  proceeded  to  houk 
down  the  coffin,  wherein  they  had  laid  the  gray  hairs  of  their 
mother.  They  looked  wild  and  bewildered  like,  and  the 
glance  o£  their  een  was  like  that  of  folk  out  of  a  mad-house; 
and  none  dared  in  the  world  to  have  spoken  to  them.  They 
did  not  even  speak  to  one  another  ;  but  wrought  on  with  a 
great  hurry,  till  the  spades  struck  on  the  coffin  lid — which 
was  broken.  The  dead-claiths  were  there  huddled  together 
in  a  nook,  but  the  dead  was  gone.  I  took  hold  of  Willie 
Walker's  arm,  and  looked  down.  There  was  a  cold  sweat 
all  over  me  ;  losh  me  !  but  I  was  terribly  frighted  and 
eerie.  Three  more  were  opened,  and  all  just  alike  ;  s*vc 
and  except  that  of  a  wee  unkirstened  wean,  which  was  oft" 
bodily,  coffin  and  all. 

There  was  a  burst  of  righteous  indignation  throughout 
the  parish  ;  nor  without  reason.  Tell  me  that  doctors  and 
graduates  must  have  the  dead  ;  but  tell  it  not  to  Mansie 


THE   RESURRECTION   ME2f.  5« 

Wauch,  that  our  hearts  must  be  trampled  in  the  mire  oi' 
scorn,  and  our  best  Feelings  laughed  at,  in  order  that  a  bruise 
may  be  properly  plastered  up,  or  a  sore  head  cured.  Verily, 
the  remedy  is  worse  than  the  disease. 

But  what  remead  ?  It  was  to  watch  in  the  session-house, 
with  loaded  guns,  night  about,  three  at  a  time.  I  never 
liked  to  go  into  the  kirkyard  after  darkening,  let-a-be  to  sit, 
there  through  a  long  winter  night,  windy  and  rainy  it  may 
be,  with  none  but  the  dead  around  us.  Save  us  !  it  was  an 
unco  thought,  and  garred  all  my  flesh  creep  ;  but  the  cause 
was  gude — my  corruption  was  raised — and  I  was  determined 
not  to  be  daunted. 

I  counted  and  counted,  but  the  dread  day  at  length  came, 
and  I  was  summoned.  .  All  the  livelong  afternoon,  when 
%ca'ing  the  needle  upon  the  board,  I  tried  to  whistle  Jenny 
Nettles,  Niel  Gow,  and  other  funny  tunes,  and  whiles  crooned 
to  myself  between  hands  ;  but  my  consternation  was  visible, 
and  all  would  not  do. 

It  was  in  November ;  and  the  cold  glimmering  sun  sank 
behind  the  Pentlands.  The  trees  had  been  shorn  of  their 
frail  leaves,  and  the  misty  night  was  closing  fast  in  upon  the 
dull  and  short  day  ;  but  the  candles  glittered  at  the  shop 
windows,  and  leery-light-the  lamps  was  brushing  about  with 
his  ladder  in  his  oxter,  and  bleezing  flamboy  sparking  out 
behind  him.  I  felt  a  kind  of  qualm  of  faintness  and  down- 
sinking  about  my  heart  and  stomach,  to  the  dispelling  of 
which  I  took  a  thimbleful  of  spirits,  and  tying  my  red 
comforter  about  my  neck,  I  marched  briskly  to  the  cession- 
house.  A  neighbour,  (Andrew  Goldie,  the  pensioner,)  lent 
me  his  piece,  and  roaded  it  to  me.  He  took  tent  that  it  was 
only  half-cock,  and  I  wrapped  a  knapkin  round  the  dog-head, 
for  it  was  raining.  No  being  well  acquaint  with  guns,  i  kept 
the  muzzle  aye  away  from  me  ;  as  it  is  every  man's  duty  not 
to  throw  his  precious  life  into  jeopardy. 

A  furm  was  set  before  the  session-house  fire,  which  bleczed 
brightly,  nor  had  I  any  thought  that  such  an  unearthly  place 
could  have  been  made  to  look  half  so  comfortable  either  by 
coal  or  candle  ;  so  my  spirits  rose  up  as  if  a  weight  had 
been  taken  off  them,  and  I  wondered,  in  my  bravery,  that  a 
man  like  me  could  be  afraid  of  anything.  Nobody  was 
there  but  a  touzy,  ragged,  halflins  callant  of  thirteen,  (for  I 
speired  his  age,)  with  a  desperate  dirty  face,  and  long  carroty 
Mir,  tearing  a  speldrin  with  his  teeth,  which  looked  long 


56  LIFE    OP  MANS1E   WAUCH. 

and  sharp  enough,  and  throwing  the  skin  and  lugs  into  the 
fire. 

We  sat  for  mostly  an  hour  together,  cracking  the  best  way 
we  could  in  sic  a  place  ;  nor  was  anybody  more. likely  to 
cast  up.  The  night  was  now  pitmirk  ;  the  wind  soughed 
amid  the  head-stones  and  railings  of  the  gentry,  (tor  we 
maun   a'  dee,)  and  the  black  corbies  in  the  steeple-holes 

tackled  and  era  wed  in  a  fearsome  manner.  All  at  once  we 
eard  a  lonesome  sound  ;  and  my  heart  began  to  play  pit- 
pat — my  skin  grew  all  rough,  like  a  pouked  chicken — and  1  lelt 
as  if  1  did  not  know  what  was  the  matter  with  me.  It  was 
only  a  false  alarm,  however,  being  the  warning  of  the  clock  ; 
and,  in  a  minute  or  two  thereafter,  the  bell  struck  ten.  Oh, 
but  it  was  a  lonesome  and  dreary  sound!  Every  chap 
went  through  my  breast  like  the  dunt  of  a  fore-hammer. 

Then  up  and  spak  the  red-headed  laddie  : — "  Jt  'sno  fair  ; 
anither  should  hae  come  by  this  time.  1  wad  rin  awa  hame, 
only  I'm  frightened  to  gang  out  my  lane. — Do  ye  think  the 
doup  of  that  candle  wad  carry  i'  my  cap  f " 

**  Na,  na,  lad  ;  we  maun  bide  here,  as  we  are  here  now — 
Leave  me  alane  ?  Lord  sate  us  ;  and  the  yett  lockit,  and  the 
bethrel  sleeping  wT  the  key  in  his  breek  pouches  ! — We 
canna  win  out  now  though  we  would,"  answered  I,  trying  to 
look  brave,  though  half  frightened  out  of  my  seven  senses  j 
— "  Sit  down,  sit  down;  lVe  baith  whisky  and  porter  wi' 
Die.  Hae,  man,  there  's  a  cawker  to  keep  your  heart  warm ; 
and  sit  down  that  bottle,"  quoth  I,  wiping  the  sawdust  affn't 
with  my  hand,  "  to  get  a  toast ;  l'se  warrant  it  for  Deacon 
JafFrey's  best  brown  stout." 

The  wind  blew  higher,  and  like  a  hurricane ;  the  rain 
began  to  fall  in  perfect  spouts  ;  the  auld  kirk  rumbled  and 
rowed,  and  made  a  sad  soughing  ;  and  the  bourtrie  behind 
the  house,  where  auld  Cockburn  that  cut  his  throat  was 
buried,  creaked  and  crazed  in  a  frightful  manner  ;  but  as  to 
the  roaring  of  the  troubled  waters,  and  the  bumming  in  the 
lum-head,  they  were  past  all  power  of  description.  To  make 
bad  worse,  just  in  the  heart  of  the  brattle,  the  grating  sound 
of  the  yett  turning  on  its  rusty  hinges  was  but  too  plainly 
heard.  W7hat  was  to  be  done  ?  I  thought  of  our  both  run- 
ning away  ;  and  then  of  our  locking  ourselves  in,  and  firing 
through  the  door  ;  but  who  was  to  pull  the  trigger  ? 

Gudeness  watch  over  us !  I  tremble  yet  when  I  think  on't. 
We  were  perfectly  between  the  de'il  and  the  deep  sea— either 


THE    KESUREECTICTN   MEN.  57 

to  standstill  and  fire  our  gun,  or  run  and  be  shot  at.  It  was 
really  a  hang  choice.  As  I  stood  swithering  and  shaking, 
the  laddie  ran  to  the  door,  and,  thrawing  round  the  key, 
clapped  his  back  to  it.  Oh  !  how  I  looked  at  him,  as  he 
stood  for  a  gliff,  like  a  magpie  hearkening  with  his  lug  cocked 
up,  or  rather  like  a  terrier  watching  a  rotten.  "  They're 
coming!  they're  coming!"  he  cried  out,  u  cock  the  piece, 
ye  sumph  ;"  while  the  red  hair  rose  up  from  hi3  pow  like 
feathers  ;  "  they're  coming,  1  hear  them  tramping  on  the 
gravel!"  Out  he  stretched  his  arms  against  the  wall,  and 
brizzed  his  back  against  the  door  like  mad  ;  as  if  he  had 
been  Sampson  pushing  over  the  pillars  in  the  house  of  Dagon. 
"  For  tho  Lord's  sake,  prime  the  gun,"  he  cried  out,  M  or 
our  throats  will  be  cut  frae  lug  to  lug  before  we  can  cry 
Jack  Robison !  See  that  there's  priming  in  the  pan." 

I  did  the  best  I  could  ;  but  mv  whole  strength  could 
hardly  lift  up  the  piece,  which  waggled  to  and  fro  like  a 
cock's  tail  on  a  rainy  day  ;  my  knees  knocked  against  one 
another,  and  though  I  was  resigned  to  die — I  trust  I  was 
resigned  to  die — 'od,  but  it  was  a  frightful  thing  to  be  out  of 
one's  bed,  and  to  be  murdered  in  a  session-house,  at  the 
dead  hour  of  night,  by  unearthly  resurrection-men,  or  rather 
let  me  call  them  deevils  incarnate,  wrapt  up  in  dreadnoughts, 
with  blacked  faces,  pistols,  big  sticks,  and  other  deadly 
weapons. 

A  snuff,  snuffing  was  heard  ;  and,  through  below  the 
door,  I  saw  a  pair  of  glancing  black  e'en.  'Od,  but  my 
heart  nearly  louped  off  the  bit— ^-a  snouff,  and  a  gur-gurring, 
and  over  all  the  plain  tramp  of  a  man's  heavy  tackets  and 
cuddy  heels  among  the  gravel.  Then  came  a  great  slap  like 
thunder  on  the  wall ;  and  the  laddie,  quitting  his  grip,  fell 
down,  crying,  "  Fire,  fire  ! — murder!  holy  murder!" 

"  Wha's  there  ?"  growled  a  deep  rough  voice  ;  "  open. 
I'm  a  freend." 

I  tried  to  speak,  but  could  not  ;  something  like  a  ha'penny 
row  was  sticking  in  my  throat,  so  I  tried  to  cough  it  up,  but 
it  would  not  come.  "  Gie  the  pass  word  then,"  said  the 
laddie,  stirring  as  if  his  een  would  loup  out ;  "  gie  the  pass- 
word !" 

First  came  a  loud  whistle,  and  then  "  Copmahagen," 
answered  the  voice.  Oh  !  what  a  relief!  The  laddie  started 
up,  like  one  crazy  with  joy.  •<•  Ou  !  ou  !"  cried  he,  thraw- 
ing round  the  key,  and  rubbing  his  hands  ;  "  by  jingo,  it's 
the  bethel — it's  the  bethel — it's  auld  Isaac  himsell." 


58  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

First  rushed  in  the  dog,  and  then  Isaac,  with  his  glazed 
hat,  slouched  over  his  brow,  and  his  horn  bowet  glimmering 
by  his  knee.  "  Has  the  French  landed,  do  ye  think  ?  Losh 
keep  us  a\"  said  he,  with  a  smile  on  his  half-idiot  face,  (for 
he  was  a  kind  of  a  sort  of  a  natural,  with  an  infirmity  in  his 
leg,)  "  'od  sauf  us,  man,  put  by  your  gun.  Ye  dinna  mean 
to  shoot  me,  do  ye?  What  are  ye  about  here  with  the  door 
lockit  ?  I  just  keppit  four  resurrectioners  louping  over  the 
wall." 

"  Crude  guide  us,"  I  said,  taking  a  long  breath  to  drive  the 
blood  from  my  heart,  and  something  relieved  by  Isaac's 
company — "  Come  now,  Isaac,  ye're  just  gieing  us  a  fright. 
Isn't  that  true,  Isaac  ?" 

"Yes,  I'm  joking — and  what  for  no? — but  they  might 
have  been,  for  onything  ye  wad  hae  hindered  them  to  the 
contrair,  I'm  thinking.  Na,  na,  ye  maunna  lock  the  door; 
that's  no  fair  play." 

When  the  door  was  put  ajee,  and  the  furm  set  forenent 
the  fire,  I  gave  Isaac  a  dram  to  keep  his  heart  up  on  such  a 
cauld  stormy  night.  'Od,  but  he  was  a  droll  fellow,  Isaac. 
He  sung  and  leuch  as  if  he  had  been  boozing  in  Luckie 
Thampson's,  with  some  of  his  drucken  cronies.  Feint  a 
hair  cared  he  about  auld  kirks,  or  kirkyards,  or  vouts,  or 
through  stanes,  or  dead  folk  in  their  winding-sheets,  with 
the  wet  grass  growing  over  them :  and  at  last  I  began  to 
brighten  up  a  wee  myself;  so  when  he  had  gone  over  a  good 
few  funny  stories,  I  said  to  him,  quoth  I,  "•  Mony  folk,  I 
daresay,  mak  mair  noise  about  their  sitting  up  in  a  kirkyard 
than  its  a'  worth.     There's  naething  here  to  harm  us  ?" 

" 1  besr  to  differ  wi' ye  there,"  answejed  Isaac,  taking  out 
his  horn  mull  from  his  coat  pouch,  and  tapping  on  the  lid  in 
a  queer  style — "  I  could  gie  anither  version  of  that  story. 
Did  ye  no  ken  of  three  young  doctor- — Eirish  students — 
alang  with  some  resurrectioners,  as  waff  and  wrld  as  them- 
sells,  firing  shottie  for  shottie  with  the  guard  at  Kirkma- 
brecke,  and  lodging  three  slugs  in  ane  of  their  backs,  forbye 
firing  a  ramrod  through  anither  ane's  hat  V 

This  was  a  wee  alarming — "  No,"  quoth  I ;  "  no,  Isaac 
man  ;  I  never  heard  of  it  " 

"  But,  let  alane  resurrectioners,  do  ye  no  think  there  is 
sic  a  thing  as  ghaists  ?  Guide  ye,  man,  my  granny  could  hae 
telled  as  muckle  about  them  as  would  have  filled  a  minister's 
sermons  from  June  to  January." 


THE   RESURRECTION   MEN.  59 

«  Kay— kay—that's  ali  buff,"  I  said.  M  Are  there  nae 
cutty-stool  businesses — are  there  nae  marriages  gaun,  Isaac?" 
for  I  was  keen  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Ye  may  kay — kay,  as  ye  like,  though  ;  I  can  just  tell  ye 
this: — Ye'll  mind  auld  Armstrong  with  his  leather  breeks, 
and  the  brown  three-story  wig — him  that  was  the  grave- 
digger  ?  Weel,  he  saw  a  ghaist  wi'  his  leeving  een — 
aye,  and  what's  better,  in  this  very  kirkyard  too.  It  was  a 
cauld  spring  morning,  and  daylight  just  coming  in,  whan  he 
cam  to  the  yett  yonder,  thinking  to  meet  his  man,  paidling 
Jock — but  he  had  sleepit  in,  and  was  na  there.  Weel,  to 
the  wast  corner  ower  yonder  he  gaed,  and  throwing  his  coat 
ower  a  headstane,  and  his  hat  on  the  tap  o't,  he  dug  away 
with  his  spade,  casting  out  the  mools-  and  the  coffin  handles, 
and  the  green  banes,  and  sic  like,  till  he  stoppit  a  wee  to  tak 
breath. —  What!  are  ye  whistling  to  yoursell  ?"  quoth  Isaac 
to  me,  "and  no  hearing  what's  God's  fruth  ?" 

"Ou,  aye,"  said  I ;  "  but  ye  didria  tell  me  if  onybody  was 
cried  last  Sunday  ?" — I  would  have  given  every  farthing  I 
had  made  by  the  needle,  to  have  been  at  that  blessed  time  in 
my  bed  with  my  wife  and  wean.  Ay  ;  how  1  was  grumg !  I 
mostly  chacked  off  my  tongue  in  chittering. — But  all  would 
not  do. 

"  Weel,  speaking  of  ghaists — when  he  was  resting  on  his 
spade  he  looked  up  to  the  steeple,  to  see  what  o'clock  it  was, 
wondering  what  way  Jock  hadna  come,  when  lo !  and  behold, 
in  the^lang  diced  window  of  the  kirk  yonder,  he  saw  a  lady 
•  a'  in  w(iite,  with  her  hands  clasped  thegither,  looking  out  to 
the  kirk  yard  at  him. 

"  He  couldna  believe  his  een,  so  he  rubbit  them  with  his 
sark  sleeve,  but  she  was  still  there  bodily ;  and,  keeping 
ae  ee  on  her,  and  anither  on  his  road  to  the  yett,  he  drew 
his  coat  and  hat  to  him  below  his  arm,  and  aff  like  mad, 
throwing  the  shool  half-a-mile  ahint  him.  Jock  fand  that ; 
for  he  was  coming  singing  in  at  the  yett,  when  his  maistex 
ran  clean  ower  the  tap  o'  him,  and  capsized  him  like  a  toom 
barrel ;  and  never  stoppit,  till  he  was  in  at  his  ain  house,  and 
the  door  baith  bolted  and  barred  at  his  tail. 

"Did  ye  ever  hear  the  like  of  that,  Mansie  ?  Weel,  man, 
I'll  explain  the  hale  history  of  it  to  ye.  Ye  see, — Od !  how 
sound  that  callant's  sleeping,"  continued  Isaac;  "he's 
snoring  like  a  nine  year  auld  !" 

I  was  glad  he  had  stopped,  for  I  was  like  to  sink  through 
the  ground  with  fear  ;  but  no,  it  would  not  do. 


60  LIFE   OF   3IANSIE   WAUCII. 

"  Dinna  ye  ken — sauf  us !  what  a  fearsome  night  this  is  ! 
The  trees  will  be  all  broken..  What  a  noise  in  the  lum !  I 
dare  say  there's  some  auld  hag  of  a  witch-wife  gaun  to  come  to 
rumble  doun't.  It's  no  the  first  time,  I'll  swear.  Hae  yea 
silver  sixpence  ?  Wad  ye  like  that?"  he  bawled  up  the  chim- 
ney. "  Ye'll  hae  heard,''  said  he,  u  lang  ago,  that  a  wee 
murdered  wean  was  buried — didna  ye  hear  a  voice  ? — was 
buried  below  that  corner — the  hearth-stane  there,  where  the 
laddie's  lying  on  ?" 

I  had  now  lost  my  breath,  so  that  I  could  not  stop  him. 

"  Ye  never  heard  tell  o't,  didna  ye  ?  Weel,  1'se  tell't  ye— 
Sauf  us,  what  swurls  of  smoke  coming  doun  the  chimiey — 
I  could  swear  something  no  canny's  stopping  up  the  lum 
head — gang  out  and  see  !" 

At  that  moment,  a  clap  like  thunder  was  heard — the  candle 
was  driven  over — the  sleeping  laddie  roared  "Help!"  and 
"  Murder  !"  and  "  Thieves  l"  and  as  the  furm  on  which  we 
were  sitting  played  flee  backwards,  cripple  Isaac  bellowed 
out,  "I'm  dead! — I'm  killed  ! — shot  through  the  head! — 
Oh!  oh!  oh!" 

Surely  I  had  fainted  away  ;  for  when  I  came  to  myself,  I 
found  my  red  comforter  loosed;  my  face  all  wet — Isaac  rub- 
bing down  his  waistcoat  with  his  sleeve — the  laddie  swigging 
ale  out  of  a  bicker — and  the  brisk  brown  stout,  which,  by 
casting  its  cork,  had  caused  all  the  alarm — whizz — whiz/ 
whizzing  in  the  chimney  big. 


rAFFY   WITH   THE   PIGTAIL,  61 


CHAPTER  XI. 

TAFFY   WITU    THE   FIOTAU... 

In  the  sweet  shire  of  Cardigan, 

Mot  far  from  pleasant  Ivor* hall, 
An  old  man  dvrells,  a  little  man  ; 

I've  heard  he  once  was  tall. 
A  long  blue  livery  coat  has  he, 

That  's>  fuir  behind  and  fair  before  ; 
Yet,  meet  him  where  you  will,  you  s«e 

At  once  that  he  is  poor. 

WORDaWORTQ. 

It  was  a  clear  starry  night,  in  the  blasty  month  of  Janu- 
ary, 1  mind  it  well.  The  snow  had  fallen  during  the  after« 
noon  ;  or,  as  Ilenjie  came  in  crying,  that w*  the  auid  wives  o* 
rlie  norlan  sky  were  plucking"  their  geese  ;"  and  it  continued 
dim  and  dowie  till  towards  tiie  gloaming,  when,  as  tiie  road* 
side  labourers  were  dandering  home  from  their  work,  some 
with  pickaxes  and  others  with  shools,  and  just  as  our  oocks 
and  liens  were  going  into  their  beds,  poor  things,  tiie  lift 
cleared  up  to  a  sharp  freeze,  and  the  well-ordered  stars 
came  forth  glowing  over  the  blue  sky.  Between  six  and  seven 
tiie  moon  rose ;  and  I  could  not  get  my  two  'prentices  in 
tioin  the  door,  where  they  were  bickering  one  another  with 
snow  balls,  or  maybe  carhailling  the  folk  on  the  street  in 
their  idle  wantonness ;  so  I  was  obliged  for  that  night  to  disap- 
point Edie  Macfarlane  of  the  pair  of  black  spatterdashes*, 
he  was  so  anxious  to  get  finished  for  dancing  in  the  next 
day  at  Souple  Jack,  the  carpenter's  grand  penny  wedding. 

Seeing  that  little  more  good  was.  to  be  expected  till  morn- 
ing, I  came  to  the  resolution  of  shutting-in  half-an-hour  ear- 
lier than  usual  ;  so,  as  I  was  carrying  out  the  shop-shutters, 
with  my  hat  over  my  cowl,  for  it  was  desperately  sharp,  I 
mostly  in  my  hurry  knocked  down  an  auld  man,  that  was 
coming  up  to  ask  me,  "  if  1  was  Maister  Wauch,  the  tailor 
aod  furnisher." 

Having  told  him  that  I  was  myself,  instead  of  a  better ; 
and  having  asked  him  to  step  in,  that  I  might  have  a  glimpse 
6 


62  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

of  his  face  at  the  candle,  I  saw  that  he  was  a  stranger, 
dressed  in  a  droll  auld-farrant  green  livery-coat,  faced  with 
white.  His  waistcoat  was  cut  in  the  Parly-voo  fashion,  with 
long  lappels,  and  a  double  row  of  buttons  down  the  breast ; 
and  round  his  neck  he  had  a  black  corded  stock,  such  like, 
but  not  so  broad,  as  I  afterwards  wore  in  the  volunteers, 
when  drilling  under  Big  Sam.  He  had  a  well-worn  scraper 
on  his  head,  peaked  before  and  behind,  with  a  bit  crape 
knotted  round  it,  which  he  politely  took  oil,  making  a  low 
bow  ;  and  requesting  me  to  bargain  with-him  for  a  few  arti- 
cles of  grand  second-hand  apparel,  which  once  belonged  to 
his  master  that  was  deceased,  and  which  was  now  carried  by 
himself,  in  a  bundle  under  his  left  oxter. 

Happening  never  to  make  a  trade  of  dealing  in  this  line, 
and  not  very  sure  like  as  to  how  the  auld  man  might  have 
come  by  the  bundle  in  these  riotous  and  knock-him-down 
times,  I  swithered  a  moment,  giving  my  chin  a  rub,  before 
answering  ;  and  then  advised  him  to  take  a  step  in  at  his 
leisure  to  St.  Mary's  Wynd,  where  he  would  meet  in  with 
merchants  in  scores.  But  no  ;  he  seemed  determined  to 
strike  a  bargain  with  me  ;  and  1  heard  from  the  man's  spon- 
sible and  feasible  manner  of  speech, — for  lie  was  an  auld 
weather-beaten-looking  body  of  a  creature,  with  gleg  cen, 
a  cock  nose,  white  locks,  and  a  tye  behind, — that  the  clacs 
must  have  been  left  him,  as  a  kind  of  friendly  keepsake,  by 
his  master,  now  beneath  the  mools.  Thinking  by  this,  that 
if  I  got  them  at  a  wanworth,  I  might  boldly  venture  ;  I  con- 
descended to  his  loosing  down  the  bundle,  which  was  in  a 
blue  silk  napkin  with  yellow  flowers.  As  he  was  doing  this, 
he  told  me  that  he  was  on  his  way  home  from  the  north  to 
his  own  country,  which  lay  among  the  green  Welch  hills,  far 
away  ;  and  that  he  could  not  carry  much  luggage  with  him, 
as  he  was  obliged  to  travel  with  his  baggage  tied  up  in  a 
bundle,  on  the  end  of  his  walking  staff,  over  his  right  shoulder. 

Pity  me  !  what  a  grand  coat  it  was  !  I  thought  at  first  it 
must  have  been  worn  on  the  King's  own  back,  honest  man  ; 
for  it  was  made  of  green  velvet,  and  embroidered  all  round 
about — back  seams,  side  seams,  flaps,  lappels,  button-holes, 
nape  and  cuffs,  with  gold  lace  and  spangles,  in  a  manner  to 
have  dazzled  the  understanding  of  any  Jew  with  a  beard 
shorter  than  his  arm.  So,  no  wonder  that  it  imposed  on  the 
like  pf  me  ;  and  I  was  mostly  ashamed  to  make  him  an 
tfffer  for  it  of  a  crown-piece  and  a  dram.     The  waistcoat. 


TAFFY    WITH   THE    PIGTAIL.  63 

which  was  of  white  satin,  single  breasted,  and  done  up  with 
silver  tinsel  iu  a  most  beautiful  manner,  I  also  bought  from 
him  for  a  couple  of  shillings,  and  four  hanks  of  black  thread. 
Though  I  would  on  no  account  or  consideration  give  him  a 
bode  for  the  Hessian  boots,  which,  having  cuddy -heels  and 
long  silk  tossels,  were  by  far  and  away  over  grand  for  the 
like  of  a  tailor,  such  as  me,  and  fit  for  the  Sunday's  wear  of 
some  fashionable  Don  of  the  first  water.  However,  not  to 
part  'uncivilly,  and  be  as  good  as  my  word,  I  brought  ben 
Nanse's  bottle,  and  gave  him  a  cawker  at  the  shop  counter  ; 
and,  after  taking  a  thimbleful  to  myself,  to  drink  a  good  jour- 
ney to  him,  I  bade  him  take  care  of  his  feet,  as  the  causeway 
was  frozen,  and  saw  the  auld  flunkie  safely  over  the  strand 
with  a  candle. 

Ye  may  easily  conceive  that  Nanse  got  a  surprise,  when  I 
paraded  ben  to  the  room  with  the  grand  coat  and  waistcoat 
on,  holding  up  my  head,  putting  my  hands  into  the  haunch 
pockets,  and  strutting  about  more  like  a  peacock,  than  a 
douce  elder  of  Maister  Wiggie's  kirk  ;  so  just  as,  thinking 
shame  of  myself,  I  was  about  to  throw  it  off,  I  found  some- 
thing bulky  at  the  bottom  of  the  side  pocket,  which  I  dis- 
covered to  be  a  wheen  papers,  fastened  together  with  green 
tape.  Finding  they  were  written  in  a  real  neat  hand,  I  put 
on  my  spectacles,  and  sending  up  the  close  for  James  Bat- 
ter, we  sat  round  the  fireside,  and  read  away  like  nine-year  - 
aulds. 

The  next  matter  of  consideration  was,  whether  in  buying 
the  coat  as  it  stood,  the  paper  belonged  to  me,  or  the  auld 
flunkie  waiting-servant  with  the  peaked  hat.  James  and  me 
after  an  hour  and  a  half's  argle-bargleing  pro  and  con,  in  the 
way  of  parliament-house  lawyers,  came  at  last  to  be  unani- 
mously of  opinion,  that,  according  to  the  auld  Scotch  pro 
verb  of 

"  He  that  finds  keeps, 
And  he  that  loses  seeks," 

whatever  was  part  or  pendicle  of  the  coat  at  the  time  ol 
purchase,  when  it  hung  exposed  for  sale  over  the  white-headed 
Welchman's  little  finger,  became,  according  to  the  law  of 
nature  and  nations,  as  James  Batter  wisely  observed,  part 
and  pendicle  of  the  property  of  me,  Mansie  Wauch,  the 
legal  purchaser. 

Notwithstanding  all  this,  however,  I  was  not  sincerely 


€4  MFE    OF   MAXSIE    WAUCH. 

convinced  in  my  own  conscience ;  and  I  dare  say  if  tut 
creature  had  cast  up,  and  come  seeking  them  back,  I  would 
have  found  myself  bound  to  make  restitution.  This  is 
not  now  likely  to  happen  ;  for  twenty  long  years  have 
come  and  passed  away,  like  the  sunshine  of  yesterday,  and 
neither  word  nor  wittens  of  the  body  have  been  seen  or 
heard  tell  of ;  so,  according  to  the  course  of  nature,  being 
a  white-headed  auld  man,  with  a  pigtail,  when  the  bargain 
was  made,  his  dust  and  bones  have,  in  all  likelihood,  long 
ago  mouldered  down  beneath  the  green  truff  of  his  own 
mountains,  like  his  granfaither's  before  him.  This  being  the 
case,  I  daresay  it  is  the  reader's  opinion,  as  well  as  my  own, 
that  I  am  quite  at  liberty  to  make  what  use  of  them  I  like. 
Concerning  the  poem-things  that  come  first  in  hand,  I  do 
not  pretend  to  be  any  judge  ;  but  James  thinks  he  could 
scarcely  write  any  muckle  better  himself:  so  here  goes  ;  but 
I  cannot  tell  you  to  what  tune  : 


They  say  tbat  other  eyes  are  bright p 

I  see  no  eyes  like  thine, 
So  fall  of  Heaven's  serenest  light, 

lake  midnight  stars  they  shine. 

II. 

They  say  that  other  cheeks  are  fair*-* 

But  fairer  cannot  glow 
The  rosebud  in  the  morning  air, 

Or  blood  on  mountain  snow, 

III. 

Thy  voice— Oh  sweet  it  streams  to  mer 

And  charms  my  raptured  breast ; 
Like  music  on  the  moonlight  sea, 

When  waves  are  luli'd  to  rest. 

IV. 

The  wealth  of  worlds  were  vain  to  give 

Thy  sinless  heart  to  buy  ; 
Oh  I  will  bless  thee  while  I  live, 

And  love  thee  till  I  die ! 

From  this  song  it  appears  a  matter  beyond  doubt— for  I 
know  human  nature — that  the  fiunkie's  master  had,  in  his 
earlier  years,  been  deeply  in  love  with  some  beautiful  young 
>ady?  that  loved  him  again,  and  that  maybe,  with  a  bounding 


TAFFY   WITH   THE    PIGTAIL.  t>b 

and  bursting  heart,  durst  not  let  her  affection  be  shown, 
from  dread  of  her  cruel  relations,  who  insisted  on  her  mar- 
rying some  lord  or  baronet  that  she  did  not  care  one  button 
about.  If  so,  unhappy  pair,  I  pity  them !  Were  we  to 
guess  our  way  in  the  dark  a  wee  farther,  I  think  it  not  alto- 
gether unlikely,  that  he  must  have  fallen  in  with  his  sweet- 
heart abroad,  when  wandering  about  on  his  travels  ;  for  what 
follows  seems  to  come  as  it  were  from  her,  lamenting  his 
being  called  to  leave  her  forlorn,  and  return  home.  This  is 
all  merely  supposition  on  my  part,  and  in  the  antiquarian 
style,  whereby  much  is  made  out  of  little  ;  but  both  me  and 
James  Batter  are  determined  to  be  unanimously  of  this  opi- 
nion, until  otherwise  convinced  to  the  contrary.  Love  is  a 
fiery  and  fierce  passion  everywhere  ;  but  I  am  told  that  we, 
who  live  in  a  more  favoured  land,  know  very  little  of  the 
terrible  effects  it  sometimes  causes,  and  the  bloody  tragedies 
which  it  has  a  thousand  times  produced,  where  the  heart  of 
man  is  uncontrolled  by  reason  or  religion,  and  his  blood 
heated  into  a  raging  fever,  by  the  burning  sun  that  glows  in 
the  heaven  above  his  head. 

Here  follows  the  poem  of  Taffy's  master's  foreign  sweet- 
heart, which,  considering  it  to  be  a  woman's  handiwork,  is. 
I  daresay,  not  that  far  amiss. 

SONG   OF   THE    SOUTH. 


Of  all  the  garden  flowers 

The  fairest  is  the  rose  ; 
Of  winds  that  stir  the  bowers, 

Oh  !  there  is  none  that  blows 
Like  the  south — the  gentle  south— 

For  that  balmy  breeze  is  ours. 

II. 

Cold  is  the  frozen  north  ; 

In  its  stern  and  savage  mood, 
'Mid  gales,  come  drifting  forth 

Bleak  snows  and  drenching  flood : 
But  the  south — the  gentle  south, 

Thaws  to  love  the  willing  blood. 

III. 
Bethink  thee  of  the  vales, 

With  their  birds  and  blossoms  fair,- 
Of  the  darkling  nightingales, 

That  charm  the  starry  air, 
In  the  south — the  gentle  south  ; 

Ah !  oar  own  dear  home  is  therS. 

6* 


$&  LIFE    OF   MANSIK   WAUCJI  • 


IV. 


Where  doth  Beauty  brightest  glow, 
With  each  rich  and  radiant  charm, 

Eyes  of  lia;ht  and  brow  of  snow, 
Cherry  lip,  and  bogom  warm  ? 

In  the  south — the  gentle  south  ; 

There  she  waits,  and  works  her  ham 


Say,  shines  the  Star  of  Love, 

From  the  clear  and  cloudless  sky, 

The  shadowy  groves  above, 

Where  the  nestling  ringdoves  lie  ? 

Ftom  the  south — the'  gentle  south — 
Gleams  its  lone  and  lucid  eye. 


Then  turn  ye  to  the  home 

Of  your  brethren  and  your  bride ; 
Far  astray  your  steps  may  roam, 

And  more  joys  for  thee  abide, 
In  the  south— our  gentle  south,— 

Than  in  all  the  world  beside. 

Having  right  and  law  on  my  side,  as  any  man  of  judgment 
uiay  see  with  half  an  eye,  nothing  could  hinder  me,  if  I  liked. 
to  print  the  whole  bundle  ;  but,  in  the  meantime,  we  mustf 
be  satisfied  with  one  story,  which  I  have  picked  out.  All 
that  I  have  set  down  concerning  myself,  the  reader  may 
lake  on  credit,  as  open  and  even  down  truth  ;  but  as  to 
whether  the  following  story  be  true  or  false,  every  one  is  ai 
liberty  to  think  for  himself.  Unless  I  saw  a  proper  affidavit, 
I  would  not,  for  my  own  part,prin  my  faith  to  a  single  wort! 
of  it. 


THE   CUB  ATE   OF  SUVERDSIO.  67 


THE  CURATE  OF  SUVERDSIO. 

A  TALE   OF  THE   SWEDISH    REVOLUTION". 


He  says  he  lores  my  daughter  ; 
I  think  so  too  ;  for  never  gazed  the  moon 
Upon  the  water,  as  he'll  stand  and  read, 
As  'twere  my  daughter's  eyes  ;  and,  to  be  plain, 
I  think  there  is  not  half  a  kiss  to  choose, 
Who  loves  another  best. 

Winter's  Tale, 

The  ancient  Chroniclers  of  Sweden,  give  a  melancholy 
account  of  the  state  of  their  country,  under  the  oppressive 
tyranny  of  Christiern  the  Second,  King  of  Denmark,  who, 
stung  to  phrenzy  by  the  generous  spirit  of  independence 
that  actuated  the  senate,  in  opposing  the  degradations  to 
which  he  was  continually  endeavouring  to  subject  it,  gave 
reins  at  length  to  the  bloodthirstiness  of  his  disposition,  in 
the  awful  massacre  of  Stockholm. 

Before  the  perpetration  of  this  merciless  act,  which  clothed 
one  half  of  the  nation  in  the  garments  of  mourning,  and 
plunged  all  in  sorrow,  murmurs  were  heard  from  many  a 
tongue  in  many  a  quarter ;  half-stifled  imprecations  and 
threats  of  vengeance  mingling  themselves  with  the  voice  of 
lamentation  ;  and  all  seemed  only  to  await  a  signal,  looking 
around  with  impatience  for  some  one,  whose  sense  of  wrongs? 
or  natural  hardihood  might  stimulate  him  to  be  the  first  in 
throwing  down  the  gauntlet  of  defiance,  and  sounding  the 
trumpet  of  rebellion.  Yet  so  paralyzed  was  the  common 
mind,  by  the  horrid  spectacle  which  had  been  exhibited,  that 
amazement  and  terror  conspired  to  keep  all  in  check  ;  and, 
while  the  more  enterprising  began  to  regard  the  revolution 
they  meditated  as  hopeless  or  desperate,  the  more  wavering 
abandoned  the  scheme  of  taking  up  arms  altogether,  as  one 
fraught  with  utter  desolation  and  necessary  ruin. 

To  render  the  misery  of  the  country  complete,  an  immense 
number  of  names  blackened  the  roll  of  proscription.,  and 


08  LIFE   OF  MANSIE    WATJCH 

almost  certain  death  was  the  fate  of  every  fugitive  who  .suc- 
ceeded not  in  effecting  escape.  At  the  time  about  which  our 
little  tale  opens,  this  began  to  become  an  almost  impossible 
matter,  from  the  exposed  nature  of  the  country,  the  danger 
of  travelling  among  the  hills,  the  general  poverty  of  the 
peasants,  combined  with  the  dread  they  entertained  of  har- 
bouring those,  over  whose  heads  hung  the  Damoclan  sword 
of  Danish  vengeance.  The  approach  of  winter  rendered 
the  sum  of  their  miseries  complete  ;  for  what  more  dismal 
can  be  conceived  than  for  wretches  who  have  no  home,  to 
be  obliged  to  wander  over  the  frozen  hills  in  the  darkness, 
and  to  hide  among  the  forests  during  the  daylight,  subsisting 
on  whatever  means  the  chance  goodness  of  providence  might 
afford  ;  paying  when  it  was  in  their  power,  or  trusting  wA 
pennyless  poverty  to  the  gushing  forth  of  human  benevolence, 
a  spring  which,  to  the  honour  of  our  nature,  is  not  always 
frozen  up  in  the  bosom  of  man.  For  such  was  the  panic 
struck  into  all  hearts  by  the  massacre  of  the  nobility  in 
senate  assembled,  and  the  butchery  in  cold  blood  of  the 
crowds  who  thronged  the  streets  of  the  capital,  without 
respect  of  sex,  age,  or  person,  that  almost  none  on  whom 
suspicion  of  independent  principles  rested,  durst  show  their 
faces  in  the  towns,  from  fear  of  military  violence,  or  the 
hazard  of  being  informed  on,  and  delivered  up  by  the  harpies, 
in  whom  the  love  of  money  extinguished  every  nobler 
principle,  not  only  submitting  quietly  to  the  tyranny  of  Den- 
mark, but  betraying  for  wages  the  patriotic  children  of  their 
own  land. 

The  province  of  Dalecarlia,  from  its  mountainous  and 
almost  inaccessible  nature,  was  one  of  the  principal  places 
wherein  the  fugitives  sought  shelter  ;  and  not  the  less,  from 
its  being  the  last  division  of  Sweden  that  had  submitted  to 
foreign  tyranny.  The  population  was  necessarily  thin,  and 
scattered  over  a  vast  extent,  there  being  scarcely  a  place  wor- 
thy the  appellation  of  a  town,  in  the  whole  district ;  while 
the  villages  were  widely  dispersed  over  the  edges  of  the 
boundless  forests  of  pine,  birch,  and  fir,  and  over  the  banks 
of  the  lakes  and  rivers  that  intersect  the  country.  These 
villages,  moreover,  were  not  like  those  in  the  other  provinces 
of  Sweden,  under  the  control  of  some  particular  nobleman 
or  gentleman ;  but  were  governed  by  the  peasantry,  who 
exercised  among  themselves  the  right  of  choosing  governors, 
either  to  lead  them  to  the  field  of  battle,  or  to  settle  disputes 
"in  the  case  of  civil  differences.    So  high  had  they  carried 


THft  CURATE    OF  SUVEKDSIO.  Gi: 

this  spirit  of  independence,  that  no  government  durst  send 
either  troops  or  garrisons  into  this  province,  without  giving 
sufficient  pledges  to  the  natives  for  the  preservation  of  their 
immunities  ;  while,  from  the  dead  of  their  discovering  that 
obedience  on  their  part  might  be,  if  they  so  willed,  only  a 
matter  of  choice,  a  few  skins  formed  the  solitary  tax  ever 
levied  ;  and  no  attempt  at  innovation  was  ever  made  on  their 
ancient  customs  ; — being  thus  what  La  Vendee  has  been  to 
France,  or  the  Tyrol  to  Switzerland. 

It  was  towards  nightfall,  that  a  traveller  approached  the 
hamlet  of  Suverdsio,  among  these  rugged  and  sequestered 
hills.  The  sun  had  just  sunk  beneath  the  horizon,  and  the 
thick  fir  woods  that  stretched  as  far  as  the  eye  could  reach, 
over  the  mountains  and  down  into  the  valleys,  were  beginning, 
especially  in  the  lower  grounds,  to  wear  a  blue  and  sombre 
aspect.  The  clouds,  drilled  by  the  sharp  winds,  hurried  over 
to  the  west ;  and  flakes  of  snow  came  whirling  down  upon 
the  rocks,  in  the  angles  of  which  the  withered  leaves  went 
eddying  round  with  a  desolate  noise.  The  stranger  felt 
accordingly  that  it  was  no  time  to  stand  on  ceremony  ;  so, 
walking  through  the  little  grass  court  in  front  of  the  parson- 
age, a  high-roofed  antique-looking  building,  at  the  hither  ex- 
tremity of  the  little  village,  he  tapped  at  the  deep  low-browed 
door,  and  begged  quarters  for  the  night.  Fortunately  for 
the  success  of  his  request,  the  Curate  himself  chanced  to  be 
at  home ;  else  the  only  other  inmates  of  his  home — his 
pretty  daughter,  and  a  young  woman  that  attended  them — 
might  have  hesitated  about  receiving  under  the  roof,  during 
such  dangerous  times,  any  one  who  petitioned  for  what,  in 
more  peaceful  days,  no  one  within  would  have  dreamt  of 
refusing. 

Without  any  but  mere  general  questions  being  asked,  the 
evening  passed  on,  and  supper  was  spread  for  their  guest  ot 
the  best  that  the  house  afforded,  which  was  dried  deer's  flesh 
broiled,  and  a  dish  of  grout.  As  is  generally  the  case  in 
savage  or  mountainous  countries,  hospitality  was  a  virtue 
among  the  Dalecarlians,  the  neglect  of  which  infallibly 
entailed  disgrace.  But  the  Curate  was  not  of  those  who 
are  actuated  more  by  the  dread  of  displeasure  than  by  the 
delight  which  the  exercise  of  the  gentler  feelings  brings  to 
their  possessor.  Far  removed  from  ostentation  and  the 
bustle  of  active  life,  his  care  was  the  preservation  of  the 
flock,  whose  souls  had   been  consigned   to  his   keeping 


70  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 

Though  possessing  talents,  he  looked  not  around  for  the 
passing  dignities  of  this  life,  but  forward  to  the  unfading 
brilliancies  of  the  next.  The  scion  of  an  unambitious 
family,  he  had  taken  root  ia  the  family  spot — his  father  and 
his  grandfather  having  preceded  hirn  in  the  same  cure  ;  and 
already  the  silver  hairs  of  age  were  mingling  with  the  natural 
black,  to  warn  him  that  another  generation  was  springing  up 
around  him,  before  which  his  own  must  necessarily  pass 
away.  Yet  what  needed  he  to  care  for  a  wider  sphere,  when 
all  that  he  bore  regard  to  in  life  were  around  him, — his 
beloved,  and  loving  flock — his  beautiful  and  dutiful  daughter — 
the  mossgrown  tombs  of  his  fathers, — and  the  more  recent  and 
carefully  preserved  grave  of  his  wife.  This  last  relic  was  not 
the  one  that  had  least  influence  over  his  mind  in  knitting  it 
to  the  loneliness  of  Suverdsio  ;  for  to  Grethe  Hannson  he 
had  been  early  attached  ;  he  had  mawied  her  in  pure  love, 
and  had  lived  with  her  in  perfect  happiness,  till  the  arm  of 
death  had  been  suddenly  outstretched  between  them,  leaving 
him,  while  yet  in  the  maturity  of  life,  a  mournful  widower. 
But  she  had  not  all  perished  ;  for  a  daughter,  the  very 
image  of  her  whom  heaven  had  taken  away,  grew  up  at  his 
feet,  and  soothed  his  solitary  hours ; — while  sorrow  at  length 
gradually  softening  down  into  resignation,  he  looked  abroad 
on  nature  with  a  more  cheerful  eye,  delighting  in  the  society 
of  a  child,  whose  buoyant  disposition  filled  his  solitude  with 
delight,  and  rendered  even  the  bare  rocks  around  him  a  type 
of  paradise.  So  much  we  find  is  happiness  the  product  of 
our  own  souls. 

When  supper  was  over,  and  the  crescent  moon  shown 
down  on  the  dewy  window-sill,  the  daughter  retired  from 
table,  leaving  her  father  to  entertain  their  guest,  and  enjoy 
his  conversation.  She  went  into  the  adjoining  kitchen, 
where  by  the  light  of  a  lamp,  her  servant,  or  rather  female 
companion,  was  busied  in  knitting  ;  and  seating  herself  by 
the  fire,  opened  a  book  of  old  national  songs  and  stories, 
which  she  took  an  especial  delight  in  conning  over,  as  her 
young  fancy  rioted  among  the  wars  and  loves,  and  supersti- 
tions of  the  olden  time  She  was  in  the  act  of  reading  one 
of  the  legends  relating  to  Holger  Danske,  the  great  ogre  of 
northern  romance,  and  her  friend  Katherine  sate  listening  in 
delighted  attention.  The  wind  sighed — but  only  from 
without ;  the  fagots  crackled  ;  the  kitten  gambolled  on  the 
hearth*  and  all  was  cheerful,  when  Katherine  stopped  her  by 


THE    CURATE   OP   SUVERDSIO.  71 

putting  her  finger  on  her  arm,  saying,  "  Hist — did  you  not 
hear  something  ?" 

On  listening  a  moment,  they  heard  louder  words  than 
those  of  ordinary  talk,  proceeding  from  the  room  wherein 
were  the  Curate  and  his  guest  ; — ever  and  anon  the  tread 
of  keU  as  some  one  leisurely  measured  the  apartment ; — and 
then  a  hushing  sound,  as  if  silence  had  been  imposed  on 
their  conversation,  from  the  probability  of  its  being  over- 
heard. 

Margaret,  whose  love  for  her  father  was  surpassing,  was 
not  a  little  anxious  in  mind,  especially  as  the  person  she  had 
admitted  was  a  perfect  stranger,  and  might  conceal  designs 
under  specious  appearances,  which  in  the  existing  so  troubled 
state  of  the  country,  might  eventually  be  calculated  to  bring 
them  into  distress.  Personal  harm  to  her  parent  she  dreaded 
none — for  beholding  the  reverence  in  which  he  was  univer- 
sally held,  and  the  respect  paid  to  his  every  word  and  action, 
her  innocence  imagined  that  the  fame  of  his  virtues  and 
sanctity  pervaded  the  world, — and  that  the  injuring  a  single 
hair  of  his  head  would  be  regarded  as  an  atrocity  amounting 
almost  to  sacrilege.  Above  her  father  she  seemed  always  to 
behold  the  arm  of  protecting  omnipotence  stretched  out ;  and 
rejoiced  in  the  inward  contidance,  that  no  breathing  creature 
could  harbour  a  malicious  design  against  one,  the  sound  of 
whose  name  was  wafted  like  a  healing  balsam  to  the  cottager 
by  his  valley  fireside,  and  to  the  solitary  mountaineer,  watch- 
ing his  straggled  flocks  on  the  hill  of  storms. 

A  short  time  elapsed,  in  which  some  feeling  of  suspense 
was  indeed  predominant ;  but,  at  length,  the  door  opening, 
the  Curate  was  seen  standing  in  the  threshold  with  a  light  in 
his  hand  ;  and  he  called  to  Margaret  to  bring  him  the  keys 
of  the  church  and  his  hat. 

The  stranger  followed,  muffled  up  in  a  large  woollen  cloak 
with  whjch  he  had  been  supplied,  and  carrying  over  his  arm 
a  coverlet,  which  Margaret  had  brought  at  the  command  of 
her  father.  The  Curate  led  the  way  with  the  large  rusty 
keys  of  the  church  in  one  hand,  and  a  spacious  circular  horn 
lantern  in  the  other.  The  night  was  still  gusty,  and  scattery 
white  clouds  were  fleeing  like  evil  spirits  across  the  sky, 
dimming  the  radiance  of  the  declining  moon.  Having 
opened  a  postern  door,  which  led  through  a  small  garden,  at 
the  foot  of  which  rippled  a  clear  streamlet  amid  its  bordering 
willows,  and  crossed  a  narrow  wooden  bridge,  whose  whiten- 


72  LIFE   OF   MAXSIE    WAUCH. 

ed  planks  glittered  with  tbe  sparry  lustre  of  hoar-frost,  they 
found  themselves  on  the  pathway  that  terminated  at  the 
neighbouring  church. 

The  church  itself  was  an  old  fantastic-looking  Gothic 
structure,  of  inconsiderable  extent,  with  a  conical  spire  at 
the  western  angle,  buttressed  walls,  with  oblong  diced 
windows  in  the  inter-spaces,  and  a  large  low-browed  door 
rti  the  eastern  gable.  All  around  wore  f&D  melancholy 
aspect  of  hoar  antiquity  ;  and,  amid  a  scene  so  solitary  and 
deserted,  life  and  living  things  seemed  to  have  passed  away, 
and  the  sharp-homed  moon  looked  as  if  setting  in  the  last 
night  of  the  world.  Every  thing  was  silent,  except  the 
.savage  winds,  tossing  in  transitory  gusts  the  dry  branches  of 
the  black  pines,  or  moaning  with  unearthly  voices  through 
the  crevices  of  the  gray  building, — whose  shadow,  falling 
like  a  black  mantle  over  the  silent  field  of  graves,  might 
bave  shaped  it  out  to  the  eye  of  fancy  as  Loke,  or  some  of 
the  other  monstrous  impersonations  of  the  Scandinavian  my- 
f hology,  keeping  guard,  with  malignant  scowl,  over  a  region 
desecrated  to  his  dominion. 

The  Vicar  led  his  guest  through  the  body  of  the  building 
into  the  sacristy,  where  was  a  small  tire-place,  supplied  with 
dry  fagots  ready  to  be  lighted.  The  blankets  were  .'spread 
uut  over  some  deal  seats,  which  made  a  tolerable  substitute 
for  a  bedstead.  Jn  a  little  while  the  hearth  crackled  and 
began  to  blaze  cheerily,  lighting  up  the  gloomy  walls,  and 
dispelling  the  damp,  mouldy  smell  of  the  atmosphere,  while 
the  stranger  began  to  feel  himself  in  a  situation  more  secure 
and  comfortable  than  he  had  experienced  for  a  considerable 
time  before.  So  when  the  Curate,  after  some  little  stay  and 
conversation,  wished  him  a  good  night,  and  locked,  one  after 
another,  the  great  creaking  doors  behind  him,  he  wrapped 
him  in  his  coverlet,  and  lay  down,  glad,  after  the  fatigues  of 
his  many  wanderings,  to  enjoy  a  sound  and  refreshing  slum- 
ber, and  little  scrupulous  where  that  slumber  visited  him. 

The  superstitions  of  the  dark  ages,  notwithstanding  the  en- 
lightening influence  of  Christianity,  still  sullenly  brooded  over 
the  remote  districts  of  the  country  ;  and  the  peasantry  were 
yet  almost  univerally  governed  by  the  belief  in  omens  and  pre- 
sentiments, and  the  visitations  of  disembodied  spirits  ;  to  say 
nothing  of  the  olden  mythological  traditions,  whereby  every 
Vale  and  hill  had  its  legend  of  supernatural  dread.  The 
shepherd  and  the  huntsman  knew  well  the  Elle  people,  wh« 


THE   CURATE   OF  SUVERDSIO.  73 

dwell  in  the  Elle  moors,  bathing  in  the  yellow  flood  of  moon 
beams;  and  had  often  heard  the  fair  young  Elle  women  play- 
ing on  their  magical  stringed  instruments,  to  entice  the  un* 
wary  to  destruction.  Often  had  they  seen  the  malignant 
Trolls  gambolling  in  rings  on  the  green  straths,  with  their 
gray  coats,  and  tali  peaked  red  caps  ;  and,  on  awakening  i& 
the  morning,  had  discovered,  with  pleased  surprise,  that  the 
industrious  *;is  had  put  the  whole  house  in  order.  But  to 
sleep  in  a  church — a  solitary  church  surrounded  with  graves 
— companionless  and  alone ! — no  such  adventurous  thought 
could  have  sustained  itself  in  the  boldest  of  their  bosoms* 
Well  did  they  know  of  spectres  that  held  nightly  conclave 
there ;  and  even  should  they  escape  these,  was  there  riot  the 
awful  Kirkegrim,  who  had  his  continual  home  in  the  sanc- 
tuary, and  would  freeze  the  blood  in  the  veins  of  any  one 
foolhardy  enough  to  be  the  midnight  guest  of  such  a  land- 
lord. Not  so  judged  our  stranger,  or  if  feelings  like  these 
ever  crossed  his  mind,  the  remembrance  of  more  imminent 
dangers,  or  the  strong  opiate  of  fatigue,  thoroughly  quenched 
and  overcame  them.  Though  susceptible,  his  mind  Was  not 
of  that  morbidly  irritable  kind  which  allows  itself  to  be  borne 
down  with  the  pressure  of  imaginary  horrors.  He  had 
braved  actual  risks  ;  and  endured  bodily  hardships  too  heavily 
and  often,  to  stoop  down  to  the  dominion  of  fancy  ;  while 
his  mind,  enlightened  by  education,  had  shut  itself  up  to 
feelings  that  yet  were  wildly  alive  in  the  bosoms  of  the  igno- 
rant and  simple.  His  thoughts  were  of  another  cast ;  his 
fears  were  of  a  higher  kind.  His  kindred  had  been  mown 
down  by  the  scythe  of  the  tyrant ;  and  he  felt  with  a  burning 
eagerness  the  miserable  degradation  of  his  native  country. 
Yet  as  these  thoughts  and  feelings  passed  less  actively 
through'  his  mind,  he  sunk  into  profound  repose  ;  and  his 
dreams,  if  he  had  any,  were  more  soothing  and  pleasant  tha» 
he  had  been  lately  accustomed  to. 

When  the  Curate  approached  his  own  door,  he  found  hfe 
child  anxiously  awaiting  him  in  the  door-way  ;  and,  as  she 
took  the  light  from  him,  she  said,  tenderly,  "  Bless  thee,  my 
father.  Oh,  how  glad  am  I  that  you  have  come  safe  back 
to  us  !" 

"  Margaret,"  replied  the  Curate,  taking  her  by  the  hand, 
"  Margaret,  my  dear  child,  there  needed  no  such  violent 
expression  of  affection.  I  have  been  running  no  risks.  I 
have  been  encountering  no  dangers,  farther  than  showing  e 

7 


74  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

noble  houseless  fellow-creature  to  a  very  miserable  bed- 
chamber :  but  it  is  the  best,  at  least,  the  securest,  we  have 
to  offer.  May  he  have  a  sound  sleep.  But  hearken  to 
me — "  and  so  saying  he  preceded  her  into  the  parlour. 

"  Well,  father  ?" 

"  While  that  stranger  is  in  our  keeping,"  said  the  Curate, 
"  the  utmost  secrecy  must  be  preserved.  Hint  not  of  hav- 
ing seen  any  one — mention  not  to  a  creature  that  we  have 
a  strange  man  in  hiding.  Would  that  I  could  do  him  a  ser- 
vice :  his  cause — our  cause,  for  it  is  the  cause  of  heaven 
and  humanity — demands  it ;  and,  Margaret,  as  I  am  often 
called  on  holy  errands  from  home,  great  part  of  the  duty 
of  attending  upon  him,  and  supplying  his  necessary  wants, 
may  devolve  on  thee  ;  for  I  would  not  for  a  world's  wealth 
.that -" 

"  Oh,  assuredly,  father !"  answered  Margaret,  kindled  as 
it  were  by  a  sudden  emotion,  whose  glow  lighted  up  her 
beautiful  features.  "  I  trust  you  shall  never  find  me  wanting 
in  charity  to  the  distressed." 

"  Call  it  not  charity,  daughter !"  said  the  Curate.  "It 
is,  in  this  case  especially,  duty, — imperative  duty.  Know 
you  that  our  guest  is  one  of  the  persecuted  patriots — one  of 
the  men  of  whom  our  dastardly  tameness  is  unworthy  !" 

At  mention  of  these  words  her  cheek  paled;  and  she 
pressed  her  hand  to  her  side,  as  if  some  pain, at  her  heart 
impeded  her  breathing,  which,  in  a  moment  after,  heaved 
her  bosom  more  tumultuously.  "  Sure,  then,  father,  he 
does  not  come  from  this  quarter  of  the  land,"  she  said  ;  "  at 
least,  I  do  not  remember  having  ever  seen  him  before  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  dare  say  not,"  was  the  reply.  "  But,  whether 
stranger  or  not,  you  know  your  duty  ;  and  I  need  not  repeat 
my  instructions  to  you.  Say  nothing  on  the  subject  to  any 
one  ;  arid  see  that  you  have  breakfast  ready  for  me  betimes 
to  carry  him  in  the  morning  ;  for  not  kings  themselves,  nor 
even  enthusiasts,  can  live  entirely  on  air.  See  then  that 
you  mind,  child." 

"  It  was  lucky,  father,"  said  Margaret,  "  that  he  came 
not  hither  to  us  sooner.     If  he  had  been  in  the  house  the»v 
other  day,  when  the  wild  Copenhagen  horsemen  came  rum- 
maging about,  turning  the  world  upside  down,  perhaps, — 
but  there  is  no  saying !" 

"  That  is  the  most  inconclusive  remark,  Margaret,  that 
ever  flowed  from  the  lip  of  man  or  maiden,"  said  the  Curate, 


THE  CURATE   OP  SUVERDSIO.  75 

smiling.  "  If  you  had  been  living  at  the  time  of  the  flood, 
with  Noah  and  Shem,  then,  perhaps, — but  there  is  no 
saying !"  ♦ 

"  Ah,  father,  you  are  hard  upon  me  ;  for  you  know  he 
might  have  been  taken, — dragged  from  our  hearth, — and 
hanged  on  the  first  tree  :  as  was  done  with  Ulric  Staaden's 
lodger  the  other  week." 

"  Well,  Margaret,' '  said  the  Curate,  "  I  heartily  rejoice 
with  you  that  he  has  thus  far  escaped  them  ;  and  let  us  hope 
the  best  for  the  future." 

"  Did  he  not  mention  Regner  Beron  ?"  added  Margaret, 
with  somewhat  of  a  sheepish  look,  as  if  the  question  did 
some  little  violence  to  her  bashfulness.  "  Ah,  father,  you 
might  have  asked  something  about  him — you  know  that  he 
is  not  unrelated  to  us  by  blood.  That  he  was  born  in  our 
district,  and  was  my  playmate,  when  we  were  young,  very 
young,  and  happy  creatures.  To  be  sure  now  he  is  a  sol- 
dier— or  lately  was — and  it  is  difficult  to  say  for  whom,  or 
against  whom  he  carries  arms.  I  hope,  for  old  acquaintance 
sake,  that  heaven  has  directed  him  !" 

"  Tuts,  child,"  said  the  Curate  ;  "  have  you  not  forgotten 
that  idle  forester  yet  ?  It  were  better  for  him  to  have  kept 
at  shooting  his  snipes  and  woodcocks,  his  white  hares  and 
brown  foxes,  than  to  have  taken  up  a  trade  about  which  he 
knew  less  ;  when  his  only  likely  reward  was  the  getting  his 
neck  in  jeopardy,  whichever  way  he  decided.  Don't  you 
think  so  ?" 

"  Then  you  think  he  did  wrong,  father  ?" 

"  Come,  come,"  said  the  Curate,  as  he  turned  from  her 
with  a  smile  ;  "  'tis  but  an  hour  from  midnight ;  let  the 
household  prepare  for  rest,— and  let  us  mind  our  own  mat- 
ters, leaving  others  to  judge  for  themselves  ;  and,  commit- 
ting the  care  of  our  state  to  him,  who  sent  the  ravens  to 
Elijah,  and  armed  the  pebble  with  destruction,  that,  slung 
from  the  arm  of  a  shepherd  boy,  smote  the  forehead  of  the 
deriding  Philistine." 

If  the  sleep  of  the  stranger  in  the  chapel,  surrounded  with 
many  a  ghastly  monument  of  human  decay,  was  soothing 
and  sound,  full  of  refreshment,  that  of  Margaret,  in  the  en- 
dearing home  of  her  parent,  was  far  from  being  so.  She 
now  dreamt  of  the  stranger, — of  his  tall  and  portly  appear- 
ance,— of  the  impressive  dignity  of  his  countenance,  un- 
dimmed  by  the  cloud  that  overhung  his  brow, — of  the  mys- 


76  LIFE   OF   MANS1E   WAUCH. 

terious  altercation,  for  so  it  seemed,  with  her  father, — and 
of  his  sequestered  abode  in  the  old  church.  Now  she  dreamt 
that  Regner  Beron  was  returned  to  the  home  of  his  child- 
hood ;  and  that  she  wandered  with  him  amid  the  woods, 
beside  the  old  castle  of  his  ancestors,  on  whose  tall,  gray 
tower,  as  of  yore,  the  wall  flower  sprinkled  its  yellow  blos- 
soms, and  the  wild  pigeons  cooed,  basking  themselves  in 
the  pleasant  sunshine.  Anon,  she  thought  that  she  stood 
by  her  own  door,  in  the  mellow  glow  of  autumnal  evening, 
watching  his  return  from  his  sylvan  sports,  with  his  heavy 
game-pouch  at  his  side,  his  gun  slung  over  his  shoulder,  and 
his  faithful  black  hound,  Grotten,  trudging  behind  him. — 
Again,  the  vision  changing,  she  sate  with  him  in  her  father's 
church,  while  now  and  then  his  eloquent  glances  told  her, 
that  her  image  divided  the  empire  of  his  thoughts  with  better 
things  ;  while,  suddenly  the  figures  dying  away,  she  beheld 
him  with  his  sword  buc-kled  upon  his  side,  and  his  staff  in 
his  hand,  as  on  that  morning  when  he  bade  adieu  to  her  at 
the  door  of  her  home,  and  lingered  with  the  handle  of  the 
outer  gate  between  his  fingers,  to  cast  a  last,  fond  glance 
on  her,  still  loitering  at  the  threshold-step. 

So  passed  over  the  greater  portion  of  the  night,  and  the 
early  flush  of  dawn  tinged  her  eastward-looking  lattice  with 
crimson,  and  she  was  greeted  by  the  salute  of  the  already 
awakened  thrush,  ere  her  feelings  were  more  completely 
quenched  in  slumber.  This  quiet  repose  she  did  not,  how- 
ever, long  enjoy,  for  the  abrupt  opening  of  her  chamber- 
door  in  a  short  time  startled  her.  ww  Not  yet  awake,  child," 
said  her  father,  as  he  entered,  buttoning  his  large  shaggy 
cloak,  with  a  broad  brimmed  hat  slouched  over  his  ears  to 
protect  him  from  the  chill  air.  "  I  am  sent  for  to  visit  old 
Magnus  Vere,  who,  it  seems,  has  been  wantonly  wounded 
by  some  villains,  who,  in  the  name  of  the  Danish  govern- 
ment, have  been  over-night  searching  his  house,  in  the 
hopes  of  discovering  some  particular  Stockholm  fugitives, 
whom  they  have  traced  to  this  neighbourhood.  Good 
morning,  Margaret.  It  seems  I  must  hurry  on,  if  I  wish  to 
see  him  in  life,  for  he  cannot  last  above  a  few  hours." 

"Oh,  monsters !"  said  Margaret,  "  to  murder  a  good 
harmless  old  man,  who  must  have  been  innocent  of  all  crime 
against  church  or  state,  in  the  mere  wantonness  of  disap- 
pointed blood-thirstiness.  Who  knows,  father,  what  may 
vet  be  our  own  fate  !" 


THE   CURATE   OF   SUVERDSIG.  77 

•;  Let  us  do  oar  duty,  Margaret,  trusting  in  heaven.  Let 
us  fear  God,  and  have  no  other  fear." 

"  Poor  old  soul ! — Poor  old  Magnus  Vere !  Shall  I  then 
never  behold  him  more  ?  it  was  but  last  week  he  brought 
me  branches  of  evergreen  to  deck  our  dwelling  !  All  last 
summer  he  brought  me  bunches  of  beautiful  flowers  from 
his  garden — such  flowers  as  aie  not  to  be  found  elsewhere, 
all  the  country  round.  Ami  trie  pot  of  honey  last  Septem- 
ber. Ah  !  the  kind  old  man,  he  never  forgot  us,  father  ; 
he  was  always  finding  out  something  he  thought  would 
please  us." 

"  Well,  Margaret,  let  me  not  forget  him.  Nor  do  you 
forget  to  carry  breakfast  betimes  to  our  stranger  in  the 
church.  Make  not  the  smallest  ado  about  the  matter  ;  but 
let  silence  and  secrecy  go  hand-in- hand."  ( 

"  Oh  !  stay  but  for  a  moment,  father.  How  shall  I  com- 
municate this  dreadful  business  to  out  poor  Katherine  ?  It 
will  go  far,  i  fear  to  break  hor  heart,  for  she  loves  her  old 
parent  most  tenderly." 
*  u  That  misery  is  saved  you,  Vlargaret,  as  she  herself  re- 
ceived the  messenger,  and  is,  by  this  time,  at  her  father's 
bedside.  So  farewell  aarain  ;  and  again  see  that  you  neglect 
not  our  guest.  Tell  him  the  cause  of  my  absence.  1  will 
be  back  betimes.     Good  morning,  child  " 

Margaret  lay  for  a  little  absorbed  in  melancholy,  and 
pondering  over  the  terrible  vicissitudes  of  mortal  life.  She 
felt  on  what  holds  we  rested  our  hopes  of  happiness ;  and 
how,  in  an  hour,  the  paradise  of  this  world  may  be  left  to 
us  desolate.  Her  mother  was  with  the  dead  ;  she  had  small 
remembrance  of  her,  for  she  had  been  summoned  away 
while  yet  she  was  but  four  summers  old  ;  but  she  took  a 
delight  in  the  mournful  duty  of  keeping  her  grave-turf  free 
from  weeds,  and  scattering  over  it  the  earliest  flowers  of 
the  spring.  Her  father  was  now  rapidly  declining  into  the 
vale  of  years  ;  and,  in  the  course  of  nature,  a  separation 
might  not  be  very  distant ;  but  the  troubled  state  of  her  na- 
tive land  filled  her  bosom  with  additional  fears.  u  Last 
night,"  she  said  to  herself,  u  Katherine  chatted  and  laughed 
with  me — a  merry  creature.  She  lay  down  on  her  pillow 
in  happiness — she  hath  risen  up  from  it  in  sorrow.  She 
had  then  a  father,  as  I  have  now, — alas  !  how  fares  it  with 
her  at  this  moment !"  And  here  she  wiped  away  the  large 
drops  that  rushed  burningly  over  her  cheeks. 
7* 


iti  LIFE    OF   MAN5IE    WAUCit. 

The  good  Curate  was,  in  the  mean  while,  pursuing  his 
journey  ;  but,  ere  he  reached  the  cottage  of  Magnus  Vere, 
his  wife  and  daughter  were  looking  along  the  road,  weary- 
ing for  his  approach — and  no  wonder  ;  for  immediately  on 
his  entering,  he  perceived,  from  the  features  of  the  old  man, 
that  the  wounds  he  had  received  were  mortai,  and  that  a 
few  hours  must  probably  terminate,  the  struggle.  Magnus 
was,  however,  still  sensible,  and  told  his  story  with  simple 
distinctness. 

It  seems,  on  the  previous  afternoon,  one  well  known  to 
them  both,  Regner  Beron,  the  son  of  Magnus'  old  master, 
had,  in  disguise,  come  to  the  cottage,  soliciting  a  night's 
lodging,  which,  having  been  freelv  granted,  he  had,  in  the 
course  of  the  evening,  disclosed  himself;  informing  the 
family,  in  whom  he  reposed  the  strictest  confidence,  that  he 
had  travelled  for  a  long  way  over  the  mountains  in  company 
with  another  fugitive,  whom  he  had  brought  to  that  part  of 
the  country  for  greater  security,  and  directed  for  shelter  for 
the  night  to  the  dwelling  of  the  Curate.  It  fell  out,  how- 
ever, just  as  they  were  preparing  to  retire  to  rest,  that  the 
sound  of  horses'  feet  approaching  created  an  alarm  ;  and 
that  Beron,  stealing  cautiously  to  the  door^  had  recognised 
the  party,  though  in  the  dusk,  as  the  Danish  dragoons,  who 
were  in  strict  search  among  the  hills  for  the  proscribed 
fugitives,  particularly  for  some  of  the  nobles,  who  were  pre- 
sumed to  have  taken  that  direction — and  his  ready  percep- 
tion saved  his  life  ;  for  he  had  succeeded  in  concealing 
himself  amid  a  tuft  of  hay,  by  the  side  of  the  door,  till  the 
entrance  of  the  pursuers  enabled  him  to  make  off,  unper- 
ceived,  to  the  woods.  Unfortunately,  however,  for  the  fate 
of  his  host,  he  had,  in  his  precipitation,  left  his  cloak  behind, 
which  being  recognised,  and  the  search  proving  ineffectual, 
the  party  threatened  instant  death  to  Magnus  if  he  did  not, 
on  the  instant,  give  up  the  refugee  into  their  hands.  On 
finding  that  this  could  not  be  accomplished,  the  ruffians,  in 
dastardly  revenge,  had  wounded  the  old  man  in  several 
places  with  their  swords  and  the  butts  of  their  pistols,  leav- 
ing him  on  his  own  floor  for  dead,  weltering  in  his  blood. 

The  Curate  found  that  he  had  just  come  in  time  to  ad- 
minister the  last  consolations  of  religion ;  for,  in  a  little 
while,  he  remarked  the  long-drawn  heavy  breathing,  the 
paling  cheek,  and  the  glazing  eye  of  the  old  man  ;  and,  as 
he  felt  the  fluttering  pulse,  he  observed  the  cloud  of  death 


THE    CURATE    OF    SUVERDSIO.  79 

mantling  around  him,  silently  and  almost  imperceptibly,  as 
the  dews  of  night  congeal,  harden,  and  crust  over  the  green 
leaf  in  the  early  frost  of  morning 

The  latest  request  of  the  old  man,  before  he  died,  was, 
that  the  Curate  should  exercise  the  same  care  over  his 
daughter  as  he  had  hitherto  done  ;  and  that,  in  her  young 
and  inexperienced  years,  he  should  be  her  guardian  and 
protector. 

Before  the  event  had  taken  place  which  left  the  wife  of 
old  Magnus  a  widow,  and  his  daughter  an  orphan,  Margaret 
had  been  busying  herself  in  preparations  for  breakfasting 
their  hidden  guest.  She  felt  a  degree  of  timid  reluctance 
to  set  out  on  her  walk,  but  her  scruples  were  overcome  by 
a  sense  of  duty,  though  when  she  turned  the  key  in  the  old 
grating  lock  Of  the  church-door,  her  heart  fluttered  like  that 
of  a  newly-caught  bird. 

The  stranger,  who  was  already  engaged  in  looking  over 
some  papers  that  lay  scattered  on  the  little  table  before  him, 
rumpled  them  up  into  a  heap  at  her  approach,  and  rising 
from  his  seat^  wished  her  a  good  morning  with  a  smiling 
countenance,  which  showed  to  Margaret  at  once  that  neither 
Kirkegrim,  the  spirit  of  the  church,  nor  any  other  of  the 
unearthly  wanderers  of  night  had  paid  him  a  visit  in  his 
lonely  sleeping  place.  His  erect  and  gallant  demeanour, 
the  nobleness  of  his  features,  the  portliness  of  his  step,  and 
the  grace  attendant  on  every  movement,  made  her  conscious 
at  once  that  the  person  before  whom  she  stood  was  no 
common  man,  and  awed  her  in  a  moment  into  a  reserve 
that  was  scarcely  in  keeping  with  the  gentle  openness  of  her 
nature.  But  the  breath  of  a  few  passing  words  served  to 
clear  away  the  chilling  cloud  of  restraint,  for  the  stranger 
was  one  in  whom  benignity  of  disposition  was  conjoined 
with  gentility  of  manners — a  conjunction  which  is  often  to 
be  met  with,  and  ought  always  to  be  inseparable — so  in  a 
little  she  was  asking  questions,  and  he  answering  them  in 
the  flow  of  conversation,  with  the  unrestrained  confidings  as 
of  old  acquaintanceship. 

There  was  one  topic,  however,  which  she  kept  aloof  from, 
though  it  more  than  once  trembled  on  her  tongue.  Some 
times  she  hoped  he  might  stumble  upon  it,  and  sometimes 
she  resolved  to  question  boldly.  In  this  she  was  disap- 
pointed ;  in  that  she  disappointed  herself.  Need  we  say 
that  the  subject  was  Regner  Beron  ? 


80  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

Some  hours  passed  over  in  solitude  ;  and,  save  the  mur- 
mur of  the  daws  that  fluttered  about  the  roof,  in  the  crevices 
of  which  they  had  probably  nestled  their  summer  young, 
ail  living  sounds  were  silent.  The  only  light  of  his  dormi- 
tory flowed  in  through  two  narrow  slips  near  the  roof,  so 
that  it  served  only  to  show  him  the  progress  of  time,  as  the 
lazy  sunbeams  crawled  slowiy  from  west  to  east  along  the 
opposite  wall.  Communion  with  his  own  thoughts  was, 
however,  a  subject  with  which  the  stranger  had  been  long 
and  intimately  conversant ;  and  he  was  lost  in  a  reverie  of 
the  past  or  the  future,  at  the  instant  when  the  grating  of  the 
church-door  awakened  him  up,  with  the  warning  that  some 
one  approached.     It  was  the  Curate. 

"  Good  day,"  said  the  reverend  man,  on  entering.  "  I 
have  been  long  of  waiting  upon  you,  and  1  doubt  not  you 
have  been  somewhat  impatient  on  your  part.  But  I  have 
been  delayed  in  the  execution  of  a  mournful  office.  I  have 
been  closing  the  eyes  of  an  honest  man  and  old  friend  ;" — 
and  then  he  repeated  the  catastrophe  which  had  happened* 
and  the  escape  of  Beron. 

"  Then  he  has  escaped  safely  V-  cried  the  stranger,  start- 
ing from  his  seat,  and  looking  anxiously  at  the  Curate.  "  I 
trust  in  heaven  it  may  be  so !" 

"  So  it  is  hoped — at  least  no  harm  has  overtaken  him  so 
far  as  it  is  known.  I  know  his  acquaintance  with  the 
mountain  passes  hereabout ;  nor  can  he  be  followed  in  them 
by  his  pursuers  without  the  assistance  of  our  native  guides, 
whom  they  shall  find  unwilling,  or  find  not  at  all.  He  has 
taken  to  the  hills  I  doubt  not ;  and,  if  so,  I  entertain  no 
fears  of  his  having  eluded  them.,, 

"  I  rejoice  at  it  sincerely,"  said  the  stranger,  resuming 
his  seat  with  more  composure.  "  Should  it  be  otherwise,  1 
vow  to  heaven " 

44  Make  no  rash  vows,"  said  the  Curate,  interrupting  him  ; 
'*  especially  when  the  blood  of  man  is  so  likely  to  be  spilt 
in  their  fulfilment." 

14  Ah  !"  resumed  the  stranger,  "  you  think  me  impetuous 
— probably  I  am  so.  But  knew  you  how  valuable  the  life 
of  Regner  Beron  is  to  our  cause  !  knew  you  the  importance 
of  the  commissions  with  which  he  is  intrusted  !  knew  you 
that  the  soul  of  our  country  may  in  a  manner  be  said  to  be 
at  this  moment  in  his  hands !  then  you  would  sympathise 
in  my  irritability,  and  overlook   my  rashness !     Speaking 


THE  CURATE   OF  SUVERDSIO.  8i 

with  regard  to  myself,  I,  too,  have  a  deep  personal  interest 
in  his  fate  ;  for  he  was  once  the  means  of  rescuing  me  from 
destruction,  at  a  moment  of  the  most  imminent  peril,  when 
we  fought  together  under  the  standards  of  the  same  regi- 
ment." 

"  I  rejoice  to  hear,  sir,"  said  the  Curate,  "  for  the  honour 
of  our  poor  district,  that  one  of  our  sons  has  been  conduct- 
ing himself  as  he  ought." 

"It  was  he,  too,"  continued  the  stranger,  "who  con- 
ducted me  to  this  comfortable  asylum  ;  where  I  have  found 
more  indeed  than  he  even  promised  me." 

"  Talk  not  of  that,"  said  the  Curate.  "  Heaven  prospers 
the  right  cause,  and  all  may  yet  be  well.  You  said  that 
Beron  Was  to  journey  to  Mora  ; — I  have  no  doubt  that  he 
is  already  far  on  his  way  thither." 

"  And  as  to  the  poor  old  man  who  has  innocently  suffered 
in  our  cause  !"  said  the  stranger,  not  a  little  affected  ;  u  it 
is  miserable  that  our  safety  cannot  be  effected  but  by  throw- 
ing our  protectors  into  danger,  making  the  exercise  of  hos- 
pitality a  risk,  and  Christian  charity  a  crime  beyond  the,  pale 
of  forgiveness.  Let  it  not  bp  so,  1  beseech  you,  between 
us.  Though^  confiding  in  your  honour,  I  have  thrown  my- 
self into  your  arms,  let  not  threatened  destruction  fall  on 
your  house  for  my  sake  ;  and,  if  concealment  cannot  be 
effected  without  the  shedding  of  innocent  blood,  give  me  up 
at  once  :  for  better  is  death  itself,  than  a  life  which  would 
be  rendered  miserable  by  the  bitterness  of  unavailing  con- 
trition." _ 

"  I  trust,"  said  the  Curate  with  a  smile,  "that  there  may 
be  no  need  to  act  on  your  generous  warnings.  But  may  I 
ask  you,  were  you  really  at  Stockholm  at  the  season  of  the 
massacre  ?  Did  you  actually  witness  the  scenes,  which,  even 
here  in  our  secure  mountain  solitudes,  caused  our  hair  to 
stand  on  end  with  horror  ?" 

The  mention  of  that  atrocious  manifestation  of  tyranny 
seemed  at  once  to  kindle  fire  in  the  veins  of  the  stranger  ; 
and  he  paced  to  and  fro,  with  a  hurried  step,  for  a  little  while 
in  silence ;  then,  halting  in  a  more  settled  state,  there  was 
yet  a  brokenness  in  the  tones  of  his  voice  as  he  replied-— 

"  No,  my  friend,  I  was  not  present.  Had  it  been  so,  my 
duty  to  the  state  would  have  found  me  that  day  with  the 
senate,  whose  bloody  fate  I  must  have  shared.  As  it  is,  I 
have  been  spared,  not  for  my  own  worthiness — but  it  may 


82  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WATJCH. 

be  to  avenge  their  blood  !  Before  that  day  I  had  a  father — 1 
had  friends — I  had  a  home.  When  the  sun  of  that  evening 
went  down,  it  left  me  the  forlorn  being  you  now  find  me. 
Could  I  sit  down  in  silence,  and  aimlessly  lament  the  bitter 
doom  which  had  been  allotted  ?  That  was  not,  thank  Heaven, 
in  my  nature  ;  nor,  if  it  had,  would  such  apathy  have  been 
allowed  me.  I  speedily  discovered  that  a  mark  had  been 
also  set  on  my  brow,  as  one  of  the  crowd  who  would  draw 
the  sword  of  revolution  whenever  opportunity  occurred ; 
and  that  my  name  was  not  the  last  on  the  roll  of  the  pro- 
scribed. Such  is  the  degenerate  nature  of  man,  that  no 
sooner  was  this  known,  than  my  body-servant,  a  man  who 
had  eaten  of  my  bread  for  years,  made  an  attempt  to  deliver 
me  up  into  the  hands  of  the  foe  ;  but  may  ingratitude  ever 
meet  with  a  reward  like  his." 

"  What  became  of  the  villain  ?v  asked  the  Curate. 

"  The  subject  is  unworthy  wasting  breath  about,"  answered 
the  stranger ;  "  but  when  an  armed  party  entered  my  chamber 
under  his  directions,  and  found  their  prize  gone,  they  turned 
round  on  the  informer,  accused  him  of  having  permitted  my 
escape  for  a  bribe, -and  shot  him  on  the  spot.  Since  then,  I 
have  been  hunted  from  hiding  place  .to  hiding-place  like  a 
wild  beast  fearing  the  beams  of  that  sun  whose  illumination 
streams  so  beautifully  in  upon  our  wall  at  this  moment,  and 
finding  safety  only  in  the  darkness  of  night." 

M  Terrible,  terrible  indeed,"  said  the  Curate.  "  But  let 
us  live  in  the  prospect  of  better  days.  Wmter  lasts  not  all 
the  year  round  ;  and  the  volcano  ceases  to  rage  when  its 
fires  have  burnt  themselves  away.  You  say  that  you  have 
seen  service  in  the  army  ;  but,  tush  ! — I  fear  my  curiosity  is 
impertinent.  We  mountaineers  are  proverbially  fond  of 
prying  into  other  folk's  business  :  but " 

"  No — no — free  shall  be  my  answers,  as  your  questions 
are  free  and  friendly.  Perhaps  you  may  have  heard  of  Gus- 
tavus  Vasa,  one  of  our  generals  of  horse  ?  Beron  and 
myself  belonged  to  his  regiment,  and  have  seen  some  service 
with  him." 

"  Oh  yes,  said  the  Curate,  u  I  have  heard  of  him,  and 
well.     'Tis  said  he  is  yet  but  a  young  man.     Is  he  not  ?" 

"  Much  about  my  own  age,  I  dare  say.  Poor  soul !  he 
is,  no  doubt,  like  the  rest  of  us,  a  fugitive  among  the  hills, 
grieving  in  heart  to  see  Sweden  in  fetters.  Perhaps  we  may 
yet  hear  his  trumpet-call !" 


THE    CURATE    OF   SUVERPSIO.  Qo 

u  I  trust  we  shall,"  answered  the  Curate.  "  He  is  well 
spoken  of  by  his  true-hearted  countrymen  :  and  may  the 
names  of  the  loyal  ever  sound  iike  echoes  of  terror  in  the 
ears  of  the  savage  Dane,  our  oppressor." 

"  Trust  not,  friend,"  said  the  stranger,  "  to  thy  sanguine 
expectations  in  any  one.  The  chance  of  our  restoration  to 
freedom  dwells  not,  luckily,  in  individual  hands,  but  in 
unison.  The  solitary  tree  is  torn  up  by  the  winds  ;  but  the 
thick  black  forest  bids  defiance  to  the  assailing  tempest :  the 
single  reed  is  easily  broken  ;  but  the  bunch  defies  the  knee 
of  the  giant.  However,  as  1  have  faith  in  man,  I  reckon 
Gustavus,  wherever  he  may  be,  true  to  our  cause." 

"  And  there  is  Admiral  Norbi  ?  Is  there  not  ?" 

"  True,  there  is.  But  we  must  reckon  scrupulously.  In 
some  bosoms  ambition  occupies  a  larger  space  than  patriotism  ; 
still  let  us  judge  charitably.  The  Admiral  is  valiant,  and  a 
dangerous  foe  if  not  a  safe  friend  Whatever  his  designs 
towards  our  cause  may  be,  his  wisjies  towards  Christiern  are 
sinister  enough.  Did  you  hear  of  his  hopes  regarding  the 
administrator's  widow  ?" 

"  Hopes  ! — you  do  not  allude  to  marriage." 

u  Then,"  said  the  stranger,  "  that  sunlight  o'er  our  head* 
has  no  reference  to  day." 

"  If  so,  then  farewell  to  our  prospects  from  that  quarter  !" 
said  the  Curate.  "  The  craftiness  of  the  politician  hath 
overcome  the  honesty  of  the  sailor  Too  much  power  hath 
corrupted  the  singleness  of  his  heart.  Being  Governor  of 
Gothland,  he  needed  not  to  have  Calmar,  the  second  post  I 
suppose  in  our  territory,  under  his  jurisdiction.  It  was  a 
bribe — a  base  bribe.  The  sword  has  been  put  into  his  ha,nd 
sharpened  by  tyranny  ;  but  before  it  be  again  sheathed, 
nobler  ambition  may  rouse  him  to  turn  its  edge  against  the 
breast  of  the  common  oppressor." 

"  Think  ye,"  said  the  stranger,  "  that  your  Church  has 
remained  incorruptible  ?  Know  ye  not  that  he  has  been 
dealing  most  liberally  with  your  benefices  ?" 

"  In  what  respect,  and  where  ?"  asked  the  Curate,  while 
the  glow  of  indignation  and  scorn  passed  over  his  features. 

u  Have  you  not  then  heard  how  he  has  nominated  his 
minions  of  Upsal  and  Odensee  to  the  Bishopricks  of  Stregnez 
andScara?" 

"  By  sacred  Heaven !  'tis  a  shameless  infringement  on  the 
rules  our  Church— our  Church  l"  <uded  the  Curate  with  a 


€4  LIFE   OP   MANSIE  WAUCH. 

smile  of  derision.  u  The  voice  of  reason,  and  the  Holy 
Book,  which  it  is  pretended  we  expound,  shout  in  our  ears 
the  heinous  iniquities  of  a  perverting  and  iniquitous  system  !" 

"Say  not  so,"  interrupted  the  stranger  hastily.  "  Your 
master,  the  Pope,  hath  sanctioned  and  sanctified  his  doings." 

u  Be  it  so,  then  l"  said  the  Curate,  warmly  ;  "  his  authority 
I  have  long  despised  in  my  heart,  as  a  forgery  ingrafted  on 
the  only  true  religion.  May  the  swords  unsheathed  for  our 
restoration  to  the  civil  rights  of  freemen,  disdain  their  scab- 
bards till  they  have  cut  asunder  the  cords  of  spiritual 
bondage  1  'Tis  true  J  was  born  in  the  Papal  faith — I  was 
educated  in  the  Papal  faith — 1  have  been  a  minister  of  the 
Papal  faith  from  my  youth  upwards,  until  this  day.  But 
time,  custom,  self-interest,  have  not  been  able  to  blind  mine 
eyes  to  its  crookedness— to  its  mummeries — to  its  monstrous 
absurdities.  Now  throw  1  off  the  mantle  of  hypocrisy, 
which,  thoughtlessly,  I  have  worn  too  long — but  shall  wear 
no  longer  I" 

"  Softly,  reverend  friend,"  said  the  stranger,  taking  the 
Curate  by  the  hand  ;  "  thou  art  an  honest  man ;  and,  without 
reference  to  thy  caution,  I  admire  thy  simple  uprightness. 
My  sentiments  are  as  thine — cordially  are  as  tbine ;  and 
though  gloomy  be  our  prospects  at  this  moment,  as  the  scowl 
of  a  Lapland  winter,  the  day,  1  trust,  is  not  very  far  distant, 
when  we  shall  have  strength  to  dash  the  giant  Oppression 
in  the  dust,  and  live  in  the  sunshine  of  equitable  laws  and 
religious  freedom.  Doth  not  the  stench  of  tyrannical  cor- 
ruption ascend  from  the  shackled  valleys  up  to  us  even  here, 
infecting  the  pure  fresh  air  of  our  native  mountains  ?" 

"  Take,  then,  my  hand  upon  it,"  said  the  Curate  ;  "  and, 
though  my  holy  calling  forbids  my  bearing  arms,  I  shall  aid 
in  the  general  cause  to  the  utmost  of  my  poor  ability.  I 
shall  explain — and  exhort — and  admonish.  I  shall  preach 
boldly,  and  be  not  afraid  ;  nor  shall  I  think  my  life  lost  should 
it  be  thrown  away  in  the  service. — \^ho  has  been  appointed 
Viceroy — have  ye  not  heard  ?" 

H  Another  of  your  favoured  churchmen — Theodore, 
Archbishop  of  Lunden." 

"  Oh  !  shame — shame — shame  to  the  profligacy  of  the 
church  ! — I  wash  my  hands  from  the  foul  iniquity  !" 

"  And  know  ye  what  is  the  first  act  of  his  administration  ? 
He  has  set  a  price  upon  the  head  of  General  Gustavus,  an  J 
dispersed  horsemen  over  the  country,  with  commission  to 


THE   CURATE   OF   SUVERDSIO.  Oi) 

put  the  proscribed  to  the  sword  whereyer  they  can  be 
found." 

"Enough — enough!"  said  the  Curate,  holding  up  his 
clenched  hand.  "  Why  trembles  not  Earth  under  her  burthen 
of  iniquity? — 1  must  be  gone  for  the  present,  but  shall  see 
you  shortly.  In  the  mean-time  I  have  brought,  to  amuse 
your  solitude,  two  books ;  one  of  them  is  the  early  Chronicle 
or  Sweden,*  the  other  the  old  ballad  legends  of  our  native 
north." 

"  They  are  most  welcome,  my  kind  sir,"  said  the  stranger ; 
u  and  I  shall  be  glad  of  your  company  at  your  convenience, 
though  T  fear  that  I  am  a  most  troublesome  lodger.  If  any 
one  come  to' your  dwelling  at  night-fall,  by  the  token  of  his 
asking  for  Eric  Vosa,  shalt  thou  know  that  he  is  my  friend  ; 
and  admit  him,  for  his  businesses  urgent." 

The  sun  had  sunk  placidly — like  the  benignant  eye  of 
heaven — beyond  the  great  hills,  whose  ragged  fringework  of 
larch,  pine,  and  fir,  yet  glowed  in  dark  outline  against  the 
pavilion  of  the  west,  while  the  evening  star  peeping  from 
behind  a  pale  gray  cloud,  heralded  the  galaxy  of  night,  as  a 
tall  youth,  wrapt  up  in  his  cloak  of  furs,  solicited  at  the 
curacy  of  Suverdsio  for  leave  to  warm  himself  a  while  by 
the  hearth,  ere  he  proceeded  on  his  farther  journey  amid  the 
mountains.  The  Curate  was  absent,  haying  gone  out  in 
the  afternoon  to  visit  the  mounjprs  at  the  cottage  of  old 
Magnus  ;  nor  was  his  daughter  without  anxiety  for  his 
return.  But  Margaret  made  bold  to  admit  the  traveller, 
even  though  quite  alone  in  the  house,  and  conscious  of  the 
distracted  state  of  the  times  ;  informing  him  that  her  father, 
whom  she  expected  home  every  minute,  would,  she  was  quite 
sure,  make  him  perfectly  welcome. 

After  the  offer  of  some  slight  refreshment,  which  was  duly 
accepted,  Margaret,  in  her  usual  affable  way,  began  to  enter 
into  conversation  with  the  stranger. — And  the  massacre  of 
Stockholm  being  still  the  theme  upon  every  tongue,  she 
inquired  if  he  had  recently  come,  or  had  heard  any  thing 
from  that  quarter  ? 

"  Oh  yes,"  answered  the  youth  ;  "  and  bloody  work  they 
made  of  it.  But  1  have  come  up  among  the  hills  in  search 
of  an  old  comrade  in  arms  of  mine,  one  Regner — I  forget 
his  name  just  now." 

*  Probably  either  Eric  of  Upsal's    "  Chorographia  Scandteaviae,"  or 
Adam  of  Bremen's  "Tumbae  Veterum  apud  Sueones  Gothosque  Regnm.,: 
8 


36  LIFE   OF  MAN3ZE  WAUCH. 

M  Regner  Beron,  can  it  be  ?"  asked  Margaret,  eagerly. 

"  Ay,  that's  the  name  ;  you  have  not,  I  find,  forgotten. 
But  let  me  ask  you,  Margaret, " 

"  Heavens !  is  it  you,  Regner ! — Ah,  Regner,  do  I  see 
you  once  more,  safe,  safe,  safe!"  and  springing  across  the 
floor,  she  threw  herself  upon  his  neck,  while  he  pressed  her 
to  his  heart  in  an  ecstacy  of  affection  ;  then  as  suddenly 
withdrawing  herself,  like  a  wild  bird  from  the  grasp  of  the 
truant  schoolboy,  she  said  to  him  while  her  bosom  heaved, 
and  her  cheek  glowed  with  the  flush  of  maidenly  modesty, 
which  in  the  irresistible  vehemence  of  her  emotions  she  had 
somewhat  over-exerted — "  Oh,  fly — fly,  Beron  !  do  you  not 
know  that  the  horsemen  are  in  our  dales  in  search  of  you — 
may  be  even  at  this  moment  at  our  gates — and  how  could  I 
survive  your  fate  ! — But  I  talk  simply  ;  perhaps  you  have 
forgotten  me  ?" 

**  Forgotten  you,  Margaret ! — but  you  are  jesting." 

"  Nay,  nay, — but  I  am  not  jesting  of  your  danger.  Have 
you  not  heard  that  your  protector,  Magnus  Vere,  poor  old, 
white-haired  Magnus,  has  been  slain  by  your  pursuers,  in 
their  rage  at  not  finding  you  ?  Grasp  not  round  for  your 
pistols — alas!  it  is  now  too  late." 

M Impossible!"  said  Regner,  starting  to  his  feet,  soul- 
struck  at  the  intelligence  he  had  received.  "  Then  I 
swear " 

"  Swear  not  at  all,  Beron,"  interrupted  Margaret. 
"  The  thing  is  past,  and  you  are  blameless.  Let  your  care 
now  be  for  the  living — for  yourself." 

"  Be  not  dismayed,  Margaret,  on  that  score.  Well  know 
I  these  my  native  hills  ;  and  I  have  a  sword-arm  to  protect 
my  head.  Ah,  poor  Magnus  !  and  hath  thy  charity  paid 
the  penalty  of  blood !  rather  had  I  fallen  into  the  hands  of 
my  enemies.     How  can  I  repay  such  loss !"    ' 

"His  cause  was  thine,"  answered  Margaret;  "  and  if 
he  has  perished  at  his  post,  like  a  loyal  Swedish  mountain- 
eer, scarcely  is  his  fate  to  be  lamented,  seeing  the  degrada- 
tion to  which  the  living  are  subjected.  Were  1  a  man,  Beron, 
we  should  conquer  or  fall  together !  In  the  meantime,  see 
to  yourself,  and  fly  for  secure  refuge !  But  whither  fly  1 
No — no — remain  here.  You  cannot  be  safer  than  with  my 
father  ;  and  if  perish  we  must,  let  our  house  fall  together. 
Like  Saul  and  Jonathan  we  have  been  united  in  our  lives, 
und  in  death  let  us  be  not  divided." 


THE   CURATE   OF  SUVERDSIO.  07 

"My  dear,  kind  Margaret,"  said  Beron,  seizing  the 
hand  she  faintly  attempted  to  withdraw,  "  it  must  not  be  so 
at  present.  Yet,  credit  me,  matters  are  not  so  desperate  as 
your  solicitude  pictures  to  your  fears.  Cheer  up,  my  sweet 
one,  I  have  undergone  many  hardships,  encountered  many 
dangers,  but  I  have  held  them  all  lightly,  compared  with  the 
simple  sorrow  of  being  separated  from  thee.  We  have 
known  happy  days,  Margaret,  and  may  yet.  How  grows 
the  hazel  by  the  mill-stream  ?  Does  the  declining  sun  never 
invite  you  to  a  saunter  there  now  ?" 

"  Ah,  Beron,  do  you  ask  that  ?"  said  she,  with  a  sor- 
rowful playfulness.  "  But  whither  go  you  this  evening  ? 
You  must  not  stir  before  my  father  returns." 

"  I  promise  you  I  do  not,  for  I  have  business  with  him. 
Have  you  no  other  visiter  ?" 

*  Why  do  you  ask  ?" 

"  So,  Margaret,  you  are  careful  not  even  to  open  your- 
self to  me?  but  I  applaud  your  caution.  Where  have  you 
hidden  him  V9 

"I  am  a  trusty  housekeeper,  Beron,  and  divulge  not 
family  secrets,  so  shall  not  implicitly  depend  even  on  you. 
Could  you  have  thought  so,  Beron  ?  But  how  would  you 
judge  of  me,  were  my  idle  openness  to  endanger  any  one, 
who  reckoned  himself  secure  in  the  character  of  our  guest. 
But,  hearken  !" 

"  What  do  you  hear,  my  faithful  Margaret  T ' 

"  Yes,  'tis  my  father's  footstep  ;"  and  she  rose  to  hurry 
to  the  door,  when  Beron,  interposing,  snatched  a  first,  fond 
kiss  ;  and,  ere  she  had  breath  to  chide  him,  he  laid  his  hand 
on  her  arm,  saying, 

"Stay,  Margaret,  stay,  I  too  have  reasons  for  privacy, 
and  perhaps  even  from  him  ;  for  I  journey  in  the  character 
of  a  special  messenger,  a»d  know  not  yet  how  his  heart 
stands  affected  regarding  our  cause.  Fear  not,  however, 
Margaret,  that  I  have  embarked  in  any  enterprise  wherein 
my  honour  may  be  compromised.  If  we  succeed,  we  reap 
a  harvest  of  glory  ;  if  we  fail,  it  is  after  having  acted  the 
parts  of  true  men*  We  shall  hope  the  best,  Margaret,"  he 
added,  as  she  withdrew  the  hand  he  affectionately  pressed, 
u  The  cloudiest  day  may  set  in  the  pure  tranquillity  of  sun- 
.  shine  ;  and,  though  unworthy  thee,  I  know  thy  bosom  too 
faithful  to  desert  that  man  in  peril  to  whom  thou  did'st  pledge 
thy  troth  in  peace  1" 


88  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAT7CII. 

At  this  moment  the  father  entering,  retreated  a  step  itt 
surprise  at  seeing  a  muffled  stranger  seated  by  hi?  hearth  ; 
not  that  the  thing  was  uncommon,  or  that  any  traveller  of 
the  hills  had  ever  received  other  than  a  kind  welcome,  but 
because,  in  the  existing  troubled  state  of  Dalecarlia,  he  was 
in  danger  of  having  at  the  same  moment  the  pursuer  and 
the  fugitive*  under  his  roof  together,  well  knowing,  at  the 
same  time — so  high  ran  the  spirit  of  conflicting  parties — 
that  should  such  ever  chance  to  be  the  case,  small  would  be 
the  scruple  of  the  persecuting  Dane,  and  as  small  the  hesi- 
tation of  the  persecuted  Swede?  about  staining  the  hearth 
with  human  "blood. 

"  Good  even,  sir,"  said  Beron,  rising  and  bowing  re- 
spectfully ;  "  I  presume  you  are  the  Curate  of  Suverdsio. 
If  so,  I  bear  you  a  confidential  message." 

"  From  whom  asked  the  Curate  a  little  anxiously,  as 
Beron,  in  the  act  of  pushing  aside  his  cloak,  to  draw  a 
packet  from  his  breast,  displayed  two  pistols  stuck  in  the 
broad  leathern  belt  which  girdled  his  doublet. 

"  From  whom  I  may  not  say,"  replied  Beron  ;  "  but  to 
Count  Eric  Voss  bear  I  my  message.  Perhaps  you  may 
direct  me  where  that  nobleman  is  to  be  found  ?" 

"  And  is  Eric  Voss  one  of  our  nobles  V9  asked  the  Curate, 
with  not  a  little  surprise,  as  ihe  unreserved  nature  of  the 
communications  they  had  held  together  flashed  back  upon 
his  memory.  "  Indeed  his  stately  mien  and  bearing  mark 
him  out  as  such,  and  separate  him  from  the  common  crowd, 
not  less  than  his  learning,  sense,  and  information.  I  find 
too,  he  has  travelled,  and  knows  the  world  as  well  from  ob- 
servation as  from  books.  Have  you  had  any  refreshment? 
1  shall  lead  you  to  him  immediately.5' 

"Thanks"  to  your  kind  daughter,"  said  Beron,  giving 
Margaret  a  gentle  look  unobserved  by  the  Curate,  "  I  am 
abundantly  refreshed,  and  ready  to  follow  you— as  I  doubt 
not  my  presence  is  anxiously  wearied  for  by  the  Count, 
though  I  am  yet  an  hour  earlier  than  I  appointed." 

The  Curate  resumed  his  hat,  and  led  the  way  to  the  door,  * 
followed  by  Regner  ;  while  Margaret  came  up  behind  with 
the  otensible  purpose  of  seeing  it  closed.  But,  perhaps, 
she  might  have  some  other  object  equally  in  view — and  what 
guess  you,  reader,  might  that  be  ?  Perhaps  a  parting  squeeze 
of  her  lover's  hand  ;    and  in  this  she  was  not  disappointed. 

By  sunrise  on  the  succeeding  morning,  Count  Eric  Voss*, 


THE   CURATK  OP  SUVERDSIO.  89 

and  Regner  Beron,  departed  from  the  sanctuary  of  the  hos- 
pitable Curate,  who  accompanied  them  a  short  way  on  their 
route.  They  made  a  halt,  however,  at  the  small  wooden 
bridge  thrown  over  the  river  Leissac,  about  a  mile  and  a 
half  from  the  church  of  Suverdsio  ;  and  standing  beneath 
the  immense  trees  of  pitch-fir,  whose  dark  branches  over- 
hung the  sharp  rocks  on  the  left  bank  of  the  stream,  they 
conversed  together  for  a  little  while  on  the  state  and  pros- 
pects of  affairs  around  them,  promising  that,  either  in  weal 
or  wo,  their  host  should  soon  hear  of  them. 

Before  parting,  the  Count  unbuttoned  the  coarse,  shaggy 
cloak  in  which  he  was  clumsily  wrapped,  the  better  to  dis- 
guise his  quality,  and  cut,  with  his  penknife,  a  golden  button 
from  the  curiously  embroidered  tunic  he  wore  underneath, 
saying  to  the  Curate,  "  Money,  my  kind  friend,  I  have  not  to 
offer  you,  the  which  T  less  regret,  knowing  as  I  do,  that  your 
hospitality  flows  not  from  base  thirst  of  lucre,  but  from  pure 
benevolence  to  your  fellow-creatures.  Preserve  this  button, 
which  I  have  now  cut  from  the  left  breast  of  my  tunic.  Its 
intrinsic  value  is  insignificant,  but  it  may  serve  you  as  a  me- 
morial of  one  whom  you  relieved  from  urgent  distress,  and 
set  on  his  path  rejoicing.  When  I  came  to  your  hospita- 
ble door,  but  two  days  ago,  my  prospects  were  black  as  the 
shade  these  rocks  cast  on  the  water  ;  now  they  are  brighten- 
ing like  yon  skies  beneath  the  influence  of  the  rising  sun.'' 

"  You  think  of  me,"  said  the  good  man,  "  much  more 
warmly  than  my  supposed  merits  claim*  Though  my  holy 
calling  forbids  my  joining  in  scenes  of  warfare,  yet  the  reli- 
gion I  profess  blinds  not  the  human  conscience  to  the  sense 
of  right  and  wrong  ;  but  commands  us  to  do  our  duty,  and 
be  not  afraid.  Could  I  behold  the  atrocities  which  have 
clothed  my  dear  native  country  in  mourning,  and  bowed 
down  the  honest  pride  of  her  independence  to  the  dust,  yet 
live  on  regardlessly  in  sloth  and  apathy  of  mind,  believe  me 
it  could  as  little  render  me  a  better  minister  of  the  faithr  as 
it  could  satisfy  the  demands  of  my  abhorring  spirit  I  re- 
joice for  your  own  sakes,  and  for  the  sake  of  this  oppressed 
realm,  that  you  leave  my  door  with  better  hopes  than  those 
with  which  you  approached  it.  Take  with  you  my  parting 
blessing — my  prayers  be  ever  with  your  noble  cause  ;  and, 
if  the  day  arrive  when  you  unsheathe  your  swords  for  our 
country's  freedom,  be  assured  that  my  heartiest  petitions  as 
cend  to  heaven  in  your  behalf.'' 


90  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 

"  My  excellent  friend,"  said  the  Count,  "  would  that  all 
the  sons  ef  Sweden  rejoiced  in  her  honour  as  you  do,  felt  her 
degradation  as  you  feel,  and  were  actuated  by  the  same  open, 
bold  freedom  of  principles  ;  then  would  the  fetters  with 
which  we  are  bound,  be  but  ropes  of  the  sea-sand,  and  the 
iron  sceptre,  with  which  we  are  ruled,  drop  at  once  from  the 
blasted  hand  of  our  oppressor.  Then  should  we  soon  see  our  # 
ancient  independence  restored,  and  make  these  accursed 
Banes  feel — what  our  fathers  have  often  made  them  feel — 
that  they  rouse  the  slumbering  lion  when  they  provoke  our 
resentment." 

Having  slowly  sauntered  on  during  this  conversation,  they 
had  gained  a  part  of  the  road  on  the  opposite  bank  of  the 
stream,  where  a  footpath  branched  off  to  a  thick  part  of 
the  old  woods  at  the  bottom  of  a  small  ravine,  one  side  of 
which  was  formed  by  frightful,  almost  perpendicular  rocks, 
from  the  ledges  of  which,  the  scared  mountain-birds  scream- 
ed loudly  as  they  wheeled  away  over  the  trees.  The  spot 
was  wild,  sequestered,  and  lonely,  and  so  little  discernible 
from  the  main  road,  that  the  traveller  might  readily  pass  on 
without  its  attracting  his  smallest  observation.  The  three 
stood  still  for  a  moment  and  listened,  but  nought  was  to  be 
heard  save  the  faint  far  scream  of  the  heaven-ascending  eagle, 
whose  gyrations  were  gradually  mingling  themselves  with 
the  ocean  of  blue  sky.  "  My  friend,"  said  the  Count, 
turning  to  Beron,  u  I  hope  you  have  not  disappointed  us  ?" 

"  'Tis  impossible,"  was  the  reply,  as,  running  a  little  for- 
ward, he  ascended  a  green  knoll,  and  gave  a  short  shrill 
whistle.  For  a  few  moments  he  stood  silently  looking  around 
him,  and  listening  for  an  answer.  He  then  repeated  his 
summons  still  more  loudly,  and  almost  immediately  came  a 
response  from  the  adjacent  woods,  while  the  Count  and  the 
Curate,  gazing  steadfastly  in  that  direction,  had  the  satisfac- 
tion of  discovering  a  peasant,  hurriedly  leading  forward  two  , 
horses. 

The  Count  then  cried  to  his  friend,  "I  see-our  squire  has 
been  trusty."  Give  him  now  what  recompense  you  may  ;  and 
k  were  best  he  loiter  in  thi3  neighbourhood,  till  he  learns 
something  farther  o£  us." 

"  Is  he  good  for  any  thing  ?"  said  the  Curate,  smiling, 
u  We  cannot  afford  to  have  idle  hangers-on  about  us  ;  but, 
if  be  can.  work  in  the  field — or  about  the  house — or  take 
care  of  our  cows — or  follow  our  straggling  hill- sheep — we 
shall,  be  glad  of  his  services  till  you.  return  among  us," 


THE  CtfKATE  OF  SUVERDSIO.  91 

•;  All  excellent  fellow  will  you  find  him;"  said  Beron  £ 
"  and  capable  of  all  that  you  ask.  See  that  he  serve  you  dili- 
gently," 

The  Count  then  mounted  a  beautiful  black  steed,  which, 
curvetting  under  his  weight,  seemed  to  rejoice  in  the  hopes 
of  travel ;  while  Beron,  following  his  example,  lingered  for 
an  instant,  as  he  whispered  his  last  injunctions  into  the  ear 
of  the  stirrup*holder  ;  then,  waving  his  hand  to  the  Curate, 
galloped  on  after  his  leader. 

In  half  a  minute  they  were  out  of  sight  round  the  angle  of 
the  hill ;  the  road  looking  far  down  into  the  streamy  dells 
beneath  ;  but  the  poor  fellow  hurried  up*  to  the  top  of  a  tall 
detached  piece  of  rock,  to  have  a  last  look  of  the  travellers  ;• 
and*  having  gazed  a  little,  gave  his  hand  a  farewell  wave,  as 
he  came  plodding  down  to  the  spot  where  the  Curate  stood. 

"  Gunnar  shall  maybe  never  see  his  master  more,''  he  said, 
giving  his  head  a  sorrowful  shake  ;  "  it  were  better  to  be  with 
the  thunder-storms  among  the  summer  hills,  when  every  flash 
of  lightning  shivers  the  old  pines,  than  to  go  to  the  field  of 
battle,  where  human  blood  flows  like  the  waters  of  the 
stream.  My  blessings,  however,  go  with  him  ;  for  a  kinder 
heart  beats  not  between  this  and  the  sea." 

"  So  your  name  is  Gunnar,"  said  the  Curate,  as  they 
quietly  bent  their  steps  homeward  to  Suverdsio.  u  You  are 
not,  sure,  a  native,  of  these  parts  ?  for  few  in  our  district  arc 
unknown  to  me." 

"  Right, master,"  replied  the  peasant,  "such is  my  name  ;■ 
but,  though  I  seem  a  stranger  to  you,  not  many  miles  from 
where  we  now  ar#,  was  I  born  and  bred.  To  be  sure,  hav- 
ing long  worked  in  the  mines — that  is  for  ten  years  ;  and 
being  now  six-and-twenty,  come  Yule — I  know  not  a  great 
many  folks  above  ground.  However,  I  have  been  at  Su- 
verdsee  before  now  ;  and  the  prettiest  lass  in  all  wide  Swe- 
den is  to  be  found  in  that  spot,  and  no  where  else." 

"Indeed,  Gunnar!"  said  the  Curate,  a  little  amused, 
ci  And  so  you  are  in  love,  are  you  ?" 

"  I  shall  not  say  I  am  not,"  quoth  the  honest  fellow  ;  H  but 
we  must  not  think  of  these  things  just  at  the  present,  when 
we  are  all  about  to  become  soldiers,  and  scour  the  country 
witlf  pike  and  pistol.  I  see  you  are  acquainted  with  our 
general,  I  doubt  not  will  be  up  and  fighting  with  the  best  of 
us.     Is  it  long  since  you  joined  our  party  ?" 

*  So  you  don't  know  me  ?"  asked  the  Curate, 


1*2  LIFE  OP  MANSIE  WAUCH. 

".No,"  answered  Gunnar  ;  "  unless  you  be  that  Gtfstavus 
Vasa,  they  have  made  such  an  ado  about ;  but  I  should  guess 
him  scarcely  yet  come  to  your  years,  though  you  look  hale 
and  healthy,  sir." 

"  Indeed,  honest  Gunnar,  you  honour  me,  I  should  sup- 
pose, much  by  your  mistake  ;  but  I  am  no  more  than  the 
poor  Curate  of  Suverdsio." 

"  The  Curate  I  Bless  my  heart !  Oh,  pardon,  sir,  my 
stupid  blunders,"  said  Gunnar,  making  an  awkward  leg,  as 
he  lifted  his  bonnet.  .  "If  you  are  that  man  I  shall  stay  with 
you, — and  work  for  you, — and  fight  for  you,  while  I  have  an 
arm  to  lift  ;  and  all  for  your  kindness  to  Katherine  Vere,  my 
own  sweet  maiden.'" 

"  Oh,  ho !"  cried  the  Curate ;  "  and  does  the  scent  of  the 
chase  lie  that  way,  Gunnar.  Have  you  not  heard  that 
Katherine  has  lost  her  father  ?" 

"  Yes,  I  have,"  answered  Gunnar,  swinging  the  large  stick 
in  his  hand  around  his  head  with  brawny  strength  ;  "  and, 
Kad  we  come  within  arms  length — the  dastardly  thieves,  and 
this  staff— I  should  have  bid  them  defiance,  glancing  swords 
and  all.  Cowardly  rascals  !  to  murder  a  man  whose  hairs 
were  grown  white  before  their  mothers  suckled  them." 

"  Shameful,  indeed,"  said  the  Curate,  "  and  unworthy  the 
name  of  men.  Heaven  grant,  for  the  sake  of  humanity,  that, 
as  they  have  dealt  to  others,  they  be  not  yet  dealt  with." 

"  Never  mind,  sir  ;  it  is  over  now,  but  we  will  make  them 
smart  for  it  yet,  I'll  warrant  us.  They  think  they  have  us  as 
the  cat  has  the  mouse  ;  but  oh  ho — wait  a  little — wait  a  lit- 
tle ;  the  general  has  got  a  list  from  my  master  last  night, 
which  will  make  hi3  blood  flow  joyfully." 

"  Indeed,"  said  the  Curate,  pleased  at  the  simple  loquacity 
of  Gunnar.     "  Where  come  they  from  ?" 

"  From  the  four  quarters  of  the  wind,"  was  the  reply. 
^  But  you  have  been  at  the  Fair  of  Mora  ?"  added  Gunnar. 

"  Many  times,"  said  the  Curate. 

"  And  forget  ye,"  answered  Gunnar,  "  that  of  all  days  of 
the  year  this  chances  to  be  the  one  on  which  it  is  held.  He 
has  but  to  appear  and  blow  the  bugle-horn  in  the  crowd  ;  and 
the  great  mob  there  shall  be  changed  in  a  twinkling  from 
traffickers  into  soldiers  ;  and  the  staves  be  thrown  from  the 
hands  to  be  exchanged  for  swords  hidden  under  the  doub- 
lets." 

"  Wo,  wo  unto  the  Danes,"  said  the  Curate,  imbibing  a 


THE   CURATE   OP  SUVERDSIO.  9S 

portion  of  the  honest  fellow's  enthusiasm,  "  when  the  flag  of 
our  defiance  curls  in  the  breeze  !" 

u  Thou  hast  said  it,  my  master;  but  hark  ye." 

u  What  is  it  that  stirs  you  so  much,  friend  Gunnar  ?" 

"  Why,  who  can  think  of  what  will'be  shortly  going  on,  sir, 
without  feeling  the  blood  tingling  in  his  veins,"  said  the  pea- 
sant/grasping  his  cudgel.  "  Rare  shall  he  the  work  ;  it  is 
scarcely  fair  leaving  me  here  only  to  hear  of  it.  That  is  the 
reason  why  the  Count  and  our  master  spur  us  on  so  gal- 
lantly.    Guess  ye  whom  they  expect  to  meet  there?" 

"  Probably,"  answered  the  Curate,  u  to  meet  the  friends 
who,  you  have  just  said,  have  pledged  themselves  to  take  up 
arms." 

"  You  have  guessed  aright,"  replied  Gunnar,  "  but  only  in 
part,  master.  Hollo,  hollo,"  cried  he,  dancing  and  skipping 
about,  u  when  the  bell  tolls  twelve,  then — then — then  the 
blast  will  be  blown,  and  the  pass-word  given,  that  will  bring 
a  thousand  swords  from  their  scabbards  ;  and  make  the 
frightened  Danes  scud  from  the  streets  like  the  hare,  when 
the  greyhound  yells  at  her  heels.  And  who  think  ye'  is  to 
blow  the  blast  ?  -  and  who  think  ye  is  to  give  the  pass-word  ? 
My  master  ?  No — no — no.  The  Count  ?  No — no — no. 
The  blood  of  a  hero  warms  his  heart — the  blood  of  kings 
runs  in  his  veins  ; — it  is  the  nephew  of  the  Administrator,-— 
it  is  the  grandson  of  King  Canutson, — it  is  Gustavus  Vasa !" 

w  Gustavus  Vasa  !"  cried  the  Curate,  almost  as  overjoyed 
as  Gunnar  ;  tk  then  we  shall  play  the  game  manfully.  Can 
it  be  possible,"  added  he,  laying  his  hand  a  moment  on  the 
peasant's  arm,  in  surprise  and  pleasure — "  or  are  you  jesting 
with  me  ?" 

"  Jesting  !"  replied  Gunnar  ;  "  think  of  the  murder  of  old 
Magnus,  and  judge  if  jesting  would  suit  such  a  subject. 
No  !  'tis  as  true  as  that  sun  is  now  shining, — as  these  clouds 
are  now  sailing  over  us, — as  that  stream  is  now  flowing. — 
and  as  the  God,  who  must  judge  all,  is  just." 

The  rising  at  Mora,  a  populous  parish  of  the  mountain 
district  of  Dalecarlia  took  place,  according  to  the  Chronicles 
of  Sweden,  in  the  year  fifteen  hundred  and  twenty.  It  was 
there  that  the  first  signal  of  that  revolution  was  made,  which, 
after  a  glorious  struggle,  terminated  in  the  restoration  of  the 
Swedish  people  to  their  ancestral  independence. 

At  this  era,  Gustavus  Vasa — the  Wallace  of  Sweden — 
was  a  young  man  in  the  thirtieth  year  of  his  age  ;  but  he-had 


94  LIFE   OF   MANSIE  WAUCH. 

already  seen  much  service  in  the  profession  of  arms,  both  at 
home  and  abroad,  having  advanced  himself  by  his  heroic 
conduct  more  especially  at  the  battle  of  the  castle  of  Wedel, 
to  the  rank  of  general  of  horse  ;  disdaining,  like  others  oi 
the  young  nobles,  to  nurse  himself  on  the  lap  of  indulgence, 
or  give  himself  up  to  the  syren  sway  of  luxurious  pleasure. 
As  already  mentioned,  his  family  was  among  the  most  ancient 
and  exalted  in  the  country,  having  descended  from  blood- 
royal,  and  being  hereditary  Great  Standard-bearers  of  the 
kingdom. 

It  would  appear  that,  at  very  tender  years,  he  exhibited 
Isigns  of  that  masculine  genius  which  afterwards  so  greatly 
distinguished  him ;  for  he  was  sent  over  by  his  father,  Eric 
Vasa,  the  Governor  of  Finland,  to  the  care  of  his  uncle,  the 
Administrator,  with  particular  instructions  regarding  his  stu- 
dies at  the  University  of  Upsal,  whither  he  was  sent. 

It  is  not  our  purpose  here — indeed  it  would  be  quite  foreign 
to  the  elucidation  of  our  little  tale — to  say  more  of  him,  than 
that,  after  the  massacre  of  Stockholm,  in  which  his  father 
perished,  together  with  many  of  his  friends,  he  vowed  the 
vow  of  attempting  the  rescue  of  Sweden  from  foreign  op- 
pression, and,  if  possible,  breaking  at  once  the  bonds  of  civil 
and  religious  tyranny.  But  the  craftiness  of  political  guilt 
smelt  out  the  danger,  even"  when  afar  off ;  for  the  fame  of 
his  early  prowess  had  already  reached  the  ears  of  Christiern, 
who  not  only  entered  his  name  in  the  list  of  the  proscribed, 
but  set  a  price  on  his  head. 

We  can  merely  glance  at  a  few  of  the  romantic  exploits 
through  which  this  act  .of  tyranny  compelled  him  to  pass.  In 
the  disguise  of  a  peasant  he  fled  from  the  scene  of  devasta- 
tion, accompanied  by  a  single  attendant,  who,  after  robbing 
him  of  almost  every  thing,  absconded,  and  was  no  more 
heard  of;  while  Christiern,  finding  that  his  prey  had  eluded 
him,  seized  on  the  mother  and  sister  of  Gustavus,  and  carry- 
ing them  away  by  sea,  had  them  thrown  into  a  Danish  prison. 

Notwithstanding  the  strong  family  affection  of  Gustavus, 
even  the  threatened  destruction  of  those  dearest  to  his  heart 
did  not  induce  him  to  surrender  himself ;  and  he  allowed 
his  actions  to  be  governed  by  the  principles  of  public  duty. 
Having  wandered  over  the  whole  country  of  Sudermania,  he 
passed  between  Westmania  and  Nericia,  encountering  fa- 
tigues, and  undergoing  privations,  under  which  a  less  fervid 
enthusiasm  must  have  cooled,  and  a  less  robust  frame  sunk  ; 


THE   CURATE   OF   ST7VERDSIO.  95 

until,-  reaching  the  safer  mountains  of  DalecarKa,  he  shel- 
tered in  that  district  of  the  province  which  is  called  Daal- 
ileld.  After  wandering  about  for  some  time  in  poverty  and 
wretchedness,  with  discomfited  hopes,  and  a  wearing  out 
frame,  living  on  the  chance  bounty  of  nature,  and  sleeping 
on  the  green  turf  under  the  forest  trees,  he  was  at  length 
driven  to  show  himself  among  men,  and  ventured  to  hire 
himself  as  a  labourer  in  the  mines  ;  where  he  lay  buried 
under  ground,  working  for  a  pitiful  subsistence.  But  even 
here  he  was  not  secure  ;  nor  was  the  wretchedness  of  his 
condition  able  to  conceal  his  real  estate  ;  for  the  old  woman 
at  whose  hovel  he  lodged,  finding  the  fragment  of  a  silken 
gold  embroidered  robe  among  his  clothes,  carried  it  to  the 
lord  of  the  land,  who,  chancing  to  have  been  educated  at 
the  university  of  Upsal  along  with  him,  recognised  the 
nephew  of  the  Administrator  of  the  kingdom  even  in  his  rags, 

Such,  however,  was  the  fascination  of  Gustavus,  and  the 
power  of  his  enthusiasm  in  the  cause  of  religion  and  liberty, 
that,  instead  of  being  delivered  up,  he  induced  his  discoverer 
to  enter  into  his  schemes,  and  was  offered  the  accommoda- 
tion of  his  princely  mansion.  His  proselyte  engaged  to  raise 
his  kindred,  who  were  many  and  powerful,  whenever  oppor- 
tunity occurred,  against  the  tyranny  of  Denmark  ;  but  he 
appears  to  have  been  one  of  "  the  infirm  of  purpose  ;"  for 
he  shortly  became  terror-struck  at  the  designs  he  had  agreed 
to  adopt ;  and,  when  prospects  of  active  warfare  opened 
up,  his  "heart  of  hare"  died  within  him,  and  he  slunk  away 
like  a  timid  ermine  to  the  security  of  his  hiding-place. 

To  the  dishonour  of  Sweden  but  too  many  were  found  of 
like  temper  ; — but  not  so  was  Gustavus.  Disdaining  to  owe 
protection  to  such  a  dastardly  knave,  he  set  out  alone,  and  at 
midnight,  through  the  woods  to  the  abode  of  Arnold  Peter- 
son, an  officer  whom  he  had  known  in  the  army,  and  who 
had  made  him  the  most  unbounded  professions  of  friendship. 
Peterson  received  him  as  he  expected — entered  instantly 
into  his  plans — and  told  him  that  he  had  been  only  waiting 
a  signal  to  raise  up  his  adherents  in  arms  ;  but,  like  the 
heathen  deity  Janus,  he  was  double-faced  ;  and,  while  he 
was  exhibiting  the  outward  show  of  a  Pythias,  his  treacher- 
ous heart  prompted  him  to  follow  in  the  footsteps  of  Judas. 

Having  calmed  the  unsuspecting  heroic  mind  of  Gustavus, 
by  representing  that  every  thing  was  in  proper  training,  he 
went  straight  to  one  of  the  military  rulers  of  the  Danish 


06  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

tyrant,  and  informed  him  that  he  had  caged  the  long-sought 
tor  wild  bird  of  the  woods — that  he  had  the  fugitive  under 
his  own  roof!  But  the  pity,  the  gentle  sympathy  of  woman's 
heart  preserved  him  from  destruction  ;  for  even  at  the  mo- 
ment Peterson  was  leading  a  baqd  of  armed  horsemen  to 
surround  his  dwelling,  and  cut  off  every  avenue  of  escape, 
his  wife  Meretta,  seized,  according  to  some,  with  a  sudden 
passion  for  her  handsome  guest,  or  instigated,  according  to 
others,  solely  by  commiseration  with  his  misfortunes,  warned 
him  of  his  danger,  and  despatched  a  trusty  servant  with  him 
through  the  woods,  till  he  was  safe  from  the  search,  and  be- 
yond the  pursuit  of  his  enemies. 

From  his  escape  from  the  treachery  of  Peterson,  till  the 
period  where  our  tale  again  takes  him  up  at  the  Fair  of  Mora, 
among  the  Dalecarlian  hills,  his  adventures  had  been  involved 
in  obscurity  ;  so  we  shall  proceed  in  the  thread  of  our  little 
narrative,  which  required  this  brief  elucidation,  as  it  involves 
events  connected  with  that  revolution  which  was  afterwards 
effected. 

At  the  fair  of  Mora,  where  he  appears  to  have  been  joined 
by  Count  Eric  Voss,  and  many  other  persons  of  note,  he 
succeeded  effectually  in  exciting  into  action  the  dormant 
patriotism  of  his  native  land  ;  and  scarcely  had  he  raised  the 
standard  of  insurrection,  when  he  found  himself  at  the  head 
of  a  considerable  force,  whose  enthusiasm  in  the  cause  of 
independence  and  hatred  against  the  Danish  oppression,  he 
did  not  allow  to  cool  by  inaction,  but  led  them  against  the 
castle  of  the  foreign  governor,  which  he  took  by  storm. 
Success  augmenting  his  army — which  he  strove  to  discipline 
— he  proceeded  impetuously  on  in  his  career  ;  and  being 
joined  by  Olai,  Laurence  Erici,  Fredage,  and  Jonas  de  Ne- 
derby,  gentlemen  who  had  been  outlawed  by  Christiern, 
he  fearlessly  offered  battle  to  the  army  of  the  Viceroy,  who 
wisely  declined  it,  and  invested  the  town  of  Westeras,  which 
he  forced  to  capitulate. 

Many  of  the  recreant  nobility,  stimulated  by  his  successes 
to  a  sense  of  duty,  rose  up  in  different  parts  of  the  country  ; 
so  that,  by  ramifying  his  designs,  Gustavus  was  enabled  to 
carry  on  several  different  enterprises  at  the  same  time  ;  while, 
almost  without  giving  his  enemies  time  to  recover  from  their 
panic,  he  traversed,  with  amazing  celerity,  the  provinces  of 
Helsingland,  Medelpadia,  Angermania,  Gestricia,  and  Both- 
nia, causing  them  all  to  revolt ;  while  securing  the  mountain 


THE   CURATE    OF   SUVERDSIO.  97 

passes  against  the  march  of  the  Danes,  and  portioning  out 
his  army  among  proper  officers,  he  caused  Arwide  to  over- 
run Ostrogothland,  and  made  Laurence  Petri  besiege  the 
town  of  Nincoping  ;  Oiaus  Bond  investing  the  capital  of 
Nericia,  and  Oiai  and  Erici,  the  city  of  Upsal  on  both  sides. 

In  an  inconceivably  short  time,  he  found  himself  master 
of  one- half  of  Sweden,  so  powerfully  had  his  enthusiasm,  and 
the  terror  of  his  prowess  co-operated  to  discomfit  the  Danes* 
But,  with  the  exasperated  passions  of  disappointed  ambition, 
Christiern,  like  a  true  savage,  caused  the  mother  and  sister 
of  the  patriot,  whom  he  had  carried  away  into  captivity,  in 
contempt  of  all  laws  human  and  divine,  to  be  wrapped  up 
m  sacks,  and  thrown  into  the  sea. 

The  young  hero  was  for  a  while  soul-struck  and  overcome 
with  the  affliction  of  this  terrible  catastrophe  ;  but,  re-mus- 
tering those  energies  which  the  barbarian  cruelty  of  Chris- 
tiern was  no  doubt  intended  to  paralyze,  he  soon  showed  - 
that  it  had  awakened  a  totally  different  feeling  in  his  bosom; 
for,  actuated  by  a  spirit  of  righteous  retaliation,  he  issued  a 
proclamation,  commanding  all  the  Danes,  wherever  they 
could  be  found,  to  be  put  to  the  sword  without  mercy — a 
proceeding  against  which  his  calmer  mind  might  indeed  well 
revolt,  but  one  which  the  urgency  of  circumstances  in  a 
manner  rendered  necessary.  That  he  was  right  in  his  cal- 
culation speedily  showed  itself;  for  not  only  had  it  the  effect 
of  dismaying  bis  opponents,  but  it  also  elevated  the  spirits 
of  his  adherents  in  a  corresponding  ratio — as  it  evinced  the 
absence  of  all  fear  about  being  ever  compelled  to  submit  to 
terms,  and  showed  that  he  held  in  contempt. both  the  friend- 
ship and  the  opposition  of  those  who  had  so  long  ruled 
Sweden  with  a  rod  of  iron. 

Amid  the  tempest  of  these  commotions,  it  so  happened, 
that  while  sunshine  was  dispelling  the  night  of  slavery,  the 
glorious  doctrines  of  the  immortal  Luther  sprung  up  conquer- 
ing and  to  conquer  the  gloomy,  debasing,  and  detestable  su- 
perstition of  the  Roman  Church.  Among  those  who,  in 
Sweden,  were  most  forward  in  advancing  the  tenets  of  the 
Christian  faith,  pure,  holy,  and  undefiled,  and  in  tearing  away 
the  bandage  from  the  eyes  of  the  too-long-blinded  multitude, 
were  two  brothers,  Laurence  and  Olaus  Petri,  the  former 
one  of  the  bravest  among  the  generals  of  Gustavus,  the 
tatter  the  Canon  of  Stregnez.,  a  man  of  parts  and  eloquence, 
combining  the  accomplishments  of  the  scholar  with  the  fear* 
9 


98  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

Iessnes3  of  the  soldier.  With  indignation  Gustavus  himself 
had  long  beheld  the  paltry  ails  and  subterfuges  which  were 
taken  to  hoodwink  the  understandings  of  the  people,  and 
only  waited  a  favourable  opportunity  for  trampling  on  the  su- 
premacy of  the  Pope,  and  protesting  the  Protestant  religion. 
To  his  regret,  however,  matters  were  not  found  ripe  enough, 
till  after  the  lapse  of  several  years,  for  an  open  declaration 
of  his  espousal  of  the  reformation  of  Luther  ;  but  whenever 
state  policy  rendered  this  step  safe,  he  at  once  exhibited  his 
sincerity  by  an  unshrinking  public  avowal. 

In  vain  did  the  Viceroy  and  the  Danish  leaders  gain  any 
temporary  advantage  over  him,  for  his  cheeky  seemed  to  be 
complete  but  for  the  moment ;  and  like  the  fabled  giant,  whose 
strength  was  renewed  every  time  he  touched  the  ground,  his 
efforts  appeared  always  more  vigorous  and  fearful  alter  any 
casual  disaster.  At  length,  having  succeeded  triumphantly 
in  ascending  the  hill  of  his  difficulties,  and  gaining  that  pin- 
nacle where  the  sun  of  glory  shone  cloudlessly  above  his 
head,,  he  felt  that  the  bonds  of  Danish  thraldom  might  be 
soon  irretrievably  broken  asunder,  and  that  Christiern  might, 
instead  of  being  the  pursuer,  become  the  pursued.  The 
undisciplined  peasantry  he  had  trained  into  a  formidable 
body.  Causing  them  to  lav  aside  the  customary  use  of  the 
cross-bow,  he  exercised  them  in  the  employment  of  fire-arms, 
so  that  they  vyere  in  a  short  time  little  inferior  to  the  most 
veteran  troops  of  Europe.  By  many  wise  and  salutary  regu- 
lations, order  was  restored  to  a  realm  which  had  long  groaned 
under  the  turbulence  of  faction  ;  and  the  commerce,  which 
oppression  had  so  powerfully  tended  to  annihilate,  rapidly 
began  to  revive  under  more  favourable  auspices.  From  the 
most  abject  degradation,  the  unconquerable  heroism,  and 
sage  legislation  of  Gustavus,  had  raised  his  native  land  to  its 
ancient  dignity  and  freedom.  He  had  settled  it  in  peace, 
in  security,  and  power  ;  and  freed  it  from  all  invaders.  Nor 
is  it  at  all  to  be  wondered  at,  when  we  consider  the  misery 
Sweden  had  suffered  under  viceroys,  usurpers,  archbishops, 
and  military  commandants,  that  the  voice  of  the  people,  as 
the  only  fit  monument  of  national  gratitude,  should  have 
placed  the  sceptre  in  that  hand  which  had  wielded  the  sword 
so  successfully  for  them,  and  so  gloriously  for  itself. 

Having  now,  on  the  historical  chart,  looked  sufficiently 
before  and  after  us  to  render  our  narrative  perspicuous,  we 
shall  again  go  back  to  our  story,  leaving  affairs  of  state  to 


THE    CURATE   OF   SUVERDSIO.  99 

those  that  were  engaged  in  them,  and  return  once  more  to 
the  village  of  Suverdsio,  and  our  old  friend  the  Curate. 

Sharp  were  the  winds  and  piercing,  and  the  clouds  show- 
ered snows  over  the  fading  hills,  when  Count  Eric  Voss,  and 
his  trusty  attendant  Regner  Beron,  hastened  from  the  cot- 
tages of  Suverdsio,  to  join  Gustavus  at  the  first  great  insur- 
rection, which  was  appointed  for  the  Fair  of  Mora  ; — and 
now  the  tints  of  autumn  were  again  pervading  the  woods. 
the  acorn  fell  from  the  oak,  the  pine  tree  began  to  drop  its 
leaves,  and  the  fir  shook  down  its  iark  cones  upon  the  moist 
turf;  while  the  skies  waned  like  the  lower  world,  and  amid 
the  shortening  days,  the  shorn  grain  disappeared  from  the 
plains  into  the  granary  of  the  farmer.  It  was  in  this  sea- 
son of  melancholy  fruitfulness,  that  the  Curate,  while  amusing 
a  vacant  afternoon  in  pruning  some  creeping  acacias  that 
greened  over  the  front  of  his  secluded  dwelling,  paused  to 
behold  a  company  of  horsemen,  whose  arms  glittered  in 
the  flood  of  mellow  sunlight,  approaching  on  the  steep  road 
which  formed  the  southern  approach  ;  some  riding  before, 
and  some  behind  a  caleche,  or  lit  lie  carriage,  drawn  by  four 
horses. — In  the  multitude  of  his  thoughts  within  him,  his 
mind  could  not  otherwise  feel  than  somewhat  perplexed  at 
the  unexpected  unfolding  of  a  spectacle  so  uncommon  among 
his  old,  native  hills  ;  and,  when  we  consider  the  irritated 
and  unsettled  state  of  the  country  at  this  juncture,  and  the 
consciousness  of  the  Curate  that  his  actions. might  be  tor- 
tured to  his  ruin,  the  momentary  qualm  which  came  over 
him  will  not  form  a  ninth  wonder  of  the  world.  Of  battles 
fought,  and  battles  won,  much  had  he  heard  ;  but,  from  the 
conflicting  state  of  party  opinion,  little  worthy  of  reliance, 
in  those  days  when  newspapers  were  not,  could  be  gleaned 
from  any  quarter.  So  though  he  still  inclined  to  hope,  in 
the  absence  of  all  positive  information,  that  success  was  still 
attendant  on  the  patriotic  efforts,  yet  his  nerves  received  a 
shock,  when,  on  the  nearer  approach  of  the  cavalcade,  he 
perceived  that  the  soldiers  were  in  light  green  uniform,  and 
wore  in  their  caps  the  badge  of  King  i  mristiern.  He  imme- 
diately supposed,  on  sec«nd  thoughts,  that  the  vehicle  was 
the  travelling  conveyance  of  some  of  the  Danish  nobility  ; 
and  that  they  were  probably  attempting  their  escape  from 
Sweden,  under  the  protection  of  an  armed  band  ;  but  his 
dismay  was  renewed,  when  on  the  carriage  halting  at  his 
gate,  he  observed  that  it  was  quite  empty.     The  leader  of 


100  LIFE  OF   MAXSIE   WATCH. 

the  party,  dismounting  from  his  horse,  first  assured  himself 
that  he  addressed  the  Curate  of  Suverdsio,  and  then  informed 
him  that  he  had  orders  for  carrying  away  him  and  his  daugh- 
ter as  prisoners  ;  while  he  acknowledged  that  he  had  posi 
tive  commands- to  treat  both  with  every  leniency,  which  in- 
terfered not  with  their  chance  of  escape. 

"  What  may  I  have  done,"  asked  the  Curate,  "  to  bring 
upon  me  the  so  much  marked  attention  of  your  government  1 
Can  I  be  informed,  sir  ?'* 

u  Oh,"  replied  the  commandant,  "as  to  that,  it  is  not 
my  province  to  inquire.  The  soldier  does  the  bidding  of  his 
sovereign  ;  and  the  civil  laws  of  the  kingdom  take  cogni- 
zance of  right  and  wrong.  That  is  the  subject  on  which 
it  is  not  my  duty,  neither  have  1  ability  to  enter." 

"  Well,  since  it  is  so,"  said  the  Curate,  "  let  the  righteous 
will  of  heaven  be  done  ! — For  myself  I  care  little — compa- 
ratively nothing.  What  I  have  said,  I  have  said  as  con- 
science, the  oracle  of  the  soul,  dictated  ; — what  ]  have  done 
I  have  done  as  my  strict  duty  to  God  and  my  fellow-creature  s 
dictated.  But  my  daughter — oh,  my  daughter  ! — let  not  what 
she  knew  nothing  of — knows  nothing  of — bring  down  a  pun- 
ishment she  deserves  not.  Take  me — take  me  !  I  am  ready 
— willing  to  go  with  you  ;  but,  as  you  have  wives,  as  you 
have  daughters,  spare  her — and  let  her  remain  behind  ! — 
Whither  am  I  to  be  carried  ?" 

"  Our  orders  command  your  being  carried  to  the  Castle 
of  Westeras,  the  palace  of  the  Viceroy  ;  where  a  Council 
of  State  sit,  giving  trial,  and  awarding  just  sentences  to 
auch  as  have  rebelled  against  the  just  government,  or  despised 
the  edicts  of  the  King.  In  this  thing,  it  causes  me  regret 
that  I  may  not  attend  to  you,  being  positively  enjoined  to 
bring  your  daughter  along  with  you,  and  with  all  due  speed, 
to  the  appointed  place  of  examination  ;  the  court  being 
about  to  remove,  for  a  like  purpose,  to  a  more  remote  part 
of  the  country." 

"  Are  your  orders  then  so  positive  ?"  asked  the  Curate, 
sorrowfully. 

"  Imperative, — and  I  trust  you  will  immediately  see  the 
duty  of  submitting  voluntarily,  and  without  hesitation,  know- 
ing that  resistance  would  be  madness,  and  that  escape  is  out 
of  the  question.*' 

"  Well  then,  I  submit  freely,"  said  the  Curate,  fervently 
clasping  his  palms  for  a  moment  together,  and  looking  up 


THE  CURATE  OF  SUVERDS10.  101 

wards  to  the  place  whence  comes  the  aid  of  the  righteous. 
1;  You  observe  my  anxiety,"  he  said  ;  "  but  take  it  not  for  the 
anxiety  of  fear.  I  have  done  only  what  I  would  do  over 
again  ;  and,  fearing  One  above,  1  have  no  human  fear. — 
But  as  you  are  a  man,  oh,  spare  my  daughter !  I  am  a 
*  child  when  the  dream  of  her  misery  comes  across  me  ;  and 
when  I  think  that,  in  my  supposed  guilt,  the  perfectly  guilt- 
less may  suffer.  What  i  have  done  pertains  to  me  alone, — ■ 
she  hath  aided  not — or  aided  only  in  ignorance,  in  submis- 
sion to  a  parent's  authority.  I  am  ready  and  willing  to 
answer  for  my  conduct ;  hut  load  me  not  with  crime  in  in- 
volving her  iii  danger  ;  and  if  guilt  can  be  imputed  to  me 
in  aught  I  have  done,  let  not  its  weight  fall  upon  one  who 
is  innocent  as  the  babe  unborn !" 

By  this  time,  Margaret,  at  first  surprised  at  the  unwonted 
approach  of  such  a  cavaicade,  had  her  surprise  changed  into 
terror  at  perceiving  the  Danish  uniform.  She  beheld,  from 
the  window,  the  expostulating  attitudes  of  her  father  ;  and, 
on  coming  to  the  threshold,  she  heard  the  broken  and  ele- 
vated tones  of  his  voice. 

At  once  the  whole  truth  flashed  upon  her  soul ;  and, 
rushing  forward,  she  threw  her  arms  around  his  beloved 
neck.  "***  He  must  not  go,"  she  cried.  "  Oh,  no,  you  shall 
not  take  him  from  me! — I  know — yes,  yes,  I  know  well 
what  you  have  done  to  others,  and  would  do  to  him  !"  she 
screamed  in  an  agony  of  affection  and  fear  ; — "  but  where 
my  father  goes,  nothing  shall  hinder  my  going  also  ;  and 
whatever  his  fate  is,  so  shall  be  mine  ; — that  surely  you  will 
not  refuse — that,  if  you  are  men,  you  surely  dare  not  re- 
fuse ;  else  the  evil  spirits  that  are  said  to  infest  the  world, 
have  not  ascribed  to  them  actions  of  more  unsparing 
cruelty!" 

"  My  sweet  young  lady,"  said  the  commandant,  in  as 
soothing  a  tone  as  his  military  habits  could  be  supposed  to 
assume,  "  do  compose  yourself  Yo»  shall  go  with  your 
father  as  you  desire  ;  and  f  pledge  mylionour  on  this  sword, 
that,  while  you  are  in  my  keeping,  no  harm  shall  be  allowed 
to  happen  either." 

Upon  entering  into  the  house,  at  the  request  of  the  Cu- 
rate, while  preparations  were  made,  as  could  best  be  made, 
for  their  immediate  journey,  the  commandant  explained  at 
length  the  imperative  orders  he  had  received  to  bring  both 
father  and  daughter  along  with  him  ;   begging  of  him  not  to 


102  LIFE   OF   MAKSIE    WATJCH- 

repeat  requests  that  his  public  duty  left  him  not  at  liberty  to 
comply  with,  however  repugnant  that  duty  might  be  to  his 
private  feelings. 

With  heavy  hearts,  although  nerved  with  the  fortitude 
which  only  conscious  virtue  can  bestow,  the  Curate  and  his 
daughter  in  a  short  time  declared  themselves  in  readiness  to 
accompany  their  captors  ;  while  Katherine  Vere,  a  girl  in 
the  beauty  of  eighteen,  scarcely  less  fair  than  her  fair  mis- 
tress, wiping  her  eyes  with  her  white  apron,  and  weeping 
half  aloud,  saw  the  hearth  by  which  she  had  often  sat  singing 
in  joy,  extinguished,  and  the  doors  of  hospitality  locked, 
making,  what  had  once  been  a  home  of  cheerful  peace,  the 
house  of  desolation. 

At  the  door  of  the  vehicle  her  master  shook  hands  with 
her  cordially,  bidding  Heaven  bless  and  protect  her  ;  and 
Margaret,  as  she  leaned  forward  to  give  her  a  parting  kiss, 
said,  in  a  voice  whose  tremulous  accents  belied  her  smiles* 
"  Keep  a  cheerful  heart,  Katherine,  we  will  be  back  to  you 
ere  long." 

The  cavalcade  immediately  proceeded,  Katherine  follow- 
ing it  greedily  with  her  eyes,  now  and  then  looking  back  at 
the  deserted  vicarage,  and  again  forward  at  the  rapidly  dis- 
appearing horsemen,  as,  solitary  and  sighing,  she  sauntered 
homewards  to  the  cottage  of  her  widowed  mother.  In  her 
hand  she  carried  a  cage,  containing  the  linnet  which  had. 
with  its  clear,  shrill,  happy  pipe,  so  often  enlivened  the  tasks 
of  her  young  mistress  ;  gazing  at  every  tree  and  rock  as 
she  passed  along,  as  if  fate  had  forewarned  her  that  she 
was  never  to  traverse  the  same  road  again.  Having  gained 
a  height,  from  which  the  view  of  the  downward  country 
was  distinct  and  extensive,  she  sat  down  on  a  fragment  of 
rock,  and  watched  for  a  long  time  the  horsemen  and  the 
carriage,  as  they  gradually  disappeared,  lessening  on  the 
sight  ;  now  losing  themselves  amid  the  sylvan  scenery,  and 
now  for  a  while  exposed  again  to  view  by  a  casual  elevation, 
or  a  winding  of  the  road. 

The  sun,  looking  down  from  his  azure  pavilion,  tinged 
the  fleecy  clouds,  that  seemed  only  to  linger  in  the  ether 
from  the  delight  of  being  kissed  by  the  effulgence  of  his 
purple  glory,  and  scattered  a  boundless  flush  of  mellow  irra- 
diation over  the  splendid  scenery  of  the  mountainous  dis- 
trict. The  decaying  tints  of  the  illimitable  forests,  clothing 
the  steep  hills  even  to  their  rugged  precipices — the  mourn- 


THE    CUKATE    OF   STJVERDSIO.  103 

fid  murmurs  of  the  swoln  streamlets — the  solitary  whirr  of 
the  startled  wild  bird — and  the  seeding  plants  by  the  way- 
side,  served  to  embalm  with  a  pleasing  sweetness  the  melan- 
choly of  her  thoughts — for  melancholy  indeed  were  the 
thoughts  that  haunted  and  hung  over  her.  She  had  seen  the 
home,  wherein  she  had  spent  years  of  happy  days,  shuttered 
and  locked  up,  and  the  benefactors  who  had  watched  over, 
protected  her,  and  loved  her  as  one  of  their  own  kindred, 
dragged  away  by  enemies,  who  had  hitherto  shown  no  re- 
morse for  their  atrocities, — evincing  neither  sympathy  for  the 
weak,  nor  pity  for  the  fair,— to  captivity  assuredly,  and  in 
all  probability  to  immediate  trial  and  condemnation.  Oh, 
lonely  was  the  lot  of  Katherine  ;  and  amid  the  scenes  of 
loneliness,  the  desolation  of  her  situation  fell  with  a  grloomier 
shadow  over  her  heart.  Like  the  declining  sun,  her  pros- 
pects had  suffered  a  sorrowful  eclipse  ;  and,  as  she  journeyed 
with  pensive  steps  across  the  hill- side  to  the  cottage  of 
her  mother,  the  night-hawk,  wheeling  with  ominous  wing 
through  the  dusky  twilight,  uttered  its  quick,  wild,  unearthly 
cry  ;  and  the  dash  of  the  waterfall,  echoing  through  the 
forest  silence,  spake  of  despondency,  and  desertion,  and  sol- 
itude. 

But  who  is  that  watching  his  mountain-flock  ?— Is  it  some 
timorous  wanderer  of  the  hills — some  marked  victim  of 
the  Dane  ?  Hah,  'tis  Gunnar  ! — 'tis  our  old  chum  Gunnar 
himself — large  as  life,  and  overflowing  to  the  lips  with  joy  at 
the  sudden  apparition  of  his  Dulcinea  del  Suverdsio.  But 
we  must  allow  them  to  walk  home  together ;  and  leave  sor- 
row to  its  best  and  sweetest  alleviation — the  commingling 
of  affectionate  hearts. 

After  a  journey  of  two  days,  during  which  every  attention 
was  paid  to  the  wants  and  wishes  of  the  Curate  and  his 
daughter  consistent  with  their  security,  the  commandant  ar- 
rived with  his  charge  at  the  hamlet  of  Waddersteine,  about 
half-a-mile  from  the  Castle  of  Westeras,  where  the  Danish 
assembly  were  then  sitting. 

To  his  inquiries  during  their  route,  the  commandant 
ventured  to  give  the  Curate  only  scanty  glimpses  into  the 
state  of  affairs  ;  but  this  much  he  could  learn,  that  several 
battles  had  been  fought  with  various  success  ;  that  several 
towns  had  fallen  into  the  hands  of  the  Swedish  revolution- 
ists ;  and  that  Stockholm,  the  capital  of  the  country,  still 
held  out  for  the  Dane,     Scarcely  could  these  reports  be  in 


104  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

spiriting  to  our  friend  the  Curate  ;  for,  previous  to  the  fatal 
day  on  which  he  had  fatten  into  the  hands  of  his  enemies,  his 
enthusiasm  had  caused  him  to  lend  too  ready  an  ear  to  the 
rumours,  that  the  sword  of  Gustavus  was  like  a  sun- burst, 
which  flashed  over  the  land,  chasing  before  it  the  gloom  of 
superstition,  and  the  night  of  slavery.  What  a  miserable 
shock  had  his  expectations  received,  in  finding  the  arm  of 
the  Dane  still  sufficient  to  reach  him  in  his  remote  and  se- 
questered mountain  home  !  Yet,  grieving  as  he  did  for  the 
misfortunes  he  had  brought  on  a  loving  and  beloved  daughter, 
he  did  not  allow  selfishness  entirely  to  swallow  up  and  anni- 
hilate the  interest  he  had  taken  in  the  fortunes  of  his  native 
country.  His  hopes  in  her.  behalf,  appeared  indeed  blasted 
and  desolate, — some  sudden  reverse,  previously  altogether 
unsuspected  by  him,  appeared  at  once  to  have  trampled  down 
the  patriotic  insurgents  to  the  dust ;  and  the  light,  which  had 
commenced  to  dawn  so  gloriously  over  hill  and  dale,  had  set 
in  a  night  of  clouds,  without  any  twilight  forewarning. 

It  was  now  evening — and  the  commandant,  who,  in  the  af- 
ternoon, had  left  his  charge  under  sufficient  guard,  return- 
ing to  escort  the  captive  mountaineers  to  the  great  assembly, 
already  meeting  or  met  for  their  trial.  To  the  interrogator 
ries  of  the  Curate,  he  returned  no  satisfactory  answer,  re- 
mentioning  his  injunctions  of  secrecy;  but  he  ventured  to 
express  the  hope,  that  things  might  yet  turn  out  more  favour- 
ably than  was  anticipated. 

When  the  father,  dressed  out  in  his  best  sables,  and  the 
daughter  in  a  white  robe  as  pure  as  her  innocent  heart,  lin- 
gered a  moment  at  the  door  for  the  drawing  up  of  the  car- 
riage, far  borne  through  the  silence  of  evening,  came  like 
a  sepulchral  voice,  the  toll  of  the  great  bell,  summoning 
them  forward  to  the  hall  of  trial. 

Halting  by  an  immense  arched  gateway,  they  passed 
through  the  vestibule  of  a  building,  whose  quadrangular 
turrets  seemed  to  support  the  weight  of  the  lowering  sky. 
Neither  of  the  two  had  ever  known  more  of  the  palaces  ol 
the  great  than  what  the  apocryphal  testimony  of  books  had 
conveyed  to  them,  so  that  on  being  ushered  by  folding  doors, 
of  a  sudden,  into  the  very  heart  of  the  hall  of  assembly,  it 
was  no  wonder  their  eyes  were  dazzled,  and  their  hearts  died 
within  them.  The  stupendous  vaulted  roofs,  covered  with 
grotesque  paintings,  and  an  infinitude  of  stuccoed  imagery, 
the  tall  Gothic  diced  windows  with  their  magnificent  traceries. 


THE  CURATE  OF  SUVERDSIO.  105 

the  walls  groaning  under  their  load  ofgorgeously  embroidered 
tapestry  of  Arras,  the  curiously  carved  benches,  the  velvet 
cushions,  the  marble  floors,  and  the  flaming  cressets  that 
depended  from  on  high  by  silken  cords,  struck  on  their  be- 
wildered imaginations  like  the  visions  of  some  fancifully 
distempered  dream,  as  for  a  little  they  felt  themselves  as  it 
were  in  the  enchanted  habitations  of  the  eastern  genii,  of 
whom  romancers  had  written  ; — and  it  was  some  time  before 
they  perceived,  or  at  least  regarded  before  them  the  large 
assembly  of  nobles  and  leaders,  some  in  their  rich  costly 
robes,  and  others  in  coats  of  glittering  armour. 

With  the  greensward  under  his  feet,  the  rocks  scowling, 
the  trees  flourishing,  and  the  mountain  winds  whistling 
around  him,  the  Curate  could  think  like  a  man,  and  feel  as  a 
patriot ;  but  in  the  midst  of  such  a  dazzling  assemblage,  his 
spirit  drooped,  like  a  caged  bird,  and  he  dwindled  away  in 
the  overwhelming  consciousness  of  his  own  insignificance. 
Conviction  might,  or  might  not  follow  ;  but  he  had  reckoned 
on  at  least  making  a  defence  which  should  neither  be  de- 
rogatory to  his  character  as  a  Swede,  nor  his  faith  as  a 
Christian.  When  put  to  the  trial,  however,  he  now  felt  that 
he  might  as  well  be  at  once  led  out  to  death,  as  to  attempt 
in  such  a  scene  any  defence  of  bis  conduct.  As  the  stars 
in  their  beauty  look  as  if  they  could  brave  the  daylight,  yet 
are  swallowed  up  on  the  uprise  of  the  effulgent  sun,  so  his 
many  noble  emotions,  the  vigorous  arguments,  which  his 
reason  had  suggested,  the  open  manifestation  of  virtue, 
which  he  was  sure  his  conduct  must  display,  even  to  the  eyes 
of  his  traducers — all,  all  vanished  before  the  talisman  of 
magnificence  ;  and  he  gave  up  every  thing  for  lost ;  but,  at 
that  desponding  moment,  he  was  startled  by  the  touch  of 
something  from  behind  ;  and,  turning  his  head  half  round* 
Ire  discovered  Margaret,  who  gathering  hold  of  the  skirt  of 
his  coat,  had  shrunk  to  his  back,  and  with  a  blood-forsaken 
cheek,  pale  as  the  white  lily  of  April,  seemed  ready  to 
sink  down  on  the  floor.  Then,  as  by  force  of  magic,  "  the 
bowstring  of  his  spirit"  regained  its  elasticity,  and  the  free 
blood  of  undaunted  manhood  came  gushing  back  into  his 
\reins  ; — for  nature  is  superior  to  art,  and  the  strength  of 
paternal  affection  deeper  rooted  in  the  soul  than  awe  for 
power,  or  bedazzling  pageantry.  Fie  beheld  the  being  more 
dear  to  him,  for  her  own  sake,  and  for  her  mother's,  than  all 
other  breathing  things,  clinging  to  him  in  the  hour  of  tempest 


10G  LIFE    OF    MANSIE    WAUCH. 

— as  the  "ivy  clings  to  the  oak, — and  the  strong  sense  of  the 
duty  he  owed  himself  and  her  came  to  his  support. 

When  he  reached  the  area  in  front  of  the  judges,  one  from 
the  centre  stood  up  and  addressed  him,  saying—"  Are  you 
the  Curate  of  Suverdsio?" — and,  in  a  firm  voice,  he  replied. 
u  I  trust,  my  Lord,  I  have  done  nothing  to  make  me  ashamed 
to  say  I  am." 

Margaret  was  now  offered  a  chair,  by  the  side  of  her 
father  ;  and  the  interest  that  her  youth  and  beauty  had 
excited  in  the  court  was  visible  on  every  countenance  ;  but 
alas  justice  is  blind,  and  the  scales  are  allowed  not  to  be 
freighted  with  the  load  of  pity. 

"  We  shall  see  that  immediately,"  said  the  spokesman  of 
the  assembly,  in  reference  to  the  Curate's  answer.  "  Mean- 
while let  me  ask  you  this  simple  question — Do  you  confess, 
or  do  you  not,  having  harboured  sundry  of  the  rebellious 
subjects  of  King  Christiern,  when  your  allegiance  bound 
you  to  deliver  them  up  to  justice,  knowing  them  to  be  out- 
lawed for  their  rebellion  against  his  supreme  authority,  or 
for  their  personal  crimes  ?" 

"  That  T  have  given  shelter  to  my  countrymen,  when 
travelling  among  the  hills  they  required  rest  and  refreshment. 
I  do  not  deny — even  to  this  time  backwards  for  the  last  thirty 
years'  have  I  done  so.  If  my  word  is  gainsayed,  let  the 
traveller,  that  hath  been  refused  admittance  at  my  gate,  be 
brought  forward  to  testify  against  me.  Had  I  withdrawn 
from  the  call  of  the  wayfarer  in  these  troublous  latter  days,  I 
might,  I  confess  readily,  have  been  enabled  to  repose  on  my 
pillow  in  greater  security  ;  but  strong  was  the  voice  of  nature 
within  me  ;  and  the  duties  of  that  religion,  which  it  is  my 
glory  to  profess,  compelled  me  to  feed  the  hungry,  and  to 
clothe  the  naked." 

"  Do  you  deny  the  authority  of  King  Christiern  ?"  asked 
the  president. 

"  Before  I  answer  that  question,"  said  the  Curate,  seeing 
the  dangerous  turn  that  things  were  about  to  take,  u  mo- 
thinks  it  were  more  consonant  with  the  established  law  of 
nations  to  produce  my  accuser.  You  cannot  surely  wish  to 
extort  confessions  which  may  ruin  me  from  my  own  lips. — 
But  before  we  proceed  farther,  my  lords,  let  me  implore  you 
to  send  back  this  girl,  who  is  my  only  daughter,  to  her  native 
hills.  It  must  have  been  through  error,  that  she  has  been 
summoned  here,  she  being  a  simple  maiden,  who  knows 


THE  CURATE  OP  SUVERDSIO.  107 

nothing  of  the  ways  of  the  great  world,  and  who  has  had  no 
other  object  or  deiight  in  life,  than  in  rendering  my  declining 
years  comfortable,  or  in  visiting  the  orphan  and  the  widow 
in  their  afflictions.  If  your  hearts  allow  you  to  listen  to  the 
prayers  of  a  distressed  fellow  mortal,  send  her  home ;  put 
her  put  of  this  danger,  for  she  is  blameless  ; — and  whether 
accused  or  without  accuser  \  will  freely  tell  all,  wherever 
my  confessions  may  lead  me  ;  though  it  be  from  this  hall  to 
the  scaffold  !" 

"  No,  father,' '  cried  Margaret,  springing  from  her  seat,  her 
recollections  seeming  to  come  back  at  the  allusions  to  her 
ovvn  situation  ;  "  I  must  not — dare  not — shall  not  leave  you* 
Shall  it  be  said  of  me,  that  I  fled  from  my  father  in  the  hour 
of  distress.  Shall  the  finger  of  scorn  be  pointed  at  me ! 
Shall  the  good  mock  me  and  say,  fc  behold  the  woman  that 
has  a  heart  of  rock  V — No — no — father  'tis  in  vain.  What- 
ever you  are  doomed  to  suffer  none  on  earth  shall  prevent 
my  sharing!" 

"Hush — hush,  silly  girl,"  said  the  distracted  father,  stem- 
ming the  torrent  of  her  affectionate  eloquence.  u  Speak 
not  in  that  rash  manner — you  know  not  what  you  are  saying." 
Then,  turning  to  the  court,  he  continued  more  aloud, — 
u  Justice,  my  Lords,  denies  that  you  have  the  power  of  ex- 
torting confessions  from  me  ;  especially  when  confessions  of 
any  sort  may  be  tortured  into  treason,  and  may  end  in  the 
.spilling  of  my  blood.  I  stand  before  you  ready  to  abide 
your  doom  ;  let  him  then,  who  hath  aught  to  say  against 
me  be  brought  before  me,  face  to  face." 

u  Assuredly,"  replied  the  judge  ;  u  your  request  ^  most 
reasonable,  and  can  be  momentarily  complied  with."  Then 
striking  his  rod  on  a  large  bell,  which  hung  suspended  from 
the  ceiling,  he  ordered  to  be  summoned  into  presence  u  the 
Count  Regner  Beron." 

The  Curate  looked  as  if  he  had  heard  the  knell  of  doom 
rung  in  his  ears  ;  and  Margaret — but  we  shall  not  attempt 
to  describe  her  sensations. 

"  Regner  Beron !"  at  length  cried  the  Curate,  starting 
back  pale  and  faltering.  The  same  syllables  died  on  the 
lips  of  Margaret.  The  cloud  of  despair  settled  down  upon 
them. 

A  side  door  being  opened  by  the  attendant  officers,  a 
person  in  a  rich  dress,  proceeded  forward  to  the  end  of  the 
council  table,  confronting  that  where  the  Curate  and  his  daugh- 


108  LIFE   OF    MAXSIE    WAV  Oil. 

ter  stood  ;   while,  as  surely  as  the  sun  sheds  the  light  of  dav, 
they  perceived  that  it  was  no  other  than  Regner  Beron. 

"  For  a  moment  halt,"  cried  the  Curate  recovering  himself, 
and  calling  in  the  whole  vigour  of  his  soul  to  brave  a  fate, 
which  he  now  saw  unavoidable-  "  For  a  moment  halt,-— 
and  allow  not  that  man  to  bow  down  his  soul  with  a  greater 
load  of  perdition. — Regner !  attend  to  me.  I  knew  thee  once 
poor, — the  sole  relic  of  an  honourable  house, — and  I  hear 
thee  this  night  addressed  by  the  title  of  count.  Better  had 
it  been  for  thee,  to  have  been  earning  thy  bread  by  the  sweat 
of  thy  brow,  like  the  lowest  miner  on  our  native  Delecarlian 
hills,  than  to  stand  in  this  assembly,  arrayed  in  purple  and 
fine  linen,  as  the  betrayer  of  thy  country." 

"  Halt,  halt,"  said  the  judge  ;  "know  ye  not  that  you  are 
speaking  treason  ?" 

"Perhaps  I  may,"  replied  the  Curate,  dauntlessly  ;  "per- 
haps it  may  sound  so  to  the  ears  of  men  ;  but  before  heaven 
I  am  speaking  truth  !" 

"  He  asks  not  gold,"  said  the  judge  ;  "  but  we  have 
promised  him  your  daughter  as  a  reward  for  his  services  to 
the  state  ?" 

"  x\Iy  daughter !  my  pure  child  Margaret,  to  become  the 
mate  of  a  perjured  renegade  !  the  earth  would  sicken  at  such 
an  union.  In  the  nature  of  things  it  is  monstrous,  it  is  im- 
possible !  and  heaven  with  its  lightnings  would  either  strike 
dead  the  offerer  of  such  profane  violence,  or  summon  from 
a  world  of  sin  and  wo  the  spirit  of  its  own,  against  which 
the  powers  of  evil  expected  to  triumph ! — Ah,  Regner, 
Regner,  dare  lift  up  your  eyes  and  look  on  me.  Happier 
had  it  been  for  thee,  both  in  this  world  and  that  which  is  to 
come,  hadst  thou  contented  thyself  with  thy  sequestered 
home,  and  continued  a  hunter  of  the  roebuck  on  the  hills. 
Thou  hast  bartered  thy  peace  for  gold,  thy  conscience  for  a 
jewelled  robe  ;  but  think  on  thy  injured  country  and  tremble  ; 
remember,  Judas,  and  look  to  thy  latter  end.  Remorse 
shall  haunt  thee  as  a  spectre  ;  and  the  array  of  thine  evil 
deeds  pass  before  thy  visions  of  the  night,  rendering  exist-  < 
ence  bitter  as  the  waters  of  Marah,  and  recollection  the 
torments  of  those  who  have  gone  down  to  the  pit!" 

So  fervent  was  the  Curate  in  his  admonitions  to  Beron, 
and  so  absorbed  in  his  subject,  that  for  a  little  the  court 
seemed  to  vanish  from  his  eyes  ;  and,  looking  round  to  sooth 
his  fainting  child,  he  was  about  to  re-commence  his  address 


J'HE   CUB  ATE    OF   STJVEHDSIO.  109 

to  the  assembly,  when,  to  his  surprise,  on  looking  up  to  the 
judgment  bench,  he  observed  the  chair  of  the  president 
empty.  A  few  seconds  after  he  however  resumed  his  seat, 
having  put  on  the  black  silk  robe  in  which  it  is  customary  to 
pass  sentence. 

"  It  is  needless,"  said  the  president,  rising  to  address  the 
Assembly,  "  to  waste  the  time  of  this  court  by  a  further  ex- 
amination of  the  cause  before  us.  The  witnesses  have 
already  given  their  evidence  before  you  ;  and,  so  convincing 
are  the  proofs,  that  you  perceive  the  reverend  gentleman  has 
not  a  single  word  to  say  in  his  own  defence.  From  his  own 
lips  indeed  he  is  condemned,  as  you  have  this  night  heard 
him  utter  treasons,  and  pronounce  the  lawful  evidence  of  the 
witnesses  against  hirn  a  betrayal  of  his  infatuated  country. 
You  have  heard  how  he  has  been  in  open  rebellion  against 
King  Christiern,  in  word  and  deed,  having  openly  preached 
insubordination,  and  having  aided  and  abetted  in  the  escape 
of  outlaws,  whom  it  behooved  him  to  deliver  up  to  justice. 
More  especially,  my  lords,  it  becomes  us  to  remember,  that 
he  harboured  under  his  roof  that  arch-rebel  the  Count  Eric 
Voss,  and  was  the  principal  means  of  his  not  falling  into  the 
hands  of  his  pursuers,  when  a  price  was  set  upon  his  head, 
and  when,  so  strong  was  the  scent  of  his  track,  that  he  could 
aot  otherwise  have  escaped.  Recollect,  my  lords,  that,  had 
his  capture  at  that  moment  been  effected,  the  bloodshed  of 
this  awful  rebellion  might  have  probably  been  averted. 

"  Of  these  facts,  and  more  especially  of  the  latter,  there 
can  be  no  doubt,  as  the  Count's  then  Esquire,  Regner  Beron, 
hath  this  day  borne  testimony  before  us,  in  a  manner  at  once 
explicit  and  incontrovertible. 

"  Of  his  daughter,  the  young  lady  now  before  you,  it  hath 
also  been  clearly  proved,  that  she  aided  and  abetted  her 
lather  in  the  same  course  of  treasonable  proceeding,  by 
carrying  food  and  other  necessaries  to  the  church,  wherein 
the  said  Count  lay  concealed. 

"  But  not  only,  my  Lords,  has  the  Curate  been  convicted 
of  treason  against  the  state,  but  he  has  trampled  under  foot 
the  authority  of  the  Mother  Church,  by  open  laudations  and 
commendations  of  the  conduct  of  Luther,  the  German  here- 
tic, whose  damnable  tenets  he  hath  exhibited  a  strong  for- 
wardness to  adopt. 

u  As  there  can  be  no  division  of  opinion  on  such  a  ca3£* 
10 


110      '  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

I  shall  now,  my  Lords,  proceed  to  decree  judgment  in  your 
name." 

After  whispering  for  a  few  seconds  with  the  nobles  more 
immediately  around  him,  and  gathering,  as  it  were,  their 
various  opinions  on  the  sentence  to  be  pronounced,  he  ad* 
vanced  to  the  centre  of  the  hall,  where  the  Curate  and  his 
daughter  were  now  standing  up, — the  one  thoughtful,  yet 
calm  and  resigned,  as  if  he  cared  less  for  his  own  fate  than 
the  misery  he  was  about  to  entail  on  her  ;  the  other  pale  and 
languidly  beautiful,  like  a  flower  that  has  been  vainly  con- 
tending with  the  strong  wind  of  the  tempest,  her  bright  black 
eyes  cast  despondlngly  on  the  floor,  her  hands  clasped  to- 
gether and  hanging  down  before  her,  her  bosom  heaving 
slowly  and  oppressedly,  as  if  a  cumbrous  load  weighed  upon 
her  heart,  and  her  lips  apart,  as  if  her  spirit  fainted  for  lack 
of  free  air. 

"  Curate  of  Suverdsio,"  said  the  judge,  u  out  of  respect 
to  the  memory  of  Count  Eric  Voss,  that  mistaken  nobleman 
who  hath  already  reaped  the  harvest  due  to  his  crimes,  I  am 
commissioned  by  my  brother  judges  to  inform  you,  that  the 
Count  requested,  in  the  event  of  your  ever  being  taken,  our 
asking  the  production  of  a  gold  button,  which  he  gave  you 
as  a  token  of  remembrance ;  and  that,  if  you  could  show  it, 
we  should  deal  more  mercifully  with  you,  for  the  sake  of  one 
who  has  seen  the  end  of  his  fojly.  Rememberest  thou  aught 
of  such  a  thing  ?" 

u  It  is  here — it  is  here!"  cried  Margaret,  startled  from  her 
Niobe-like  reverie,  by  this  unexpected  glimpse  of  sunshine 
breaking  through  the  hitherto  impenetrable  cloud  of  her 
father's  misfortunes  ;  and  producing  from  her  breast  a  button 
which  she  held  up  between  her  finger  and  thumb. 

"Indeed!"  said  the  judge,  "this  is  an  unexpected  cir- 
cumstance, and  will  go  some  way  to  alter  the  features  of  the 
business ;  but  let  me  see  if  it  be  the  real  one,"  he  added, 
throwing  off  his  gown,  and  applying  the  button  which  he 
had  snatched  from  Margaret's  hand,  to  a  vacancy  on  the 
triple  row  which  ornamented  his  own  tunic. 

The  Curate  started  back  in  astonishment.  "  It  is  he, — it 
is  he  himself,"  cried  the  daughter.  "  It  is  Count  Eric  Voss  ; 
it  is  the  Count!  Stand  away,  stand  away,  father,  and  let 
me  throw  myself  at  his  feet!"  and  so  saying,  she  rushed 
suddenly  forward,  and  throwing  herself  down  on  the  floor, 
seized  hold  of  the  under  hem  of  his  garment. 


THE    CURATE    OF  SUVERDSIO.  1  1 1 

•'This  must  not — cannot  be,"  said  the  Count.  "  Come 
hither  Beron  ;  and,  since  you  have  had  the  audacity  to  appear 
this  day  as  a  witness  against  those  who  hospitably  received 
us  both,  you  must  make  atonement  to  the  injured  feelings  of 
a  father,  by  thus  taking  from  me  the  hand  of  his  mireh-loved 
child.  Her  heart  is  already  pledged  ;  and  she  dares  not  say 
me  nay.  Henceforth  regard  her  as  your  own.  The  castle 
of  Othorstone  hath  as  yet  no  mistress,— let  this  day  that 
deficiency  be  supplied  " 

"  No,  no,"  cried  Margaret,  springing  to  her  feet,  and  half 
bewildered  in  the  perplexity  of  her  feelings.  u  If  he  be  not 
a  true  Swede,  though  he  were  the  Emperor  of  Allemaine, 
he  should  be  no  husband  of  mine  !" 

tfc  Ah  but,  Margaret,"  said  Count  Beron,  soothingly,  and 
still  holding  bv  the  hand  she  had  but  half  withdrawn,  "  in 
this  I  fear  you  have  but  little  choice,  since  the  Administrator 
commands  it." 

uThe  Administrator!"  cried  the  Curate,  still  more  and 
more  perplexed. 

fcwThe  Administrator!"  cried  Margaret,  her  cheek  blush- 
ing, and  scarcely  deigning  to  believe  her  ears,  which  tingled 
as  if  all  the  great  bells  of  Moscow  had  rung  an  alarum. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  Count  Eric  Voss,  "  in  me  you  behold 
Gustavus  Vasa.  1  came  to  your  door,  my  worthy  friends, 
hungry,  and  ye  gave  me  food, — naked,  and  ye  warmed 
me — friendless  and  a  fugitive,  and  ye  visited  me  in  my  soli- 
tude." 

"  Pardon  the  whimsical  way  I  have  taken  to  show  my 
gratitude  ;  but  believe  me,"  he  added,  laying  his  hand  on  his 
heart,  "  that  it  is  not  trie  Aesi  sincere  on  that  account.  I 
could  have  adopted  no  other  method  of  bringing  you  before 
the  assembled  representatives  of  Sweden,  in  whose  presence 
I  now  profess  my  obligations  to  you  ;  and  thus,  taking  you 
by  the  hand,  declare  myself  proud  in  calling  the  Curate  of 
Suverdsio  my  friend . 

"  I  have  ventured  to  unite  before  you,  the  hands  of  a  pair 
whose  hearts,  I  understand,  have  been  long  united.  Do  you 
proceed  in  cementing,  more  securely,  according  to  the  laws 
of  the  Church,  what  I  have  done  merely  in  outward  form. 
Bear  no  scruple  towards  your  intended  son  ;  for,  believe  me, 
if  he  is  a  renegade,  it  has  merely  been  in  deserting  from  the 
phalanx  of  oppression,  to  risk  his  blood  under  the  standard 
of  a  £aw  seemingly  inefficient*revolutionists.    He  has  proved 


112  LIFE    OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

a  true  man  and  a  brave  ;  and  scarcely  hath  the  gratitude  o\ 
his  country  deemed  the  title  of  Count  a  sufficient  equivalent 
for  his  many  and  important  services. 

"  I  rejoice,  at  the  same  time,  to  inform  you  of  a  resolution 
not  yet  publicly  promulgated.  This  honourable  assembly, 
not  resting  content  with  merely  emancipating  our  dear  coun- 
try from  the  manacles  of  civil  bondage,  have  decreed  its 
release  from  the  tyrannical  dominion  of  Rome  ;  and  ordain 
you,  henceforward  from  this  day,  to  preach  the  doctrines  of 
reformation. " 

We  shall  not  attempt  in  words  any  description  of  the 
ecstacy  of  the  honest  Curate.  The  sincerity  of  his  heart 
he  had  shown  in  adversity,  and  the  same  was  unchanged 
and  unaltered  in  this  his  more  prosperous  hour.  To  all  the 
pressing  offers  of  dignity  which  Gustavus  made,  his  only 
reply  was,  ttiat  he  had  found  real  happiness  to  consist  in 
inward  consciousness,  and  not  in  external  parade  ;  that  he 
trusted  he  would  not  entice  him  away  from  the  charge  of  his 
mountain  flock, — with  them  he  had  been  born  and  bred, — 
on  him  they  looked  as  a  father, — among  them  had  glided 
away  the  happiness  of  his  youthful  days, — to  them  he  had 
expounded  the  doctrines  of  eternal  life, — and  now,  that  a 
clearer  light  had  been  permitted  to  dawn  in  on  their  souls,  he 
could  find  no  earthly  satisfaction  equal  to  that  of  being  per- 
mitted to  communicate  it  to  them. 

Why  lengthen  our  joyous  tare  ?  Suffice  it  to  say,  that 
preparations  were  made  for  a  magnificent  wedding ;  and 
that  the  whole  Court  of  Sweden  were  invited  to  behold  the 
nuptials  of  the  Curate's  daughter  who  had  preserved  the 
life  of  Gustavus  Vasa, — and  of  Count  Reger  Beron,  one  of 
the  best  and  bravest  of  his  generals.  The  Curate  pronounced 
his  paternal  blessing  over  them. 

Need  it  be  told,  how,  returning,  honourably  escorted,  and 
basking  in  the  sunshine  of  the  Administrators  favour,  the 
Curate  became  the  most  distinguished  man  in  his  native  dis- 
trict ;  nor,  unto  this  day,  have  the  mountains  of  Dalecarlia 
beheld  a  curate  honoured  like  him  of  Suverdsio. 

On  reaching  home,  the  Curate  summoned  Gunnar  to  re- 
ceive from  the  Count  a  purse  of  gold,  as  a  grateful  testi- 
monial  of  his  remembered  services.  Gunnar,  with  an  awk- 
ward scratch  of  his  head,  said  that  he  would  as  lief  have 
something  else,  which  his  master,  after  half  a  minute's  cross 
questioning,  discovered  to  be  the  hand  of  Katharine.     In 


THE    CURATE    OF   SUVERDSIO.  113 

the  course  of  a  few  days  he  was  enabled  to  render  him  the 
happiest  man  among  the  hills,  by  giving  him  both. 

After  these  transactions,  by  which  some  tinge  of  romance 
was  infused  into  the  dull  leaven  of  the  occurrences  of  com- 
mon life,  the  Curate  had  many  useful  years  added  to  the  span 
of  his  felicities, — beholding  his  family  honoured  and  nour- 
ishing around  him,  —his  country  independent,  happy,  and 
prosperous, — and  the  bright  sunshine  of  the  reformation 
scattering  from  the  face  of  the  land  the  Cimmerian  darkness 
of  papal  superstition. 

Generations  have  passed  away — centuries  have  revolved 
since  then,  and  our  tale  is  but  a  leaf  torn  out  from  the  bypast 
volume  of  human  transactions,  having  for  its  moral,  that 
"  purity  of  life  hath  for  its  reward  the  promise  of  the  life  that 
now  is,  as  well  as  of  that  which  is  to  come.""  To  attest  its 
truth,  the  parish  church  of  Suverdsio,  among  the  Dalecarfian 
hills,  yet  bears  on  its  top  the  large  gilt  copper  crown,  which 
was  placed  there  by  order  of  the  Swedish  Senate ;  and  its 
revered  walls  are  still  pointed  out  to  the  traveller  as  those 
within  which  Gustavus  Vasa  found  an  asylum  from  the  pur- 
suit of  his  enemies. 


Now,  upon  the  honour  of  an  elder  of  the  kirk,  and  a 
member  of  the  tailor  incorporation,  ye  have  the  whole  of  the 
unknown  gentleman's  story,  word  for  word,  as  it  is  set  down 
in  the  papers  found  by  me  in  the  side  pocket  of  the  grand 
velvet  coat,  bought  from  the  auld-farrant  Welsh  flunky  with 
the  peaked  hat  and  the  pigtail.  To  say  nothing  of  the  man 
and  his  master,  being  now  "  down  among  the  dead  men," 
good  right  have  I  to  print  every  thing  I  can  find  to  make  ends 
meet.     But  ye  '11  hear. 

In  the  Yankee  almanac  of  Poor  Richard,  which  I 
sometimes  read,  it  is  set  down,  with  great  rationality,  that 
M  we  should  never  buy  for  the  bargain's  sake."  I  found  this 
to  my  cost  in  this  matter ;  for,  cheap  as  the  coat  and  waistcoat 
seemed,  I  made  no  great  shakes  of  them  after  all.  After 
hanging  at  my  window  for  two  or  three  months,  collecting  all 
the  idle  wives  and  ragged  weans  of  the  parish  to  glowr  and 
gaze  at  them  from  morn  till  night,  during  which  time  I  got  half 
10* 


114  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    YVAUCir. 

of  my  lozens  broken  by  their  knocking  one  another  > 
heads  through,  I  was  obliged  to  get  quit  of  them  at  last,  by 
selling  them  to  a  man  and  his  son  that  kepi  dancing  dogs. 
Pan's  pipes,  and  a  tambourine  ;  and  that  made  a  livelihood 
by  tumbling  on  a  carpet  in  the  middle  of  the  street,  the  one 
playing  as  the  other  whummled  head  over  heels. 

Knowing  that  they  were  not  for  every  body's  wear,  and 
that  the  like  of  them  were  not  to  be  found  in  a  country  side. 
I  put  a  decent  price  on  them  ;  "  foreign  birds  with  fair  fea- 
thers" aye  taking  the  top  place  of  the  market.  When  I 
mentioned  forty  shillings  to  the  dancing-dog  man  and  his 
son,  they  said  nothing,  but  took  up  their  hats,  wishing  me  a 
good  day  ;  but,  next  forenoon,  a  slight-of-hand  man>  having 
arrived,  that  was  likely  to  take  the  shine  out  of  them,  and 
may  be  purchase  my  article — which  was  capital  for  his  pur- 
pose, having  famous  wide  sleeves,  they, came  back,  asking 
the  liberty  of  taking  them  home  to  their  lodgings  for  ten 
minutes,  to  see  how  they  would  fit ;  and  in  that  case,  offer- 
ing me  thirty  shillings  and  an  old  flute.  The  old  flute  was 
for  ne5t  to  no  use  at  all,  except  for  wee  Benjie,  poor  thing, 
too-tooing  on,  and  I  told  them  so,  but  would  take  their  offer, 
not  to  quarrel. 

Home  went  the  man,  and  home  went  the  son,  and  home 
went  my  grand  coat  and  waistcoat  over  his  arm ;  but  where 
tbeir  home  lay,  or  whether  the  claes  fitted  or  not,  gudeness 
knows — having  never  to  this  blessed  day  heard  word  or  wittens 
of  them.  It  just  shows  us  how  simple  Scotch  folk  are.  The 
Englishcr  swindled  me  out  of  my  room-rent  and  my  Sunday 
velveteens  :  the  Eirishers  made  free  with  my  hen-house,  com- 
mitting black  robbery  at  the  dead  hour  of  night :  and  here 
a  decent  looking  auld  Welshman,  with  a  pig-tail,  palmed  a 
grand  coat  and  waistcoat  upon  me,  that  were  made  awav 
with  by  a  man  and  his  son,  too  long  out  of  Botany  Bay. 

Verily,  verily,  this  is  a  wicked  world.' 


VOLUNTEERING .  11  6 


CHAPTER    XIL 

VOLUNTEERING. 

Come  from  the  hills  where  your  hirsels  are  grazing; 

Come  from  the  glen  of  the  buck  and  the  roe  ; 
Come  to  the  crag  where  the  beacon  is  blazing, 
Come  with  the  buckler,  the  lance,  and  the  bow  : 
Many  a  banner  spread 
Flutters  above  your  head, 
Many  a  crest  that  is  famous  in  story  : 
Mount  and  make  ready  theity* 
Sons  of  the  mountain  glen, 
Fight  for  the  King,  and  our  old  Scottish  glory. 

Sir  Walter  Scott's  Monastery, 

The  sough  of  war  and  invasion  flew  o'er  the  face  of  the 
land,  at  this  time,  like  a  great  whirlwind  ;  and  the  hearts  of 
men  died  within  their  persons  with  fear  and  trembling.  The 
accounts  that  came  from  abroad  were  just  dreadful  beyond 
all  power  of  description:  Death  stalked  about  from  place  to 
place,  like  a  lawless  tyrant,  and  the  blood  of  men  was  spill 
like  water.  The  heads  of  crowned  kings  were  cut  off;  and 
great  dukes  and  lords  were  thrown  into  dark  dungeons,  or 
obligated  to  flee  for  their  lives  into  foreign  lands,  and  to 
seek  out  hiding  places  of  safety  beyond  the  waves  of  the 
sea.  What  was  worst  of  all,  our  trouble  seemed  a  smitta! 
one  ;  the  infection  spread  around  ;  and  even  our  own  land* 
which  all  thought  hale  and  healthy,  began  to  show  symptoms 
of  the  plague-spot.  Losh  me !  that  men,  in  their  seven  senses, 
could  have  ever  shown  themselves  so  infatuated.  Johnny 
Wilkes  and  liberty  was  but  a  joke  to  what  was  hanging  over 
our  heads,  brewing  like  a  dark  tempest  which  was  to  swal- 
low us  up.  Bills  were  posted  up  through  night,  by  hands 
that  durst  not  have  been  seen  at  the  work  through  day  ;  and 
the  agents  of  the  Spirit  of  Darkness  calling  themselves  the 
friends  of  the  people,  held  secret  meetings  and  hatched  plots 
to  blow  up  our  blessed  King  and  Constitution. 

Yet  the  business,  though  fearsome  in  the  main,  was  in 
some  parts  almost  laughable.  Every  thing  was  to  be  divided, 
and  every  one  made  alike  :  houses  and  lands  were  to  be  dis- 
tributed by  lot ;  and  the  mighty  man  and  the  beggar, — trm 


UG  LIFE  OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

auld  man  and  the  hobble-de-hoy — the  industrious  man  and 
the  spendthrift — the  maimed,  the  cripple,  and  the  blind,  made 
all  just  brethren,  and  alike.  Save  us  !  but  to  think  of  such 
havers  ! ! — At  one  of  their  meetings,  held  at  the  sign  of  the 
Tappet-hen  arid  the  Tankard,  there  was  a  prime  fight  between 
Tammy  Bowsie  the  snab,  and  auld  Thrashem  the  dominie 
with  the  bouhe-back,  about  their  drawing  cuts,  which  was  to 
get  Dalkeith  Palace,  and  which  New  battle  Abbey.  Oh,  sic 
riffraff!!! 

What  was  worst  of  all,  it  was  an  agreed  and  deter- 
mined-on  thing  among  them,  these  wise  men  of  the  north, 
to  abolish  all  kings,  clergy,  and  religion,  as  havers.  JNo,  no 
— what  need  had  <uch  wise  pows  as  theirs,  of  being  taught 
or  lectured  to  ?  W^hfct  need  had  such  fbelosophers  of  having 
a  King  to  rule  over  them,  or  a  Parliament  to  direct  them  ? 
There  was  not  a  single  one  among  their  number,  that  did 
not  think  himself,  in  [us  own  conceit,  as  wise  as  Solomon, 
or  William  Pitt,  and  as  mignty  as  King  Nebuchadnezzar. 
.  It  was  full  time  to  put  a  stop  to  all  such  nonsense.  The 
newspapers  told  us  what  it  had  done  abroad  ;  and  what  better 
could  we  expect  from  it  at  home  ?  Weeds  will  not  grow  into 
flowers  anywhere,  and  no  man  can  handle  tar  without  being 
defiled  ;  the  first  of  which  comparisons  is,  I  daresay,  true,  and 
the  latter  must  be — lor  we  read  of  it  in  Scripture.  Well,  as 
I  was  saying,  it  was  a  brave  notion  of  the  King  to  put  the 
loyalty  of  his  land  to  the  test,  that  the  daft  folk  might  be  dis- 
mayed, and  that  the  clanjamphrey  might  be  tumbled  down 
before  their  betters,  like  windle-straes  in  a  hurricane  : — and 
so  they  were. 

Such  a  crowd  that  day,  when  the  names  of  the  volunteers 
came  to  be  taken  down  !  No  house  could  have  held  them, 
even  though  many  had  not  come,  who  thought  to  have  got 
their  names  enrolled.  Losh  me  !  did  they  think  the  govern- 
ment was  so  far  gone,  as  to  take  creatures  with  deformed 
legs,  and  thrawn  necks,  and  blind  een,  and  hashie  lips,  and 
gray  hairs  on  their  pows  ?  No,  no,  they  were  not  put  to 
such  straits  ;  though  it  showed  that  the  right  spirit  was  in 
them,  and  that,  though  their  bodies  might  be  deformed,  ihey 
had  consciences  to  direct  them,  and  souls  to  be  saved  like 
their  neighbours. 

1  will  never  forget  the  first  day  that  I  got  my  regimentals 
on;  and  when  I  looked  myself  in  the  bit  glass,  just  to  think 
I  was  a  sodger,  who  never  in  my  life  could  thole  the  smell 


VOLUNTEERING.  '-..  117" 

of  powder,  and  had  not  fired  anything  but  a  penny  cannon 
on  a  Fourth  of  June,  when  I  was  a  haflins  callant.  I  though?, 
my  throat  would  have  been  cut  with  the  black  corded  stock  ; 
for,  whenever  1  looked  down,  without  thinking  like,  my 
chaft-blade  played  clank  against  it,  with  such  a  dunt  that  F 
mostly  chacked  my  tongue  off.  And,  as  to  the  soaping  of 
the  hair,  that  beat  cock-fighting.  It  was  really  fearsome  ; 
but  I  could  scarcely  keep  from  laughing  when  I  glee'd  round 
over  my  shouther,  and  saw  a  long  glazed  leather  queue 
hanging  for  half  an  ell  down  the  braid  of  my  back,  and  a 
pickle  horse  hair  curling  out  like  a  rotten's  tail  at  the  far 
end  of  it.  And  then  the  worsted  taissels  on  the  shouthers 
— and  the  lead  buttons — and  the  yellow  facings, — oh,  but  it 
was  grand  !  I  sometimes  fancied  myself  a  general,  and  giv- 
ing the  word  of  command.  Then  the  pipe-clayed  breeks— 
but  that  was  a  sore  job  ;  many  a  weary  arm  did  they  give 
me — beat-beating  camstane  into  them. 

The  pipe-claying  of  the  breeches,  I  was  saying,  was  the. 
most  fashious  job,  let  alone  courtship,  that  ever  mortal  man 
put  his  hand  to.  Indeed,  there  was  no  end  to  the  rubbing, 
and  scrubbing,  and  brushing,  and  fyling,  and  cleaning  ;  for* 
to  the  like  of  "me,  who  was  not  well  accustomed  to  the  thing, 
the  whitening  was  continually  coming  off  and  destroying  my 
red  coat,  or  my  black  Jeggins.  I  had  mostly  forgot  to  speak 
of  the  birse  for  cleaning  out  the  pan,  and  the  piker  for  clear- 
ing the  motion-hole.  But  time  enough  till  we  come  to 
firing. 

Big  Sam,  who  was  a  sergeant  of  the  Fencibles,  and  enough 
to  have  put  five  Frenchmen  to  flight  any  day  of  the  year, 
whiles  came  to  train  us  ;  and  a  hard  battle  he  had  with  more 
than  me.  I  have  already  said,  that  nature  never  intended 
me  for  the  soldiering  trade  ;  and  why  should  I  hesitate  about 
confessing,  that  Sam  never  got  me  out  of  the  awkward 
squad  ?  But  I  had  two  or  three  neighbours  to  keep  me  in 
countenance.  A  weary  work  we  made  with  the  right,  left, 
— left,  right, — right  wheel,  left-wheel, — to  the  right-about, — 
at  ease, — attention, — by  sections, — and  all  the  rest  of  it.  But 
then  there  is  nothing  in  the  course  of  nature  that  is  useless  ; 
and  what  was  to  hinder  me  from  acting  as  orderly,  or  being 
one  of  the  camp-colour-men  on  bead  days  ? 

We  all  cracked  very  crouse  about  fighting,  when  we  heard 
of  garments  rolled  in  blood,  only  from  abroad;  but  one  dark 
night,  we  got  a  fleg  in  sober  earnest. 


118  LIFE    OP   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

There  were  signal-posts  on  the  hills,  up  and  down  all  the 
country,  to  make  alarms,  in  case  of  necessity  ;  and  I  never 
went  to  my  bed  without  giving  first  a  glee  eastward  to  Fal- 
side-brae,  and  then  another  westward  to  the  Calton-hill,  to 
see  that  all  the  country  was  quiet.  I  had  just  papped  in — 
■  it  might  be  about  nine  oNclock, — after  being  gay  hard  drilled, 
and  sore  between  the  shouthers.  with  keeping  my  head  back, 
and  playing  the  dumb  bells  ,  when  lo!  and  behold,  instead 
of  getting  my  needful  rest,  in  my  own  bed,  with  my  wife  and 
wean,  jow  gaed  the  bell,  and  row-Ue-dow  gaed  the  drums, 
and  all,  in  a  minute,  was  confusion  and  uproar.  I  was  seized 
with  a  severe  shaking  of  the  knees,  and  a  flaffing  at  the  heart ; 
but  I  hurried,  with  my  night-cap  on,  up  to  the  garret  win- 
dow, and  there  f  too  plainly  saw  that  the  French  had  landed — 
for  all  the  signal-posts  were  in  a  bleeze.  This  was  in  reality 
to  be  a  soldier !  I  never  got  such  a  fright  since  the  day  I  was 
cleckit.  Then  such  a  noise  and  hullabaloo,  in  the  streets — 
men,  women,  and  weans,  all  hurrying  through  ither,  and 
crying  with  loud  voices,  amid' the  dark,  as  if  the  day  of  judg- 
ment had  come,  to  find  us  all  unprepared  ;  and  still  the  bells 
ringing  and  the  drums  beating  to  arms.  Poor  Nanse  was  in  a 
bad  condition,  and  I  was  well  worse  ;  she,  at  the  fears  of 
losing  me,  their  bread-winner ;  and  I  with  the  grief  of  parting 
from  her,  the  wife  of  my  bosom,  and  going  out  to  scenes  of 
blood,  bayonets,  and  gunpowder,  none  of  which  I  had  the 
least  stomach  for.  Our  little  son,  Benjie,  mostly  grat  him- 
self blind,  pulling  me  hack  by  the  cartridge-box  -a  but  there 
was  no  contending  with  fate,  so  he  was  obliged  at  last  to 
let  go. 

Notwithstanding  all  that,  we  behaved  ourselves  like  true- 
blue  Scotsmen,  called  forth  to  fight  the  battles  of  our 
country  ;  and,  if  the  French  had  come,  as  they  did  not  come, 
they  would  have  found  that  to  their  cost,  as  sure  as  my  name 
is  Mansie.  However,  it  turned  out  as  well,  in  the  meantime, 
that  it  was  a  false  alarm,  and  that  the  Chief  Buonaparte  .had 
not  landed  at  Dunbar,  as  it  was  jaloused  :  so,  after  standing 
under  arms  for  half  the  night.  With  nineteen  rounds  of  ball- 
cartridge  in  our  boxes,  ami  the  baggage  carts  all  loaden,  and 
ready  to  follow  us  to  the  field  of  battle,  we  were  sent  home 
to  our  beds  ;  and  notwithstanding  the  awful  state  of  alarm  to 
which  I  had  been  put,  never  in  the  course  of  my  life  did  I 
enjoy  six  hours  sounder  sleep  ;  for  we  were  hippet  the  morn- 
ing parade,  on  account  of  our  being  kept  so  long  without 


VOLUNTEERING.  119 

natural  rest.  It  is  wise  to  pick  a  lesson  even  out  of  our  ad- 
versities ;  and,  at  all  events,  it  was  at  this  time  fully  shown 
to  us  the  necessity  of  our  regiment  being  taught  the  art  of 
firing  ;  a  tactic  to  the  length  of  which  they  had  never  yet 
come. 

Next  day,  out  we  were  taken  for  the  whilk  purpose,  and 
we  Went  through  our  motions  bravely.  Prime  ;  load  ;  handle 
cartridge  ;  ram  down  cartridge  ;  return  bayonets  ;  and  shoul- 
der hoop  ;  make  ready  ;  present ;  fire.  Such  was  the  confu- 
sion, and  the  flurry,  and  the  din  of  the  report,.that  I  was  so 
flustered  and  confused,  that,  will  ye  believe  it  ?  I  never  yet 
had  mind  to  pull  the  tricker.  Howsomever,  I  minded  aye 
with  the  rest  to  ram  down  a  fresh  cartridge,  at  the  word  of 
command  ;  and  something  told  me  I  would  repent  not  doing 
like  the  rest,  (for  I  had  half  a  kind  of  notion  that  my  piece 
never  went  off;)  so,  when  firing  was  over,  the  sergeant  of 
the  company  ordered  all  that  had  loaded  pieces  to  come  to 
the  front.  I  swithered  a  little,  not  being  very  sure  like  what 
to  do  ;  but  some  five  or  six  -stept  out ;  and  our  corporal,  on 
looking  at  my  piece,  ordered  me  with  the  rest  to  the  front. 
It  was  just  by  all  the  world  like  an  execution  ;  us  six,  in  the 
face  of  the  regiment,  in  a  little  line,  going  through  our  ma- 
noeuvres at  the  word  of  command  ;  and  I  could  hardly  stand 
upon  my  feet,  with  a  queer  feeling  of  fear  and  trembling,  till, 
at  length,  the  terrible  moment  came.  IMooked  straight  for- 
ward ;  for  I  durst  not  jee  my  head  about,  and  turned  to  the 
hills  and  green  trees,  as  if  F  was  never  to  see  nature  more. 

Our  pieces  were  cocked  ;  and,  at  the  word,  off  they  went. 
It  was  an  act  of  desperation  to  draw  the  tricker,  and  I  had 
hardly  well  shut  my  eyes,  when  I  got  such  a  thump  in  the 
shoulder,  as  knocked  me  backwards  head-over  heels  on  the 
grass.  Before  I  came  to  my  senses,  I  could  have  sworn  I 
was  in  another  world  ;  but,  when  I  opened  my  eyes,  there 
were  the  men  at  ease,  holding  their  sides,  laughing  like  to 
spleet  them  ;  and  my  gun  lying  on  the  ground,  two  or  three 
ell  before  me. 

When  I  found  myself  not  killed  outright,  I  began  to  rise 
up.  As  I  was  rubbing  my  breek-knees,  I  saw  one  of  the 
men  going  forward  to  lift  up  the  fatal  piece  ;  and  my  care  for 
the  safety  of  others  overcame  the  sense  of  my  own  peril, — 
41  Let  alane--let  alane !"  cried  1  to  him,  "  and  take  care  of 
yoursell,  for  it  has  to  gang  off  five  times  yet." 

The  laughing  was  now  terrible  ;  but  being  little  of  a  sol- 


*20  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 

dier  I  thought  in  my  innocence,  that  we  should  hear  as  many' 
reports  as  I  had  crammed  cartridges  down  her  muzzle.  This 
was  a  sore  joke  against  me  for  a  length  of  time  ;  but  I  tholed 
it  patiently,  considering  cannily  within  myself,  that  know- 
ledge is  only  to  be  bought  by  experience.  A  fool  once 
showed  me  the  story  afterwards  in  a  jest-book,  as  if  it  was 
not  true  ! !  ? 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THE  CHINC0UG1I    riLGMMAGf:. 

.Man  hatli  a  weary  pilgrimage 

As  through  the  world  he  wends : 
On  every  stage  from  youth  to  age 

Still  discontent  attends. 
With  heaviness  he  casts  his  eye 

Upon  the  road  before, 
And  still  remembers  with  a  sigh 

The  days  that  are  no  more. 

Southed 

Some  folks  having  been  bred  up  from  their  cradle  to  the 
writing  of  books,  of  course  naturally  do  the  thing  regularly 
and  scientifically,  but  that 's  not  to  be  expected  from  the  like 
of  me,  that  have  followed  no  other  way  of  life  than  the 
shaping  and  sewing  line.  It  behooves  me,  therefore,  to  beg 
pardon  for  not  being  able  to  carry  my  history  aye  regularly 
straight  forward,  and  for  being  forced  whiles  to*zig-zag  and 
vandyke.  For  instance,  I  clean  forgot  to  give,  in  its  proper 
place,  a  history  of  one  of  my  travels  with  Benjie  in  my 
bosom,  in  search  of  a  cure  for  the  chincough. 

My  son  Benjie,  was,  at  this  'dividual  time,  between  four 
and  five  years  old,  when,  poor  wee  chieldie,  he  took  the  chin- 
cough,  and  in  more  respects  than  one  was  not  in  a  good 
way  ;  so  the  doctor  recommended  his  mother  and  me,  for 
the  change  of  air,  first  to  carry  him  down  a  coal-pit,  and 
syne  to  the  limekilns  at  Cousland. 

The  coal-pit  I  could  not  think  of  at  all ;  to  say  nothing 
of  the  danger  of  swinging  down  into  the  bowels  of  the 
earth  in  a  creel,  the  thing  aye  put  me  in  mind  of  the  awful 
place,  where  the  wicked,  after  death  and  judgment,  bowh 


THE   CHINCOUGH    PILGRIMAGE.  121 

utid  hiss,  and  gnash  their  teeth  ;  and  where— unless  Heaven 
be  more  merciful  than  we  are  just — we  may  all  be  soon 
enough.  So  I  could  not  think  of  that,  till  all  other  human 
means  failed  ;  and  1  determined,  in  the  first  place,  to  hire 
Tammy  Dobie's  cart,  and  try  a  smell  of  the  fresh  air  about 
the  limekilns. 

It  was  a  fine  July  forenoon,  and  the  cart,  filled  with  clean 
straw,  was  at  the  door  by  eleven  o'clock  ;  so  our  wife  handed 
us  out  a  pair  of  blankets  to  hap  round  me,  and  syne  little 
Benjie  into  my  arms,  with  his  big-coatie  on,  and  his  leather 
cappie  tied  below  his  chin,  and  a  bit  red  worsted  comforterie 
round  his  neck  ;  for,  though  the  sun  was  warm  and  pleasant 
withal,  we  dreaded  cold,  as  the  doctor  bade  us.  Oh,  he  was 
a  fine  auld  man,  Doctor  Hartshorn ! 

We  had  not  well  got  out  of  the  town,  when  Tammie 
Dobbie  louped  up  on  the  fore-tram.  He  was  a  crouse, 
cantie  auld  cock,  having  seen  muclf  and  not  little  in  his  day, 
so  he  began  a  pleasant  confab,  pointing  out  all  the  gentle- 
men's houses  round  the  country,  and  the  names  of  the  farms 
on  the  jiiH  sidesf  To  one  like  me,  whose  occupations  tie 
him  to  the  town-foot,  it  really  is  a  sweet  and  grateful  thing 
to  be  let  loose,  as  it  were,  for  a  wee  among  the  scenes  of 
peace  and  quietness,  where  nature  is  in  a  way  wild  and 
wanton — where  the  clouds  above  our  heads  seem  to  sail 
along  more  grandly  over  the  bosom  of  the  sky,  and  the  wee 
birds  to  cheep  and  churm,  from  the  hedges  among  the  fields, 
with  greater  pleasure,  feeling  that  they  are  God's  free 
creatures. 

I  cannot  tell  how  many  thoughts  came  over  my  mind,  one 
after  another,  like  the  waves  of  the  sea  down  on  Musselburgh 
beach  ;  but  especially  the  days  when  1  was  a  wee  callstnt 
with  a  daidly  at  Dominie  Duncan's  school,  were  fresh  in  my 
mind  as  if  the  time  had  been  but  yesterday  ;  though  much, 
much  was  I  changed  since  then,  being  at  that  time  a  little, 
careless,  ragged  laddie,  and  now  the  head  of  a  family,  earn- 
ing bread  to  my  wife  and  wean  by  the  sweat  of  my  brow. 
.1  thought  on  the  blythe  summer  days  when  I  dandered  about 
the  braes  and  bushes  seeking  birds'-nests  with  Alick  Bowsie 
and  Samuel  Search ;  and  of  the  time  when  we  stood  upon 
one  another's  backs,  to  speil  up  to  the  ripe  cherries  that  hung 
over  the  garden  walls  of  Woodburn.  Awful  changes  had 
taken  place  since  then  !  I  had  seen  Sammy  Search  die  of  the 
black  jaundice  ;  and  poor  Alick  Bowsie  married  to  a  drucker* 
11 


122  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

randie,  that  wore  the  breeks,  and  did  not  allow  the  misfortu- 
nate  creature  the  life  of  a  dog. 

When  1  was  meditating  thu3,  after  the  manner  of  the 
patriarch  Isaac,  there  was  a  pleasant  sadness  at  my  heart, 
though  it  was  like  to  leap  to  my  mouth  ;  but  I  could  not  get 
leave  to  enjoy  it  long  for  the  tongue  of  Tammie  Dobbie. 
He  bade  me  look  over  into  a  field,  about  the  middle  of  which 
were  some  wooden  railings  round  the  black  gaping  moutfy 
of  a  coal-pit.  "  Div  ye  see  that  dark  bit  owre  yonder  amang 
the  green  clover,  wi'  the  sticks  about  it  ?"  asked  Tammie. 

"  Yes,"  said  1  ;  "  and  what  for  ?" 

"Weil,  do  ye  ken,"  quo'  Tammie,  u  that  has  been  a 
weary  place  to  mair  than  ane.  Tvva  three  year  ago  some 
o'  the  collyer  bodies  were  choked  to  death  down  below  wi' 
a  blast  of  foul  air  ;  and  a  pour  o'  orphan  weans  they  left 
behint  them  on  the  cauldrife  parish.  But  ye  '11  mind  Horn'em 
the  sherry-officer,  wi1  the  tbravvn  shouther ?" 

"  Ou,  bravely  ;  1  believe  he  came  to  some  untimeous  Gnd 
hereaway  abouts  ?" 

;t  Just  in  that  spat,"  answered  Tammie.  "  He  was  a 
drucken,  blustering  chield,  as  ye  mind ;  fearing  neither  man 
nor  de'il,  and  living  a  wild,  wicked,  regardless  life ;  but, 
puir  man,  that  couldna  aye  last.  He  had  been  bouzing 
about  the  countryside  somehow — maybe  harrying  out  oi 
house  and  hald  some  puir  bodies  that  hadna  the  wherewith 
to  pay  their  rents  ;  so,  in  riding  hame  fou — it  was  pit-mirk, 
and  the  rain  pouring  down  in  bucketfu's, — he  became  dumb- 
foundered  wi'  the  darkness  and  the  dramming  thegether  ; 
and,  losing  his  way,  wandered  about  the  fields,  hauling  his 
mare  after  him  by  the  bridle.  In  the  morning  the  beast  was 
found  nibbling  away  at  the  grass  owre  by  yonder,  wi'  the 
saddle  upon  its  back,  and  a  broken  bridle  hinging  down 
about  its  fore-legs,  by  the  which  the  folks  round  were  putten 
upon  the  scent ;  for,  on  making  search  down  yon  pit,  he  was 
fund  at  the  bottom,  wi'  his  brains  smashed  about  him,  and 
his  legs  and  arms  broken  to  chitters !" 

u  Save  us  !"  said  1,  "  it  makes  a'  my  flesh  grue." 

"  Weil  it  may,"  answered  Tammie, 4*  or  the  story's  lost  in 
the  telling ;  for  the  collyers  that  fand  him  shook  as  if  they 
had  been  seized  wi'  the  ague.  The  dumb  animal,  ye  observe, 
had  far  mair  sense  than  him  ;  for,  when  his  fitting  gaed  way, 
instead  of  following,  it  had  plunged  back,  and  the  bit  o'  the 


my  lord's  races.  123 

bridle,  that  had  broken,  was  still  in  his  grup,  when  they  spied 
him  wi'  their  lanterns." 

"  It  was  an  awful  like  way  to  leave  the  world,"  said  I. 
U  'Deed  it  was,  and  nae  less,"  answered  Tammie,  "to  gang 
to  his  lang  account  in  the  middle  of  his  mad  thochtlessness, 
without  a  moment's  warning.  But  see  yonder  's  Cousland 
lying  right  forrit  to  the  east  hand." 

At  this  very  nick  of  time  Benjie  was  seized  with  a  severe 
kink  ;  so  Tammie  stopped  his  cart,  and  F  held  his  head  over 
the  side  of  it  till  the  cough  went  by.  I  thought  his  inside 
would  have  jumped  out  ;  but  he  fell  sound  asleep  in  two  or 
three  minutes;  and  we  jogged  on  till  we  came  to  the  y  ill- 
house  door,  where,  after  louping  out,  we  got  a  pickle  pease 
strae  to  Tammie's  horse. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

MY   LORD'S  RACES. 

Aft*  they  a'  went  gallopping,  gallopping  ; 
Legs  and  arras  a'  wallopping,  wallopping  ; 
De^il  take  the  hindmost,  quo'  Duncan  M'Calapin, 
The  Laird  of  Tillyben,  joe. 

Old  Song\ 

He  wen*  a  little  farther, 

And  turned  his  head  aside, 
And  just  by  Goodman  Whitfield's  gate, 

Oh  there  the  tnare  he  spied. 
He  asked  her  how  she  did, 

She  stared  him  in  the  face, 
Then  down  she  laid  her  head  again — 

She  was  in  wretched  case. 

Old  Poulter's  Mare. 

It  happened  curiously  that,  of  all  the  days  of  the  year, 
this  should  have  been  the  one  on  which  the  Carters'-play 
was  held  ;  and,  by  good  luck,  we  were  just  in  time  to  see 
that  grand  sight.  The  whole  regiment  of  carters  were 
paraded  up  at  my  Lord's  door,  for  so  they  call  their  box 
master  ;  and  a  beautiful  thing  it  was  I  can  assure  ye.  What 
a  sight  of  ribbons  was  on  the  horses  !  Many  a  crame  must 
have  been  emptied  ere  such  a  number  of  manes  and  long 


« 


i£4  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCII. 

tails  could  have  been  busked  out.  The  beasts  themselves 
poor  things,  I  dare  say  wondered  much  at  their  bravery,  and 
no  less  I  am  sure?  did  the  riders.  They  looked  for  all  the 
world  like  living  haberdashery  snops.  Great  bunches  of  wall- 
flower, thyme,  spearment,  and  southernwood,  were  stuck  in 
their  button-holes  ;  and  broad  belts  of  stripped  silk,  of  every 
colour  in  the  rainbow,  were  flung  across  their  shoulders. 
As  to  their  hats,  the  man  would  have  had  a  clear  ee  that 
could  have  kent  what  was  their  shape  or  colour.  They 
were  all  rowed  with  ribbons,  and  puffed  about  the  rim,  with  " 
long  green  or  white  feathers  ;  and  cockades  were  stuck  on 
the  off  side,  to  say  nothing  of  long  strips  fleeing  behind 
them  in  the  wind,  like  streamers.  Save  us !  to  see  men  so 
proud  of  finery  :  if  they  had  been  peacocks  one  would  have 
thought  less  ;  but  in  decent  sober  men,  the  heads  of  small 
families,  and  with  no  great  wages,  the  thing  was  crazy* 
like.  f 

At  long  and  last  we  saw  them  all  set  in  motion  like  a 
regiment  of  dragoons,  two  and  two,  with  a  drum  and  fife  at 
their  head,  as  if  they  had  been  marching  to  the  field  of  battle. 
By  the  by,  it  was  two  of  our  own  volunteer  lads  that  were 
playing  that  day  before  them,  Rory  Skirl,  the  snab,  and 
Geordie  Thump,  the  dyer ;  so  this  ye  see  verified  the  auld 
proverb,  that,  travel  w  here  ye  like,  to  the  world's  end,  ye  '11 
aye  meet  with  kent  faces;  Tammie  and  me  coming  out  to 
the  yill  house  door  to  see  them  pass  by. 

Behind  the  drum  and  fife,  came  a  big  half-crazy  looking 
chield,  with  a  broad  blue  bonnet  on  his  head,  and  a  red 
worsted  cherry  sticking  in  the  crown  of  it.  He  was  carrying 
a  new  car-saddle  over  his  shoulder  on  a  well-cleaned  pitch- 
fork. Syne  came  three  abreast,  one  on  each  side  of  my  Lord, 
being  the  key  keepers  :  he  keeping  the  box,  and  they  keeping 
the  keys,  in  case  like  he  should  take  any  thing  out.  And 
syne  came  the  auld  my  Lord — him  that  was  my  Lord  last 
year,  ye  observe  ;  and  syne  came  the  colours,  as  bright  and 
bonny  as  mostly  any  thing  ye  ever  saw.  On  one  of  them 
was  painted  a  plough  and  harrows,  and  a  man  sowing  wheat; 
over  the  top  of  which  were  gilded  letters,  the  which  I  was 
able  to  read  when  I  put  on  my  specs,  being,  if  I  mind  well, 
"  Speed  the  Plough."  On  the  other  one,  which  was  a 
mazarine  blue,  with  yellow  fringes,  was  the  picture  of  two 
carters,  with  flat  bonnets  on  their  heads,  the  tane  with  a 
whip  in  ^s  hand,  and  the  tither  a  rake,  making  hay  like 


Mi'  lord's  races.  125 

Then  came  they  all  passing"  by  two  and  two,  looking  as  if 
each  one  of  them  had  been  the  Duke  of  Buccleueh  himself, 
every  one  rigged  out  in  his  best  ;  the  young  callants,  such 
like  as  had  just  entered  the  box,  coming  hindmost,  and 
thinking  themselves,  I  dare  say,  no  small  drink,  and  the  day 
a  great  one,  when  they  were  first  allowed  to  be  art  and  part 
in  such  a  grand  procession. 

But,  losh  me !  I  had  mostly  forgot  the  piper,  that  played 
in  the  middle,  as  proud  as  Hezekiah,  that  we  read  of  in  2d 
Kings,  strutting  about  from  side  to  side  with  his  bare  legs 
and  big  buckles,  and  bit  Macgregor  tartan  jacket — his  cheeks 
blown  up  with  wind  like  a  smith's  bellows— the  feathers 
dirling  with  conceit  in  his  bonnet — and  the  drone,  below  his 
oxter,  squeeling  and  skirling  like  an  evil  spirit  tied  up  in  a 
green  bag.  Keep  us  all !  what  gleys  he  gied  about  him  to 
observe  that  the  folk  were  looking  at  him  !  He  put  me  in 
mind  of  the  song  that  auld  Barny  used  to  sing  about  the 
streets — 

Ilka  ane  his  sword  and  dirk  has, 
Ilka  ane  as  proud 's  a  Turk  is  ; 
There 's  the  Grants  o'  Tullochgorura, 
Wi'  their  pipers  gaun  before  'em  ; 
Proud  the  mithers  are  that  bore  'em, 
Feedle,  faddle,  fa,  fum. 

But  who  do  ye  think  should  come  up  to  us  at  this  blessed 
moment,  with  a  staff  in  his  hand,  being  old  now,  and  not 
able  to  ride  in  the  procession,  as  he  had  many  a  time  and 
often  done  before,  but  honest  Saunders  Tram.,  that  had  been 
a  staunch  customer  of  mine  since  the  day  on  which  I  opened 
shop  ;  so  we  shook  hands  jocosely  together,  like  old  ac- 
quaintances, and  the  body  hodged  and  leuch  as  if  he  had 
found  a  fiddle,  he  was  so  glad  to  see  me. 

Benjie  having  fallen  asleep,  Luckie  Barm  of  the  Change, 
a  douce  woman,  put  him  to  his  bed,  and  promised  to  take 
care  of  him  till  we  came  back,  Saunders  Tram  insisting  on 
us  to  go  forward  along  with  him  to  see  the  race.  I  had  no 
great  scruple  to  do  this,  as  1  thought  Benjie  would  likely 
sleep  for  an  hour,  being  wearied  with  the  jooggling  of  the 
cart,  and  having  supped  a  mutchkin  bowlful  of  Luckie  Barm's 
broo  and  bread. 

By  the  time  we  had  tramped  on  to  the  braehead,  two  or 
three  had  booked  for  the  race,  and  were  busy  pulling  away 
the  flowers  that  hung  over  about  their  horses'  lugs,  to  say 
11* 


126  .  LIFE    OFMANSIE    WAtTClf. 

little  of  the  tapes  and  twine,  and  which  made  them  look,  poor 
brutes,  as  if  they  were  not  very  sure  what  was  the  matter 
with  them.  And  there  was  a  terrible  uproar  between  my 
Lord  and  a  man  from  Edinburgh  Grassmarket,  leading  a 
limping  horse,  covered  with  a  dirty  sheet,  with  two  holes 
for  the  beast's  een  looking  out  at. 

But,  for  all  this  outward  care,  the  poor  thing  seemed  very 
like  as  if  wind  was  more  plenty  in  the  land  than  corn,  being 
thin  and  starved-looking,  and  as  lame  as  Vulcan  in  the  off 
hind  leg.  So  ye  see  he  insisted  on  its  not  running  ;  and  the 
man  said  "■  it  had  a  right  to  run  as  well  as  any  other  horse  ;" 
and  my  Lord  said  "  it  had  no  such  thing,  as  it  was  not  in 
the  box  ;"  and  the  man  said  "  he  would  take  out  a  protest ;" 
and  my  Lord  said  "  he  didna  gie  a  bawbee  for  a  protest  ;'* 
and  "  that  he  would  not  allow  him'  to  run  on  any  account, 
whatsoever  ;"  but  the  man  was  throng  all  the  time  they  were 
argle-bargling  taking  the  cover  off  the  beast's  back,  that 
was  ready  saddled,  and  as  accoutred  for  running  as  our  regi- 
ment of  volunteers  was  for  fighting  on  field-days.  So  he 
swore  like  a  trooper,  that,  notwithstanding  all  their  debarring, 
he  would  run  in  spite  qf  their  teeth — both  my  Lord's  teeth, 
ye  observe,  and  that  of  the  two  key-keepers  ; — maybe,  too, 
'  of  the  man  that  carried  the  saddle,  for  he  aye  lent  in  a 
word  at  my  Lord's  back,  egging  him  on  to  stand  out  for  the 
laws. 

To  cut  a  long  tale  short,  the  drum  ruffed,  and  off  set  four 
of  them,  a  black  one,  and  a  white  one,  and  a  brown  one, 
and  the  man's  one,  neck  and  neck,  as  neat  as  ye  like.  The 
race  course  was  along  the  high  road  ;  and,  dog  on  it,  they 
made  a  noise  lise  thunder,  throwing  out  their  big  heavy  feet 
behind  them  ;  and  whisking  their  tails  from  side  to  side  as  if 
they  would  have  dung  out  one  another's  een,  till,  not  being 
used  to  gallop,  they  at  last  began  to  funk  and  fling ;  sync 
first  one  stopping,  and  then  another,  wheeling  round  and 
round  about  like  peeries,  in  spite  of  the  riders  whipping  them 
and  pulling  them  by  the  heads.  The  man's  mare,  hrwever, 
from  the  Grassmarket,  with  the  limping  leg,  carried  on. 
followed  by  the  white  one,  an  old  tough  brute,  that  had  be- 
longed in  its  youth  to  a  trumpeter  of  the  Scots  Greys  ;  and, 
to  tell  the  truth,  it  showed  mettle  still,  though  far  past  its 
best ;  so  back  they  came,  neck  and  neck,  all  the  folk  crying, 
and  holloing,  and  clapping  their  hands — some,  "  Weil  dune 
the  lame  ane — five  shillngs  on  the  lame  ane  :" — and  others. 


MY   L0RD*S   RACES.  127 

**  WoU  run  Bonaparte — at  him,  auld  Bonaparte — two  to  one 
that  Whitey  beats  him  all  to  sticks," — when,  dismal  to  relate, 
the  limping-legged  ane  couped  the  creels,  and  old  white 
Bonaparte  came  in  with  his  tail  cocked  amid  loud  cheering, 
and  no  small  clapping  of  hands. 

We  all  ran  down  the  road  to  the  place  where  the  limping 
horse  was  lying,  for  it  was  never  like  to  rise  up  again  any 
more  than  the  bit  rider,  that  was  thrown  over  its  head  like  an 
arrow  out  of  a  bow  ;  but  on  helping  him  to  his  feet,  save 
and  except  the  fright,  two  wide  screeds  across  his  trowser- 
knees,  and  a  scratch  along  the  brig  of  his  nose,  nothing 
visible  was  to  be  perceived.  It  was  different,  however,  with 
the  limping  horse.  Misfortunate  brute  !  one  of  its  fore  legs 
had  folded  below  it,  and  snapped  through  at  the  fetlock  joint. 
There  was  it  lying  with  a  sad  sorrowful  look,  as  if  it  longed 
for  death  to  come  quick,  and  end  its  miseries  ;  the  blood, 
all  the  while,  gush-gushing  out  at  the  gaping  wound.  To 
all  it  was  as  plain  as  the  A,  B,  C,  that  the  bones  would 
never  knit ;  and  that,  considering  the  case  it  was  in,  it  would 
be  an  act  of  Christian  charity  to  put  the  beast  out  of  pain. 
The  maister  gloomed,  stroked  his  chin,  and  looked  down, 
kenning,  weil-a-wat,  that  he  had  lost  his  bread-winner,  then 
gave  his  head  a  nod,  nod — thrusting  both  his  hands  down  to 
the  bottom  lining  of  the  pockets  of  his  long  square-tailed 
jockey  coat.  He  was  <a  wauf  hallanshaker-looking  cheild, 
with  an  old  broad-snouted  japanned  beaver  hat  pulled  over 
his  brow — one  that  seemed  by  his  phisog  to  hold  the  good 
word  of  the  world  as  nothing — and  that  had,  in  the  course 
of  circumstances,  been  reduced  to  a  kind  of  wild  despera- 
tion, either  by  chance-misfortunes,  cares  and  trials,  or,  what 
is  more  likely,  by  his  own  sinful  regardless  way  of  life. 

"  It  canna  be  helpit,"  he  said,  giving  his  head  a  bit  shake, 
u  it  canna  be  helpit,  friends.  Ay,  Jess,  ye  were  a  gude  ane 
in  yere  day,  lass, — mony  a  penny  and  pound  have  I  made 
out  of  ye.  Which  o'  ye  can  lend  me  a  hand,  lads  ?  Rin 
.away  for  a  gun  some  o'  ye." 

Here  Thomas  Clod  interfered  with  a  small  bit  of  advice 
— a  thing  that  Thomas  was  good  at,  being  a  Cameronian 
elder,  and  accustomed  to  giving  a  word.  "  Wad  ye  no  think 
it  better,"  said  Thomas,  "  to  stick  her  with  a  long  gully- 
knife,  or  a  sharp  shoemaker's  parer.  It  wad  be  an  easier 
way,  I'm  thinking." 

Dog  on  it !  I  could  scarcely  keep  from  shuddering  when 


)2G  LIFE   OP   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

I  heard  them  speaking  in  this  wild,  heathenish,  bloody  sort 
of  a  manner. 

"  '  Deed  no,"  quo'  Thomas  Tram,  at  whose  side  I  was 
standing,  "  far  better  send  away  for  the  smith's  forehammer, 
and  hit  her  a  smack  or  twa  betwixt  the  een  ;  so  ye  wad  settle 
her  in  half  a  second." 

u  No,  no  :  a  better  plan  than  a'  that  wad  be  to  make  a 
strong  kinch  of  ropes,  and  hang  her." 

Lovey  ding  !  such  ways  of  showing  how  to  be  merciful !  ! 
But  the  old  Jockey  himself  interfered.  "  Haud  yere  tongues, 
fules,"  was  his  speech  ;  "  yonder's  the  man  comipg  wi'  a  gun. 
We  '11  shune  put  an  end  to  her.  She  would  have  won  for  a 
hunder  pounds,  if  she  hadna  broken  her  leg.  Wha  '11  wager 
me  that  she  wadna  hae  won  ?  But  she  's  the  last  of  my 
stable,  puir  beast  ;  and  I  havena  ae  plack  to  rub  against 
anither,  now  that  I  have  lost  her.  Gi'e  me  the  gun  and  the 
penny  candle.  Is  she  loaded  ?"  speired  he  at  the  man  that 
carried  the  piece. 

"  Troth  is  she,"  was  the  answer,  "  double  charged." 

u  Then  stand  back,  Jads,"  quod  the  old  round-shouthered 
horse-couper,  and  ramming  down  the  candle,  he  lifted  up 
the  piece,  cocking  it  as  he  went  four  or  five  yards  in  front 
of  the  poor  bleeding  brute,  that  seemed,  though  she  could 
not  rise,  to  know  what  he  was  about  with  the  weapon  of  de- 
struction ;  casting  her  black  ce  up  at  him,  and  looking  piti- 
fully in  his  face. 

When  I  saw  him  taking  his  aim,  and  preparing  to  draw 
the  trigger,  I  turned  round  my  back,  not  being  able  to  stand 
it  ;  and  brizzed  the  flats  of  my  hands,  with  all  my  pith, 
against  the  opening  of  my  ears  ;  nevertheless,  I  heard  a 
faint  boom  ;  so,  heeling  round,  I  observed  the  miserable 
bleeding  creature  lift  her  head,  and  pulling  up  her  legs,  give 
them  a  plunge  down  again  on  the  divots  ;  after  which,  she 
lay  still,  and  we  all  saw,  to  our  satisfaction,  that  death  had 
come  to  her  relief. 

We  are  not  commanded  to  be  the  judges  of  our  fellow- 
creatures,  but  to  think  charitably  of  all  men,  hoping  all  for 
the  best ;  and,  though  the  horse-couper  was  a  thought  sus- 
picious, both  in  look,  speech,  dress,  and  outward  behaviour, 
still,  ever  and  anon,  we  were  bound  by  the  ten  command- 
ments to  consider  him  only  in  the  light  of  a  fellow-creature 
in  distress  of  mind  and  poverty  of  pocket ;  so  we  made  a 
superscription  for  the  poor  man  ;  and,  though  he  did  not 


my  lord's  races,  ,  129 

.  look  much  like  one  that  deserved  our  charity,  nevertheless 
and  howsoever,  maybe  he  was  a  bad  halfpenny,  and  maybe 
not,  one  thing  was  .visibly  certain,  that  he  was  as  poor  as 
Job, — misery  being  written  in  big  hand  letters  on  his  brow. 
So  it  behoved  each  one  to  open  his  purse  as  he  could  afford 
it ;  and,  though  I  say  not  what  I  put  into  the  hat,  proud  am 
I  to  tell  that  he  collected  two  or  three  shillings  to  help  him 
home. 

This  job  being  over  to  his  mind,  as  well  as  mine,  and  the 
money  safely  stowed  in  his  big  hinder  coat- pocket— would 
ye  believe  it?  ere  yet  the  beast  was  scarcely  "cold,  just  as 
we  were  decamping  from  the  place,  and  buttoning  up  our 
breeches-pockets,  we  saw  him  casting  his  coat,  and  had  the 
curiosity  to  stand  still  for  a  jiffy,  to  observe  what  he  was 
after,  in  case,  in  the  middle  of  his  misfortunes,  he  was  bent 
on  some  act  of  desperation  ;  when,  lo,  and  behold  !  he  out 
with  a  gully-knife,  and  began  skinning  his  old  servant,  as  if 
he  had  been  only  peeling  the  bark  off  a  fallen  tree  ! 

One  cannot  sit  at  their  ingle-cheek  and  expect,  without 
casting  their  eyes  about  them,  to  grow  experienced  in  the 
ways  of  men,  or  the  ongoings  of  the  world.  This  spectacle 
gave  me,  I  can  assure  you,  much  and  no  little  insight ;  and 
so  dowie  was  I  with  the  thoughts  of  what  I  had  witnessed 
of  the  selfishness,  the  sinfulness,  and  perversity  of  man,  that 
I  grew  more  and  more  homesick,  thinking  never  so  much 
in  my  life  before  of  my  quiet  hearthstone  and  cheerful  ingle  ; 
and  though  Thomas  Clod  insisted  greatly  on  my  staying  to 
their  head-meeting  dinner,  and  taking  a  reel  with  the  lassies 
in  the  barn  ;  and  Tammie  Dobbie,  the  bit  body,  had  gofcwso 
much  into  the  spirit  of  the  thing,  that  little  persuasion  would 
have  made  him  stay  all  night,  yet  I  was  determined  to  make 
the  best  of  my  way  home  ;  more-be-token,  as  Benjie  might 
take  skaith  from  the  night- air,  and  our  jaunt  therefrom 
might,  instead  of  contributing  to  his  welfare,  do  him  more 
harm  than  good.  So,  after  getting  some  cheese  and  bread, 
to  say  nothing  of  a  glass  or  two  of  strong  beer  and  a  dram 
at  Luckie  Barm's,  we  waited  in  her  parlour  as  a  pastime 
like,  till  Benjie  wakened  ;  on  the  which  I  made  Tammie 
yoke  his  beast ;  and,  rowing  the  bit  callant  in  his  mother's 
shawl,  took  him  into  my  arms  in  the  cart,  and  drove  away. 


130  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCIl. 


CHAPTER  XV. 


THE    RETURN. 

That  sweet  home  is  their  delight. 
And  thither  they  repair, 
Communion  with  their  own  to  hold  ( 
Peaceful  as,  at  the  fall  of  night, 
Two  little  lambkins  gliding  white 
Return  unto  the  gentle  air, 
That  sleeps  within  the  fold. 
Or  like  two  birds  to  th* ir  lonely  nest, 
Or  wearied  waves  to  their  bay  of  rest, 
Or  fleecy  clouds,  when  their  race  is  run, 
That  hang  in  their  «»wn  beauty  blest, 
'Mid  the  calm  that  sanctifies  the  west 
Around  the  setting  sun. 


Wilson. 


Harae,  hame,  name,  hame,  fain  would  I  be, 
Hame,  hame,  hame,  to  my  ain  countrie. 

Allan  Cunningham. 

I  may  confess,  without  thinking  shame,  that  I  was  glad 
when  I  found  our  nebs  turned  homeward  ;  and,  when  we 
got  over  the  turn  of  the  brae  at  the  old  quarry-holes  to  see 
the  blue  smoke  of  our  own  Dalkeith,  hanging  like  a  thin 
cloud  over  the  tops  of  the  green  trees,  through  which  I  per- 
ceived the  glittering  weathercock  on  the  old  kirk  steeple. 
Tammie,  poor  creature,  I  observed,  was  a  whit  ree  with  the 
good  cheer ;  and,  as  he  sat  on  the  fore-tram,  with  his  whip- 
hand  thrown  over  the  beast's  haunches,  he  sang,  half  to 
himself  and  half-aloud,  a  great  many  old  Scotch  songs,  such 
as  "  the  Gaberlunzie,"  "Aiken  Drum,"  "  Tak'  yere  auld 
Cloak  about  ye,"  and  "the  Deuks  dang  ower  my  Daddie  ;" 
besides,  "  The  Mucking  o'  Geordie's  Byre,"  and  "  Ca'  the 
Ewes  to  the  Knowes,"  and  so  on  ;  but,  do  what  I  liked,  I 
could  not  keep  my  spirits  up,  thinking  of  the  woful  end  of 
the  poor  old  horse,  and  of  the  ne'er-do-weel  loon  its  maister. 
Many  an  excellent  instruction  of  Mr.  Wiggie's  came  to  my 
mind,  of  how  we  misguided  the  good  things  that  were  lent 
us  for  our  use  here,  by  a  gracious  provider,  who  would, 
however,  bid  us  render  ar  final  account  to  him  of  our  conduct 


THE    RETURN.  j^i 

and  conversation.  I  thought  of  how  many  were  aye  com 
plaining  and  complainings  myself  whiles  among  the  rest,  ot 
the  hardships  and  miseries,  and  the  misfortunes  of  their  lot  j 
putting  all  down  to  the  score  of  fate,  and  never  once  think- 
ing of  the  plantations  of  sorrow,  reared  up  from  the  seeds  of 
our  own  sinfulness ;  or  how  any  thing,  save  punishment, 
could  come  of  the  breaking  of  the  ten  commandments  de- 
livered to  the  patriarch  Moses.  Perhaps,  reckoned  I  with 
myself,  perhaps,  in  this  even  I  myself  may  have  in  this  day's 
transactions  erred.  Here  am  I  wandering  about  in  a  cart ; 
exposing  myself  to  the  defilement  of  the  world,  to  the  fear 
of  robbers,  and  to  the  night  air,  in  the  search  of  health  for  a 
dwining  laddie  ;  as  if  the  hand  that  dealt  that  blessing  out 
was  not  as  powerful  at  home  as  it  is  abroad.  Had  I  re- 
mained at  my  own  labroad,  the  profits  of  my  day's  work 

v  would  have  been  over  and  above  for  the  maintenance  of  my 
family,  outside  and  inside  ;  instead  of  which  I  have  been  at 
the  expense  of  a  cart-hire  and  a  horse's  up-putting,  let  alone 
Tammie's  debosh  and  my  own,  besides  the  trifle  of  three- 
pence to  the  round-shouthered  old  horse-couper  with  the 
slouched  japan  beaver  hat.  The  story  was  too  true  a  one  ; 
but  alackaday  it  was  now  over  late' to  repent ! 

As  I  was  thus  musing,  the  bright  red  sun  of  summer  sank 
down  behind  the  top  of  the  Pentland  Hills,  and  all  looked 
bluish,  dowie,  and  drearie,  as  if  the  heart  of  the  world  had 

I  been  seized  with  a  sudden  dwalm,  and  the  face  of  nature 
had  at  once  withered  from  blooming  youth  into  the  hoariness 
of  old  age.  Now  and  then  the  birds  gave  a  bit  chitter  ;  and 
whiles  a  cow  mooed  from  the  fields  ;  and  the  dew  was  fall- 
ing like  the  little  tears  of  the  fairies  out  of  the  blue  lift,  where 
I  the  gloaming-star  soon  began  to  glow  and  glitter  bonnily. 
What  I  had  seen  and  witnessed  made  my  thoughts  heavy 
-  and  my  heart  sad  ;  I  could  not  get  the  better  of  it.  I  looked 
round  and  round  me,  as  we  jogged  along  over  the  height, 
down  on  the  far  distant  country,  that  spread  out,  as  if  it  had 
been  a  great  big  picture,  with  hills,  and  fields,  and  woods  ; 
and  I  could  still  see  to  the  norward  the  ships  lying  at  their 

,  anchors  on  the  sea,  and  the  shores  of  Fife  far  far  beyond  it. 
[t  was  a  great  and  a  grand  sight ;  and  made  me  turn  from 
the  looking  at  it  into  my  own  heart,  causing  me  to  think 
more  and  more  of  the  glory  of  the  Maker's  handiworks,  and 

I   less  and  less  of  the  littleness  of  pridefulman.     But  Tammie 

I  had  gotten  his  drappikie,  and  the  tongue  of  the  body  would 


13£  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

not  lie  still  a  moment ;  so  he  blethered  on  from  one  thing 
to  another,  as  we  jogged  along,  till  I  was  forced,  at  the  last, 
to  give  up  thinking,  and  begin  a  twa-handed  crack  with  him. 

"  Have  you  your  snuff-box  upon  ye  ?  said  Tammie  ; — 
M  gie  m6  a  pinch." 

Having  given  him  the  box,  I  observed  to  him,  that  "  it 
was  beginning  to  grow  dark  and  dowie." 

"  'Deed  is  't,"  said  Tammie  ;  "  but  a  body  can  now 
scarcely  meet  on  the  road  wi'  ony  thing  waur  than  themsell. 
Mony  a  witch,  de'ii,  and  bogle,  however,  did  my  grannie 
see  and  hear  tell  of,  that  used  to  scud  and  scamper  hereaway 
langsyne  like  maukins." 

"  Witches  !"  quo'  I.  "  iNo,  no,  Tammie.  all  these  things 
are  out  of  the  land  now  ;  and  muckle  luck  to  them.  But 
we  have  other  things  to  fear  :  what  think  ye  of  highway 
robbers  ?" 

"Highway  robber?!"  said  Tammie.  "Kay,  kay  ;  I'll 
tell  ye  of  something  that  I  met  in  wi'  mysell.  Ae  dark 
winter  night  as  I  was  daundering  hanie  frae  Pathhead— it 
was  pit-mirk,  and  about  the  twall — losh  me  !  I  couldna  see 
my  finger  afore  me—  that  a  stupid  thocht  cam  into  my  head 
that  I  wad  never  wun  hame,  but  be  either  killed,  lost,  mur- 
dered, or  drowned,  between  that  and  the  dawing.  All  o'  a 
sudden  I  sees  alight  coming  dancing  forrit  amang  the  trees  ; 
and  my  hair  began  to  stand  up  on  end.  Then,  in  the  next 
moment,  save  us  a' !  I  sees  anither  light,  and  forrit,  forrit 
they  baith  cam,  like  the  een  of  some  great  fiery  monster,  let 
loose  frae  the  pit  o'  darkness  by  its  maister,  to  seek  whom 
it  might  devour." 

"  Stop,  Tammie,"  said  I  to  him,  "  ye 'if  waukeh  Benjie. 
How  far  are  we  from  Dalkeith  ?" 

"  Twa  mile  and  a  bittock,"  answered  Tammie.  "  But 
wait  a  wee. — Up  cam  the  two  lights  snoov-snooving,  nearer 
and  nearer  ;  and  1  heard  distinctly  the  sound  of  feet  that 
werena  men's — cloven  feet,  maybe — but  nae  wheels.  Sae 
nearer  it  cam  and  nearer,  till  the  sweat  began  to  pour  owrc 
my  een  as  cauld  as  ice  ;  and,  at  lang  and  last,  I  fand  my 
knees  beginning  to  gie  way  ;  and,  after  tot-tottering  for 
half  a  minute,  I  fell  down,  my  staff  playing  bleach  out  be- 
fore me.  When  I  cam  to  mysell,  and  opened  my  een,  there 
were  the  twa  lights  before  me,  bleez-bleezing,  as  if  they  wad 
blast  my  sight  out.  And  what  did  they  turn  out  to  be,  think 
re  ?  The  di'el  or  spunkie,  whilk  o'  them  ?" 


THE    RETURN.  135 

i(  I'm  sure  I  canna  tell,"  said  T. 

«J  Naithing  mair  then,"  answered  Tammie,  "  but  twa 
bowels  ;  and  tied  to  ilka  knee  of  auld  Doofie,  the  half-crazy 
horse-doctor,  mounted  on  his  lang- tailed  naig,  and  away 
through  the  dark  by  himsell,  at  the  dead  hour  o'  night,  to 
the  relief  of  a  man's  mare  seized  with  the  batts,  somewhere 
down  about  Oxenford." 

I  was  glad  that  TamsmVs  story  had  ended  in  this  way, 
when  out  came  another  tramping  on  its  heels. 

"  Do  ye  see  the  top  of  yon  black  trees  to  the  norward 
there,  on  the  braehead  ?" 

"I  think  I  do,"  was  my  reply.  "  But  how  far,  think  ye, 
are  we  from  home  now  ?" 

"  About  a  mile  and  a  half,1' said  Tammie. — "  Weil,  as  to 
the  trees,  I'll  tell  ye  something  about  them. 

"  There  was  an  auld  widow-leddy  lived  lang  syne  about 
the  town-end  of  Dalkeith.  A  sour,  cankered,  auld  body — 
she  \s  dead  and  rotten  lang  ago.  But  what  1  was  gaun  to  say, 
she  had  a  bonny  bit  fair-haired,  blue-e?ed  lassie  of  a  servant- 
maid,  that  lodged  in  the  house  \vi'  her,  just  by  all  the  world 
like  a  lamb  wi'  an  wolf ;  a  bonnier  quean,  I've  heard  tell, 
never  steppit  in  leather  shoon  ;  so  all  the  young  lads  in  the 
gate-end  were  wooing  at  her,  and  fain  to  have  her ;  but  she 
wad  only  have  ae  joe  for  a'  that.  He  was  a  journeyman 
wright,  a  trades-lad,  and  they  had  come,  three  or  four  year 
before,  frae  the  same  place  thegither  ;  maybe  having  had  a 
liking  for  ane  anither  since  they  were  bairns  :  so  they  were 
gaun  to  be  married  the  week  after  Da'keith  Fair,  and  a* 
was  settled.  But  what,  think  ye,  happened.  He  got  a  drap 
drink,  and  a  recruiting  party  listed  him  in  the  King's  name, 
by  putting  a  white  shilling  in  his  loof. 

"  When  the  poor  lassie  heard  what  had  come  to  pass,  and 
bow  her  sweatheart  had  taen  the  bounty,  she  was  like  to  gang 
distrackit,  and  took  to  her  bed.  The  doctor  never  took  up 
her  trouble  ;  and  some  said  it  was  a  fever.  At  last  she  was 
roused  out  o't,  but  naebody  ever  saw  her  laugh  after  ;  and 
frae  ane  that  was  as  cantie  as  a  lintie,  she  became  as 
douce  as  a  quaker,  though  she  aye  gaed  cannily  about  her 
wark,  as  if  amaist  naething  had  happened.  If  she  was  ony 
way  light-headed  before,  to  be  sure  she  wasna  that  noo  ; 
but  just  what  a  decent  quean  should  be,  sitting  for  hours  by 
the  kitchen  fire  her  lane,  reading  the  bible,  and  thinking, 
12 


134  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

wha  kens,  of  what  wad  become  o'  the  wicked  after  they 
died  ;  and  so  ye  see " 

"  What  light  is  yon  ?"  said  I  interrupting  him,  wishing 
him  like  to  break  aft. 

"  Ou,  its  just  the  light  on  some  of  the  coal  hills.  The  puir 
blackened  creatures  will  be  gaun  down  to  their  wark.  It's 
an  unyearthly  kind  of  trade,  turnin  night  intil  day,  and 
working  like  wiaudiewarts  in  the  dark,  when  decent  folks 
are  in  their  beds  sleeping. — And  so,  as  I  was  saying,  ye  see, 
it  happened  ae  Sunday  night,  that  a  chap  cam  to  the  back 
door  ;  and  the  mistress  too  heard  it.  She  was  sitting  in  the 
foreroom  wi'  her  specks  on,  reading  some  sermon  book  ; 
but  it  was  the  maid  that  answered, 

"  In  a  while  thereafter,  she  rang  her  bell,  being  a  curious 
body,  and  aye  anxious  to  ken  a'  thing  of  her  ain  affairs,  let 
alane  her  neighbours  ;  so,  after  waiting  a  wee,  she  rang 
again, — and  better  rang  ;  then  lifting  up  her  stick,  for  she 
was  stiff  with  the  rheumaticks  and  decay  of  nature,  she 
hirpled  into  the  kitchen,  but  feint  a  hait  saw  she  there,  save 
the  open  bible  lying  on  the  table,  the  cat  streekit  out  before 
the  fire,  and  the  candle  burning — the  candle — na,  I  daur  say 
I  am  wrang  there,  I  believe  it  was  a  lamp,  for  she  was  a  near 
ane.     As  for  her  maiden,  there  was  no  trace  of  her." 

"  What  do  you  think  came  owre  her  then  V  said  I  to  him. 
liking  to  be  at  my  wits  end.  "  Naething  uncanny  I  daur 
say  ?" 

"  Ye '11  hear  in  a  moment,"  answered  Tammie  ;  "  a'  that 
I  ken  o'  the  matter.  Ye  see — as  I  asked  ye  before — yon 
trees  on  the  hill-head  to  the  norard  ;  just  below  yon  black 
cloud  yonder  V* 

"  Preceesely,"  said  I — "  I  see  them  well  enough." 

"  Weil,  after  a'  thochts  of  finding  her  were  gien  up,  and 
it  was  fairly  concluded,  that  it  was  the  auld  gudeman  that 
had  come  and  chappit  her  out,  she  was  fund  in  a  pond 
among  yon  trees,  floating  on  her  back,  wi'  her  Sunday's 
claes  on  !  1" 

"  Drowned  ?"  said  I  to  him. 

"  Drowned, — and  as  stiff  as  a  deal  board,"  answered 
Tammie.  "  But  when  she  was  drowned, — or  how  she  came 
to  be  drowned, — or  who  it  was  drowned  her, — has  never 
been  found  out  till  this. blessed  moment." 

"  Maybe,"  said  I,  lending  in  my  word,  "  maybe  she  had 
grown  demented,  and  thrown  herself  in  i'  the  dark." 


THE   RETURN.  136 

4i  Or  maybe,"  said  Tammie,  "  the  de'il  flew  away  wi'  her 
in  a  flash  o'  fire  ;  and,  soosing  her  down  frae  the  lift,  she 
landed  in  that  hole,  where  she  was  fund  floating.  But, 
wo  ! — wo  !"  cried  he  to  his  horse,  coming  across  its  side  with 
his  whip  ;  "  We  maun  be  canny  ;  for  this  brig  has  a  sharp 
turn,  (it  was  the  Cow  Brig,  ye  know,)  and  many  a  one, 
both  horse  and  man,  have  got  their  knecks  broken,  by  not 
being  wary  enough  of  that  comer." 

This  made  me  a  wee  timorous,  having  the  bit  laddie 
Benjie  fast  asleep  in  my  arms,  and  as  [  saw  that  Tammie's 
horse  was  a  wee  fidgety,  and  glad  T  dare  say,  poor  thing,  to 
find  itself  so  near  home.  We  heard  the  water,  far  down  be- 
low, roaring  and  hushing  over  the  rocks,  and  thro'  among 
the  Duke's  woods, — big,  thick,  black  trees,  that  threw  their 
branches,  like  giant's  arms,  half  across  the  Esk,  making  all 
below  as  gloomy  as  midnight ;  while  over  the  tops  of  them, 
high,  high  aboon,  the  bonnie  wee  starries  were  twink-twink- 
ling  far  amid  the  blue.  But  there  was  no  end  to  Tammie's 
tongue. 

"  Weel,"  said  he,  "  speaking  o'  the  brig,  I  '11  tell  you  a 
gude  story  about  that.  Auld  Jamie  Bowie,  the  potato  mer- 
chant, that  lived  at  the  gate-end,  had  a  horse  and  cart,  that 
met  wi'  an  accident  just  at  the  turn  o'  the  corner  yonder  ; 
and  up  cam  a  chield  sair  forfaughten,  and  a'  out  of  breath 
to  Jamie's  door,  crying  like  the  prophet  Jeremiah  to  the  auld 
Jews,  fc  Rin,  rin  away  doun  to  the  Cow  Brig  ;  for  your 
cart's  dung  to  shivers,  and  the  driver's  killed,  as  weel  as  the 
horse !' 

fct  James  ran  in  for  his  hat ;  but,  as  he  was  coming  out  at 
the  door,  he  met  another  messenger,  such  as  came  running 
across  the  plain  to  King  David,  to  acquaint  him  of  the  death 
of  Absalom,  crying  '  Rin  away  doun,  Jamie,  rin  away 
doun  ;  your  cart  is  standing  yonder,  without  either  horse  or 
driver  ;  for  they're  baith  killed  I5 

11  Jamie  thanked  heaven  that  the  cart  was  to  the  fore  ; 
then  rinning  back  for  his  stick,  which  he  had  forgotten,  he 
stopped  a  moment  to  bid  his  wife  not  greet  so  loud,  and  was 
then  rushing  out  in  full  birr,  when  he  ran  foul  of  a  third 
chield,  that  mostly  knocked  doun  the  door  in  his  hurry. 
;  Awfu'  news,  man,  awfu'  news,  was  the  way  o't,  with  this 
second  Eliphaz  the  Temanite.  4  Your  cart  and  horse  ran 
away, — and  threw  the  driyer,  puir  fellow,  clean  owre  the 
brig  into  the  water.     No  a  crunch  o'  him  is  to  be  seen  or 


136  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

heard  tell  of;  for  he  was  a'  smashed  to  pieces  ! !   It 's  an  awfu* 
business ! ' 

"\But  where's  the  horse?  and  where 's  the  cart  then  V  - 
askit  Jamie,  a  thought  brisker.     'Where's  the  horse  and 
cart  then,  my  man  ?     Can  ye  tell  me  aught  of  that  V 

utOu,'  said  he  'they're  baith  doun  at  the  Toll  yonder, 
no  a  hair  the  waur.' 

"  ;  That's  the  best  news  I  've  heard  the  nicht,  my 
man. — Goodwife,  I  say,  Goodwife  ;  are  ye  deaf  or  donnart  ? 
Give  this  lad  a  dram  :  and,  as  it  rathe*-  looks  like  a  shower, 
I'll  e'en  no  go  out  the  night. — I'll  ?asy  manage  to  find 
another  driver,  though  half  a  hundred  o'  the  blockheads 
should  get  their  brains  knocked  out.' 

"  Is  not  that  a  gude  one  noo?"  quo'  Tammie,  laughing. 
"  'Od  Jamie  Bowie  was  a  real  ane.  He  wadna  let  them 
light  a  candle  by  his  bed  side  to  Jet  him  see  to  dee  ;  he  gied 
them  a  curse,  and  said  that  was  needless  extravagance." 

Dog  on  it,  thought  I  to  myself,  the  farther  in  the  deeper, 
This  beats  the  round-shouthered  horsecouper  with  the  japan 
hat,  skinning  his  reeking  horse,  all  to  sticks  ;  and  so  I  again 
fell  into  a  gloomy  sort  of  a  musing  ;  when,  just  as  we  came 
opposite  the  Duke's  gate,  with  the  deers  on  each  side  of  it, 
two  men  rushed  out  upon  us,  and  one  of  them  seized  Tam- 
mie's  horse  by  the  bridle,  as  the  other  one  held  his  horse- 
pistol  to  my  nose,  and  bade  me  stop,  in  the  King's  name  I 

"  Hold  your  hand,  hold  your  hand  for  the  sake  of  mercy  t,J 
cried  I,  "  spare  the  father  of  a  small  family  that  will  starve 
on  the  street,  if  ye  take  my  life ! !  Hae, — hae, — there 's 
every  coin  and  copper  I  have  about  me  in  the  world !  Be 
merciful,  be  merciful  ;  and  do  not  shed  blood,  that  will  not, 
cannot  be  rubbed  out  of  your  conscience.  Take  all  that  I 
have — horse  and  cart  and  all  if  ye  like,  only  spare  our  lives  ; 
and  let  us  away  home!" 

"De'il's  in  the  man,"  quo'  Tammie,  "  horse  and  cart! 
that's  a  gude  one!  Na,  na,  lads  ;  fire  away  gin  ye  like; 
for  as  lang'as  I  hae  a  drap  o'  bluid  in  me,  ye '11  get  neither. 
Better  be  killed  than  starve.  Do  your  best,  ye  thieves  that 
ye  are  :  and  I  '11  hae  baith  hanged  neist  week  before  the  Fif- 
teen !" 

Every  moment  I  expected  my  head  to  be  shot  off,  till  I  got 
my  hand  clapped  on  Tammie's  mouth,  and  could  get  cried 
to  them — "  Shoot  him  then,  lads  ;  shoot  him  then,  lads,  if 


THE   HETURIv.  137 

he  wants  it  ;  but  take  my  siller  like  Christians  ;  and  let  me 
away  with  my  poor  deeing  bairn  1" 

The  two  men  seemed  a  something  dumfoundered  with 
what  they  heard  ;  and  I  began  to  think  them,  if  they  were 
highway  robbers,  a  wee  slow  at  their  trade  ;  when  what 
think  ye  did  they  turn  out  to  be — only  guess  ?  Nothing 
more  nor  less  than  two  excise  officers,  that  had  got  infor- 
mation of  some  smuggled  gin,  coming  up  in  a  cart  from 
Fisherrow  Harbour,  and  were  lurking  on  the  road  side,  look- 
ing out  for  spuilzie  !  ! 

When  they  quitted  us  giggling,  I  could  not  keep  from 
laughing  too  ;  though  the  sights  I  had  seen,  and  the  fright 
I  had  got,  made  me  nervish  and  eerie  ;  so  blithe  was  I  when 
the  cart  rattled  on  our  own  street,  and  I  began  to  waken 
Benjie,  as  we  were  not  above  a,  hundred  yards  from  our  own 
door. 

In  this  day's  adventures,  I  saw  the  sin  and  folly  of  my 
conduct  visibly,  as  I  jumped  out  of  the  cart  at  our  close 
mouth.  So  I  determined  within  myself,  with  a  strong  de- 
termination, to  behave  more  sensibly  for  the  future,  and 
think  no  more  about  lime-kilns  and  coal-pits  ;  but  to  trust, 
for  Benjie's  recovery  from  the  chincough,  to  a  kind  Provi 
dence,  together  with  Daffy's  elixir,  and  warm  blankets. 


IS* 


f  38  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH 


CHAPTER  XVI 

THE    BLOODY    BUSINESS. 

So  stands  the  Thracian  herdsman  with  his  spear 
Full  in  the  gap,  and  hopes  the  hunted  bear — 
And  hears  him  in  the  rustling  wood,  and  sees 
His  course  at  distance  by  the  bending  trees — 
And  thinks — Here  comes  my  mortal  enemy, 
And  either  he  must  fall  in  fight  or  I. 

Drtden's  Palamon  and  Arciie. 

Nay,  never  shake  thy  gory  locks  at  me — 
Thou  canst  not  say  I  did  it ! 

Macbeth. 

It  was  on  a  fine  summer  morning,  somewhere  about  four 
o'clock,  when  I  wakened  from  my  night's  rest,  and  was 
about  thinking  to  bestir  myself,  that  I  heard  the  sound  of 
voices  in  the  kail-yard  stretching  south  from  our  back  win- 
dows.  I  listened — and  I  listened — and  I  better  listened — 
and  still  the  sound  of  the  argle-bargling  became  more  dis- 
tinct, now  in  a  fleeching  way,  and  now  in  harsh  angry  tones, 
as  if  some  quarrelsome  disagreement  had  taken  place.  I 
had  not  the  comfort  of  my  wife's  company  in  this  dilemmy  ; 
she  being  away,  three  days  before,  on  the  top  of  Tammie 
Trundle  the  carrier's  cart,  to  Lauder,  on  a  visit  to  her  folks 
there  ;  her  mother,  (my  gude-mother  like,)  having  been  for 
some  time  ill  with  an  income  in  her  leg,  which  threatened 
to  make  a  lamiter  of  her  in  her  old  age,  the  two  doctors 
there — not  speaking  of  the  blacksmith,  and  sundry  skeely  old 
women — being  able  to  make  nothing  of  the  business  ;  so 
none  happened  to  be  with  me  in  the  room,  saving  wee  Ben- 
jie,  who  was  lying  asleep  at  the  back  of  the  bed,  with  his 
little  Kilmarnock  on  his  head,  as  sound  a3  a  top.  Neverr 
theless,  I  looked  for  my  claes;  and,  opening  one  half  of  the 
window  shutter,  I  saw  four  young  birkies,  well  dressed — 
indeed  three  of  them  customers  of  my  own — all  belonging  to 
the  town  ;  two  of  them  young  doctors,  one  of  them  a 
writer's  clerk,  and  the  other  a  grocer  ;  the  whole  looking 
very  fierce  and  fearsome,   like  turkey-cocks  ;    swaggering 


THE   BLOODY   BUSINESS.  139 

about  with  arms  as  if  they  had  been  the  King's  dragoons  ; 
and  priming  a  pair  of  pistols,  which  one  of  the  surgeons,  a 
spirity,  out-spoken  lad,  Maister  Blister,  was  holding  in  his 
grip. 

J  jaloused  at  once  what  they  were  after,  being  now  a  wee 
up  to  fire-arms  ;  so  I  saw  that  skaith  was  to  come  of  it ;  and 
that  I  would  be  wanting  in  my  duty  on  four  heads, — first,  as 
a  Christian  ;  second,  as  a  man  ;  third,  as  a  subject  ;  and 
fourth,  as  a  father  ;  if  I  withheld  myself  from  the  scene  ; 
nor  lifted  up  my  voice,  however  fruitlessly,  against  such  cry- 
ing iniquity,  as  the  wanton  letting  out  of  human  blood  ;  so 
forth  I  hastened,  half  dressed,  with  my  gray  stockings  rolled 
up  my  thigh  over  my  corduroys,  and  my  old  hat  above  my 
cowl,  to  the  kail-yard  of  contention. 

I  was  just  in  the  nick  of  time  ;  and  my  presence  checked 
the  effusion  of  blood  for  a  little — but  wait  a  wee.  So  high 
and  furious  were  at  least  three  of  the  party,  that  I  saw  it 
was  catching  water  in  a  sieve  to  waste  words  on  them,  know- 
ing, as  clearly  as  the  sun  serves  the  world,  that  interceding 
would  be  of  no  avail.  Howsoever,  I  made  a  feint,  and  threat- 
ened to  bowl  away  for  a  magistrate,  if  they  would  not  desist 
from  their  barbaroi  s  and  bloody  purpose  ;  but,  i'fegs,  I  had 
better  have  kept  my  counsel  till  it  was  asked  for. 

"  Tailor  Mansie,"  quoth  Maister  Thomas  Blister,  with  a 
furious  cock  of  his  eye, — he  was  a  queer  Eirish  birkie,  come 
over  for  his  education, — ik  since  ye  have  ventured  to  thrust 
your  nose,  ma  voumeen,"  said  he,  "  where  nobody  invited 
ye,  you  must  just  stay,"  said  he,  "  and  abide  by  the  conse- 
quences. This  is  an  affair  of  honour,"  quoth  he  ;  u  and  if 
ye  venture  to  stir  one  foot  from  the  spot,  och  then,  ma  bouch- 
al,"  said  he,  "  by  the  poker  of  St.  Patrick,  but  whisk  through 
ye  goes  one  of  these  leaden  playthings,  as  sure  as  ye  ever 
spoiled  a  coat,  or  cabbaged  broadcloth  !  Ye  have  now  come 
out,  ye  observe, — hark  ye,"- — said  he,  "  and  are  art  and 
part  in  the  business  ; — and,  if  one,  or  both,  of  the  princi- 
pals be  killed,  poor  devils,"  said  he,  tv  we  are  all  alike  liable 
to  take  our  trial  before  the  Justiciary  Court,  hark  ye  ;  and, 
by  the  powers,"  said  he,  u  I  doubt  not  but,  on  proper  con- 
sideration, ma  chree,  that  they  will  allow  us  to  get  offmerci* 
fully,  on  this  side  of  hanging,  by  a  verdict  of  manslaughter.'5 

'Od,  I  found  myself  immediately  in  a  scrape  ;  but  how  to 
get  out  of  it  baffled  my  gumption.  It  set  me  all  a  shivering : 
yet  I  thought  that,  come  the  worst  when  it  would,  they  surely 


40  LIFE   OP   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

would  not  hang  the  faither  of  a  helpless  small  family,  that 
had  nothing  but  his  needle  for  their  support,  if  I  made  a 
proper  affidavy,  about  having  tried  to  make  peace  between 
the  youths.  So,  conscience  being  a  brave  supporter,  I  abode 
in  silence,  though  not  without  many  queer  and  qualmish 
thoughts,  and  a  pit-patting  of  the  heart,  not  unco  pleasant  in 
the  tholing. 

"  Blood  and  wounds!"  bawled  Maister  Thomas  Blister, 
"  it  would  be  a  disgrace  for  ever  on  the  honourable  profession 
of  physic,"  egging  on  poor  Maister  Willy  Magneezhy,  whose 
face  was  as  white  as  double-bleached  linen,  "  to  make  any 
*  apology  for  such  an  insult.  Arrah,  my  honey  !  you  not  fit 
to  doctor  a  cat, — you  not  fit  to  bleed  a  calf, — you  not  fit  to 
poultice  a  pig, — after  three  years'  apprenticeship,"  said  he, 
"  and  a  winter  with  Doctor  Monro  ?  By  the  cupping  glasses 
of  Pocrates,"  said  he,  "  and  by  the  pistol  of  Gallon,  but  I 
would  have  caned  him  on  the  spot,  if  he  had  just  let  out  half 
as  much  to  me  !  Look  ye,  man,"  said  he,  "  look  ye,  man, 
he  is  all  shaking  ;"  (this  was  a  god's  truth,)  "  he  '11  turn  tail. 
At  him  like  fire,  Willy." 

Magneezhy,  though  sadly  frightened,  looked  a  thought 
brighter  ;  and  made  a  kind  of  half  step  forward.  "  Say 
that  ye'll  ask  my  pardon  once  more, — and  if  not,*'  said  the 
poor  lad,  with  a  voice  broken  and  trembling,  "  then  we  must 
just  shoot  one  another." 

"  Devil  a  bit,"  answered  Maister  Bloatsheet,  "  devil  a  bit. 
No,  sir  ;  you  must  down  on  your  bare  knees,  and  beg  ten 
thousand  pardons  for  calling  me  out  here,  in  a  raw  morning ; 
or  I  '11  have  a  shot  at  you,  whether  you  will  or  not." 

"  Will  you  stand  that  ?"  said  Blister,  with  eyes  like  burning 
coals.  "  By  the  living  jingo,  and  the  holy  poker,  Mag- 
neezhy, if  you  stand  that — if  you  stand  that,  I  say,  I  stand 
no  longer  your  second,  but  leave  you  to  disgrace,  and  a 
<*aning.  If  he  likes  to  shoot  you  like  a  dog,  and  not  as  a 
gentleman,  then  cuishla  ma  chree, — his  will  be  done." 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  Magneezhy,  with  a  quivering  voice, 
which  he  tried  in  vain,  poor  fellow,  to  render  warlike,  (he 
had  never  been  in  the  volunteers  like  me.)  "  Hand  us  the 
pistols  then  ;*  and  let  us  do  or  die  !" 

"  Spoken  like  a  hero,  and  brother  of  the  lancet :  as  little 
afraid  at  the  sight  of  your  own  blood,  as  at  that  of  other 
people,"  said  Blister.     "  Hand  over  the  pistols." 

It  was  an  awful  business.     Gude  save  us,  such  goings  on 


THE    BLOODY    BUSINESS*  14  J 

in  a  Christian  land !  While  Mr.  Bloatsheet,  the  young  writer, 
was  in  the  act  of  cocking  the  bloody  weapon,  I  again,  but 
to  no  purpose,  endeavoured  to  slip  in  a  word  edgeways. 
Magneezhy  was  in  an  awful  case ;  if  he  had  been  already 
shot,  he  could  not  have  looked  more  clay  and  corpse-like  ; 
so  I  took  a  kind  of  whispering,  while  the  stramash  was 
drawing  to  a  bloody  conclusion,  with  Mr.  Harry  Molasses, 
the  fourth  in  the  spree,  who  was  standing  behind  Bloatsheet, 
with  a  large  mahogany  box  under  his  arm.  something  in 
shape  like  that  of  a  licensed  packman,  ganging  about  from 
house  to  house,  through  the  country-side,  selling  toys  and 
trinkets  ;  or  niffering  plaited  ear-rings,  and  sic  like,  with 
young  lasses,  for  auld  silver  coins,  or  cracked  tea-spoons, 

"Oh  !"  answered  he,  very  composedly,  as  if  it  had  been 
a  canister  full  of  black-rappee  or  blackguard,  that  he  had 
just  lifted  down  from  his  top-shelf,  "  it 's  just  Doctor  Blister's 
saws,  whittles,  and  big  knives,  in  case  any  of  their  legs  or 
arms  be  blown  away,  that  he  may  cut  them  off."  Little 
would  have  prevented  me  sinking  down  through  the  ground, 
had  I  not  remembered,  at  the  preceese  moment,  that  I  my- 
self was  a  soldier,  and  liable,  when  the  hour  of  danger 
threatened,  to  be  called  out  in  marching-order,  to  the  field 
of  battle.  But  by  this  time  the  pistols  were  in  the  hands  of 
the  two  infatuated  young  men,  Mr.  Bloatsheet,  as  fierce  as 
a  hussar  dragoon,  and  Magneezhy,  as  supple  in  the  knees- 
as  if  he  was  all  on  oiled  hinges  ;  so  the  next  consideration 
was  to  get.  well  out  of  the  way,  the  lookers  on  running  nearly 
as  great  a  chance  of  being  shot  as  the  principals,  they  not 
being  accustomed,  like  me  for  instance,  to  the  use  of  arms  ; 
on  which  account,  I  scougged  myself  behind  a  big  pear- 
tree  ;  both  being  to  fire  when  Blister  gave  the  word  "  Off!" 

I  had  hardly  jouked  into  my  hidy-hole,  when  "crack — 
crack"  played  the  pistols  like  lightning  ;  and,  as  soon  as  I 
got  my  cowl  taken  from  my  een,  and  looked  about,  wae's 
me,  I  saw  Magneezhy  clap  his  hand  to  his  brow,  wheel  round 
like  a  peerie,  or  a  sheep  seized  with  the  sturdie,  and  then 
play  flap  down  on  his  broadside,  breaking  the  necks  of  half- 
a-dozen  cabbage  stocks, — three  of  which  were  afterwards 
clean  lost,  as  we  could  not  put  them  all  into  the  pot  at  one 
time.  The  whole  of  us  ran  forward,  but  foremost  was 
Bloatsheet,  who,  seizing  Magneezhy  by  the  hand,  said,  with 
a  mournful  face,  "  I  hope  you  forgive  me  ?  Only  say  this  as 


142  LIFE  OF  MANSIE  VVAUCH. 

long  as  you  have  breath ;  for  I  am  off  to  Leith  harbour  in 
half  a  minute." 

The  blood  was  running  over  poor  Magneezhy's  een,  and 
drib-dribbling  from  the  neb  of  his  nose,  so  he  was  truly  in  a 
pitiful  state  ;  but  he  said  with  more  strength  than  I  thought 
lie  could  have  mustered, — "  Yes,  yes,  fly  for  your  life.  I 
am  dying  without  much  pain — fly  for  your  life,  for  I  am  a 
gone  man !" 

Bloatsheet  bounced  through  the  kail-yard  like  a  maukin, 
clamb  over  the  bit  wa\  and  off  like  mad  ;  while  Blister  was 
feeling  Magneezhy's  pulse  with  one  hand,  and  looking  at 
his  doctor's  watch,  which  he  had  in  the  other.  "  Do  ye 
think  that  the  poor  lad  will  live,  doctor  ?"  said  I  to  him. 

He  gave  his  head  a  wise  shake,  and  only  observed,  M  I 
dare  say,  it  will  be  a  hanging  business  among  us.  In 
what  direction  do  you  think,  Mansie,  we  should  all  take 
flight  ?" 

But  I  answered  bravely,  "  Flee  them  that  will,  I'se  flee 
nane.  If  I  am  ta'en  prisoner,  the  town-officers  maun  take 
me  frae  my  ain  house  ;  but,  nevertheless,  I  trust  the  visibility 
of  my  innocence  will  be  as  plain  as  a  pikestaff  to  the  een  of 
the  Fffteen  !" 

11  What  then,  Mansie,  will  we  do  with  poor  Magneezhy  ? 
Give  us  your  advice  in  need." 

"  Let  us  carry  him  down  to  my  own  bed,"  answered  I ; 
u  I  would  not  desert  a  fellow-creature  in  his  dying  hour ! 
Help  me  down  with  him,  and  then  flee  the  country  as  fast  as 
you  are  able !" 

We  immediately  proceeded,  and  lifted  the  poor  lad,  who 
had  now  dwalmed  away,  upon  our  wife's  handbarrow — 
Blister  taking  the  feet,  and  me  the  oxters,  whereby  I  got  my 
waistcoat  all  japanned  with  blood ;  so,  when  we  got  him 
laid  right,  we  proceeded  to  carry  him  between  us  down  the 
close,  just  as  if  he  had  been  a  sticked  sheep,  and  in  at  the 
back  door,  which  cost  us  some  trouble,  being  narrow,  and 
the  barrow  getting  jammed  in  ;  but,  at  long  and  last,  we 
got  him  streeked  out  above  the  blankets,  having  previously 
shooken  Benjie,  and  wakened  him  out  of  his  morning's  nap. 
All  this  being  accomplished  and  got  over,  Blister  decamped, 
leaving  me  my  liefu' Jane,  excepting  Benjie  who  was  next  to 
nobody,  in  the  house  with  the  deeing  man.  What  a  frightful 
face  he  had,  all  smeared  over  with  blood  and  powder — and 
I  really  jaloused,  that  if  he  died  in  that  room,  it  would  be 


THE   BLOODY   BUSINESS.  1 43 

haunted  for  ever  mair,  he  being  in  a  manner  a  murdered 
man  ;  so  that,  even  should  I  be  acquitted  of  art  and  part, 
his  ghost  might  still  come  to  bother  us,  making  our  house  a 
hell  upon  earthy  and  frighting  us  out  of  our  seven  senses. 
But,  in  the  midst  of  my  dreadful  surmises,  when  all  was 
stilL,-s&'that  you  might  have  heard  a  pin  fall,  a  knock-knock- 
knock,  came  to  the  door,  on  which,  recovering  my  senses, 
I  dreaded  first  that  it  was  the  death-chap,  and  syne  that  the 
affair  had  got  wind,  and  that  it  was  the  beagles  come  in 
search  of  me ;  so  I  kissed  little  Benjie,  who  was  sitting  on 
his  creepie,  blubbering  and  greeting  for  his  parritch,  while  a 
tear  stood  in  my  own  ee,  as  I  went  forward  to  lift  the  sneck 
to  let  the  officers,  as  I  thought,  harrie  our  house,  by  carrying 
off  me,  its  master  ;  but  it  was,  thank  heaven,  only  Tammic 
Bodkin,  coming  in  whistling  to  his  work,  with  some  measur- 
ing-papers hanging  round  his  neck. 

"  Ah,  Tammie,"  said  I  to  him,  my  heart  warming  at  a 
kent  face,  and  making  the  laddie,  although  my  bounden 
servant  by  a  regular  indenture  of  five  years,  a  friend  in  my 
need,  "come  in  my  man.  1  fear  ye  '11  hae  to  take  charge  of 
the  business  for  some  time  to  come  ;  mind  what  I  tellM  ye 
about  the  shaping  and  the  cutting,  and  no  making  the  guse 
ower  warm  ;  as  I  doubt  I  am  about  to  be  harled  away  to  the 
tolbooth." 

Tammie's  heart  swelled  to  his  mouth.  "  Ah,  maister," 
lie  said,  u  yere  joking.  What  should  ye  have  done  that  ye 
should  be  ta'en  to  sic  an  ill  place  ?" 

"  Ay,  Tammie,  lad,"  answered  I,  "  it  is  but  ower  true." 

u  Weel,  weel,"  quo'  Tammie— I  really  thought  it  a  great 
deal  of  the  laddie—"  weel,  weel,  they  canna  prevent  me 
coming  to  sew  beside  ye  ;  and  if  I  can  take  the  measure  of 
customers  without,  ye  can  cut  the  claith  within.  But  what 
is  't  for,  maister  ?" 

M  Come  in  here,"  said  I  to  him,  "  and  believe  your  ain 
een,  Tammie,  my  man." 

-"  Losh  me!"  cried  the  poor  laddie,  glowring  at  the  bloody 
face  of  the  man  in  the  bed.  "  Ay — ay — ay  !  maister  ;  save 
us,  maister ,'  ay— ay — ay — you  havena  clowred  his  harnpan 
with  the  guse  ?  Ay,  maister,  maister !  whaten  an  unearthly 
sight ! !  I  doubt  they  '11  hang  us  a' ;  you  for  doing't — and  me 
on  suspicion — and  Benjie  as  art  and  part,  puir  thing.  But 
I  '11  rin  for  a  doctor.    Will  I,  maister  ?" 

The  thought  had  never  struck  me  before,  being  in  a  sort 


144  WFE    OF   MANSIE    WATJCH. 

of  a  manner  dung  stupid  ;  but  catching  up  the  word,  I  said 
with  all  my  pith  and  birr,  "  Rin,  riu,  Tammie,  rin  for  life 
and  death." 

Tammie  bolted  like  a  nine-year-old,  never  looking  behind 
his  tail :  so,  in  less  than  ten  minutes,  he  returned,  hauling 
along  old  Doctor  Peelbox,  whom  he  had  waukened  out  of 
his  bed,  by  the  lug  and  horn,  at  the  very  time  I  was  trying 
to  quiet  young  Benjie,  who  was  following  me  up  and  down 
the  house,  as  I  was  pacing  to  and  fro  in  distraction,  girning 
and  whinging  for  his  breakfast. 

u  Bad  business,  bad  business;  bless  us,  what  is  this?" 
said  the  old  Doctor,  staring  at  Magneezhy's  bloody  face 
through  his  silver  spectacles — u  What 's  the  matter  ?" 

The  poor  patient  knew  at  once  his  maister's  tongue,  and, 
lifting  up  one  of  his  eyes,  the  other  being  stiff  and  barkened 
down,  said  in  a  melancholy  voice,  uAh,  master,  do  you  think 
I  '11  get  better  ?" 

Doctor  Peelbox,  old  man  as  he  was,  started  back,  as  if  he 
had  been  a  French  dancing^master,  or  had  stramped  on  a 
hot  bar  of  iron.  "  Tom,  Tom,  is  this  you  ?  what,  in  the 
name  of  wonder,  has  done  this  ?"  Then  feeling  his  wrist- 
"  but  your  pulse  is  quite  good.  Have  you  fallen,  boy  ? 
Where  is  the  blood  coming  from  ?" 

"  Somewhere  about  the  hairy  scalp,"  answered  Mag- 
neezhy,  in  their  own  sort  of  lingo.  "  1  doubt  some  artery's 
cut  through  !" 

The  doctor  immediately  bade  him  lie  quiet  and  hush,  as 
he  was  getting  a  needle  and  silken  thread  ready  to  sew  it  up  ; 
ordering  me  to  have  a  basin  and  water  ready,  to  wash  the 
poor  Fad's  physog.  I  did  so  as  hard  as  I  was  able,  though  I 
was  not  sure  about  the  blood  just ;  old  doctor  Peelbox 
watching  over  my  shoulder  with  a  lighted  penny  candle  in 
one  hand  and  the  needle  and  thread  in  the  other,  to  see  where 
the  blood  spouted  from.  But  we  were  as  daft  as  wise  ;  so 
he  bade  me  take  my  big  sheers,  and  cut  out  all  the  hair  on 
the  fore  part  of  the  head  as  bare  as  my  loof ;  and  syne  we 
washed,  and  better  washed  ;  So  Magneezhy  got  the  other 
ee  up,  when  the  barkened  blood  was  loosed  ;  looking,  though 
as  pale  as  a  clean  shirt,  more  frighted  than  hurt ;  until  it  be- 
came plain  to  us  all,  first  to  the  doctor,  syne  tome,  and  syne 
to  Tammie  Bodkin,  and  last  of  all  to  Magneezhy  himself, 
that  his  skin  was  not  so  much  as  peeled.  So  we  helped  him 
out  of  the  bed,  and  blithe  was  I  to  see  the  lad  standing  on 
the  floor,  without  a  hold,  on  his  own  feet. 


THE   BLOODY   BUSINESS.  140 

I  did  my  best  to  clean  his  neckloth  and  shirt  of  the  blood, 
snaking  him  look  as  decentish  as  possible,  considering  cir- 
cumstances ;  and  lending  him,  as  the  scripture  commands, 
my  tartan  maud  to  hide  the  infirmity  of  his  bloody  trowser9 
and  waistcoat.  Home  went  he  and  his  master  together  ; 
me  standing  at  our  close  mouthy  wishing  them  a  good  mor,  in^, 
and  blithe  to  see  their  backs.  Indeed,  a  condemned  thief 
with  the  rope  about  hi*  neck,  and  the  white  cowl  tied  over 
his  een,  to  say  nothing  of  his  hands  yerked  together  behind 
bis  back,  and  on  the  nick  of  being  thrown  over,  could  not 
have  been  more  thankful  for  a  reprieve  than  I  was,  at  the  same 
blessed  moment.  It  was  like  Adam  seeing  the  de'il's  rear 
marching  out  of  Paradise,  if  one  may  be  allowed  to  think 
3uch  a  thing. 

The  whole  business,  tag,  rag,  and  bob-tail,  soon,  however, 
spunked  out,  and  was  the  town  talk  for  more  than  one  day, 
— But  ye  '11  hear. 

At  the  first  I  pitied  the  poor  lads,  that  I  thought  had  fled 
for  ever  and  aye  from  their  native  country,  to  Bengal,  Se- 
ringapatam,  Botany  Bay,  or  Jamaica,  leaving  behind  them  all 
their  friends  and  old  Scotland,  as  they  might  never  hear  of 
the  goodness  of  Providence  in  their  behalf.  But — wait 
a  wee. 

Would  you  believe  it  ?  As  sure's  death,  the  whole  was  but 
a  wicked  trick  played  by  that  mischievous  loon  Blister  and 
his  cronies,  upon  one  that  was  a  simple  and  soft-headed 
callant.  De'il  a  hait  was  in  the  one  pistol  but  a  pluff  of 
powder  ;  and,  in  the  other,  a  cartridge  paper  full  of  blood 
was  rammed  down  upon  the  charge  ;  the  which,  hitting  Mag* 
neezhy  on  the  ee-bree,  had  caused  a  business  that  seemed 
to  have  put  him  out  of  life,  and  nearly  put  me  (though  one 
6f  the  volunteers)  out  of  my  seven  senses. 


13 


146  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WATJCH. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

MY    FIRST    AND    LAST    PLAY. 

Pla.    V  faith 
I  like  the  audience  that  frequenteth  there 
With  much  applause  :  a  man  shall  not  he  chokt 
With  the  stenoh  of  garlick,  nor  be  pasted  firm 
To  the  barmy  jacket  of  a  bet- r- brewer. 

Bra.     'Tis  a  good  gentle  audience,  and  I  hope, 
The  boys  will  come  one  day  in  great  request. 

Jack  Drum's  Entertainment.  1601. 

Out  cam  the  gudeman,  and  laigh  he  louted  ; 
Out  cam  the  gudewife,  and  heigh  she  shouted  j 
And  a'  the  toun-neibours  gathered  ab  <ut  it ; 
And  there  he  lay,  1  trow. 

The  Cauldrife  Wooer.— Old  Song. 

The  time  of  Tammie  Bodkin's  apprenticeship  being 
nearly  worn  through,  it  behooved  me,  as  a  man  attentive  to 
business  and  the  interests  of  my  family,  to  cast  my  eyes 
around  me  in  search  of  a  callant  to  fill  his  place,  as  it  is 
customary  in  our  trade  for  young  men,  when  their  time  is 
out,  taking  a  year's  journeymanship  in  Edinburgh,  to  per- 
fect them  in  the  more  intricate  branches  of  the  business, 
and  learn  the  newest  manner  of  the  French  and  London 
fashions,  by  cutting  cloth  for  the  young  advocates,  the  col- 
lege students,  and  the  rest  of  the  principal  tip  top  bucks. 

Having,  though  I  say  it  myself,  the  word  of  being  a  canny 
maister,  more  than  one  brought  their  callants  to  me,  on 
reading  the  bill  of  "  An  apprentice  wanted"  pasted  on  my 
shop-window. 

Offering  to  bind  them  for  the  regular  time,  yet  not  wish- 
ing to  take  but  one,  I  thought  best  not  to  fix  in  a  hurry, 
and  make  choice  of  him  that  seemed  more  exactly  cut  out 
for  my  purpose.  In  the  course  of  a  few  weeks  three  or  four 
cast  up,  among  whom  was  a  laddie  of  Ben  Aits,  the  meal- 
monger,  and  a  son  of  William  Burlings  the  baker  ;  to  say 
little  of  the  callant  of  Saunders  Broom  the  sweep,  that 
would  fain  have  put  his  blackit  looking  bit  creature  with 
the  one  ee  under  my  wing  $  but  I  aye  looked  to  respect- 


MY   FIRST   ANU   LAST    PLAY.  147 

ability  in  these  matters  ;  so  glad  was  1  when  I  got  the  offer 
of  Mungo  Glen — But  more  of  this  in  half- a- minute. 

i  must  say  I  wa>  glad  of  any  feasible  excuse  to  make  to 
the  sweep,  to  get  quit  of  him  and  his  laddie,  the  father  being 
a  drucken  ne'*r  do  weel,  that  1  wonder  did  not  fall  long  ere 
this  time  from  some  chimne\  -head,  and  get  his  neck  broken. 
So  I  told  him  at  long  and  last,  when  he  came  papping  into 
my  shop,  plaguing  me  every  time  he  passed,  that  I  had  fitted 
myself;  and  that  there  would  be  no  need  of  his  taking  the 
trouble  to  call  again.  Upon  which  he  gave  his  black  nieve 
a  desperate  thump  on  the  counter,  making  the  observe,  that 
out  of  respect  for  him  I  might  have  given  his  son  the 
preference.  Though  I  was  a  wee  puzzled  for  an  answer, 
I  said  to  him  for  want  of  a  better,  that  having  a  timber-leg, 
he  could  not  well  creuk  his  hoof  to  the  shopboard  for  our 
trade 

fc*  Hout,  touts,"  said  Saunders,  giving  his  lip  a  smack, 
' — "  Creuk  his  hough,  ye  body  you  !  Do  you  think  his  tim- 
ber-!t;g  canna  screw  off? — That'll  no  pass." 

I  was  a  wee  dumbfoundered  at  his  cieverness.  So  I  said, 
more  on  mv  guard,  "  True,  true,  Saunders,  but  he  *s  ower 
little:' 

<*  Ower  little,  and  be  hanged  to  ye  !"  cried  the  disrespect- 
ful fellow,  wheeling  about  on  his  heel,  as  he  grasped  the 
sneck  of  the  shop-door,  and  gave  a  girn  that  showed  the 
only  dean  parts  of  his  body, — to  wit,  the  whites  of  his  een, 
and  his  sharp  teeth  ; — "  Ower  little  1 — Pu,  pu  !—  He  s  like 
the  blackamoor's  pig,  then,  Maister  Wauch, — he  's  like  the 
blackamoor's  pig — he  may  be  ver'  leetle,  but  he  be  tarn 
ould  ;"  and  with  this  he  showed  his  buck,  clapping  the  door 
at.  hi*  tail  without  wishing  a  good  day  ;  and  1  am  scarcely 
sorry  when  I  confess,  that  I  never  cut  cloth  for  either  father 
or  so?*  from  that  hour  to  this  one,  the  losing  of  such  a  cus- 
tomer being  no  great  matter  at  best,  and  almost  clear  gain, 
compared  with  saddling  myself  with  a  culiant  with  only  one 
ee  and  one  leg ;  the  one  having  fallen  a  victim  to  the  dregs 
of  the  measles,  and  the  other  having  been  harled  off  by  a 
farmer's  threshing-mill.  However,  I  got  myself  properly 
suited  ; — but  ye  shall  hear. 

Our  neighbour  Mrs.  Grassie,  a  widow  woman,  unco 
intimate  with  our  wife,  and  very  attentive  to  Benjie  when  he 
had  the  chincough,  had  a  far-away  cousin  ot_the  name  of 
Glen,  that  held  out  among  the  howes  of  the  Lammermoor 


148  LIFE  OF  MANSFE  WATJOH. 

bills, — a  distant  part  of  the  country,  ye  observe.  Auld  Glen, 
a  decent-looking  body  of  a  creature,  had  come  in  with  his 
sheltie,  about  some  private  matters  of  business — such  as  the 
buying  of  a  horse,  or  something  to  that  effect,  where  he 
could  best  fall  in  with  it,  either  at  our  fair,  or  the  Grass- 
market,  or  such  like  ;  so  he  had  up-pitting  free  of  expense 
from  Mrs.  Grassie,  on  account  of  his  relationship  ;  Glen 
being  second  cousin  to  Mrs.  Grassie's  brother's  wife,  which 
is  deceased  I  might,  indeed,  have  mentioned,  that  our 
neighbour  herself  had  been  twice  married,  and  had  the  misery 
of  seeing  out  both  her  gudemen  ;  but  sic  was  the  will  of 
fate,  and  she  bore  up  with  perfect  resignation. 

Havinor  mad-  a  bit  warm  dinner  ready,  for  she  was  a  tidy 
body,  and  knew  what  was  what,  she  thought  she  could  not 
do  better  than  ask  in  a  reputable  neighbour  to  h«*h>  her  friend 
to  eat  it,  and  take  a  cheerer  with  hi  in  ;  as,  maybe,  being  a 
stranger  like,  he  would  not  like  to  use  the  freedom  of  drink- 
ing by  himself, — a  custom  which  is  at  the  besfe  an  unsocial 
one, — especially  with  none  but  women  folk  near  him  ;  so  she 
did  me  the  honour  to  make  choice  of  me — though  I  say  it, 
who  should  not  say  it  ; — and  when  we  got  our  jug  filled  for 
the  second  time,  and  began  to  grow  better  acquainted,  ye 
would  just  wonder  to  see  how  we  became  merry,  and  cracked 
away  just  like  two  pen  guns.  I  asked  him.  ye  see,  about 
sheep  and  cows,  and  corn  and  hay,  and  ploughing  and 
thrashing,  and  horses  and  carts,  and  fallow  land,  and 
lambing-time,  and  haVst.  and  making  cheese  and  butter,  and 
selling  eggs,  and  curing  the  sturdie.  and  the  snifters,  and  the 
batts,  and  such  like  ;  and  he,  in  his  turn,  made  inquiry  re- 
garding broad  and  narrow  cloth,  Kilmarnock  cowls,  worsted 
comforters,  Shetland  hose,  mittens,  leather-caps,  stuffing 
and  padding,  jnetal  and  mule-buttons,  thorls.  pocket-linings, 
serge,  twist,  buckram,  shaping  and  sewing,  back  splaying, 
cloth  runds,  goosing  the  labroad,  bodkins,  black  thread, 
patent  shears,  measuring,  and  all  the  other  particulars  be- 
longing to  our  trade,  which  he  said,  at  long  and  last,  after 
we  had  joked  together,  was  a  power  better  one  than  the 
farming. 

"Ye  should  make  you  son  ane,  then,"  said  I,  "  if  ye 
think  so.      Have  ye  any  bairns  ?" 

kL  Ye'  ve  hit  the  nail  on  the  head. — Od,  man,  if  ye  wasna 
Gae  far  away,  I  would  bind  our  auldest  callant  to  yourseiU 


MY    FIRST   AND   LAST    PLAY.  149 

I  'm  sae  weel  pleased  wi'  yere  gentlemany  manners.  Bui 
I  'm  speaking  havers." 

"  Havers  here  or  havers  there,  what,*'  said  I,  "  is  to  pre- 
vent ye  boarding  him,  at  a  cheap  rate,  either  with  our  friend 
Mrs  Grassie,  or  with  the  wife  ?  Either  of  the  two  would  be 
a  sort  of  mother  to  him." 

"  'Deed  I  daur  say  would  they,"  answered  Maister  Glen, 
stroking  his  chin,  which  was  gey  rough,  and  had  not  got  a 
clean  since  Sunday,  having  had  four  days  of  sheer  growth, 
—our  meeting,  you  will  observe  by  this,  being  on  the 
Thursday  afternoon, — "  'Deed  would  they, — 'Od,  I  maun 
speak  to  the  mistress  about  it." 

On  the  head  of  this  we  had  another  jug,  three  being  cannie, 
after  which  we  were  both  a  wee  tozy-mozy  ;  so  I  dare  say 
Mrs.  Grassie  saw  plainly  that  we  were  getting  into-  a  state 
where  we  would  not  easily  make  a  halt ;  so,  without  letting 
on,  she  brought  in  the  tea-things  before  us,  and  showed  us  a 
play -bill,  to  tell  us  that  a  company  of  strolling  play-actors 
had  come  in  a  body  in  the  morning,  with  a  whole  cartful  oi 
scenery  and  grand  dresses  ;  and  were  to  make  an  exhibition 
at  seven  o'clock,  at  the  ransom  of  a  shilling  a-head,  in  Laird 
Wheatley's  barn. 

Many  a  time  and  often  had  I  heard  of  play-acting ;  and 
of  players  making  themselves  kings  and  queens,  and  saying  a 
great  many  wonderful  things  ;  but  I  had  never  before  an 
6pportunity  of  making  myself  a  witness  to  the  truth  of  these 
hearsays.  So  Maister  Glen,  being  as  full  of  nonsense,  and 
as  fain  to  have  his  curiosity  gratified  as  myself,  we  took  upon 
us  the  stout  resolution  to  go  out  together,  he  offering  to 
treat  me ;  and  I  determined  to  run  the  risk  of  Maister 
Wiggie,  our  minister's  rebuke,  for  the  transgression,  hoping 
it  would  make  no  lasting  impression  on  his  mind,  being  for 
the  first  and  only  time.  Folks  should  not  on  all  occa« 
sions  be  over  scrupulous. 

After  paying  our  money  at  the  door,  never,  while  I  live 
and  breathe,  will  I  forget  what  we  saw  and  heard  that  night. j 
it  just  looks  to  me,  by  all  the  world,  when  I  think  on  it,  like 
a  fairy  dream.  The  place  was  crowded  to  the  ee;  Maister 
Glen  and  me  having  nearly  got  our  ribs  dung  in  before  we 
found  a  seat,  and  they  behind  were  obliged  to  mount  the 
back  benches  to  get  a  sight.  Right  to  the  fore-hand  of  us 
was  a  large  green  curtain,  some  five  or  six  ells  wide,  a  good 
deal  the  worse  of  the  wear,  having  seen  service  through  twe 
13* 


150  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH, 

three  summers  ;  and,  just  in  the  front  of  it,  were  eight  or  ten 
penny  candles  stuck  in  a  bonrd  fastened  to  the  ground,  to  let 
us  see  the  players'  feet  like,  when  they  came  on  the  stage, — 
and  even  before  they  came  on  the  stage,  for  the  curtain  being 
sernnpit  in  length,  we  saw  less  and  feet  moving  behind  the 
scenes  very  neatly  ;  while  two  blind  fiddlers  they  bad  brought 
with  them,  played  the  bonniest  ye  ever  heard.  'Od,  the 
very  music  was  worth  a  sixpence  of  itself. 

The  place,  as  1  said  belore,  was  choke  full,  just  to  excess; 
so  that  one  could  scarcely  breathe,  indeed  i  never  saw  any 
part  so  crowded,  not  even  at  a  tent- preaching,  when  Mr. 
Roarer  was  giving  his  discourses  on  the  building  of  Solomon's 
Temple.  We  were  obligated  to  have  the  windows  opened 
for  a  mouthful  of  fresh  air,  rhe  barn  being  as  close  as  a  baker's 
oven,  my  neighbour  and  me  fanning  our  red  faces  with  our 
hats,  to  keep  us  cool ;  and,  though  all  were  half  stewed,  we 
had  the  worst  of  it,  the  toddy  we  had  taken  having  fermented 
the  blood  of  our  bodies  into  a  perfect  lever. 

Just  at  the  time  that  the  two  blind  fiddlers  were  playing 
the  Downfall  of  Paris,  a  handbell  rang,  and  up  goes  the  green 
curtain ;  being  hauled  to  the  ceiling,  as  1  observed  with  the 
tail  of  my  ee,  by  a  birkie  at  the  side,  that  had  hold  of  a  rope. 
So,  on  the  music  stopping  and  all  becoming  as  still  as  that 
you  might  have  heard  a  pin  fall,  in  comes  a  decent  old  gen- 
tleman at  his  leisure,  well  powdered,  with  an  old  fashioned 
coat  on,  waistcoat  with  flap-pockets,  brown  breeches  with 
buckles  at  the  knees,  and  silk  stockings  with  red  gushats  on 
a  blue  ground.  I  never  saw  a  man  in  such  distress;  he 
stamped  about,  and  better  stamped  about,  dadding  the  end 
of  his  staff  on  the  ground,  and  imploring  all  the  powers  of 
heaven  and  earth  to  help  him  to  find  out  his  run-away 
daughter,  that  had  decamped  with  some  ne'er-do-weil  loon  of 
a  half-pay  captain,  that  keppit  her  in  his  arms  from  her 
bedroom-window,  up  two  pair  of  stairs. 

Every  father  and  head  of  a  family  must  have  felt  for  a 
man  in  his  situation,  thus  to  be  robbed  of  his  dear  bairn,  and 
an  only  daughter  too,  as  he  told  us  over  and  over  again,  as  t 
the  salt  salt  tears  ran  gushing  down  his  withered  face,  and  he 
aye  blew  his  nose  on  his  clean  calendered  pocket  napkin. 
But,  ye  ken,  the  thing  was  absurd  to  suppose  that  we  should 
know  anything  about  the  matter,  having  never  seen  either 
him  or  his  daughter  between  the  een  before,  and  not  kenning 
them  by  headmark  ;  so,  though  we  sympathized  with  him* 


MY    FIRST    AND    LAST    PLAY.  151 

as  folks  ought  to  do  with  a  fellow-creature  in  affliction,  we 
thought  it  best  to  nolo"  our  tongues,  to  see  what  might  cast  up 
better  than  he  expected.  iSo  out  he  went  stumping  at  the 
other  side,  determined,  he  said,  to  find  them  out,  though  he 
should  follow  them  to  the  world's  end,  Johnny  Groat's  House, 
or  something  to  that  effect. 

Har.ilv  was  his  ba<k  turned,  and  almost  before  ye  could 
cry  Jack  Ho  bison,  in  comes  the  birkie  and  the  very  young- 
lady  ttie  old  gentleman  described,  arm-and-arm  together, 
smoodging  and  laughing  like  daft.  Dog  on  it !  it  was  a 
shameless  piece  of  business.  As  true  as  death,  before  all 
the  crowd  of  folk,  he  put  his  arm  round  her  waist,  and  caller 
her  his  sweetheart,  and  love,  and  dearie,  and  darling,  and 
everything  that  is  line.  If  they  had  been  courting  in  a  closs 
together  on  a  Friday  night,  they  could  not  have  said  more  to 
one  another,  or  gone  greater  lengths.  1  thought  such  shame 
to  be  an  eye.  witness  to  sic  on-goings,  that  I  was  obliged  at 
last  to  hold  up  my  hat  before  my  face,  and  look  down ; 
though,  for  all  that,  the  young  lad,  to  be  such  a  blackguard 
as  his  conduct  showed,  was  well  enough  faured,  and  had  a 
good  coat  to  his  back,  with  double  gilt  buttons,  and  fash- 
ionable lapells,  to  say  little  of  a  very  well-made  pair  of 
buckskins,  a  little  the  worse  of  the  wear  to  be  sure,  but 
which,  if  they  had  been  well  cleaned,  would  have  looked 
almost  as  good  as  new.  How  they  had  come  we  never  could 
learn,  as  we  neither  saw  chaise  nor  gig  ;  but,  from  his  having 
spurs  on  his  boots,  it  is  more  than  likely  that  they  had  lighted 
at  the  back  door  of  the  barn  from  a  horse,  she  riding  on  a 
pad  behind  him  maybe,  .with  her  hand  round  his  waist. 

The  father  looked  to  be  a  rich  old  bool,  both  from  his 
manner  of  speaking,  and  the  rewards  he  seemed  to  offer  for 
the  apprehension  of  his  daughter ;  but,  to  be  sure,  when  so 
many  of  us  were  present  that  had  an  equal  right  to  the 
spulzie,  it  would  not  be  a  great  deal  a  thousand  pounds 
when  divided,  still  it  was  worth  the  looking  after;  so  we 
just  bidit  a  wee. 

Things  were  brought  to  a  bearing,  howsoever,  sooner 
than  either  themselves,  I  dare  say,  or  anybody  else  present, 
seemed  to  have  the  least  glimpse  of;  for,  just  in  the  middle 
of  their  fine  goings-on,  the  sound  of  a  coming  foot  was 
heard,  and  the  lassie,  taking  guilt  to  her,  cried  out,  *•  Hide 
me,  hide  me,  for  the  sake  of  goodness,  for  yonder  comes  rm 
old  father !" 


152  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

No  sooner  said  than  done.  In  he  stappit  her  into  a  closet ; 
and,  after  shutting  the  door  on  her,  he  sat  down  upon  a  chair, 
pretending  to  be  asleep  in  a  moment.  The  old  father  came 
bouncing  in,  and  seeing  the  fellow  as  sound  as  a  top,  he  ran  for- 
ward and  gied  him  such  a  shake,  as  if  he  would  have  shooken 
him  all  sundry  ;  which  soon  made  him  open  his  een  as  last 
as  he  had  steeked  them.  After  blackguarding  the  chield  at 
no  allowance,  cursing  him  up  hill  and  down  dale,  and  calling 
him  every  name  but  a  gentleman,  he  held  his  staff  over  his 
crown,  and  gripping  him  by  the  cuff  of  the  neck,  asked 
him  what  he  had  made  of  his  daughter.  Never  since  I  was 
born  did  I  ever  see  such  brazen-faced  impudence !  The  rascal 
had  the  brass  to  say  at  once,  that  he  had  not  seen  word  or 
wittens  of  the  lassie  for  a  month,  though  more  than  a  hun- 
dred folk  sitting  in  his  company  had  seen  him  dauting  her 
with  his  arm  round  her  jimpy  waist,  not  five  minutes  before. 
As  a  inan,  as  a  father,  as  an  elder  of  our  kirk,  my  corruption 
was  raised,  for  I  aye  hated  lying,  as  a  poor  cowardly  sin,  and 
an  inbreak  on  the  ten  commandments ;  and  I  found  my 
nei'bour,  Mr.  Glen,  fidgetting  on  the  seat  as  well  as  me  ;  so 
1  thought,  that  whoever  spoke  first,  would  have  the  best 
right  to  be  entitled  to  the  reward ;  whereupon,  just  as  he 
was  in  the  act  of  rising  up,  I  took  the  word  out  of  his  mouth, 
saying,  M  Dinna  believe  him,  auld  gentleman — dinna  believe 
him,  friend;  he's  telling  a  parcel  of  lees.  Never  saw  her 
for  a  month !  It 's  no  worth  arguing,  or  calling  witnesses  ; 
just  open  that  press-door,  and  ye  '11  see  whether  I  'm  speak- 
ing truth  or  not." 

The  old  man  stared,  and  looked  dumfoundered  ;  and  the 
young  man,  instead  of  running  forward  with  his  double  nieves 
to  strike  me,  the  only  thing  I  was  feared  for,  began  a  laugh- 
ing, as  if  I  had  done  him  a  good  turn.  But  never  since  I 
had  a  being,  did  I  ever  witness  such  an  uproar  and  noise  as 
immediately  took  place.  The  whole  house  was  so  glad  that 
the  scoundrel  had  been  exposed,  that  they  set  up  siccan  a 
roar  of  laughter,  and  thumped  away  at  siccan  a  rate  at  the 
boards  with  their  feet,  that  at  long  and  last,  with  pushing 
and  fidgetting,  and  holding  their  sides,  down  fell  the  place 
they  call  the  gallery  ;  all  the  folk  in 't  being  hurl'd  topsy- 
turvy, head  foremost  among  the  saw-dust  on  the  floor  below  ; 
their  guffawing  soon  being  turned  to  howling,  each  one  cry* 
ing  louder  than  another  at  the  top  note  of  their  voices, 
u  Murder  !  murder !  haud  aff  me ;  murder !  my  ribs  are  in  ; 


MY   FIRST   AND    LAST    PLAY.  163 

murder  !  I  'm  killed  !  I'm  speechless  !"  and  other  lamenta- 
tions to  that  effect ;  so  that  a  rush  to  the  door  took  place, 
in  which  everything  was  overturned — the  doorkeeper  being 
wheeled  away  like  wildfire — the  furms  stramped  to  pieces — 
the  lights  knocked  out — and  the  two  blind  fiddlers  dung- 
head  foremost  over  the  stage,  the  bass  fiddle  cracking  like 
thunder  at  every  bruise.  Such  tearing,  and  swearing,  and 
tumbling,  and  squeeling,  was  never  witnessed  in  the  memory 
of  man,  since  the  building  of  Babel :  legs  being  likely  to  be 
broken,  sides  staved*  in,  eyes  knocked  out,  and  lives  lost ; 
there  being  only  one  door,  and  that  a  small  one  ;  so  that, 
when  we  had  been  carried  off  our  feet  that  length,  my  wind 
was  fairly  gone,  and  a  sick  dwalm  came  over  me,  lights  of 
all  manner  of  colours,  red,  blue,  green,  and  orange,  dancing 
before  me,  that  entirely  deprived  me  of  common  sense  ;  till, 
on  opening  my  eyes  in  ihe  dark,  I  found  myself  leaning 
with  my  broadside  against  the  wall  on  the  opposite  side  of 
the  doss.  It  was  some  time  before  I  minded  what  had 
happened;  so,  dreading  skritn,  1  found  first  the  oi  e  arm, 
and  then  the  other,  to  see  if  they  were  broken — syne  my 
head-— and  syne  both  of  my  legs  ;  but  all,  as  well  as  I  could 
discover,  was  skin- whole  and  scart-free.  On  perceiving  this, 
my  joy  was  without  bounds,  having  a  gr^at  notion  that  I 
had  been  killed  on  the  spot.  So  I  reached  round  my  hand, 
very  thankfully,  to  take  out  my  pocket-napkin,  to  give  my 
brow  a  wip» ,  when,  lo,  and  behold!  the  tail  of  my  Sunday's 
coat  was  furly  off  and  away,  docked  by  the  haunch  buttons. 
So  much  lor  plays  and  play  actors — the  first  and  last,  I 
trust  in  grace,  that  I  shall  ever  see.  But.  indeed.  I  could 
expect  no  better,  after  the  warning  that  Maister  Wiggie  had 
more  than  once  given  us  from  the  pulpit  on  the  subject  ; 
so,  instead  of  getting  my  grand  reward  for  finding  the  old 
man's  daughter,  the  whole  covey  of  them,  no  better  than  a 
set  of  swindlers,  took  leg-bail,  and  made  that  very  night  a 
moonlight  flitting  ;  and  Johnny  Hammer,  honest  man.  that 
had  wrought  from  sunrise  to  sunset,  for  two  days,  fitting  up 
their  place  by  contract,  instead  of  being  well  paid  fir  his 
trouble,  as  he  deserved,  got  nothing  left  him  but  a  ruckle  of 
his  own  good  deals,  all  dung  to  shivers, 


154  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH, 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

THE  BARLEY-FEVKR-AND  REBUKE. 

Sages  their  solemn  een  may  steek, 
And  raise  a  philosophic  reek, 
An*l,  physicalh  ,  cause*,  seek, 

Lt  clime  and  season  ; 
But  tell  me  Whisky'*  name  in  Greek, 

I  11  tell  the  reason. 


Burns. 


On  the  morning  after  the  business  of  the  playhouse  hap- 
pened, I  had  to  take  my  breakfast  jn  my  bed.  a  thing  very 
uncommon  to  me,  being  generally  up  by  cock-craw,  except 
on  Sunday  mornings  whiles,  when  each  one,  according  to 
thv.  bidding  of  the  Fourth  Commandment,  has  a  license  to 
do  as  he  likes  ;  having  a  desperate  sore  head,  and  a  squeam- 
ish jiess  at  the  stomach,  occasioned,  I  julouse,  in  a  great 
measure,  from  what  Mr.  Glen  and  me  had  discussed  at 
Widow  Grassie's,  in  the  shape  of  warm  toddy,  over  our 
cracks  concerning  what,  is  railed  the  agricultural  and  manu- 
facturing interests  So  ou:  wife,  poor  body,  put  a  thimble- 
ful of  brandy,  Thomas  Mixem's  reaK  into  my  first  cup  of 
tea.  which  had  a  wonderful  virtue  in  putting  all  things  to 
rights  ;  so  that  I  was  up  and  had  shaped  a  pair  of  lady's 
corsets,  an  article  in  which  I  sometimes  dealt,  before  ten 
o'clock,  though,  the  morning  being  rather  cold,  1  did  not 
dispense  with  my  Kilmarnock 

At  eleven  in  the  forenoon,  or  thereabouts,  maybe  five 
minutes  before  or  after,  but  no  matter,  in  comes  my  crony, 
Maister  Glen,  rather  dazed- like  about  the  een  ;  and  with  a 
large  piece  of  white  stieking-plaister,  about  half  a  nail  wide, 
across  one  of  his  cheeks,  and  over  the  brig  of  his  nose  ; — 
giving  him  a  vvauf,  outlandish,  and  rather  blackguard  sort 
of  appearance  ;  so  I  was  a  thought  uneasy  at  what  nei'bours 
might  surmise  concerning  our  intimacy  ?  but  thef  honest 
man  accounted  for  the  thing  in  a  very  feasible  manner,  from 
the  falling  down  on  that  side  of  his  head  of  one  of  the  brass 
candlesticks,  while  he  was  lying  on  his  broadside,  before  one 
of  the  furms  in  the  stramash. 


THE  BARLEY-FEVER AND  REBUKE.        155 

His  purpose  of  calling  was  to  tell  me,  that  he  could  not 
leave  the  town  without  looking  in  upon  me  to  bid  me  fare- 
well ;  more-be-token,  as  he  intended  sending  in  his  son 
Mungo  by  the  carriei  for  trial,  to  see  how  the  line  of  life 
pleased  him,  and  how  I  thought  he  would  answer, — a  thing 
which  I  was  glad  came  from  his  side  of  the  house,  being 
likely  to  be  in  the  upshot  the  best  for  both  parties.  Yet  I 
thought  he  would  find  our  way  of  doing  so  canny  and  com- 
fortable, that  it  was  not  very  likely  he  could  ever  start  ob- 
jections ;  and  I  must  confess,  that  I  looked  forward  with 
no  small  degree  of  pride,  seeing  the  probability  of  my  soon 
-having  the  son  of  a  Lamrnertnuir  farmer  sitting  cross-legged, 
cheek  for  jowl,  with  me  on  the  board,  and  bound  to  serve 
me  at  all  lawful  times,  by  night  and  day,  by  a  regular  inden- 
ture of  five  years.  Maister  Glen  insisted  on  the  laddie  hav- 
ing a  three  months'  trial  ;  and  then,  after  a  wee  show  of 
standing  out,  just  to  make  him  aware  that  I  could  be  else- 
where fitted  if  I  had  a  mind,  I  agreed  that  the  request  was 
reasonable,  and  that  I  had  no  earthly  objections  to  conform- 
ing with  it.  So,  after  giving  him  his  meridian,  and  a  bite 
of  short-bread,  we  shook  hands,  and  parted  in  the  under- 
standing, that  his  son  would  arrive  on  the  top  of  limping 
Jamie  the  carrier's  cart,  in  the  course,,  say  of  a  fortnight. 

Through  the  whole  of  the  forepart  of  the  day,  I  remained 
rather  queerish,  as  if  something  was  working  about  my  in- 
wards, and  a  droll  pain  between  my  een.  The  wife  saw 
the  case  I  was  in,  and  advised  me,  for  the  sake  of  the  fresh 
air,  to  take  a  step  into  the  bit  garden,  and  try  a  hand  at  the 
spade,  the  smell  of  the  new  earth  being  likely  to  operate  as 
a  cordial  ;  but  no — it  would  not  do  ;  and  when  I  came  in, 
at  one  o'clock,  to  my  dinner,  the  steam  of  the  fresh  broth, 
instead  of  making  me  feel,  as  usual,  as  hungry  as  a  hawk, 
was  like  to  turn  my  stomach,  while  the  sight  of  the  sheep's 
head,  one  of  the  primest  ones  I  had  seen  the  whole  season, 
made  me  as  sick  as  a  dog  ;  so  I  could  do  nothing  but  take 
a  turn  out  again,  and  swig  away  at  the  small  beer,  that 
never  seemed  able  to  slocken  my  drouth.  At  long  and  last, 
I  minded  having  heard  Andrew  Redbeak,  the  excise-officer, 
say,  that  nothing  ever  put  him  right  after  a  debosh,  except 
something  they  call  a  bottle  of  soda-water  ;  so  my  wife 
despatched  Benjie  to  the  place  where  we  knew  it  could  be 
found,  and  he  returned  in  a  jiffie  with  a  thing  like  a  blacking 
bottle  below  his  daidly,  as  he  was  bidden,     There  being  a 


156  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAI7CH. 

wire  over  the  cork,  for  some  purpose  or  other,  or  maybe  1 
just  to  look  neat,  we  had  some  fight  to  get  it  torn  away, 
but  at  last  we  succeeded.      I    had  turned  about  for  a   jug, 
and  the  wife  was  rummaging  tor  the  screw,  while   Benjie 
was  fiddling  away  with  his  fingers  at  the  cork — Save  us !  all  I 
at  once  it  gave  a  thud  like  thunder,  driving  the  cork  over  1 
poor  Benjie's  head,  while  it  spouted  up*  in  his  een  like  a  fire  I 
engine,  and  f  had  only  just  time  to  throw  down  the  jug,  and 
up  with  the  bottle  to  my  mouth.     Luckily,  for  the  sixpence 
it  cost,  there  was  a  drop  left,  which  tasted,  by  all  the  world, 
just  like  brisk  dish-washings  ;   but  for  all  that,  it  had  a  won- 
derful power  of  setting  me  to  rights  ;  and  my  noddle,  in  a 
while,  began  to  clear  up,  like  a  March- day  after  a  heavy 
shower. 

I  mind  very  well,  too,  on  the  afternoon  of  the  'dividual 
same  day,  that  my  door-neighbour,  Thomas  Burlings,  popped 
In  ;  and,  in  our  two  handed  crack  over  the  counter,  after 
asking  me  in  a  dry,  curious  way,  if  I  had  come  by  no  skaith 
in  the  business  of  the  play;  he  said,  the  thing  had  now  spread 
far  and  wide,  and  was  making  a  great  noise  in  the  world. —  , 
I  thought  the  body  a  wee  sharp  in  his  obser\es  ;  so  I  pre* 
tended  to  take  it  quite  lightly,  proceeding  in  my  shaping- 
out  a  pair  of  buckskin  breeches,  which  I  was  making  for 
one  of  the  Duke's  huntsmen  ;  so,  seeing  he  was  off  the 
Scent,  he  said,  in  a  more  jocose  way — 

"  Well,  speaking  about  buckskins,  I'll  tell  yea  guid  story 
about  that." 

"  Let  us  hear*t,"  said  I  ;  for  I  was  in  that  sort  of  queer- 
ish  way,  that  1  did  not  care  much  about  being  very  busy. 

"  Ye'se  get  it  as  I  heard  it,''  quo'  Thomas  ;  "  and  it's 
no  less  worth  telling,  that  it  bears  a  good  moral  application 
in  its  tail ;  after  the  same  fashion  that  a'blister  does  good  I 
by  sucking  away  the  vicious  humours  of  the  body,  thereby 
making  the  very  pain  it  gives  precious."  And  here — though 
maybe  it  was  just  my  thought — the  body  stroked  his  chin, . 
and  gave  me  a  kind  of  half  gley,  as  much  as  saying,  "  take 
that  to  ye,  nei'bour."  But  I  deserved  it  all,  and  could  not 
take  it  ill  off  his  hand,  being,  like  myself,  one  of  the  elders 
of  our  kirk,  and  an  honest  enough,  precise-speaking  man. 

"  Ye  see,  ye  ken,"  said  Thomas,  "  that  the  Breadalbane 
Fencibles,  a  wheen  Highland  birkies,  were  put  into  camp  at 
Fisherrow  links,  maybe  for  the  benefit  of  their  douking,  o*n  | 


THE  BARLEY-FEVER — AND  REBUKE.        157 

account  of  the  fiddle* — or  maybe  in  case  the  French  should 
land  at  the  water-mouth— -or  maybe  to  give  the  regiment 
the  benefit  of  the  sea  air — or  maybe  to  make  their  bare 
houghs  hardier,  for  it  was  the  winter  time,  frost  and  snaw 
being  as  plenty  as  ye  like,  and  no  sae  scarce  as  pantaloons 
among  the  core — or  for  some  ither  reason,  guid,  bad,  or  in- 
different, which  disna  muckle  matter  ;  but  ye  see  the  lang 
and  the  short  o'  the  story  is,  that  there  they  were  encamped, 
man  and  mother's  son  of  them,  going  through  their  dreels 
by  day,  and  sleeping  by  night — the  privates  in  their  tents, 
and  the  offishers  in  their  marquees,  living  in  the  course  of 
nature  on  their  usual  rations  of  beef,  and  tammies,  and  so 
on.  So,  ye  understand  me,  there  was  nae  such  smart  or- 
dering of  things  in  the  army  in  those  days,  the  men  not  hav- 
.  ing  the  beef  served  out  to  them  by  a  butcher,  supplying 
each  company  or  companies  by  a  written  contract,  drawn 
up  between  him  and  the  paymaster  before  'sponsible  wit- 
nesses ;  but  ilka  ane  bringing  what  pleased  him,  either  tripe, 
trotters,  steaks,  cows-cheek,  pluck,  hough,  spar-rib,  jigget, 
or  so  forth.1' 

"  '  )d  !"  said  I,  "  Thomas,  ye  crack  like  a  minister. — 
Where  did  ye  happen  to  pick  up  all  that  knowledge  ?" 

"  Where  should  I  have  got  it  but  from  an  auld  half-pay 
sergeant-major,  that  lived  in  our  spare  room,  and  had  been 
out  in  the  American  war,  having  seen  a  power  of  service, 
and  been  twice  wounded,  Once  in  the  aff-cuit,  and  the  other 
time  in  the  cuff  of  the  neck." 

11 1  thought  as  muckle,"  said  I — "  Weel,  say  on,  man, 
it 's  unco  entertaining." 

"  Weel,"  continued  he,  "  let  rne  see  where  I  Was  at  when 
ye  stoppit  me  ;  for  maybe  I  '11  hae  to  begin  at  the  beginning 
again.  For  gif  ye  yenterrupt  me,  or  edge  in  a  word,  or  put 
me  out  by  asking  questions,  I  lose  the  thread  of  my  dis- 
course, and  canna  proceed." 

"  Ou,  let  me  see,"  said  I ;  "  ye  was  about  the  contract , 
concerning  the  beef." 

"  Preceesely,"  quo'  Thomas,  stretching  out  his  fore-finger, 
u  ye  've  said  it  to  a  hair.  At  that  time,  as  I  was  observing, 
the  butcher  didna  supply  a  company  or  companies,  accord- 
ing to  the  terms  of  a  contract,  drawn  up  before  'sponsible 
witnesses,  between  him  and  the  paymaster  ;  but  the  soldiers 

*  See  Dr.  Jaraieson.— » P.  D, 
14 


158  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WATJCH. 

got  beef-money  along  with  their  pay  ;  with  which  said 
money,  given  them,  ye  observe,  for  said  purpose,  they  were 
bound  and  obligated,  in  terms  of  the  statute,  to  buy,  pur- 
chase, and  provide,  the  said  beef,  twice  a-week  or  oftener, 
as  it  might  happen  ;  an  orderly  offisher  making  inspection 
of  the  camp-kettles  regularly  every  forenoon  at  one  o'clock 
or  thereabouts. 

"  So,  as  ye'll  pay  attention  to  observe,  there  was  a  private 
in  Captain  M'Tavish's  company,  the  second  to  the  left  of 
the  centre,  of  the  name  of  Duncan  Mac  Alpine,  a  wee,  hardy, 
blackaviced,  in-knee'd  creature,  remarkable  for  naething 
that  ever  I  heard  tell  of,  except  being  reported  to  have  shot- 
ten  a  gauger  in  Badenough,  or  thereabouts  ;  and  for  having 
a  desperate  red  nose,  the  effects,  ye  observe,  of  drinking 
spirituous  liquors  ;  ye  observe,  I  daur  say,  the  effects  of 
drinking  malt  speerits. 

"  Weel,  week  after  week  passed  ower,  and  better  passed 
ower,  an  Duncan  played  aff  his  tricks,  like  anither  Herman 
'Boaz,  the  slight-o'-hand  juggler,  him  that 's  suspeckit  to  be 
in  league  and  paction  with  the  de'il.     But  yell  hear." 

"  'Od,  it 's  diverting,  Thomas,"  said  I  to  him,  "  gang  on, 
man." 

u  Weel,  ye  see,  as  I  was  observing.  Let  me  see,  where 
was  I  at  ? — Ou  ay,  having  a  paction  with  the  de'il.  So, 
when  all  were  watching  beside  the  campkettles,  some  stirring 
them  with  spurtles,  or  parritch-sticks,  or  forks,  or  whatever 
was  necessary,  the  orderly  offisher  made  a  point  and  prac- 
tice of  regularly  coming  bye,  about  the  chap  of  one  past 
meridian,  as  I  observed  to  ye  before,  to  make  inspection  of 
what  ilka  ane  had  wared  his  pay  on,  and  what  he  had  got 
simmering  in  the  het  water  for  his  dinner. 

"  So,  on  the  day  concerning  which  I  am  about  to  speak, 
it  fell  out,  as  usual,  that  he  happened  to  be  making  his 
rounds,  halting  a  moment,  or  twa  maybe,  before  ilka  pot ; 
the  man  that  had  the  charge  thereof,  by  the  way  of  stirring 
like,  clapping  down  his  lang  fork,  and  bringing  up  the  piece 
of  meat,  or  whatever  he  happened  to  be  making  kail  of,  to 
let  the  inspector_see  whether  it  was  lamb,  pork,  beef,  mut- 
ton, or  veal.  For,  ye  observe,"  continued  Thomas,  giving 
me,  as  I  took  it  to  myself,  another  queer  side  look,  "  the 
purpose  of  the  offisher  making  the  inspection,  was  to  see 
that  they  laid  out  their  pay-money  conform  to  military  regu- 
lation ;  and  not  to  fyling  their  stamicks,  and  ruining  baith 


THE  BARLEY  FEVER — AND  REBUKE.        159 

sowl  and  body,  by  throwing  it  away  on  whisky, — as  but 
ower  mony,  that  aiblins  should  hae  kenned  better,  have  dune 
but  too  often." 

"  'Tis  but  ower  true,"  said  f  till  him  ;  "  but  the  best 
will  fa*  intil  a  faut  sometimes.  We  have  a'  our  failings, 
Thomas." 

"  Just  so,"  answered  Thomas  ;  "  but  where  was  1  at  ? — 
Qu,  about  the  whisky.  Weel,  speaking  about  the  whisky, 
ye  see  the  offisher,  Lovetenant  'i  odrick,  I  b'lief  they  called 
him,  had  made  an  observe  about  Duncan's  kettle  ;  so,  when 
he  came  to  him,  Duncan  was  sitting  in  the  lown  side  of  a 
dyke,  with  his  red  nose,  and  a  pipe  in  his  cheek,  on  a  big 
stane,  glow  ring  frae  him  anither  way  ;  and  as  1  was  saying, 
when  he  came  to  him  he  said, 

"  '  Weel,  Duncan  Mac  Alpine,  what  have  ye  in  your  kettle 
the  day  man ?' 

"  And  Duncan,  rinning  down  his  'ang  fork,  answered  in 
his  ain  Highland  brogue  way — fc  Please  your  honours,  just 
my  auld  favourite,  tripe.' 

"  l  Deed,  Duncan,'  said  Lovetenant  Todrick,  or  whatever 
they  caa'd  him,  t  it  is  an  auld  favourite  surely,  for  I  have 
never  seen  ye  have  ony thing  Hse  for  your  dinner  man  ' 

u  '  Every  man  to  his  taste,  please  your  honour,'  answered 
Duncan  MacAlpine  ;  fc  let  ilka  ane  please  her  hain  sell,1 — 
hauling  up  a  screed  half  a  yard  Jang  k  Ilka  man  to  his  taste, 
please  your  honour,  Lovetenant  Todrick — '  " 

"  'Od,  man,"  said  I  to  him.  "  rOd,  rrran,  ye  're  a  deacon 
at  telling  a  story.  Ye 're  a  queer  hand.  Weel,  what  came 
next  ?" 

"  What  think  ye  should  come  next  ?"  quo'  Thomas  drily, 

"  I'm  sure  I  dinna  ken,"  answered  1 

"  Weel,'1  said  he,  tfc  l''ll  tell — but  where  was  I  at  ?" 

"  Ou,  at  the  observe  of  Lovetenant  Todrick,  or  what 
they  caa'd  him,  about  the  tripe  ;  and  the  answer  of  Duncan 
MacAlpine  on  that  head,  ''That  ilka  man  had  his  ain 
taste.'" 

"  fc  Vera  true,'  said  Lovetenant  Todrick,  "  but  lift  it  out 
a'thegither  on  that  dish,  till  I  get  my  specs  on  ;  for  never 
since  I  was  born,  did  I  ever  see  before  boiled  tripe  with  but- 
tons and  button-holes  intill't." 

At  this  I  set  up  a  loud  laughing,  which  I  could  not  kelp, 
though  it  was  like  to  split  my  sides  ;  but  Thomas  Burlings 
bade  me  whisht  till  I  heard  him  out. 


1G0  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WATCH. 

"  c  Buttons  and  button-holes  V  quo'  Duncan  MacAlpine. 
4  Look  again,  wi'  yere  specs  ;  for  yere  surely  wrang,  Love- 
tenant  Todriek.' 

"  '  Buttons  and  button-holes !  and  'deed  I  am  surely  right, 
Duncan,'  answered  the  Lovetenant  Todriek,  taking  his 
specs  deliberately  off  the  brig  o^  his  nose,  and  faulding  them 
thegither,  as  he  put  them  first  into  his  morocco  case,  and 
syne  into  his  pocket. — fc  Howsomever,  Duncan  MacAlpine, 
I'll  pass  ye  ower  for  this  time,  gif  ye  take  my  warning,  and 
for  the  future,  ware  your  pay-money  on  wholesome  butcher's 
meat,  like  a  Christian,  and  no  be  trying  to  delude  your  ain 
stamick,  and  your  offisher's  een,  by  holding  up,  on  a  fork, 
such  a  heathenish  mak-up  for  a  dish,  as  the  leg  of  a  pair  o' 
buckskin  breeches !" 

"  Buckskin  breeches!"  said  I;  "and  did  he  really  and 
actually  boil  siccan  trash  to  his  dinner  ?" 

"  Nae  sa  far  south  as  that  yet,  friend,"  answered  Thomas. 
u  Duncan  was  not  so  bowed  in  the  intellect  as  ye  imagine, 
and  had  some  spice  of  cleverality  about  his  queer  manoeuvres. 
Eat  siccan  trash  to  his  dinner  !  Mae  mair,  Mansie,  than  ye 
intend  to  eat  that  iron  guse  ye  're  rinning  along  that  piece 
claith ;  but  he  wanted  to  make  his  offishers  believe  that,  his 
pay  gaed  the  right  way  :  like  the  Pharisees  of  old  that  keepit 
praying,  in  ell-lang  faces,  about  the  corners  of  the  streets, 
and  gaed  hame  wi'  hearts  full  of  wickedness  anc}  a'  manner 
of  cheatrie." 

"  And  what  way- did  his  pay  gang  then  ?"  asked  I ;  "  and 
how  did  he  live  ?" 

"  I  telled  ye  before,  frien,"  answered  Thomas,  "  that  he 
was  a  deboched  creature  ;  and,  like  ower  mony  in  the  world, 
likit  weel  what  didna  do  him  ony  good.  It 's  a  wearyfu' 
thing  that  whisky.  I  wish  it  could  be  banished  to  Botanv 
Bay." 

"  Tt  is  that,"  said  I.  "  Muckle  and  nae  little  sin  does  it 
breed  and  produce  in  this  world." 

"  I'm  glad,  quoth  Thomas,  stroking  down  his  chin  in  a  slee 
way,  H  I  'm  glad  the  guilty  should  see  the  folly  o'  their  ain 
ways  :  it 's  the  first  step,  ye  ken,  till  amendment ;  and  indeed 
I  teirt  Maister  "Wiggie,  when  he  sent  me  here,  that  I  could 
almost  become  guid  for  your  being  mair  wary  of  your 
conduct  for  the  future  time  to  come." 

This  was  like  a  thunderclap  to  Die,  and  1  did  not  know, 
for  a  jiffie,  what  to  fee]^  think,  or  do,  more  than  perceiving 


THE    BARLEY- FEVER — ASD   REBUKE.  161 

that  it  was  a  piece  of  devilUb  cruelty  on  their  parts,  taking 
things  on  this  strict.  As  fbi  myself,  1  could  freely  take 
sacred  oath  on  ihe  Book,  thai  I  had  not  had  a  dram  in 
my  head  tor  four  months  before  ,  the  knowledge  of  which 
made  my  corruption  rise  iikt  lig]  tnii  £>.  as  a  man  is  aye  brave 
when  he  is  innocent  :  so.  giving  my  pow  a  bit  scart,  I  said 
briskly,  "  So  ye  're  aitei  seme  session  business  in  this  visit, 
are  ye  ?" 

"  Ye  've  just  guessed  it,''  answered  Thomas  Burlings, 
sleeking  clown  his  front  hair  with  his  fingers,  in  a  sober  way  ; 
"  we  had  a  meeting  this  forenoon  ;  and  it  was  resolved  ye 
should  stand  a  public  rebuke  in  the  meeting-house,  on  Sun- 
day next." 

"  Hang  me,  if  1  do  !"  answered  I.  thumping  my  nieve 
down  with  all  my  might  on  the  counter,  *nd  throwing  back 
my  cowl  behind  me  in  a  comer.  "  INo.  man  J"  added  I, 
snapping  with  great  pith  my  finger  and  thumb  in  Thomas's 
een,  "  no  for  all  the  ministers  and  elders  that  ever  were 
cleckit.  They  may  do  their  best  ;  and  ye  may  tell  them  so, 
if  ye  like.  1  was  born  a  tree  man  ;  1  live  in  a  tree  country  ; 
I  am  the  subject  of  a  free  king  and  constitution1  ;  and  I'll 
be  shot  before  I  submit  to  such  r;>i<k  diabolical  papistry." 

"  Hooly  and  fairly,"  quoth  Thomas,  staring  a  wee  asto- 
nished like,  and  not  a  litre  surprised  to  see  my  birse  up  in 
this  manner  ;  for,  when  he  thought  uj  on  shearing  a  lamb, 
he  found  he  had  catched  a  tartar  ;  so.  calming  down  as  fast 
as  ye  like,  he  said,  tC  Hooiy  and  fairly.  Mansie,"  (or  Maister 
Wauch,  1  believe,  hediu  me  the  honour  to  call  me,)  "  they  '11' 
maybe  no  be  sae  hard  as  they  threaten.  But  ye  ken,  my 
friend,  I  'in  speaking  to  ye  as  a  britfiei  ,  it  was  an  unco-like 
business  for  an  elder,  not  only  to  gang  till  a  play,  which  is 
ane  of  the  deevil'_s  rendevouses,  but  to  gang  therein  a  state 
of  liquor  ;  making  yoursell  a  world's  wonder — and  you  an 
elder  of  our  kirk!     1  put  the  question  to  yourself  soberly  ?" 

His  threatening  I  could  despise,  and  cou'.e  have  fought, 
cuffed,  and  kicked  with  all  the  ministers  and  elders  of  the 
General  Assembly,  to  say  nothing  of  the  Relief  Synod,  and 
the  Burgher  Union,  before  1  would  have  demeaned  myself 
to  yield  to  what  my  inward  spirit  plainly  told  me  to  be  rank 
cruelty  and  injustice  ;  but.  ah  !  his  calm,  brotherly,  flattering 
wayl  could  not  thole  with,  and  the  tears  came  rapping  into 
my  een,  faster  than  it  cared  my  manhood  to  let  be  seen  ;  so 
I  said  till  him,  "  Weel,  weel,  Thomas,  I  ken  I  have  done 
14* 


162         „  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

wrong ;  and  I  am  sorry  for't :  they  '11  never  find  me  in  siccan 
a  scrape  again." 

Thomas  Burlings  then  came  forward  in  a  friendly  way, 
and  shook  hands  with  me ;  telling  that  he  would  go  back 
and  plead  before  them  in  my  behalf.  He  said  this  over  again, 
as  we  parted,  at  my  shop  door  ;  and,  to  do  him  justice, 
surely  he  had  not  been  worse  than  his  word,  for  I  have  aye 
attended  the  kirk  as  usual,  standing,  when  it  came  to  my 
rotation,  at  the  plate,  and  nobody,  gentle  or  semple,  ever 
spoke  to  me  on  the  subject  of  the  play-house,  or  minted 
■he  matter  of  the  Rebuke  from  that  day  to  this. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

THE    AWFUL    NIGHT. 

Ha ! — 'twas  but  a  dream  ; 
But  then  so  terrible,  it  shakes  my  soul ; 
Cold  drops  of  sweat  hang  on  my  trembling  flesh  ; 
My  blood  grows  chilly,  and  I  freeze  with  horror. 

Richard  the  Third. 

The  fire  king  one  day  rather  amorous  felt ; 

He  mounted  his  hot  copper  filly; 
His  breeches  and  boots  were  of  tin,  and  the  belt 
Was  made  of  cast-iron,  for  fear  it  should  melt 

With  the  heat  of  the  copper  colt's  belly. 

Oh  !  then  there  was  glitter  and  fire  in  each  eye, 

For  two  living  coals  were  the  symbols  ; 
His  teeth  were  calcined,  and  his  tongue  was  so  dry, 
It  rattled  against  them  as  though  you  should  try 

To  play  the  piano  in  thimbles. 

Rejected  Addresses. 

In  the  course  of  a  fortnight  from  the  time  I  parted  with 
Maister  Glen,  the  Lauder  carrier,  limping  Jamie,  brought 
his  callant  to  our  shop  door  in  his  hand.  He  was  a  tall, 
slender  laddie,  some  fourteen  years  old,  and  sore  grown 
away  from  his  claes.  There  was  something  genty  and  deli- 
cate-like about  him,  having  a  pale  sharp  face,  blue  een,  a 
nose  like  a  hawk's,  and  long  yellow  hair  hanging  about  hi? 
haftets,  as  if  barbers  were  unco  scarce  cattle  among  the 


THE    AWFUL   NIGHT.  161 

Lowes  of  the  Lammermuir  hills.  Having  a  general  expe- 
rience of  human  nature,  I  saw  that  I  would  have  something 
to  do  towards  bringing  him  to  a  state  of  rational  civilization  ; 
but,  considering  his  opportunities,  he  had  been  well  edu- 
cated, and  I  hked  his  appearance  on  the  whole  not  that  ill. 
To  divert  him  a  while,  as  I  did  not  intend  yoking  him  to 
work  the  first  day,  I  sent  out  Benjie  with  him,  after  giving  him 
some  refreshment  of  bread  and  milk,  to  let  him  see  the  town, 
and  all  the  uncos  about  it.  1  told  Benjie  first  to  take  him 
to  the  auld  kirk,  which  is  one  wonderful  ancient  building ; 
and  as  for  mason- work,  far  before  any  thing  to  be  seen  or 
heard  tell  of  in  our  day, — syne  to  Lugton  brig,  which  is  one 
grand  affair,  hanging  over  the  muckle  water  like  a  rainbow-^ 
syne  to  the  Tolbooth,  which  is  a  terror  to  evil-doers,  and  from 
which  the  Lord  preserve  us  all !- — syne  to  the  Market,  where 
ye'll  see  lamb,  beef,  mutton,  and  veal,  hanging  up  on  cleeks, 
in  roasting  and  boiiing  pieces — spar-rib,  jigget,  shoulder,  and 
heuk-bane,  in  the  greatest  prodigality  of  abundance;  and — 
syne  down  to  the  duke's  gate,  by  looking  through  the  bonny 
white-painted  iron  stanchels  of  which  ye  '11  see  the  deer 
running  beneath  the  green  trees  ;  and  the  palace  itself,  in  the 
inside  of  which  dwells  one  that  needs  not  be  proud  to  call  the 
king  his  cousin. 

Brawly  did  I  ken,  that  it  is  a  wee  after  a  laddie's  being 
loosed  from  his  mother's  apron  string,  and  hurried  from  home, 
till  the  mind  can  make  itself  up  to  stay  among  fremit  folk  ; 
or  that  the  attention  can  be  roused  to  anything  said,  or  done, 
however  simple  in  the  uptake.  So  after  Benjie  brought 
Mungo  home  again,  gey  forfaughten  and  wearitd-out  like,  I 
bade  the  wife  give  him  his  four  hours,  and  told  him  he  might 
go  to  his  bed  as  soon  as  he  liked.  Jalousing  also,  at  the 
same  time,  that  creatures  brought  up  m  the  country  have 
strange  notions  about  them  with  respect  to  supernaturals — 
— such  as  ghaists,  brownies,  fairies,  and  bogles — to  say  no- 
thing of  witches,  warlocks,  and  evil  spirits,  I  made  Benjie 
take  off  his  claes  and  lie  down  beside  him,  as  I  said,  to  keep 
him  warm  ;  but,  in  plain  matter  of  fact  (between  friends) 
that  the  callant  might  sleep  sounder,  finding  himself  in  a 
strange  bed,  and  not  very  sure  as  to  how  the  house  stood  as 
to  the  matter  of  a  good  name. 

Kenning  by  my  own  common  sense,  and  from  long  expe- 
rience of  the  ways  of  a  wicked  world,  that  there  is  nothing 
like  industry,  I  went  to  Mungo's  bedside  in  the  morning,  and 


1G4  LIFE    OF    MAKSIE    WAIX'H. 

wakened  him  betimes.  Iml<  ed  I'm  leeing  there — I  need 
not  call  it  Wakening  him — lor  Benjie  told  me,  when  he  was 
supping  his  parritch  out  of  his  h'frgie  at  brt  aklast-time,  that 
he  never  winked  an  ee  all  nigh,  and  fj  at  sometimes  he  heard 
him  greeting  to  himself  ir.  th<  darl< — such  and  so  powerful 
is  our  love  of  home,  and  tht  U  ice  oi  natural  affection. 
Howsoever,  as  1  was  saying,  I  took  him  ten  the  house  with 
me,  down  to  the  worksi  op,  where  i  had  begun  to  cut  out  a 
pair  of  nankeen  trowseis  lor  a  )oung  lad,  that  was  to  be 
married  the  week  after  to  a  servant-maid  of  Maister  Wiggie's 
— a  trig  quean,  that  afterwards  made  him  a  good  wife,  and 
the  father  of  a  numerous  small  family- 

Speaking  of  nankeen,  I  would  advise  every  one,  as  a 
friend,  to  buy  the  Indian,  and  hot  the  Eritish  kind — the  ex- 
pense of  outlay  being  ill  hained,  even  at  sixpence  a-yard — 
the  latter  not  standing  the  washing,  but  making  a  man's 
legs,  at  a  distance,  look  like  a  yellow  yerline. 

Jt  behooved  me  now  as  a  maister,  I  ent  upon  the  improve- 
ment of  his  'prentice,  to  commence  learning  JViungo  some 
few  of  the  n»)steries  of  our  trade;  so  having  showed  him 
the  way  to  crook  his  hough,  (example  is  better  than  precept, 
as  James  Batter  observes.)  I  taught  him  the  plan  of  holding 
the  needle  ;  and  having  fitted  his  middle-finger  with  a  bot- 
tomless thimble  of  our  own  sort,  J  set  him  to  sewing  the 
cotton-lining  into  one  leg,  knowing  that  it  was  a  part  not 
very  particular,  and  not  very  likely  to  be  seen  ;  so  that  the 
matter  was  not  great,  whether  the  stitching  was  exactly  regu- 
lar, or  rather  in  a  zig-zag  line.  As  is  customary  with  all 
new  beginners,  he  made  a  desperate  awkward  hand  at  it, 
and  of  which  I  would  of  course  have  said  noihing.  but  that 
he  chanced  to  brog  Ins  thumb,  and  completely  soiled  the 
whole  piece  of  work  with  the  stains  t>f  blood  ;  which,  for 
one  thing  could  not  wash  out  without  being  seen  ;  and,  for 
another,  was  an  unlucky  omen  to  happen  to  a  marriage 
garment. 

Every  man  should  be  on  his  guard.  This  was  a  lesson  I 
learned  when  I  was  in  the  volunteers,  at  the  time  Buona- 
parte was  expected  to  land  at  Dunbar.  Luckily  for  me  in 
this  case,  I  had,  by  some  foolish  mistake  or  another,  made 
an  allowance  of  a  half-yard,  over  and  above  what  I  found 
I  could  manage  to  shape  on  ;  so  I  boldly  made  up  my  mind 
to  cut  out  the  piece  altogether,  it  being  in  the  back  seam. 
Tn  that  business  I  trust  I  showed  the  art  of  a  good  tradesman. 


THE    AWFUL   NIGHT.  165 

having  managed  to  do  it  so  neatly,  that  it  could  not  be  no- 
ticed without  the  narrowest  inspection  ;   and  having  the* 
advantage  of  a  covering  by  the  coat-flaps,  had  indeed  no 
chance  of  being  so,  except  on  desperate- windy  days. 

On  the  day  succeeding  that  on  which  this  unlucky  mis- 
chance happened,  an  accident  almost  as  bad  befell,  though 
not  to  me,  farther  than  that  every  one  is  bound,  by  the  Ten 
Commandments,  to  say  nothing  of  his  own  conscience,  to 
take  a  part  in  the  afflictions  that  befall  their  door-nei'bours. 

When  the  voice  of  man  was  wheisht,  and  all  was  sunk  in 
the  sound  sleep  of  midnight,  it  chanced  that  \  was  busy 
dreaming  that  I  was  sitting  one  of  the  spectators,  looking 
at  another  play-acting  piece  of  business.  Before  corning 
this  length,  howsoever,  1  should  by  right  have  observed, 
that  before  going  to  bed,  I  had  eaten  for  my  supper 
part  of  a  blackpudding,  and  two  sausages,  that  widow 
Grassie  had  sent  in  a  compliment  to  my  wife,  being  a  genteel 
woman,  and  mindful  of  her  friends — so  that  I  must  have 
had  some  sort  of  night-mare,  and  not  been  exactly  in  my 
seven  senses — else  1  could  not  have  been  even  dreaming  of 
siccan  a  place.  Well,  as  I  was  saying,  in  the  playhouse  I 
thought  I  was  ;  and,  all  at  once,  I  heard  Maister  Wiggie, 
like  one  crying  in  the  wilderness,  hallooing  with  a  loud 
voice  through  the  window,  bidding  me  flee  from  the  snares, 
traps,  and  gin-nets  of  the  Evil  One  ;  and  from  the  terrors  of 
the  wrath  to  come.  I  was  in  a  terrible  funk  ;  and  just  as  I 
was  trying  to  rise  from  the  seat,  that  seemed  somehow 
glued  to  my  body,  and  would  not  let  me,  to  reach  down  my 
hat,  which,  with  its  glazed  cover,  was  hanging  on  a  pin  to 
one  side,  my  face  all  red,  and  glowing  like  a  fiery  furnace, 
for  shame  of  being  a  second  time  caught  in  deadly  sin,  I 
heard  the  kirk  bell  jow-jowing,  as  if  it  was  the  last  trump 
summoning  sinners" to  their  long  ana*  black  account;  and 
Maister  Wiggie  thrust  in  hi?  arm  in  his  desperation,  in  a 
whirlwind  of  passion,  claughting  hold  of  my  hand  like  a  vice, 
to  drag  me  out  head  foremost.  Even  in  my  sleep,  howso- 
ever, it  appears  that  I  like  free-will,  and  ken  that  there  are 
no  slaves  in  our  blessed  country  ;  so  I  tried  with  all  my 
might  to  pull  against  him,  and  give  his  arm  such  a  drive 
back,  that  he  seemed  to  bleach  over  on  his  side,  and  raised 
a  hullaballoo  of  a  yell,  that  not  only  wakened  me,  but  made 
me  start  upright  in  my  bed. 

For  all  the  world  such  a  scene !  My  wife  was  roaring 
"  Murder,  murder  !— Mansie  Wauch,  will  ye  no  wauken? 


.166  LIFE   OP   MANSIE   WATJCH. 

— Murder,  murder !  ye've  felled  me  wi'  ye're  nieve, — ye've 
felled  me  outright, —  I'm  gone  for  evermair, — my  haill  teeth 
are  doun  my  throat.     Will  ye  no  wauken,  Mansie  W  auch  !   ' 
— will  ye  no  wauken  ? — Murder,  murder! — I  say  murder, 
murder,  murder,  murder ! ! !" 

"  Wha  's  murdering  us  V9  cried  I,  throwing  my  cowl  back 
on  the  pillow,  and  rubbing  my  een  in  the  hurry  of  a  tremen- 
dous fright. — "  Wha's  murdering  us  ? — wbere's  the  robbers  ? 
■ — send  for  the  town-officer  !  I1' 

"  Oh,  Mansie  ! — oh,  Mansie  !"  said  Nanse,  in  a  kind  of 
greeting  tone,  "  I  daursay  ye've  felled  me — but  nae  matter, 
now  I've  gotten  ye  roused.  Do  ye  no  see  the  haill  street  in 
a  bleeze  of  flames  ?  Bad  is  the  best  ;  we  maun  either  be 
burned  to  death,  or  out  of  house  and  hall,  without  a  rag  to 
cover  our  nakedness.  Where's  my  son  ? — w here's  my  dear 
bairn,  Benjie  ?" 

In  a' most  awful  consternation,  1  jumped  at  this  out  to  the 
middle  of  the  floor,  hearii  g  the  causeway  all  in  an  uproar  of 
voices  ;  and  seeing  the  flicftering  of  the  flames  glancing  on 
the  houses  in  the  opposite  side  ol  the  street,  all  the  windows 
of  which  were  fillec;  with  the  he  ads  ot  half-naked  folks,  in 
round-eared  mutches,  or  Kilmarmx  ks  ;  their  mouths  open, 
and  their  pen  staring  with  fright  :  while  the  sound  ol  the  fire- 
engine,  rattling  through  thi  silted  like  thunder,  seemed  like 
the  dead-carr  of  the  ph.gue.  coit:e  to  hum  away  the  corpses 
of  the  deceased,  tor  interment  in  th<   kirk  yard- 

IN  ever  such  a  speclach  was  witnessed  since  the  creation 
of  Adam.  I  pulled  up  th<  window,  and  locked  out — and  lo, 
and  behold  !  the  very  next  house  to  our  own  was  all  in  a  low 
from  cellar  to  garret  :  the  burning  joists  hissing  arfd  cracking, 
like  mad  ;  and  the  very  wind  that  blew  along',  as  waim  as  if 
it  had  been  out  of  t1  t  mc  nth  ot  a  baker's  over;  ! ! 

It  was  a  most  awful  spectacle  !  mair  by  token  to  me,  who 
was  likely  to  be  intimately  concerned  wth  it ;  and.  beating 
my  brow  with  my  clenched  nieve,  like  a  distracted  creature, 
I  saw  that  the  labour  of  n  y  wl  tie  hie  was  Irkel)  to  go  tor 
nought,  and  me  to  be  a  ruined  man  ;  all  the  earnings  of  my 
industry  being  laid  out  on  my  stock  in  trade*,  ar  d  on  the  plen- 
ishing of  our  bit  house.  The  darkness  of  the  latter  cays  came 
over  my  spirit  like  a  vision  betoie  the  prophet  Isaiah  ;  and  I 
could  see  nothing  in  the  years  to  con  e  but  beggary  and  star- 
vation ;  myself  a  fallen-back  old  man,  with  an  out-at-the- 
elbows  coat,  a  greasy  hat,  and   a  bell  pow,  hirpling  over  a 


THE   AWFUL   NIGHT.  167 

staff,  requeeshting  an  awmous — Manse  a  broken-hearted 
beggar  wife,  torn  down  to  tatters,  and  vveeping  like  Rachel 
when  she  thought  on  better  days ;  and  poor  woe  Benjie  going 
from  door  to  door  with  a  meal-pock  on  his  back. 

The  thought  first  dung  me  stupid,  and  then  drove  me  to 
desperation  ;  and  not  even  minding  the  dear  wife  of  my  bosom, 
that  had  fainted  away  as  deal  as  a  herring,  \  pulled  on  my 
trowsers  like  mad,  and  rushe  1  out  into  the  street,  bareheaded 
and  barefoot  as  the  day,  that  Lucky  Bringthereout  brought 
me  into  the  world. 

The  crowd  saw,  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eyeball,  that  I  was 
a  desperate  man,  fierce  as  Sir  William  Wallace,  and  not  to 
be  withstood  by  gentle  or  semple.  So  most  of  them  made 
way  for  me  ;  they  that  tried  to  stop  me  finding  it  a  bad  job, 
being  heeled  over  from  right  to  left,  on  the  broad  of  their 
backs,  like  flounders,  without  respect  of  age  or  person  ; 
some  old  women,  that  were  obstrapulous,  being  gey  sore  hurt, 
and  one  of  them  with  a  pain  in  her  hainch  even  to  this  day. 
When  I  had  got  almost  to  the  door-cheek  of  the  burning  house, 
I  found  one  grupping  me  by  the  back  like  grim  death  ;  and, 
in  looking  over  my  shoulder,  who  was  it  but  Nanse  herself, 
that,  rising  up  from  her  faint,  had  pursued  me  like  a  whirl- 
wind. It  was  a  heavy  trial,  but  my  duty  to  myself  in  the  first 
place,  and  to  my  nei'bours  in  the  second,  roused  me  up  to 
withstand  it ;  so,  making  a  spend  like  a  greyhound,  I  left  the 
hindside  of  my  shirt  in  her  grasp,  like  Joseph's  garment  in  the 
nieve  of  Potiphar's  wife;  and  up  the  stairs  head-foremost 
among  the  flames. 

Mercy  keep  us  a' !  what  a  sight  for  mortal  man  to  glowr 
at  with  his  living  een.  The  bells  were  tolling  amid  the  dark, 
like  a  summons  from  above  for  the  parish  of  Dalkeith  to 
pack  off  to  another  world  ;  the  drums  were  beat-beating  as 
if  the  French  were  coming,  thousand  on  thousand,  to  kill, 
-  slay,  and  devour  every  maid  and  mother's  son  of  us  ;  the 
fire-engine  pump-pump-pumping  like  daft,  showering  the 
„ water  like  rain-bows,  as  if  the  windows  of  Heaven  were 
opened,  and  the  days  of  old  Noah  come  back  again  ;  and 
the  rabble  throwing  the  good  furniture  over  the  windows  like 
ingan  peelings,  where  it  either  felled  the  folk  below,  or  was 
dung  to  a  thousand  shivers  on  the  causeway.  I  cried  to 
them,  for  the  love  of  goodness,  to  make  search  in  the  beds, 
in  case  there  might  be  ony  weans  there,  human  life  being  still 
more  precious  than  human  means  i  but  not  a  living  soul 


168  LIFE    OF  MANSIE    WAUCH. 

was  seen  bat  a  cat,  which,  being  raised  and  wild  with  the 
din,  would  on  no  consideration  allow  itself  to  be  catched. 
Jacob  Dribble  found  that  to  his  cost ;  for,  right  or  wrong, 
having  a  drappie  in  his  head,  he  swore  like  a  trooper  that  he 
would  catch  her,  and  carry  her  down  aneath  his  oxter ;  so 
forward  he  weired  her  into  a  corner,  croutching  on  his 
hunkers.  He  had  much  better  have  let  it  alone  ;  for  it  fufFed 
over  his  shoulder  like  wildfire,  and  scarting  his  back  all  the 
way  down,  jumped  like  a  lamplighter  head  foremost  through 
the  flames,  where,  in  the  raging  and  roaring  of  the  devouring 
element,  its  pitiful  cries  were  soon  hushed  to  silence  for  ever 
and  ever,  Amen ! 

At  long  and  last,  a  woman's  cry  was  heard  on  the  street, 
lamenting,  like  Hagar  over  young  Ishmael  in  the  wilderness 
of  Beersheba,  and  crying  that  her  old  grannie,  that  was  a 
lamiter,  and  had  been  bedridden  for  four  years  come  the 
Martinmas  following,  was  burning  to  a  cinder  in  the  fore- 
garret.  My  heart  was  like  to  burst  within  me  when  1  heard 
this  dismal  news,  remembering  that  1  myself  had  once  an 
old  mother,  that  was  now  in  the  mools  ;  so  I  brushed  up  the 
stair  like  a  hatter,  and  burst  open  the  door  of  the  fore-garret, 
— for  in  the  hurry  [  could  not  find  the  sneck,  and  did  not 
like  to  stand  on  ceremony.  I  could  not  see  my  finger  before 
me,  and  did  not  ken  my  right  hand  from  my  left,  for  the 
smoke;  but  I  groped  round  and  round,  though  the  reek 
mostly  cut  my  breath,  and  made  me  cough  at  no  allowance, 
till  at  last  I  catched  hold  of  something  cold  and  clammy, 
which  I  gave  a  pull,  not  knowing  what  it  was,  but  found 
out  to  be  the  old  wife's  nose.  I  cried  out  as  loud  as  I  was 
able  for  the  poor  creature  to  hoize  herself  up  into  my  arms ; 
but,  receiving  no  answer,  I  perceived  in  a  moment  that  she 
was  suffocated,  the  foul  air  having  gone  down  her  wrong 
hause  ;  and,  though  I  had  aye  a  terror  at  looking  at,  far  less 
handling  a  dead  corpse,  there  was  something  brave  within 
me  at  the  moment,  my  blood  being  up  ;  so  1  caught  hold  of 
her  by  the  shouthers,  and  harling  her  with  all  my  might  out 
©f  her  bed,  got  her  lifted  on  my  back,  heads  and  thraws,  in 
the  manner  of  a  boll  of  meal,  and  away  as  fast  as  my  legs 
could  carry  me. 

There  was  a  providence  in  this  haste  ;  for,  ere  I  was  half 
way  down  the  stair,  the  floor  fell  with  a  thud  like  thunder  ; 
and  such  a  combustion  of  soot,  stour,  and  sparks  arose,  as 
was  never  seen  or  heard  tell  of  in  the  memory  of  man,  since 


THE   AWFUL   NIGHT.  169. 

the  day  that  Sampson  pulled  over  the  pillars  in  the  house  of 
Dagon,  and  sinoored  all  the  mocking  Philistines  as  flat  as 
flounders.  For  the  space  of  a  minute,  I  was  as  blind  as  a 
beetle,  and  was  like  to  be  choked  lor  want  of  breath  ;  how- 
ever, as  the  dust  began  to  clear  up,  I  saw  an  open  window, 
and  hallooed  down  to  the  crowd  for  the  sake  of  mercy  to 
bring  a  ladder,  to  save  the  lives  of  two  perishing  fellow- 
creatures,  for  now  my  own  was  also  in  imminent  jeopardy. 
They  were  long  of  coming,  and  I  did  not  ken  what  to  do  ; 
so  thinking  that  (he  old  wife,  as  she  had  not  spoken,  was 
maybe  dead  already,  I  was  once  determined  just  to  let  her 
drop  down  upon  the  street ;  but  I  knew  that  the  so  doing 
would  have  cracked  every  bone  in  her  body,  and  the  glory 
of  my  bravery  would  thus  have  been  worse  than  lost.  I 
persevered,  therefore,  though  I  was  fit  to  fall  down  under 
the  dead  weight,  she  not  being  able  to  help  herself,  and 
having  a  deal  of  beef  in  her  skin  for  an  old  woman  of  eighty ; 
but  I  got  a  lean,  by  squeezing  her  a  wee,  between  me  and 
the  wall. 

I  thought  they  would  never  have  come,  for  my  shoeless 
feet  were  all  bruised,  and  blooding  from  the  crunched  lime 
and  the  splinters  of  broken  stones  ;  but,  at  long  and  last,  a 
ladder  was  hoisted  up,  and  having  fastened  a  kinch  of  ropes 
beneath  her  oxters,  I  let  her  slide  down  over  the  upper  step, 
by  way  of  a  pillyshee,  having  the  satisfaction  of  seeing  her 
safely  landed  in  the  arms  of  seven  auld  wives,  that  were 
waiting  with  a  cosey  warm  blanket  below.  Having  accom- 
plished this  grand  manoeuvre,  wherein  I  succeeded  in  saving 
the  precious  life  of  a  woman  of  eighty,  that  had  been  four 
long  years  bed-ridden,  I  tripped  down  the  steps  myself  like 
a  nine-year-old,  and  bad  the  pleasure  when  the  roof  fell  in, 
to  ken,  that  I  for  one,  had  done  my  duty  ;  and  that  to  the 
best  of  my  knowledge,  no  living  creature,  except  the  poor 
rsat,  had  perished  within  the  jaws  of  the  devouring  element* 

But,  bide  a  wee ;  the  work  was,  as  yet,  only  rjalf  done. 
The  fire  was  still  roaring  and  raging,  every  puff  of  wind 
that  blew  through  the  black  firmament,  driving  the  red 
sparks  high  into  the  air,  where  they  died  away  like  the  tail 
of  a  comet,  or  the  train  of  a  skyrocket ;  the  joisting,  crazing, 
cracking,  and  tumbling  down  ;  and  now  and  then  the  bursting 
cans,  playing  flee  in  a  hundred  flinders  from  the  chimney- 
heads.  One  would  have  naturally  enough  thought  that  our 
engine  could  have  drowned  out  a  fire  of  ony  kind  whatso- 
15 


170  LIFE    OF    MANSIE    WAUCH. 

ever,  in  half  a  second,  scores  of  folks  driving  about  with 
pitcherfulls  of  water,  and  scaling  half  of  it  on  one  another 
and  the  causeway  in  their  hurry ;  but,  wo  's  me !  it  did  not 
play  puh  on  the  red-net  stones,  that  whizzed  like  iron  in  a 
smiddy  trough ;  so,  as  soon  as  it  was  darkness  and  smoke  in 
one  place,  it  was  fire  and  fury  in  another. 

My  anxiety  was  great :  seeing  that  I  had  done  my  best 
for  my  nei' hours,  it  behooved  me  now%  in  my  turn,  to  try  and 
see  what  1  could  do  for  myself;  so,  notwithstanding  the  re- 
monstrances of  my  friend  James  Batter — whom  JN  arise,  ken- 
ning I  had  bare  feet,  had  sent  out  to  seek  me,  with  a  pair  ot 
shoon  in  his  hand  ;  and,  who,  in  scratching  his  head,  mostly 
rugged  out  every  hair  of  his  wig  with  sheer  vexation — 1  ran 
off,  and  mounted  the  ladder  a  second  time,  and  succeeded, 
after  muckle  speeling,  in  getting  upon  the  top  of  the  wall ; 
where,  having  a  bucket  siung  up  to  me  by  means  of  a  rope, 
I  swashed  down  such  showers  on  the  top  of  the  flames,  that 
i  soon  did  more  good,  in  the  space  of  five  minutes,  than  the 
engine  and  the  ten  men,  that  were  all  in  a  broth  of  perspi- 
ration with  pumping  it,  did  the  whole  night  over  ;  to  say 
nothing  of  the  multitude  of  drawers  of  water,  men,  wives, 
and  weans,  with  their  cudies,  ieglins,  pitchers,  pails,  and 
water-stoups  ;  having  the  satisfaction,  in  a  short  time,  to 
observe  every  thing  getting  as  black  as  the  crown  of  my 
hat,  and  the  gable  of  my  own  house  growing  as  cool  as  a 
cucumber. 

Being  a  man  of  method,  and  acquainted  with  business,  1 
roti Id  have  liked  to  have  given  a  finishing  stitch  to  my  work 
before  corning  down ;  but,  losh  me  !  sic  a  whinging,  girning, 
greeting,  and  roaring,  got  up,  all  of  a  sudden,  as  was  never 
seen  or  heard  of  since  bowed  Joseph  raised  the  meal-mob, 
and  burned  Johnnie  Wilkes  in  eiBgy  ;  and,  looking  down,  J 
saw  Benjie,  the  bairn  of  my  own  heart,  and  the  caiinnt 
Glen,  my  apprentice  on  trial,  that  had  both  been  as  sound 
as  tops  till  this  blessed  moment,  standing  in  their  night- 
gowns and  their  little  red  cowls,  rubbing  their  een,  cowering 
with  cold  and  fright,  and  making  an  awful  uproar,  crying  on 
me  to  come  down,  and  not  be  killed.  The  voice  of  Benjie 
especially  pierced  through  and  through  my  heart,  like  a  two- 
edged  sword,  add  1  could  on  no  manner  of  account,  suffer 
myself  to  bear  them  any  longer,  as  I  jaloused  the  bairn  would 
have  gone  into  convulsion-fits  if  I  had  not  heeded  him  ;  so, 
making  a  sign  to  them  to  be  quiet,  I  came  my  ways  down* 


THE   AWFUL   NtGHT.  17! 

taking  hold  of  one  in  ilka  hand,  which  must  have  been  a 
fatherly  sight  to  the  spectators  that  saw  us.  After  waiting 
on  the  crown  of  the  causeway  for  half  an  hour,  to  make 
sure  that  the  fire  was  extinguished,  and  all  tight  and  right,  ! 
saw  the  crowd  scaling,  and  thought  it  best  to  go  in  too, 
carrying  the  two  youngsters  along  with  me.  When  I  began 
to  move  off,  however,  siccan  a  cheering  of  the  multitude 
got  up  as  would  have  deafened  a  cannon ;  and,  though  I  say 
it  myself,  who  should  not  say  't,  they  seemed  struck  with  a 
sore  amazement  at  my  heroic  behaviour,  following  me  with 
loud  cheers,  even  to  the  threshold  of  my  own  door. 

From  this  folk  should  condescend  to  take  a  lesson,  seeing 
that,  though  the  world  is  a  bitter  bad  world,  yet  that  good 
deeds  are  not  only  a  reward  to  themselves",  but  call  forth  the 
applause  of  Jew  and  Gentile;  for  the  sweet  savour  of  my 
conduct  on  this  memorable  night,  remained  in  my  nostrils 
for  goodness  kens  the  length  of  time,  many  praising  my 
brave  humanity,  in  public  companies,  and  assemblies  of  the 
people,  such  as  strawberry  ploys,  council  meetings,  dinner 
parties,  and  so  forth  ;  and  many  in  private  conversation  at 
their  own  ingle-cheek,  by  way  of  two-handed  crack  ;  in 
stage-coach  confab,  and  in  causeway  talk  i'  the  forenoon, 
before  going  in  to  take  their  meridians.  Indeed,  between 
friends,  the  business  proved  in  the  upshot  of  no  small  advan- 
tage to  me,  bringing  to  me  a  sowd  of  strange  faces,  by  way 
of  customers,  both  gentle  and  scmple,  that  I  verily  believe, 
had  not  so  muckle  as  ever  heard  of  my  name  before,  and 
giving  me  many  a  coat  to  cut,  and  claith  to  shape,  that,  but 
for  my  gallant  behaviour  on  the  fearsome  night  aforesaid, 
would  have  been  cut,  sewed,  and  shaped  by  other  hands. 
Indeed,  considering  the  great  noise  the  thing  made  in  the 
world,  it  is  no  wonder  that  every  one  was  anxious  to  have  a 
garment  of  wearing  apparel  made  by  the  individual  same 
hands  that  had  succeeded,  under  Providence,  in  saving  the 
precious  life  of  an  old  woman  of  eighty,  that  had  been 
bedridden,  some  say,  four  years  come  Yule,  and  others,  come 
Martinmas. 

When  we  got  to  the  ingle-side,  and  barring  the  door,  saw 
that  all  was  safe,  it  was  now  three  in  the  morning  ;  so  we 
thought  it  by  much  the  best  way  of  managing,  not  to  think 
of  sleeping  any  more,  but  to  be  on  the  look-out — as  we  aye 
used  to  be  when  walking  sentry  in  the  volunteers — in  case 
the  flames  should  by  ony  mischancy  accident  or  other,  happen 


172  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAlJCH. 

to  break  out  again.  My  wife  blamed  my  hardihood  muckk 
and  the  rashness  with  which  1  had  ventured  at  once  to 
places  where  even  masons  and  sclaters  were  afraid  to  put 
foot  on,  yet  I  saw,  in  the  interim,  that  she  looked  on  me 
with  a  prouder  ee ;  kenning  herself  the  helpmate  of  one 
that  had  courageously  risked  his  neck,  and  every  bone  in  his 
skin,  in  the  cause  of  humanity.  1  saw  this  as  plain  as  a 
pikestaff,  as,  with  one  of  her  kindest  looks,  she  insisted  on 
my  putting  on  a  better  happing  to  screen  me  from  the  cold, 
and  on  my  taking  something  comfortable  inwardly  towards 
the  dispelling  of  bad  consequences.  So,  after  half  a  minute'e 
stand-out,  by  way  of  refusal  like,  I  agreed  to  a  cupful  of 
het-pint,  as  I  thought  it  would  be  a  thing  Mungo  Glen 
might  never  have  had  the  good  fortune  to  have  tasted  ;  and 
as  it  might  operate  by  way  of  a  cordial  on  the  callant  Benjie, 
who  kept  aye  smally,  and  in  a  dwining  way.  l\o  sooner 
said  than  done — and  off  Nanse  brushed  in  a  couple  of  hur- 
ries to  make  the  het-pint. 

After  the  small  beer  was  put  into  the  pan  to  boil,  we 
found,  to  our  great  mortification,  that  there  were  no  eggs  in 
the  house,  and  Benjie  was  sent  out  with  a  candle  to  the  hen- 
house, to  see  if  any  of  the  hens  had  laid  since  gloaming, 
and  fetch  what  he  could  get.  In  the  middle  of  the  mean 
time,  1  was  expatiating  to  Mungo  on  what  taste  it  would 
have,  and  how  he  had  never  seen  anything  finer  than  it  would 
be,  when  in  ran  Benjie,  all  out  of  breath,  and  his  face  as 
pale  as  a  dishclout. 

u  What 's  the  matter,  Benjie,  what 's  the  matter  ?"  said  I 
to  him,  rising  up  from  my  chair  in  a  great  hurry  of  a  fright 
— u  Has  onybody  killed  ye  ?  or  is  the  fire  broken  out  again  ? 
or  has  the  French  landed  ?  or  have  ye  seen  a  ghaist  ?  or 
are " 

"Eh  crifty!"  cried  Benjie,  coming  till  his  mind,  "they're 
a'  afF — cock  and  hens  and  a'— there's  naething  left  but  the 
rotten  nest-egg  in  the  corner!" 

This  was  an  awful  dispensation,  of  which  more  hereafter. 
In  the  midst  of  the  desolation  of  the  fire — such  is  the  depra- 
vity of  human  nature — some  ne'er-do-weels  had  taken  ad- 
vantage of  my  absence  to  break  open  the  hen-house  door, 
and  our  whole  stock  of  poultry,  the  cock  along  with  our 
seven  hens — two  of  them  tappit,  and  one  muffed,  were 
carried  away  bodily,  stoup  and  roup. 

On  this  subject,  howsoever,  1  shall  say  no  more  in  this 


ADVENTURES    IN    THE   SPORTING    LINE.  173 

chapter,  but  merely  observe  in  conclusion,  that,  as  to  our 
bet-pint,  we  were  obligated  to  make  the  best  of  a  bad  bar- 
gam,  making  up  with  whisky  what  it  wanted  in  eggs  ;  though 
our  banquet  could  not  be  called  altogether  a  merry  one,  the 
joys  of  our  escape  from  the  horrors  of  the  fire,  being  damped, 
as  it  were,  by  a  wet  blanket,  on  account  of  the  nefarious 
pillaging  of  our  hen-house. 


CHAPTER  XX. 

ADVENTURES   IN    THE    SPORTING    LINE. 

I 

A  fig  for  them  by  law  protected, 

Liberty 's  a  glorious  feast ; 
Courts  for  cowards  were  erected. 
Churches  built  to  please  the  priest. 

Jolly  Beggars. 

WV  cauk  and  keel  I'll  win  your  bread, 
And  spindles  and  whorles  for  them  wha  need, 
Whilk  is  a  gentle  trade  indeed, 
,  To  carry  the  Gaberlunzie  on. 

I'll  bow  my  leg  and  crook  my  knee, 
And  draw  a  black  clout  owre  my  ee, 
A  cripple  or  blind  they  will  ca'  me, 
While  we  shall  be  merry  and  sing. 

King  James  V. 

The  situation  of  me  and  my  family  at  this  time,  affords 
an  example  of  the  truth  of  the  old  proverb,  that  "  ae  evil 
never  comes  its  lane  ;"  being  no  sooner  quit  of  our  dread 
concerning  the  burning,  than  we  were  doomed  by  Providence 
to  undergo  the  disaster  of  the  rookery  of  our  hen-house.  I 
believe  I  have  mentioned  the  number  of  our  stock  ;  to  wit, 
a  cock  and  seven  hens,  eight  in  ail ;  but  I  neglected  on  ac- 
count of  their  size,  or  somehow  overlooked  the  two  bantams, 
than  which  two  more  neat  or  curiouser-looking  creatures 
were  not  to  be  seen  in  the  whole  country-side.  The  hennie 
was  quite  a  conceit  of  a  thing,  and  laid  an  egg  not  muckle 
bigger  than  my  thimble  ;  while,  for  size,  the  bit  he-ane  was, 
for  spirit  in  the  fechting  line,  a  perfect  weedeevil  incarnate. 

Most  fortunately  for  my  family  in  this  matter,  it  so  hap- 
pened, that  by  paying  in  half-a-crown  a-year,  I  was  a  regular 
member  of  a  society  for  prosecuting  all  whom  it  might  con- 
15* 


{74  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

cern,  that  dabbled  with  foul  fingers  in  the  sinful  and  lawless 
trade  of  thievery,  breaking  the  eighth  commandment  at  no 
allowance,  and  drawing  on  their  heads  not  only  the  passing 
punishments  of  this  world,  byway  of  banishment  to  Botany- 
Bay,  or  hanging  at  the  Lucken booths,  but  the  threatened 
vengeance  of  one  that  will  last  for  ever  and  ever. 

Accordingly,  putting  on  my  hat  about  nine  o'clock,  or 
thereabouts,  when  the  breakfast  things  were  removing  from 
the  bit  table,  I  poppit  out,  in  the  first  and  foremost  instance, 
to  take  a  vizzy  of  the  depredations  the  flames  had  made  in 
our  neighbourhood.  Losh  keep  us  a',  what  a  spectacle  of 
wreck  and  ruination  !  The  roof  was  clean  off  and  away,  as 
if  a  thunderbolt  from  heaven  had  knocked  it  down  through 
the  two  floors,  carrying  everything  before  it  like  a  perfect 
whirlwind.  Nought  were  standing  but  black,  bare  walls,  a 
perfect  picture  of  desolation  ;  some  with  the  bit  pictures 
on  nails  still  hanging  up  where  the  rooms  were  like  ;  and 
others  with  auld  coats  hanging  on  pins  ;  and  empty  bottles 
in  boles,  and  so  on.  '  Indeed,  Jacob  Glowr,  who  was  stand- 
ing by  my  side  with  his  specs  on,  could  see  as  plain  as  a 
pikestaff,  a  tea-kettle,  still  on  the  fire,  in  the  hearth-place  of 
one  of  the  gable-garrets,  where  Miss  Jenny  Withershins 
lived,  but  happened  luckily,  at  the  time  of  the  conflagration, 
to  be  away  to  Prestonpans,  on  a  visit  to  some  of  her  far- 
away cousins. 

Having  satisfied  my  een  with  a  daylight  view  of  the  ter- 
rible devastation,  I  went  away  leisurely  up  the  street,  with 
my  hands  in  my  breek-pouches,  comparing  the  scene  in  my 
mind  with  the  downfall  of  Babylon  the  Great,  and  Sodom 
and  Gomorah,  and  Tyre  and  Sidon,  and  Jerusalem,  and  all 
the  lave  of  the  great  towns  that  had  fallen  to  decay,  accord- 
ing to  the  foretelling  of  the  sacred  prophets,  until  I  came 
to  the  door  of  Donald  Gleig,  the  head  of  the  Fief  Society, 
to  whom  I  related,  from  beginning  to  end,  the  whole  busi- 
ness of  the  hen-stealing.  'Od  he  was  a  mettle  bodie  of  a 
creature  ;  far  north,  Aberdeen-awa  like,  and  looking  at  two 
sides  of  a  bawbee  ;  but,  to  give  the  de'il  his  due,  in  this  in- 
stance he  behaved  to  me  like  a  gentleman.  Not  .only  did 
Donald  send  through  the  drum  in  the  course  of  half-an-hour, 
offering  a  reward  for  the  apprehension  of  the  offenders  of 
three  guineas,  names  concealed,  but  he  got  a  warrant  granted 
to  Francie  Deep,  the  sherry  officer,  to  make  search  in  the 
houses  of  several  suspicious  persons. 


ADVENTURES   IN   THE   SPORTING   LINE.  175 

The  reward  offered  by  tuck  of  drum  failed,  nobody  making 
application  to  the  crier  ;  but  the  search  succeeded,  as,  after 
turning  every  thing  topsy-turvy,  the  feathers  were  found  in  a 
bag,  in  the  house  of  an  auld  woman  of  vile  character,  who 
contrived  to  make  out  a  way  of  living,  by  hiring  beds  at 
twopence  a-night  to  Eirish  travellers — South- country  pack- 
men, sturdy  beggars,  men,  and  women,  and  weans  of  them 
— Yetholm  tinklers — wooden-legged  sailors,  without  Chel- 
sea pensions — dumb  spaewomen — keepers  of  wild-beast 
shows — dancing-dog  folk— spunk-makers,  and  such  like 
pick-pockets.  The  thing  was  as  plain  as  the  loof  of  my 
hand, — for,  besides  great  suspicion,  what  was  more,  was  the 
finding  the  head  of  the  muffed  hen,  to  which  I  could  have 
sworn,  lying  in  a  bye  corner  ;  the  body  itself,  not  being  so 
kenspecle  in  its  disjasket  state,  as  it  hung  twirling  in  a  string 
by  its  legs  before  the  fire,  all  buttered  over  with  swine's  seam, 
and  half  roasted. 

After  some  little  ado,  and  having  called  in  two  men  that 
were  passing  to  help  us  take  them  prisoners,  in  case  of  their 
being  refractory,' we  carried  them  by  the  lug  and  the  horn 
before  a  justice  of  peace. 

Except  the  fact  of  the  stown  goods  being  found  in  their 
possession,  it  so  chanced,  ye  observe,  that  we  had  no  other 
sort  of  evidence  whatsoever  ;  but  we  took  care  to  examine 
them  one  at  a  time,  the  tane  no  hearing  what  the  tither  said  ; 
so,  by  dint  of  cross-questioning  by  one  who  well  kenned  how 
to  bring  fire  out  of  flint,  we  soon  made  the  guilty  convict 
themselves,  and  brought  the  transaction  home  to  two  wauf- 
looking  fellows  that  we  had  got  smoking  in  a  corner.  From 
the  speerings  that  were  put  to  them  during  their  examina- 
tion, it  was  found  that  they  tried  to  make  a  way  of  doing  by 
swindling  folks  at  fairs  by  the  game  of  the  garter.  Indeed, 
it  was  stupid  of  me  not  to  recognise  their  faces  at  first  sight, 
having  observed  both  of  them  loitering  about  our  back 
bounds  the  afternoon  before  ;  and  one  of  them,  the  tall  one 
with  the  red  head  and  fustian  jacket,  having  been  in  my 
shop  in  the  fore  part  of  the  night,  about  the  gloaming  like, 
asking  me  as  a  favour  for  a  yard  or  two  of  spare  runds,  or 
selvages. 

I've  aye  heard  that  seeing  's  believing  ;  and  that  youth 
might  take  a  warning  from  the  punishment  that  sooner  or 
later  is  aye  tacked  to  the  tail  of  crime,  I  took  Benjie  and 
Mungo  to  hear  the  trial ;  and  two  more  rueful  faces  than 


176  LIFE  OF  MANSIE  WAU£H. 

they  put  on,  when  they  looked  at  the  .culprits,  were  never 
seen  since  Adam  was  a  boy.  It  was  far  different  with  the 
two  Eirishers,  who  showed  themselves  so  hardened  by  a  long 
course  of  sin  and  misery,  that,  instead  of  abasing  themselves 
in  the  face  of  a  magistrate,  they  scarcely  almost  gave  a  civil 
answer  to  a  single  question  which  was  speered  at  them.  How- 
soever, they  paid  for  that  at  a  heavy  ransom,  as  ye  shall  hear 
by-and-by. 

Having  been  kept  all  night  in  the  cold  tolbooth  on  bread 
and  water,  without  either  coal  or  candle  to  warm  their 
toes,  or  let  them  see  what  they  were  doing,  they  were  harled 
out  amid  an  immense  crowd  of  young  and  old,  more  espe- 
cially wives  and  weans,  at  eleven  o'clock  on  the  next  fore- 
noon to  the  endurance  of  a  punishment  which  ought  to  have 
afflicted  them  almost  as  muckle  as  that  of  death  itself. 

When  the  key  of  the  jail  door  was  thrawn,  and  the  two 
loons  brought  out,  there  was  a  bumming  of  wonder,  and 
maybe  sorrow,  among  the  terrible  crowd,  to  see  fellow-crea- 
tures so  left  alone  to  themselves,  as  to  have  robbed  an  honest 
man's  hen-house  at  the  dead  hour  of  night,  when  a  fire  was 
bleezing  next  door,  and  the  howl  of  desolation  soughing 
over  the  town  like  a  visible  judgment.  One  of  them,  as  I 
said  before,  had  a  red  povv  and  a  foraging  cap,  with  a  black 
napkin  ropined  round  his  weasand,  a  jean  jacket  with  four 
pouches,  and  square  tails ;  a  velveteen  waistcoat  with  plaited 
buttons  ;  corduroy  breeches,  buttoned  at  the  knees  ;  rig-and- 
fur  stockings ;  and  heavy,  clanking  wooden  clogs.  The 
other,  who  was  little  and  round-shouldered,  with  a  bull  neck, 
and  bushy  black  whiskers,  just  like  a  shoe  brush,  stuck  to 
each  cheek  of  his  head,  had  on  a  low-crowned,  plated  beaver 
hat,  with  the  end  of  a  peacock's  feather  stuck  in  the  band  ; 
a  lang-tailed  auld  black  coat,  as  brown  as  a  berry,  and  as 
bare  as  my  loof,  to  say  nothing  of  being  out  at  both  elbows. 
His  trowsers,  I  dare  say,  had  once  been  nankeen  ;  but  as 
they  did  not  appear  to  have  seen  the  washing-tub  for  a  sear 
son  or  two,  it  would  be  rash  to  give  any  decided  opinion  on 
that  head.     In  short,  they  were  two  awful  like  raggamuffins. 

Women,  however,  are  aye  sympathizing  and  merciful ; 
so,  as  I  was  standing  among  the  crowd,  as  they  came  down 
the  tolbooth  stair,  chained  together  by  the  curTs^  of  the  coat, 
one  said,  "  Wae's  me !  what  a  weel-faur'd  fellow,  wi'  the 
red  head,  to  be  found  guilty  of  stealing  folk's  hen-houses  I" 
r^-And  another  one  said,  u  Hech,  sirs!  what  a  bonny  black- 


ADVENTURES   IN   THE   SPORTING   LINE,  17? 

a-viced  man  that  little  ane  is,  to  be  paraded  through  the 
streets  for  a  warld's  wonder  !"  But  I  said  nothing,  kenning 
the  thing  was  just,  and  a  wholesome  example,  holding  Benjie 
-on  my  shoulder  to  see  the  poukit  hens  tied  about  their  necks 
like  keeking  glasses.  But,  puh  !  the  fellows  did  not  give  ae 
pinch  of  snuff;  so  off  they  set,  and  in  this  manner  were 
drummed  through  the  bounds  of  the  parish,  a  constable 
walking  at  each  side  of  them,  with  Lochaber  axes,  and  the 
town-drummer  row-de-dowing  the  thief's  march  at  their 
backs.     It  was  a  humbling  sight. 

My  heart  was  wae,  notwithstanding  the  ills  they  had  done 
me  and  mine,  by  the  nefarious  pillaging  of  our  hen-house, 
to  see  two  human  creatures  of  the  same  flesh  and  blood  as 
myself,  undergoing  the  righteous  sentence  of  the  law,  in  a 
manner  so  degrading  to  themselves,  and  so  pitiful  to  all  that 
beheld  them.  But,  nevertheless,  considering  what  they  had 
done,  they  neither  deserved,  nor  did  they  seem  to  care  for 
commiseration,  holding  up  their  brazen  faces  as  if  they  had 
been  taking  a  pleasure  walk  for  the  benefit  of  their  health, 
and  the  poukit  hens,  that  dangled  before  them,  ornaments  of 
their  bravery.  The  whole  crowd,  young  and  old,  followed 
them  from  ae  end  of  the  town  to  the  tither,  liking  to  ding 
one  another  over,  so  anxious  were  they  to  get  a  sight  of 
what  was  going  on  ;  but  when  they  came  to  the  gate-end 
they  stopped  and  gave  the  ne'er-do-weels  three  cheers. 
What  think  you  did  the  ne'er-do  weels  do  in  return  ?  Fie 
shame !  they  took  off  their  old  scrapers  and  gave  a  huzza 
too,  clapping  their  hands  behind  them  in  a  manner  as  de* 
plorable  to  relate  as  it  was  shocking  to  behold. 

Their  chains,  the  things  ye  ken  that  held  their  cuffs  to- 
gether, were  by  this  time  taken  off,  along  with  the  poukit 
hens,  which  I  fancy  the  town-oflishers  took  home  and  cooked 
for  their  dinner ;  so  they  shook  hands  with  the  drummer, 
wishing  him  a  good  day,  and  a  pleasant  walk  home,  brushing 
away  on  the  road  to  Edinburgh,  where  their  wives  and 
weans,  who  had  no  doubt  made  a  good  supper  on  the  spuilzie 
of  the  hens,  had  gone  away  before,  maybe  to  have  something 
comfortable  for  their  arrival,  their  walk  being  likely  to  give 
them  an  appetite. 

Had  they  taken  away  all  the  rest  of  the  hens,  and  only  left 
the  bantams,  on  which  they  must  have  found  but  desperate 
little  eating,  and  the  muffed  one,  I  would  have  cared  less  ;  it 
being  from  several  circumstances  a  pet  one  in  the  family, 


178  LIFE   OF    MANSIE  WATTCH. 

having  been  brought  in  a  blackbird's  cage  by  the  carrier  from 
Lauder,  from  my  wife's  mother,  in  a  present  to  Benjie  on  his 
birth-day.  The  creature  almost  prat  himself  blind,  when  he 
heard  of  our  having  seen  it  roasting  in  a  string  by  the  legs 
before  the  fire,  and  found  its  bonny  muffed  head  in  a 
corner. 

But  let  abee  likings,  the  callant  was  otherwise  a  loser  in 
its  death,  she  having  regularly  laid  a  calker  egg  to  him  every 
morning,  which  he  got  along  with  his  tea  and  bread,  to  the 
no  small  benefit  of  his  health,  being,  as  1  have  taken  occasion 
to  remark  before,  far  from  being  robusteous  in  the  constitu- 
tion. I  am  sure  I  ken  one  thing,  that  I  would  have  will- 
ingly given  the  louns  a  crown  piece  to  have  preserved  it 
alive,  hen  though  it  was  of  my  own  ;  but  no,  the  bloody 
deed  was  over  and  done,  before  we  were  aware  that  the 
poor  thing's  life  was  sacrificed. 

The  names  of  the  two  Eirishers  were  John  Dochart,  and 
Dennis  Flint,  both,  according  to  their  own  deponent,  from 
the  county  of  Tipperary  ;  and  weei-a-wat  the  place  has  no 
great  credit  in  producing  two  such  bairns.  Often,  after 
that,  did  I  look  through  that  part  of  ttiR  Adverteezer  news- 
papers, that  has  a  list  of  all  the  accidents,  and  so  on,  just 
above  the  births,  marriages,  and  deaths,  which  I  liked  to 
read  regularly.  Howsoever,  it  was  two  year  before  I  dis- 
covered their  names  again,  having,  it  seems,  during  a  great 
part  of  that  period,  lived  under  the  forged  name  of  Alias  ; 
and  I  saw  that  they  were  both  shipped  off  at  Leith,  for 
transportation  to  some  country  called  the  Hulks,  for  being 
habit  and  repute  thieves,  and  for  having  made  a  practice  of 
coining  bad  silver.  The  things  however,  that  condemned 
them,  was  for  having  knocked  down  a  drunk  man  in  a  beastly 
state  of  intoxication,  on  the  King's  highway  in  broad  day- 
light ;  and  having  robbed  him  of  his  bat,  wig,  and  neckcloth, 
an  upper  and  under  vest,  a  coat  and  great-coat,  a  pair  of 
Hessian  boots,  which  he  had  on  his  legs,  a  silver  watch, 
with  four  brass  seals  and  a  key,  besides  a  snuff-box  made  of 
box-wood,  with  an  invisible  hinge,  one  of  the  Lawrence- 
kirk  breed,  a  pair  of  specs,  some  odd  ha'pennies,  and  a 
,    Camperdown  pocket-napkin. 

But  of  all  months  of  the  year — or  maybe  indeed  of  my 
blessed  lifetime,  this  one  was  the  most  adventurous.  It 
seemed,  indeed,  as  if  some  especial  curse  of  Providence 
hung  ower  the  canny  town  of  Dalkeith,  and  that,  like  the 


.     ADVENTURES   IN   THE   SPORTING   LINE.  179 

great  cities  of  the  plain,  we  were  at  long  and  last  to  be 
burnt  up  from  the  face  of  the  earth  with  a  shower  of  fire 
and  brimstone. 

Just  three  days  after  the  drumming  of  the  two  Eirish 
ne'er-do-weels,  a  deaf  and  dumb  woman  came  in  prophesy- 
ing at  our  back  door,  offering  to  spae  fortunes.  She  was 
tall  and  thin,  an  unco  witch-looking  creature,  with  a  runkled 
brow,  sun-burnt  haffits,  and  two  sharp-looking  een,  like  a 
hawk's,  whose  glan.ce  went  through  ye  like  the  cut  and 
thrust  of  a  two-edged  sword.  (  'n  her  head  she  had  a  tawdry 
brownish  black  bonnet,  that  had  not  improved  from  two 
three  years  tholing  of  sun  and  wind  ;  a  thin  rag  of  a  gray 
duffle  mantle  was  thrown  over  her  shoulders,  below  which 
was  a  checked  shortgown  of  gingham  stripe,  and  a  green 
glazed  manco  petticoat.  Her  shoon  were  terrible  bauchles, 
and  her  gray  worsted  stockings,  to  hide  the  holes  in  them, 
were  all  dragooned  down  about  her  heels.  On  the  whole, 
she  was  rather,  I  must  confess,  an  out-of-the-way  creature  ; 
and  though  I  had  not  muckle  faith  in  these  bodies  that  pretend 
to  see  farther  through  a  millstone  than  their  nei'bours,  I 
somehow  or  other,  taking  pity  on  her  miserable  condition, 
being  still  a  fellow  creature,  though  plain  in  the  lugs,  that  1 
had  not  the  heart  to  huff  her  out ;  mair  by  token,  as  Nanse, 
Benjie,  and  the  new  'prentice  Mungo,  had  by  this  time  got 
round  me,  all  dying  to  ken  what  grand  fortunes  waited  them 
in  the  years  of  their  after  pilgrimage.  Sinful  creatures  that 
we  are !  not  content  with  the  insight  into  its  ways  that 
Providence  affords  us,  but  diving  beyond  our  deeps,  only  to 
flounder  into  the  whirlpools  of  error.  Is  it  not  clear,  that 
had  it  been  for  our  good,  all  things  would  have  been  revealed 
to  us ;  and  is  it  not  clear,  that  not  a  wink  of  sound  sleep 
would  we  ever  have  got,  had  all  the  ills  that  have  crossed  our 
paths  been  ranged  up  before  our  een,  like  great  black  towring 
mountains  of  darkness  ?  How  could  we  have  found  con- 
tentment in  our  goods  and  gear,  if  we  saw  them  melting 
from  us  next  year,  like  snaw  from  a  dyke  ;  how  could  we 
sit  down  on  the  elbow-chair  of  ease,  could  we  see  the  mis- 
fortunes that  may  make  next  week  a  black  one ;  or  how 
^otild  we  look  a  ki?t$  friend  in  the  face,  without  tears,  c(fe!d 
we  see  him,  ere  a  month  mayoe  v7**  gone:  tying  StfQ&eu 
beneath  his  winding-sheet,  his  eyes  steikedfdret57rjore,a^^ 
his  mirth  hushed  to  an  awful  silence!  No,  no,  let  us'rek 
content  that  Heaven  kens  what  is  best  for  us  :  let  us  do  our 


180  LIFE   OP   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

duty  as  men  and  Christians,  and  every  thing,  both  here  and 
hereafter,  will  work  together  for  our  good. 

Having  taken  a  piece  of  chalk  out  of  her  big,  greasy, 
leather  pouch,  she  wrote  down  on  the  table,  u  Your  wife, 
your  son,  and  your  'prentice."  This  was  rather  curious, 
and  every  one  of  them,  a  wee  thunderstruck  like,  cried  out 
as  they  held  up  their  hands.  wfc  Losh  me !  did  onybody  ever 
see  or  hear  tell  of  the  like  o'  that  ?  She's  no  canny  !" — It 
was  gey  droll  I  thought;  and  J  was  aware  from  the  Witch 
of  Endor,  and  sundry  mentions  in  the  Old  Testament,  that 
things  out  of  the  course  of  nature,  have  more  than  once  been 
permitted  to  happen  ;  so  1  reckoned  it  but  right,  to  give  the 
poor  woman  a  fair  hearing,  as  she  deserved. 

"  Oh  I"  said  Nanse  to  me,  "  ye  ken  our  Benjie's  eight 
year  auld  ;  see  if  she  kens  ;  ask  her  how  auld  he  is  ?" 

I  had  scarcely  written  down  the  question,  when  she  wrote 
beneath  it,  "  The  bonny  laddie,  your  only  son,  is  eight  year 
old  :   He'll  be  an  Admiral  yet." 

"An  Admiral, "  said  his  mother,  "that's  gey  and  extra- 
ordinar.  I  never  kenned  he  had  ony  inkling  for  the  seafaring 
line  ;  and  I  thought,  Mansie,  you  intended  bringing  him  up 
to  your  ain  trade.  Bui,  howsoever,  ye're  wrang  ye  see.  I 
telFt  ye  he  wad  either  make  a  spoon  or  spoil  a  horn.  I 
tell't  ye  ower  and  ower  again,  that  he  wad  be  either  some- 
thing or  naething  ;  what  think  ye  o'  that  noo  ? — See  if  she 
kens  that  Mungo  comes  from  the  country  ;  and  where  the 
Lammermuir  hills  is?" 

When  I  had  put  down  the  question,  in  a  jiffie  she  wrote 
down  beside  it.  "  That  boy  comes  from  the  high  hills,  and 
his  name  is  Mungo." 

Dog  on  it !  this  astonished  us  more  and  more,  and  fairly 
bamboozled  my  understanding  ;  as  1  thought  there  surely 
must  be  some  league  and  paction  with  the  Old  One  ;  but 
the  farther  in  the  deeper.  She  then  pointed  to  my  wife* 
writing  down,  "Your  name  is  Nancy," — and  turning  to  me, 
as  she  made  some  dumbie  signs,  she  caulked  down,  "  Your 
name  is  Mansie  Wauch,  that  saved  the  precious  life  of  an 
auld,  bedridden  woman  from  the  fire  :  and  will  soon  gei  & 
lottery  ticket  of  twenty  thousand  pounds." 

Kenning  the  truth  of  the  rest  of  what  she  had  said,  I  could 
HOt  hfcip  juuipiiig  en  the  floor  with  joy,  and  seeing  that  she 
was  up  to  everything,  as  plain  as  if  it  had  happened  m  her 
presence.     The  good  news  set  us  all  a  louping  with  general 


ADVENTURES    IN    THE    SPORTING    LINE.  181 

joy,  my  wife  and  the  laddies  clapping  their  hands,  as  if  they 
had  found  a  lid  lie  ;  so,  jalousing  they  might  lose  their  dis- 
cretion in  their  mirth,  I  turned  round  to  the  three,  holding  up 
my  hand,  and  saying,  u  in  the  name  o'  Gudeness,  dinna 
mention  this  to  ony  leeving  sowl ;  as,  rnind  ye,  1  havena 
taken  out  the  ticket  yet.  The  doing  so  might  not  only  set 
them  to  the  sinful  envying  of  our  good  fortune,  as  forbidden 
in  the  tenth  commandment,  but  might  lead  away  oursell,  to 
be  gutting  our  fish  before  we  get  them." 

"  Mind  then,"  said  Manse,  "  about  your  promise  to  me, 
concerning  the  silk  gown,  and  the  pair " 

14  Wheesht,  wheesnt,  gudewife,"  answered  I.  "There  's 
a  Draw  time  coming.  We  must  not  be  in  ower  great  a 
hurry  " 

I  (hen  bade  the  woman  sit  down  by  the  ingle  cheek,  and 
our  wife  to  give  her  a  piece  of  cold  beef,  and  a  shave  of 
bre  J,  besides  twopence  out  of  my  own  pocket.  Some,  on 
bearing  siccan  sooms  mentioned,  would  have  immediately 
Btrucken  work,  but,  even  in  the  height  of  my  grand  expecta- 
tions, I  did  not  forget  the  old  saying,  that  u  a  bird  in  the 
h  i ad  is  worth  twa  in  the  bush  ;"  and  being  thrang  with  a 
piir  of  leggins  for  Eben  Bowsie,  I  brushed  away  ben  to  the 
workshop,  thinking  the  woman,  or  witch,  or  whatever  she 
was,  would  have  more  freedom  and  pleasure  in  eating  by 
herself. — That  she  had,  I  am  now  bound  to  say  by  ex- 
perience. 

Two  days  after,  when  we  were  sitting  at  our  comfortable 
four-hours,  in  came  little  rienjie,  running  out  of  breath — 
just  at  the  'dividual  moment  of  time  my  wife  and  me  were, 
jeering  one  another,  about  how  we  would  behave  when  we 
came  to  be  grand  leddies  and  gentlemen,  keeping  a  flunkie 
maybe — to  tell  us,  that  when  he  was  playing  at  the  bools,  on 
the  plainstanes  before  the  auld  kirk,  he  had  seen  the  deaf 
and  dumb  spaewife  harled  away  to  the  tolbooth,  for  stealing 
a  pair  of  trowsers,  that  were  hanging  drying  on  a  tow,  in 
Juden  Elshinder's  back  closs.  1  could  scarcely  credit  the 
callant,  though  I  kenned  he  would  not  tell  a  lee  for  sixpence. 
and  I  said  to  him,  u  Now  be  sure,  Benjie,  before  ye  speak. 
The  tongue  is  a  dangerous  weapon,  and  apt  to  bring  folk  into 
trouble — it  might  be  another  woman." 

It  was  real  cleveraiity   in  the  callant.     He  said,  w  Ay, 
father,  but  it  was  her ;  and  she  contrived  to  bring  herself 
into  trouble,  without  a  tongue  at  aVV 
16 


182  LIFE   OF   MANSIE   WAT7CH. 

I  could  not  help  laughing  at  this,  it  showed  Benjie  to  be 
siccan  a  genius  ;  so  he  said, 

"  Ye  needna  laugh,  faither ;  for  it 's  as  true  's  death,  it  was 
her.     Do  ye  think    I   didna  ken  in  a  minute  our  cheese-  ; 
toaster,  that  used  to  hing  beside  the  kitchen  fire  ;  and  that 
the  sherry  offisher  took  out  frae  beneath  her  grey  cloak  ?*• 

The  smile  gaed  off  Nanse's  cheek  like  lightning,  and  she 
said  it  could  not  be  true  ;  but  she  would  go  to  the  kitchen 
to  see.  Pfegs  it  was  ower  true  ;  for  she  never  came  back 
to  tell  the  contrary. 

This  was  really  and  truly  a  terrible  business,  but  the  truth 
for  all  that,  the  cheese-toaster  casting  up  not  an  hour  after, 
in  the  hands  of  Daniel  Search,  to  whom  1  gave  a  dram. 
The  loss  of  the  tin  cheese-toaster  would  have  been  a  trifle, 
especially  as  it  was  broken  in  the  handle, — but  this  was  an 
awful  blow  to  the  truth  of  the  fiel  dumbie's  grand  prophecy. 
Nevertheless,  it  seemed  at  the  time  gey  puzzling  to  me,  to 
think  how  a  deaf  and  dumb  woman,  unless  she  had  some 
wonderful  gift,  could  have  told  us  what  she  did. 

On  the  next  day,  the  Friday  I  think,  that  story  was  also 
made  as  clear  as  daylight  to  us  ;  for,  being  banished  out  of 
the  town  as  a  common  thief  and  vagabond  down  on  the 
Musselburgh  road,  by  order  of  n  justice  of  the  peace,  it  was 
the  bounden  duty  of  Daniel  Search  and  Geordie  Sharp,  to 
see  her  safe  past  the  kennel,  the  length  of  Smeaton.  They 
then  tried  to  make  her  understand  by  writing  on  the 
wall,  that  if  ever  again  she  was  seen  or  heard  tell  of  in  the 
town,  she  would  be  banished  to  Botany  Bay  ;  but  she  had 
a  great  fecht,  it  seems,  to  make  out  Daniel's  bad  spellin\ 
he  having  been  very  ill  yedicated,  and  no  deacon  at  the 
pen. 

Howsoever,  they  got  her  to  understand  their  meaning  by 
giving  her  a  shove  forward  by  the  shoulders,  and  aye  point 
ing  down  to  Inveresk.  Thinking  she  did  not  hear  them, 
they  then  took  upon  themselves  the  liberty  of  calling  her 
some  ill  names,  and  bid  her  good  day  as  a  bad  one  ;  but 
she  was  upsides  with  them  for  acting,  in  that  respect,  above 
their  commission ;  for  she  wheeled  round  again  to  them  ; 
and,  snapping  her  fingers  at  their  noses,  gave  a  curse,  and 
bade  them  go  home  for  a  couple  of  dirty  Scotch  vermin. 

The  two  men  were  perfectly  dumbfoundered  at  hearing 
the  tongue-tied  wife  speaking  as  well  as  themselves  ;  and 
could  not  help  stopping  to  look  after  her  for  a  long  way  on  J 


ANENT    MUNGO   GLEN.  183 

the  road,  as  every  now  and  then  she  stuck  one  of  her  arms 
in  her  side,  and  gave  a  dance  round  in  a  whirling-jig  way. 
louping  like  daft,  and  lilting  like  a  gray  lintie,  From  her 
way  of  speaking,  they  also  saw  immediately  that  she  too 
was  an  Eirisher. — They  must  be  a  bonny  family  when  they 
are  all  at  home. 


CHAPTER  XXf. 

ANENT     MUNGO     GLEN. 

li  Earth  to  earth,"  and  ««  dust  to  dust/' 

The  solemn  priest  hath  said, 
So  we  lay  the  turf  above  the**,  now, 

And  we  seal  iby  nairow  bed  : 
But  thy  spirit,  brother,  soars  away 

Among  the  faithful,  blest, 
Where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling, 

And  the  weary  are  at  rest. 

MlLMAN. 

Pekhaps,  since  I  was  born,  1  do  not  remember  such  a 
string  of  casualties*  as  happened  te  me  and  mine,  all  within 
the  period  of  one  short  fortnight.  To  say  nothing  con- 
nected with  the  play-acting  business,  which  was  immediately 
before, — first  came  Mungo  Glen's  misfortune  with  regard 
to  the  bloodsoiling  of  the  new  nankeen  trowsers,  the  fore- 
most of  his  transactions,  and  a  bad  omem — next,  the  fire, 
and  all  its  wonderfuls,  the  saving  of  the  old  bedridden 
woman's  piecious  life,  and  the  destruction  of  the  poor  cat, 
— syne  the  robbery  of  the.  henr-house  by  The  Eirish  ne'er-do- 
weels,  who  payed  so  sweetly  for  their  pranks, — and  lastly, 
the  hoax,  the  thieving  of  the  cheese-toaster  without  a  handle, 
and  the  banishment  of  the  spaewife. 

These  were  awful  signs  of  the  times,  and  seemed  to  say 
that  the  world  was  fast  coming  to  a  finis ;  the  ends  of  the 
earth  appearing  to  have  combined  in  a  great  Popish  plot  of 
villany.  Every  man  that  had  a  heart  to  feel,  must  have 
trembled  amid  these  threatening,  judgment-like,  snd  calami- 
tous events.  As  for  my  own  part,  the  depravity  of  the 
nations,  which  most  of  these  scenes  showed  me,  I  must  say 
fell  heavily  over  my  spirit ;  and  I  could  not  help  thinking  of 


184  LIFE   OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

the  old  cities  of  the  plain,  over  the  house-tops  of  which,  for 
their  heinous  sins  and  iniquitous  abominations,  the  wrath  of 
the  Almighty  showered  down  fire  and  brimstone  from  heaven, 
till  the* very  earth  melted  and  swallowed  them  up  for  ever 
and  ever. 

These  added  to  the  number  to  be  sure  ;  but  not  that  I 
had  never  before  seen  signs  and  wondeis  in  my  time.  I 
had  seen  the  friends  of  the  peoole, — and  the  scarce  years, 
■ — and  the  bloody  gulleteening  overbye  among  the  French 
blackguards, — and  the  business  of  Watt  and  Downie  nearer 
home,  at  our  own  doors  almost,  HtEdhbu  gh  like, — and  the 
calling  out  of  the  volunteers, — and  divers  sea-fights  at  Cam- 
perdown  and  elsewhere, — and  land  battle  countless, — and 
the  American  war,  parto't, — and  aw  fa]  murders, — and  mock- 
fights  in  the  Duke's  Parks, — and  highwa)  rol  >eries, — and 
breakings  of  all  the  Ten  Commandments,  from  the  first  to 
the  last ;  so  that,  allowing  me  to  have  but  a  common  spunk 
of  reflection,  I  must,  like  others,  have  cast  a  wistful  eye  on  the 
on-goings  of  men  ;  and,  if  1  had  not  strength  to  pour  out  my 
inward  lamentations,  I  could  not  help  thinking,  with  fear 
and  trembling,  at  the  rebellion  of  siccan  a  worm  against  a 
rower  whu5£  Smallest  word  could  extinguish  its  existence, 
and  blot  it  out  in  a  twinkling  from  the  roll  of  living  things. 

But,  if  I  was  much  affected,  the  callant  JMungo  was  a 
great  deal  more.  From  the  days  in  winch  he  1  ad  lain  in 
his  cradle,  he  had  been  brought  up  in  a  remote  and  quiet 
part  of  the  country,  far  from  the  bustling  of  towns,  and  from 
man  encountering  man  in  the  stramash  of  daily  life  :  so 
that  his  heart  stemed  to  pine  within  him  like  a  flower,  tor 
want  of  the  blessed  morning  dew  ;  and,  like  a  bird  that  has 
been  catched  in  a  girn  among  the  winter  snows,  his  appe- 
tite failed  him,  and  he  fell  away  from  his  meat  and  ciaes. 

I  was  vexed  exceedingly  to  see  the  callant  in  thisdilemmy, 
for  he  was  growing  very  tall  and  thin,  his  craft-blades  being 
lank  and  white,  and  his  een  of  a  hollow  drumliness,  as  if  he 
got  no  refreshment  from  the  slumbers  of  the  iiight.  Behold- 
ing all  this  work  of  destruction  going  on  in  silence,  1  spoke 
to  his  friend  Mrs.  Grassie  about  him.  and  she  was  so  mo- 
therly as  to  offer  to  have  a  glass  of  port  wine,  stirred  with 
best  Jesuit's  barks,  ready  for  him  ever}  forenoon  at  twelve 
o'clock  ;  for  really  nobody  ecu  Id  be  but  interested  in  the 
laddie,  he  was  so  gentle  and  modest,  making  never  a  word 
of  complaint,  though  melting  like  snow  off  a  dyke  \  and. 


ANENT  MUNGO  GLEN.  185 

though  lie  must  have  suffered  both  in  body  and  mind,  endur- 
ing all  with  a  silent  composure,  worthy  of  a  holy  martyr. 

Perceiving  things  going  on  from  bad  to  worse,  I  thought 
it  was  best  to  break  the  matter  to  him,  as  he  was  never  like 
to  speak  himself;  and  I  asked  him  in  a  friendly  way,  as  we 
were  sitting  together  on  the  board,  finishing  a  pair  of  fustian 
overalls  for  Maister  Bob  Bustle — a  riding  clerk  for  one  of  **'' 
the  Edinburgh  spirit  shops,  but  who  liked  aye  to  have  his' 
claes  of  the  Dalkeith  cut,  having  been  born,  bred,  and'edu- 
cated  in  our  town,  like  his  forebears  before  him,  if  there  was 
anything  the  matter  with  him,  that  he  was  aye  so  dowie  and 
heartless  ?  Never  shall  I  forget  the  look  he  gave  me,  as  he 
lifted  up  his  een,  in  which  I  could  see  visible  distress  painted 
as  plain  as  the  figures  of  the  saints,  on  auld  kirk  windows  ; 
but  he  told  me,  with  a  faint  smile,  that  he  had  nothing  par- 
ticular to  complain  of,  only  that  he  would  have  liked  to  have 
died  among  his  friends,  as  he  could  not  live  from  home,  and 
away  from  the  life  he  had  been  accustomed  to  all  his  days* 

'Od,  I  was  touched  to  the  quick  ;  and  when  I  heard  him 
speaking  of  death  in  such  a  cairn,  quiet  way,  I  found  some- 
thing, as  if  his  words  were  words  of  prophecy,  and  as  if  I  had 
seen  a  sign  that  told  me  he  was  not  to  be  long  for  this  world. 
Howsoever,  I  hope  1  had  more  sense  than  to  let  this  be 
seen,  so  I  said  till  him,  "Ou,  if  that  be  a'  IV]  ungo,  ye'll  soon 
come  to  like  us  a'  weel  eneuch.  Ye  should  take  a  stout 
heart,  man  ;  and  when  your  'prenticeship's  dune,  ye '11  gang 
hame  and  set  up  for  a  great  man,  making  coats  for  a'  the 
lords  and  lairds  in  broad  Lammermuir." 

u  Na,  na,"  answered  the  callant,  with  a  trembling  voice, 
which  mostly  made  my  heart  swell  to  my  mouth,  and  brought 
the  tear  to  my  eye,  "  1'  11  never  see  the  end  o'  my  'prentice- 
ship,  nor  Lammermuir  again." 

"  Hout  touts,  man,1' quo'  I,  "  never  speak  in  that  sort 
o'  way  ;  it 's  distrustfu'  and  hurtful.  Live  in  hope,  though 
we  should  die  in  despair.  When  ye  gang  hame  again,  ye'll 
be  as  happy  as  ever." 

u  Eh,  na  ;  never,  even  though  I  was  to  gang  home  the 
morn.  I'  11  never  be  as  I  was  before.  I  lived  and  lived  on, 
never  thinking  that  such  days  were  to  come  to  an  end ;  but 
now  I  find  it  can,  and  must  be  otherwise.  The  thoughts  of 
my  heart  have  been  broken  in  upon,  and  naething  can  make 
haiil  what  has  been  shivered  to  pieces." 

This  was  to  the  point,  as  Dannie  Thummel  said  to  his 
16* 


H86  LIFE   OF  MANSIE  WAUCK. 

needle  ;  so  just  for  speaking's  sake,  and  to  rouse  him  np  a  bit r 
1  said,  u  Keh,  man,  what  need  ye  care  sae  muekle  about  the 
country  ? — it  Minever  be  like  our  bonny  streets,  wi'  a'  the 
braw  shop  windows,  and  the  auld  kirk  ;  and  the  stands  wi' 
the  horn  spoons  and  luggies  ;  and  a'  the  carts  on  ti*e  market 
days  ;  and  the  Duke's  gate,  and  so  on." 

"  Ay,  but,  maister,"  answered  Mungo,  u  ye  was  never 
brought  up  in  the  country  ;  ye  never  kent  what  it  was  to 
wander  about  in  the  summer  glens,  wi'  naething  bm  the 
warm  sun  looking  down  on  ye,  the  blue  waters  streaming 
ower  the  braes,  the  birds  singing,  and  the  air  like  to  grow 
sick  wi'  the  breath  of  blooming  birks,  and  flowcs  of  all 
colours,  and  wild  thyme  sticking  fu*  o'  bees,  humming  in  joy 
and  thankfulness.  Ye  never  kent,  maister,  what  it  was  to 
wake  in  the  still  morning,  when,  looking  out,  ye  saw  the 
snaws  lying  for  miles  round  about  ye  on  the  hiLs,  breast 
deep,  shutting  ye  out  frae.  the  world,  as  it  were  ;  the  foot  of 
man  never  coming  during  the  storm  to  your  door,  nor  the 
voice  of  a  stranger  heard  frae  ae  month's  end  till  the  ilher. 
See,  it  is  coming  on  o'  hail  the  now,  and  my  mother  with  my 
sister  (I  have  but  ane)  and  my  four  brithers,  will  be  looking 
out  into  the  drift,  and  missing  me  away  for  the  first  imu 
frae  the  fireside.  They  Ml  hae  a  dreary  winter  o't,  breaking 
their  hearts  for  mc — their  ballants  and  their  stories  will 
never  be  sae  funny  again — and  my  heart  is  breaking  for 
them." 

With  this,  the  tears  prap-prapped  down  his  cheeks,  but 
his  pride  bade  him  turn  his  head  round  to  hide  them  from 
me.     A  heart  of  stone  would  have  felt  for  him. 

I  saw  it  was  in  vain  to  persist  long,  as  the  laddie  was  fall- 
ing out  of  his  claes,  as  fast  as  leaves  from  the  November 
tree  ;  so  I  wrote  home  by  limping  Jamie  the  carrier,  telling 
his  father  the  state  of  things,  and  advising  him,  as  a  matter 
of  humanity,  to  take  his  son  out  to  the  free  air  of  the  hills 
again,  as  the  town  smoke  did  not  seem  to  agree  with  his  sto- 
mach ;  and,  as  he  might  be  making  a  sticked  tailor  of  one 
who  was  capable  of  being  bred  a  good  farmer  ;  no  mortal 
being  likely  to  make  a  great  progress  in  any  thing,  unless 
the  heart  goes  with  the  handiwork. 

Some  folks  will  think  I  acted  right,  and  others  wrong  in 
this  matter  ;  if  I  erred,  it  was  on  the  side  of  mercy,  and  my 
conscience  does  not  upbraid  me  for  the  transaction.  In 
due  course  of  time?  I  had  an  answer  from  Maister  Glen, 


AN22NT    JIUNGO    GLEN.  187 

and  we  got  every  thing  ready  and  packed  up,  against  the 
hour  that  Jamie  was  to  set  out  again. 

Mungo  got  himself  all  dressed  ;  and  Benjie  had  taken 
such  a  liking  to  him,  that  I  thought  he  would  have  grutten 
himself  senseless,  when  he  heard  he  was  going  away  back  to 
his  own  home.  One  would  not  have  imagined,  that  such 
a  sincere  friendship  could  have  taken  root  in  such  a  short 
time,  but  the  bit  creature  Benjie  was  as  warm-hearted  a 
callant  as  ye  ever  saw.  Mungo  told  him,  that  if  he  would 
not  cry,  he  would  send  him  a  present  of  a  wee  ewe- milk 
cheese,  whenever  he  got  home;  which  promise  pacified  him, 
and  he  asked  me  if  Benjie  would  come  out  for  a  month,  gin 
simmer,  when  he  would  let  him  see  all  worthy  observation 
along  the  country-side. 

When  we  had  shaken  hands  with  Mungo,  and,  after  fast- 
ening his  comforter  about  his  neck,  wished  him  a  good  jour- 
ney, we  saw  him  mounted  on  the  front  of  limping  Jamie's 
cart  ;  and,  as  he  drove  away,  1  must  confess  my  heart  was 
grit.  I  could  not  help  running  up  the  stair,  and  pulling  up 
the  forewindow  to  get  a  long  look  after  him.  Away,  and 
away  they  wore  ;  in  a  short  time,  the  cart  took  a  turn,  and 
disappeared  ;  and,  when  i  drew  down  the  window,  and 
sauntered  with  my  arms  crossed,  down  to  the  workshop, 
something  seemed  amissing,  and  the  snug  wee  place,  with 
its  shapings  and  runds,  and  paper-rneasurings,  and  its  bit 
fire,  seemed,  in  my  een,  to  look  doufTand  gousty. 

Whether  in  the  jougging  of  the  fart,  or  what  else  T  cannot 
say,  but  it 's  an  unco  story  ;  for,  on  the  road,  it  turned  out, 
that  poor  Mungo  was  seized  with  a  terrible  pain  in  his  side  ; 
and,  growing  worse  and  worse,  was  obliged  to  be  left  at 
Lauder,  in  the  care  of  a  decent  widow  woman,  that  had  a 
blind  eye,  and  a  room  to  let  furnished. 

It  was  not  for  two  or  three  days  that  we  learnt  these 
awful  tidings,  which  greatly  distressed  us  all  ;  and  I  gave 
the  driver  of  the  Lauder  coach  threepence  to  himself,  to 
bring  us  word  every  morning,  as  he  passed  the  door,  how 
the  laddie  was  going  on. 

I  learned  shortly,  that  his  faither  and  mother  had  arrivede 
which  was  ae  comfort;  but  that  matters  with  poor  JNiungo 
were  striding  on  from  bad  to  worse,  being  pronounced  by  a 
skeely  doctor,  to  be  in  a  gallopping  consumption — and  not 
able  to  be  removed  home,  a  thing  that  the  laddie  freaked 
and  pined  for  night  and  day.     At  length,  hearing  for  certain 


188  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

that  he  had  not  long  to  live,  J  thought  myself  bound  to  be 
at  the  expense  of  taking  a  rioe  out  on  the  J*)p  of  the  coach  ; 
thougli  1  was  aware  of  the  t  anger  of  the  machines  whiles 
couping,  if  it  were  lor  no  more  than  to  bid  him  lare-ye-weel 
— and  I  did  so. 

Jtwas  a  cold  cloudy  day  in  February,  and  every  thing  on 
the  road  looked  dowie  and  cheerless;  the  very  cows  and 
sheep,  that  crowded  cowring  beneath  the  trees  in  the  paiks, 
seemed  to  be  grieving  for  some  disaster,  and  hanging  down 
their  heads  like  mourners  at  a  burial.  r\  he  rain  whiles 
obliged  me  to  put  up  my  umbrella,  and  there  was  nobody 
on  the  top  beskie  me,  save  a  deat  woman,  that  aye  said, 
"  ay"  to  every  question  1  speered.  and  with  whom  1  found 
it  out  of  the  poweT  of  man  to  ctirry  on  any  rational  conver- 
sation ;  so  I  was  obliged  to  sit  glow  ring  Irom  side  to  side 
at  the  bleak,  bare  fields — and  the  plashing  grass — and  the 
gloomy  dull  woods — and  the  gentlemen's  houses,  of  which 
1  knew  not  the  names — and  the  fearful  rough  bills,  that  put 
me  in  mind  of  the  wilderness,  and  of  the  abomination  of  de- 
solation mentioned  in  scripture,  1  believe  in  Izekiel.  The 
errand  I  was  going  on,  to  be  sure,  helped  to  make  me  mair 
wae  ;  and  I  could  not  but  tbink  on  human  lite,  without 
agreeing  with  Solomon,  that  u  all  was  vanity  and  vexation 
of  spirit." 

At  long  and  last,  when  we  came  to  our  journey's  end, 
and  1  louped  off  the  top  of  the  coach,  Maister  Glen  came 
ouf  to  the  door,  and  bade  me  haste  me,  if  I  wished  to  see 
Mungo  breathing.  Sauf  us  !  to  think  that  a  poor  young 
thing  was  to  be  taken  away  from  life,  and  the  cheerful  sun, 
thus  suddenly,  and  be  laid  in  the  cold  damp  mools,  among 
the  moudieworts  and  the  green  banes,  kw  where  there  is  no 
work  or  device."  But  what  'II  ye  say  tbere  ?  it  was  the  will 
of  Him,  who  knows  best  what  is  for  his  creatures,  and  to 
whom  we  should — and  must  submit.  I  was  just  in  time  to 
see  the  last  row  of  his  glazing  een,  thajt  then  stood  still  for 
ever,  as  he  lay,  with  his  lace  as  pale  as  clay,  on  the  pillow, 
his  mother  holding  his  hand,  and  sob-sobbing  witb  her  face 
leant  on  the  bed,  as  if  her  hope  w  as  departed,  and  her  heart 
would  break.  I  gaed  round  about,  and  took  hold  of  the 
other  one  for  a  moment ;  but  it  was  clammy,  and  growing 
cold  with  the  coldness  of  grim  death.  1  could  hear  my 
heart  beating  ;  but  Mungo's  heart  stood  still,  like  a  watch 
that  has  run  itself  down.     Maister  Glen  sat  in  the  easv 


AKENT    MUNGO   GLEN.  189 

^Hfa  with  his  hand  before  his  een,  saying  nothing,  and 
shedding  t  te  for  he  was  a  strong,  Uttle,  black-a-viced 
man,  with  a  fee^  y  but  wi|h  nervegj  of  sted      The 

ram  rattled  on  the  window   a ,  ^  a  gwurli  as 

the  wind  rummelled  i  the  limi.  J  henoui  cp^_  4o  tne  gouj 
and  the  silence  was  worth  twenty  sermons. 

They  who  would  wish  to  know  the  real  value  of  what 
we  are  all  over  apt  to  prize  in  this  world,  should  have  been 
there  too,  and  learnt  a  lesson  not  soon  to  be  forgotten.  I 
put  my  hand  in  my  coat  pocket  for  my  napkin,  to  give  my 
een  a  wipe,  but  found  it  was  away,  and  feared  muckle  I  had 
dropped  it  on  the  road  ;  though,  in  this,  J  was  happily 
mistaken,  having,  before  1  went  to  my  bed,  found  that  on 
my  journey  I  had  tied  it  over  my  neckcloath,  to  keep  away 
sore  throats. 

It  was  a  sad  heart  to  us  all,  to  see  the  lifeless  creature  in 
Lis  white  night-cap  and  een  closed,  lying  with  his  yellow 
hair  spread  on  the  pillow  ;  and  we  went  out,  that  the  women- 
folk might,  cover  up  the  looking-glass  and  the  face  ot  the 
clock,  ere  they  proceeded  to  dress  the  body  in  its  last  claes 
— claes  that  would  ne'er  need  changing;  but,  when  we  were 
half  down  the  stair,  and  1  felt  glad  with  the  thoughts  of 
getting  to  the  fresh  air,  we  were  obliged  to  turn  up  again 
for  a  wee,  to  let  the  man  past,  that  was  bringing  in  the 
dead-deal. 

But  why  weave  a  long  story  out  of  the  materials  of  sor- 
row ?  or  endeavour  to  paint  feelings  that  have  no  outward 
sign,  lying  shut  up  within  the  sanctuary  of  the  heart  ?  The 
grief  of  a  father  and  a  mother  can  only  be. conceived  by 
them  who,  as  fathers  and  mothers,  have  suffered  the  loss  of 
their  bairns, — a  treasure  moie  precious  to  nature  than  silver 
or  gold,  home  to  the  land-sick  sailor,  or  daylight  to  the  blind 
man,  sitting  beaking  in  the  heat  of  the  morning  sun. 

The  coffin  having  been  ordered  to  be  got  ready  with  all 
haste,  two  men  brought  it  in  on  their  shoulders  betimes  on 
the  following  morning  ;  and  it  was  a  si^ht  that  mace  my 
blood  run  cold  to  see  the  dead  corpse  of  poor  JVlungo.  my 
own  'prentice,  hoisted  up  Irem  the  bed.  and  laid  in  bis  black- 
handled,  narrow  housie.  Ail  had  taken  their  last  looks,  the 
lid  was  screwed  down  by  means  of  screw  drivers,  and  I  read 
the  plate,  which  said,  "Muiigo  Glen,  aged  15."  Alas! 
early  was  he  cut  off  from  among  the  living — a  flower  snapped 
m  its  spring  blossom — and  an  awlul  warning  to  us  all,  sin- 


190  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

Ail  and  heedless  mortals,  of  the  uncertainty  of  this  stef~  oi 
being. 

In  the  course  of  the  forenoon    ft  '^\  8  ^V™* 

brought  to  the  door^d—  -*  lWO  .b,a*k  borses  with  long 
tails  and  fc-^-v  ~ci,  a  tram  one  and  a  leader.  Though  the 
jvu  snook  my  nerves,  I  could  not  refuse  to  give  them  a  hand 
down  the  stair  with  the  coffin,  which  had  a  fief-like  smell  of 
death  and  saw-dust;  and  we  got  it  fairly  landed  in  the  cart, 
among  clean  straw.  1  saw  the  clodbapper  of  a  plowman  aye 
dighting  his  een  with  the  sleeve  of  his  big-coat. 

The  mother,  Mistress  diem  a  little  fatten  woman,  and  as 
fine  a  homely  body  as  ye  ever  met  with,  but  sorely  distracted 
at  this  time  by  sorrow,  sat  at  the  head,  with  her  bonnet 
drawn  over  her  face,  and  her  shawl  thrown  across  her 
shoulders,  being  a  blue  and  red  spot  on  a  w  bite  ground.  It; 
was  a  dismal-like-looking  thing  to  see  her  sitting  there,  with 
the  dead  body  of  her  son  at  her  feet ;  and,  at  the  side  o't 
his  kist  with  his  claes,  on  the  top  of  which  was  tied — not 
being  room  for 'tin  the  inside  like,  (for  he  had  twelve  shirts, 
and  three  pair  of  trowsers,  and  a  Sunday  and  every-day's 
coat,  with  stockings  and  other  things) — his  old  white  beaver 
bat,  turned  up  behind,  which  he  usee  to  wear  when  be  was 
with  me.  His  Sunday's  hat  I  did  not  see,  but  most  likely  it 
was  in  among  his  claes,  to  keep  it  from  the  rain,  and  pre- 
served, no  doubt,  Tor  the  use  of  seme  of  his  little  brothers, 
please  God,  when  they  grew  up  a  wee  bigger. 

Seeing  Maister  Glen,  who  had  cut  his  chin  in  shaving,  in 
a  worn-out  disjasket  slate,  mounted  en  his  sheltie,  J  shook 
hands  with  them  both  ;  and,  in  my  thoughtlessness,  wished 
them  "  a  good  journey," — knowing  well  what  a  sorrowful 
home  going  it  would  be  to  them,  and  v  hat  their  bairns  would 
think  when  they  saw  what  was  lying  in  the  cart  beside  their 
mother.  On  this  the  big  plowman,  that  wore  a  broad  blue 
bonnet  and  corduroy  cutikins,  with  a  gray  big-coat  slit  up 
behind  in  the  manner  I  common!)'  made  for  laddies,  gave  his 
long  whip  a  crack,  and  drove  of)  to  the  eastward. 

It,  would  be  needless  in  me  to  waste  precious  time  in  re- 
lating how  I  returned  to  my  own  country,  especially  as  I 
may  be  thankful  that  nothing  particular  happened, excepting 
the  coach  wheels  riding  over  an  old  dog  that  was  lying  sleep- 
ing on  the  middle  of  the  road,  and,  poor  brute,  nearly  got 
one  of  his  fore-paws  chacked  off.  The  day  was  sharp  and 
frosty,  and  all  the  passengers  took  a  loup  off  at  a  yill-house> 


ANENT   MUNGO    GLEN.  19  i 

with  a  Hielandman  on  the  sign  of  it,  to  get  a  dram,  to  gar 
them  bear  up  agains:  the  cold  ;  yet  kenning  what  had  but 
so  lately  happened,  and  having  the  fears  of  Maister  Wiggie 
before  my  een,  I  ha  i  made  a  solemn  vow,  within  myself,  not 
to  taste  liquor  for  six  months  at  least ;  nor  would  I  here 
break  my  word,  tho'  much  made  a  fool  of  by  an  Englisher, 
and  a  fou  Einsher,  who  sang  all  the  road,  contenting  myself, 
in  the  best  way  I  could,  with  a  tumbler  of  strong  beer,  and 
two  butter-cakes. 

It  is  an  old  proverb,  and  a  true  one,  that  there  is  no  rest 
to  the  wicked  ;  so  when  I  got  home,  I  found  business  crying 
out  for  me  loudly,  having  been  twice  wanted  to  take  the 
measure  for  suits  of  claes.  Ol'  course,  kenning  that  my 
two  customers  would  be  wearying,  I  immediately  cut  my 
stick  to  their  houses,  and  promised  without  fail  to  have  my 
work  done  against  the  next  Sabbath.  ,  Whether  from  my 
hurry,  or  my  grief  for  poor  Mango,  or  maybe  from  both,  I 
found  on  the  Saturday  night,  when  the  cl aes  were  sent  home 
on  the  arm  of  Tammie  Bodkin,  whom  I  was  obliged  to  hire 
by  way  of  foresman,  that  some  awfu!  mistake  had  occurred 
— the  coat  of  the  one  having  been  made  for  the  back  of  the 
other,  the  one  being  long  and  tall,  the  other  thick  and  short ; 
so  that  Maister  Peter  Pole's  cuffs  did  not  reach  above  half- 
way down  his  arms,  and  the  tails  ended  at  the  small  of  the 
back,  rendering  him  a  perfect  fright ;  while  Maister  Watty 
Firkin's  new  coat  hung  on  him  like  a  dreadnought,  the 
sleeves  coming  over  the  nebs  of  his  ringers,  and  the  haunch 
buttons  hanging  down  between  his  heels,  making  him  re- 
semble a  mouse  below  a  firlot  With  some  persuasion, 
however,  there  being  but  small  difference  in  the  value  of  the 
cloths,  the  one  being  a  west  of  England  bottle-green,  and 
the  other  a  Manchester  blue,  I  caused  them  to  niffer,  and 
hushed  up  the  business,  which,  had  they  been  obstreperous, 
would  have  made  half  the  parish  of  Dalkeith  stand  on  end. 

After  poor  Mungo  had  been  beneath  the  mools,  I  daresay 
a  good  month,  Benjie,  as  he  was  one  forenoon  diverting  him- 
self dozing  his  tap  in  the  room  where  they  sleeped,  happened 
to  drive  it  in  below  the  bed,  where,  scrambling  in  on  his 
hands  and  feet,  he  found  a  half  sheet  of  paper  written  over 
in  Mungo's  hand-writing,  the  which  he  brought  to  me  ;  and, 
on  looking  over  it,  I  found  it  jingled  in  metre  like  the  psalms 
of  David. 

Having  no  skeei  in  these  matters,  I  sent  up  the  closs  for 


192  LIFE    OF   MANSIE    WAUCH. 

James  Batter,  who  being  a  member  of  the  fifteen-pence  a 
quarter  subscription  book-club,  had  read  a  power  of  all 
sorts  of  things,  sacred  and  profane.  James,  as  he  was  hum- 
ming it  over  with  his  specs  on  his  beak,  gave  now  and  then 
a  thump  on  his  thigh,  saying,  "  Prime,  prime,  man,  fine, 
prime,  good,  capital,"  and  so  on,  which  astonished  me 
much,  kenning#who  had  written  it — a  callant  that  had  sleeped 
with  our  Benjie,  and  could  not  have  shaped  a  pair  of 
leggins,  though  we  had  offered  him  the  crown -of  the  three 
kingdoms. 

Seeing  what  it  was  thought  of  by  one  who  kent  what  was 
what,  and  could  distinguish  the  difference  between  a  B  and 
bull's  foot,  I  judged  it  necessary  for  me  to  take  a  copy  of  it ; 
which,  for  the  benefit  of  them  that  like  poems,  I  do  not 
scruple  to  tag  to  the  tail  of  this  chapter. 

Oh  wad  that  my  time  were  ower  but, 

Wi'  this  wintry  sleet  and  soaw, 
That  I  might  see  our  house  again 

P  the  bonnie  birken  shaw  !— 
For  this  is  no  my  ain  life, 

And  I  p^ak  and  pine  away, 
Wi'  the  thochts  o'  harue,  and  the  young  flow'rs, 

P  the  glad  green  month  o'  May. 

I  used  to  wauk  in  the  morning 

Wi'  the  loud  sang  o'  the  lark, 
And  the  whistling  o'  the  ploughmen  lads, 

As  they  gaed  to  their  wark  ; 
I  used  to  weir  in  the  young  lambs 

Frae  the  tod  and  the  roaring  stream  ; 
But  the  warld  is  changed,  and  a'  thing  now 

To  me  seems  like  a  dream. 

There  are  busy  erowds  around  me 

On  ilka  lang  dull  street ; 
Yet,  though  sae  raony  surround  me, 

I  kenna  ane  I  meet. 
And  I  think  on  kind,  kent  faces, 

And  o'  blithe  and  cheery  days, 
When  I  wander'd  out,  wi'  our  ain  folk, 

Out-owre  the  simmer  braes. 

Wae's  me,  for  my  heart  is  breaking  ? 

I  think  on  my  biitheis  sraa', 
And  on  my  sister  greeting, 

When  I  came  frae  harae  awn  ; 
And  oh  !  how  ray  mither  sobbit, 

As  she  shook  me  by  the  hand  ; 
When'  I  left  the  door  o'  our  auld  house, 

To  come  to  this  stranger  land  ! 


A   PHILISTINE   IN   THE   COAL-HOLE,  193 

There  's  nae  place  like  oar  am  hame  ; 

Oh,  I  wish  that  I  was  there ! — 
There  's  nae  hame  like  our  ain  hame 

To  be  met  wi*  ony  where ! — 
And,  oh  !  that  I  were  back  again 

To  our  farm  and  fields  so  green  ; 
And  heard  the  tongues  o'  my  ain  folk, 

And  was  what  1  hae  been  I 

That 's  poor  Mungo's  poem ;  which  I  and  James  Batter, 
*nd  the  rest  think  excellent,  and  not  far  short  of  Robert 
Burns  himself,  had  he  been  spared.  Some  may  judge  other- 
wise, out  of  bad  taste  or  ill  nature  ;  but  I  tf  ould  just  thank 
fhem  to  write  a  better  at  their  leisure. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

A   PHILISTINE   IN   THE  COAL-HOLE, 

Tbev  steeked  doors,  they  steeked  yetts, 

Close  to  the  cheek  and  chin  ; 
They  steeked  them  a'  but  a  wee  wicket, 

And  Lammikin  crap  in. 

Ballad  of  the  Lammikin* 

Hame  cam  our  gudeman  at  een, 

And  hame  cam  he  ; 
And  there  he  spied  a  man, 

Where  a  man  shouldna  be  ; 
Hoo  cam  this  man,  kimmer, 

And  who  can  it  be  ; 
Hoo  cam  this  carle  here, 

Without  the  leave  o'me? 

Old  Song. 

Years  wore  on  after  the  departure  and  death  of  poor 
iVIungo  Glen,  during  the  which  I  had  a  sowd  of  'prentices, 
good,  bad,  and  indifferent,  and  who  afterwards  cut,  and  are 
cutting,  a  variety  of  figures  in  the  world.  Sometimes  I  had 
two  or  three  at  a  time  ;  for  the  increase  of  business  that 
flowed  in  upon  me  with  a  full  stream  was  tremendous,  ena- 
bling me — who  say't  that  should  not  say 't—  to  lay  bye  a  wheeii 
bawbees  for  a  sore  head,  or  the  frailties  of  old  age.  Some- 
how or  other,  the  claes  made  on  my  shop-board  came  into 
great  vogue  through  all  Dalkeith,  both  for  neatness  of  s)iape, 
and  nicety  of  workmanship  ;  and  the  young  journeymen  of 
17 


194  LIFE,  OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

other  masters  did  not  think  themselves  perfected,  or  worthy 
a  decent  wage,  till  they  had  crooked  their  houghs  for  three 
months  in  my  service.  With  regard  to  myself,  some  of  my 
acquaintances  told  me,  that  if  1  had  gone  into  Edinburgh  to 
push  my  fortune,  I  could  have  cut  half  the  trade  out  of  bread, 
and  maybe  risen,  in  the  course  of  nature,  to  be  Lord  Pro- 
vost himselr ;  but  I  just  heard  them  speak,  and  kept  my 
wheisht.  Every  man  has  a  right  to  be  the  best  judge  of  his 
own  private  matters  ;  though,  to  be  sure,  the  advice  of  a 
true  friend  is  often  more  precious  than  rubies,  and  sweeter 
than  the  Balm  of  Gilead. 

It  was  about  the  month  of  March,  in  the  year  of  grace 
anno  domini  eighteen  hundred,  that  the  whole  country  trem- 
bled, like  a  giant  ill  of  the  ague,  under  the  consternation  of 
Buonaparte,  and  all  the  French  vagabonds  emigrating  overT 
and  landing  in  the  Firth.  Keep  us  all !  the  folk,  doitit  bo- 
dies, put  less  confidence  than  became  them  in  what  our  vo- 
lunteer regiments  were  able  and  willing  to  do  ;  though  we 
had  a  remnant  among  us  of  the  true  blood,  that  with  loud 
laughter  laughed  the  creatures  to  scorn  ;  and  I,  for  one,  kept 
up  my  pluck,  like  a  true  Icelander.  Does  any  living  soul 
believe  that  Scotland  could  be  conquered,  and  the  like  of  us 
sold,  like  Egyptian  slaves,  into  captivity  ?  Fie,  fie — 1  de- 
pise  such  haivers.  Are  we  not  descended,  faither  and  son, 
from  Robert  Bruce  and  Sir  William  Wallace,  having  the 
bright  blood  of  freemen  in  our  veins,  and  the  Pentland  Hills, 
as  well  as  our  own  dear  homes  and  fire  sides  to  fight  for  ? 
The  rascal  that  would  not  give  cut  and  thrust  for  his  coun- 
try, as  long  as  he  had  a  breath  to  draw,  or  a  leg  to  stand 
on,  should  be  tied  neck  and  heels,  without  benefit  of  clergy, 
and  thrown  over  Leith  pier,  to  swim  for  his  life  like  a  mangy 
dog! 

Hard  doubtless  it  is — and  I  freely  confess  it — to  be  called 
by  sound  of  bugle  or  tuck  of  drum,  from  the  counter  and 
the  shop-board, — men,  that  have  been  born  and  bred  to 
peaceful  callings,  to  mount  the  red-jacket,  soap  the  hair, 
buckle  on  the  buff- belt,  load  with  ball-cartridge,  and  screw 
bayonets  :  but  it's  no  use  talking ;  we  were  ever  the  free 
British,  and  before  we  would  say  to  Frenchmen  that  we  were 
their  humble  servants,  we  would  either  twist  the  very  noses 
©if  their  faces,  or  perish  in  the  glorious  struggle. 

It  was  aye  the  opinion  of  the  Opposition- folk,  the  Whigs, 
the  Black-nebs,  the  Radicals,  and  the  Friends  of  the  People, 


A  PHILISTINE  IN  THE  COAL-HOLE.  196 

together  with  the  rest  of  the  clan-jamphrey,  that  it  was  a 
done* battle,  and  that  Buonaparte  would  lick  us  back  and  side. 
All  this  was  in  the  heart  and  heat  of  the  great  war,  when  we 
were  struggling,  like  drowning  men,  for  our  very  lite  and  ex- 
istence, and  when  our  colours  were  nailed  to  the  mast-head. 
One  would  have  thought  they  were  a  set  of  prophets,  they 
were  all  so  busy  prophesying  and  never  anything  good.  They 
kent  ("believe  thern)  that  we  were  to  be  smote  hip  and  thigh; 
and  that  to  opp  >se  the  vile  Corsican  was  like  men  with 
strait-jackets  out  of  Bedlam.  They  could  see  nothing  brew- 
ing around  them,  but  death  and  disaster,  and  desolation,  and 
pillage,  and  national  bankruptcy,-— our  brave  Hielanders, 
with  their  heads  shot  off,  lying  on  the  bloody  field  of  battle, 
all  slaughtered  to  a  man,  our  sailors,  ha»»d-cufFed  and 
shackled,  musing  in  French  prison  on  the  by-past  days  of 
Camperdovvn,  and  of  Lord  Rodney  breaking  through  the 
line,  with  all  their  fleets  sunk  to  the  bottom  of  the  salt  sea, 
after  being  raked  fore  and  aft  with  chain-shot,  and  our  tim- 
ber, sugar,  tea,  and  treacle  merchants,  all  fleeing  for  safety 
and  succour  down  to  lodgings  in  the  Abbey-strand,  with  a 
yellow  stocking  on  the  ae  leg,  and  a  black  one  on  the  other, 
like  a  wheen  mountebanks.  Little  could  they  foresee,  with 
their  spentacles  of  prophecy,  that  a  battle  of  Waterloo  would 
ever  be  fought,  to  make  the  confounded  fugies  draw  in  their 
horns,  and  steik  up  their  scraighing  gabs  for  ever. 

I  do  not  pretend  to  be  a  politician, — having  been  bred  to 
the  tailoring  line  syne  ever  [  was  a  callant,  and  not  seeing 
the  Adverteezer  Newspapers,  or  the  Edinburgh  Evening 
Courant,  save  and  except  at  an  orra  time,-rSo  I  shall  say  no 
more,  nor  pretend  to  be  one  of  the  thousand-and-one  wise 
men  able  and  willing  to  direct  his  [Majesty's  Ministers  on  all 
matters  of  importance  regarding  Church  or  State.  One 
thing,  howsoever,  1  trust  I  ken,  and  that  is,  my  duty  to  my 
King,  as  his  loyal  subject,  to  old  Scotland,  as  her  unworthy 
son,  and  to  my  family,  as  their  prop,  support,  and  breadwin- 
ner ; — so  I  shall  stick  to  all  three  (under  Heaven)  as  long  as 
I  have  a  drop  of  blood  in  my  precious  veins.  But  the  truth 
is — and  I  will  let  it  out  and  shame  the  de'il — that  T  could 
not  help  making  these  general  observations,  (as  Maister 
Wiggie  calls  the  spiritualeezing  of  his  discourses,)  as  what 
I  have  to  relate  might  well  make  my  principles  suspected, 
were  they  not  known  to  all  the  world  to  be  as  firm  as  the 
foundations  of  the  Bass  Rock.  Ye  shall  nevertheless  judge 
for  yoarselves. 


196  UFE   OF  toANSIE   WAUCK. 

It  was  sometime  in  the  blasty  month  of  March,  the  weathef 
being  rawish  and  rainy,  with  sharp  frosty  nights  that  left  all 
the  window-soles  whitewashed  over  with  frost-rind  in  the 
mornings,  that,  as  I  was  going  out  in  the  dark,  before  lying 
down  in  my  bed,  to  give  a  look  into  the  hen-house  door,  and 
lock  the  coal-cellar,  so  that  I  might  hang  the  bit  key  on  the 
nail  behind  our  room  window  shutter.  I  happened  to  give  a 
keek  in*  and,  lo  and  behold  !  the  awful  apparition  of  a  man 
with  a  yellow  jacket,  lying  sound  asleep  on  a  great  lump  of 
parrot-coal,  in  a  corner  ! 

In  the  first  hurry  of  my  terror  and  surprise,  at  seeing  a 
man  with  a  yellow  jacket  and  a  blue  foraging-cap  in  such 
a  situation,  I  was  like  to  drop  the  good  twopenny  candle, 
Tind  faint  clean  away ;  but,  coming  to  myself  in  a  jiffie,  1 
determined,  in  case  it  might  be  a  highway  robber,  to  thraw 
about  the  key,  and,  running  up  tor  the  firelock,  shoot  him 
through  the  head  instantly,  if  found  necessary.  In  turning 
round  the  key,  the  lock,  being  in  want  of  a  feather  of  oil, 
made  a  noise,  and  wakened  the  poor  wretch,  who,  jumping 
to  the  soles  of  his  feet  in  despair,  cried  out  in  a  voice  that 
was  like  to  break  my  heart,  though  T  could  not  make  out 
one  word  of  his  paraphernally.  It  minded  me,  by  all  the 
world,  of  a  wheen  cats  furling  and  fighting  through  ither* 
and  whiles  something  that  sounded  like  "  Sugar,  sugar, 
measure  the  cord,"  and  "  dabble  dabble. "  It  was  worse 
than  the  most  outrageous  Gaelic  ever  spoken  in  the  height 
of  passion  by  a  Hieland  shearer. 

"  Oho  !"  thinks  1,  "  friend,  ye  cannot  be  a  Christian  from 
your  lingo,  that's  one  thing  poz  ;  and  J  would  wager  tip- 
pence  your  a  Frenchy.  Who  kens,  keep  us  all,  but  ye  may 
be  Buonaparte  himself  in  disguise,  come  over  in  a  flat-bot- 
tomed boat  to  spy  the  nakedness  of  the  land.  So  ye  may 
just  rest  content,  and  keep  your  quarters  good  till  the  morn's 
morning." 

It  was,  a  wonderful  business,  and  enough  to  happen  to  a 
man  in  the  course  of  his  lifetime,  to  find  Mounseer  from 
Pans  in  his  coal-neuk,  and  hav*e  the  enemy  of  his  country 
snug  under  lock  and  key  ;  so,  while  he  kept  rampaging, 
fuffing,  stamping,  and  diabbling  away,  I  went  in,  and  brought 
out  Benjie,  with  a  blanket  rowed  round  him,  and  my  jour- 
neyman, Tommy  Staytape,—  who  being  an  orphan,  I  made 
a  kind  of  parlour- boarder  of,  he  sleeping. on  a  shake-down 
beyond  the  kitchen  fire — to  hold  a  consultation  and  be  wi* 
**ess  of  the  transaction. 


A  PHILISTINE  IN  THE  COAL-HOLE.  19  i 

I  got  my  musket,  and  Tommy  Staytape  armed  himself 
with  the  goose,  a  deadly  weapon,  whoever  may  get  a  clour 
with  it,  and  Benjie  took  the  poker  in  one  hand  and  the  tongs 
in  the  other  ;  and  out  we  all  marched  briskly,  to  make  the 
Frenchman,  that  was  locked  up  from  the  light  of  day  in  the 
coal-house,  surrender.  After  hearkening  at  the  door  for  a 
while,  and  finding  all  quiet,  we  gave  a  knock  to  rouse  him 
up,  and  see  if  we  could  bring  anything  out  of  him  by  speer- 
ing  him  cross- questions.  Tommy  and  Benjie  trembled  from 
top  to  toe,  like  aspen  leaves,  but  fient  a  word  could  we  make 
common  sense  of  at  all.  I  wonder  who  educates  these  fo- 
reign creatures  ?  it  was  in  vain  to  follow  him,  for  he  just 
gab-gabbled  away,  like  one  of  the  stone-masons  at  the  tower 
of  Babel.  At  first  I  was  completely  bamboozled,  and  almost 
dung  stupid,  though  I  kent  one  word  of  French  which  I 
wanted  to  put  to  him,  so  i  cried  through,  "  Carina  you  speak 
Scotcha,  Mounseer  ?'' 

He  had  not  the  politeness  to  stop  and  make  answer,  but 
just  went  on  with  his  string  of  haivers,  without  either  rhyme 
or  reason,  which  we  could  make  neither  top,  tail,  nor 
main  of. 

It  was  a  sore  trial  to  us  all,  putting  us  to  our  wit's  end, 
and  how  to  come  on  was  past  all  visible  comprehension  ; 
when  Tommy  Staytape,  giving  his  elbow  a  rub,  said,  "  'Od* 
maister,  I  wager  something,  that  he  's  broken  loose  frae 
Pennicuick.     We  have  him  like  a  rotten  in  fa\" 

On  Pennicuick  being  mentioned,  we  heard  the  foreign 
creature  in  the  coal-house  groaning  out,  "  och"  and  "  ohone," 
and  "  parbleu,''  and  "  Mysie  Rabble," — that  I  fancy  was"his 
sweetheart  at  home,  some  bit  French  quean,  that  wondered 
he  was  never  like  to  come  from  the  wars  and  marry  her.  I 
thought  on  this,  for  his  voice  was  mournful^  though  I  could 
not  understand  the  words ;  and  kenning  he  was  a  stranger 
in  a  far  land,  my  bowels  yearned  within  me  with  compassion 
towards  him. 

I  would  have  given  half-a-crown,  at  that  blessed  moment, 
to  have  been  able  to  wash  my  hands  free  of  him  ;  but  1 
svvithered,  and  was  like  the  cuddie  between  the  two  bundles 
of  hay.  At  long  and  last  a  thought  struck  me,  which  was 
to  give  the  deluded  simple  creature  a  chance  of  escape  ; 
reckoning  that,  if  he  found  his  way  home,  he  would  see  the 
shame  and  folly  of  fighting  against  us  any  more  ;  and,  mar 
rying  Mysie  Rabble,  live  a  contended  and  peaceful  life* 
17* 


idB  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUClJt. 

under  his  own  fig  and  bay  tree.  So,  wishing  kirn  a  sound 
sleep,  1  cried  through  the  door,  "  Mounseer,  gooda  nighta ;" 
decoying  away  Benjie  and  Tommy  Staytape  into  the  house, 
Bidding  them  depart  to  their  beds,  I  said  to  them,  after  shut 
ting  the  door,  "  Now,  callants,  we  have  the  precious  lite  ot 
a  fellow  creature  in  our  hand,  and  to  account  for.  Though 
he  has  a  yellow  jacket  on,  and  speaks  nonsense,  yet,  never- 
theless, he  is  of  the  same  flesh  and  blood  as  ourselves. 
Maybe  we  may  be  all  obliged  to  wear  green  foraging-caps 
before  we  die  yet !  Mention  what  we  have  seen  or  heard 
to  no  living  soul  ;  for  maybe,  if  he  uere  to  escape,  we 
would  he  all  taken  Up  on  suspicion  of  being  spies,  and  hanged 
Oh  a  gallows  as  high  as  Hainan." —  After  giving  them  this 
wholesome  advice,  I  despatched  them  to  their  beds  like 
lamplighters,  bidding  them  to  never  fash  their  thumbs,  but 
sleep  like  tops,  as  I  would  keep  a  sharp  look-out  till  morning. 

As  soon,  howsoever,  as  I  heard  them  sleeping,  and  playing 
'On  the  pipes  through  their  noses,  I  cried  first  u  Tommy," 
and  syne  tc  Benjie,"  to  be  sure;  and,  glad  to  receive  no 
answer  from  either,  I  Went  to  the  aumrie  and  took  out  a 
mutton-bone,  gey  sair  pyked,  but  fleshy  enough  at  the  mouse^ 
end  ;  and,  putting  a  penny  row  beside  it,  crap  out  to  the 
coal-house  on  my  tiptaes.  All  was  quiet  as  pussie, — so  I 
shot  them  through  the  hole  at  the  corner  made  for  letting  the 
gaislings  in  by  and  giving  a  tirl,  cried  softly  through, 
"  Halloa,  Mounseer,  there's  your  suppera  fora  youa ;  for  1 
dara  say  a  you  are  yauppa."  / 

The  poor  chiel  commenced  again  to  grunt  and  grane,  and 
groan  and  yelp,  and  cry  ohone  ; — and  make  such  wofu! 
lamentations,  that  heart  of  man  could  not  stand  it  ;  and  1 
found  the  warm  tears  prap-prapping  to  my  een.  -  Before 
being  put  to  this  trial  of  my  strength,  I  thought  that,  if  ever 
it  was  my  fortune  to  forgather  with  a  Frenchman,  either  him 
Or  me  should  do  or  die  ;  but,  i'fegs,  one  should  not  crack 
so  crouse  before  they  are  put  to  the  test ;  and,  though  1  had 
taken  a  prisoner  without  fighting  at  all, — though  he  had 
come  into  the  coal-house  of  the  Philistines  of  his  own  accord 
as  it  were,  and  was  as  safe  as  the  spy  in  the  house  of  Rahab 
at  Jericho, — and,  though  we  had  him,  like  a  mouse  beneath 
a  firlot,  snug  under  custody  of  lock  and  key,  yet  I  consid* 
tsred  within  myself  with  a  pitiful  consideration,  that,  although 
he  Could  not  speak  well,  he  might  yet  feel  deeply  ;  that  he 
Sjarglit  have  a  father  and  mother,  and  sisters  and  brothers-  in 


A   rHIilSTIKE   IN   THE   COAt-notE.  190 

liis  ain  country,  weeping  and  wearying  for  his  return ;  and 
that  his  truelove  Mysie  Rabble  might  pine  away  like  a  snap- 
ped flower,  and  die  of  broken  heart. 

Being  a  volunteer,  arid  so  one  of  his  Majesty's  confiden* 
tial  servants,  1  s withered  tremendously  between  my  duty  as 
a  man  and  a  soldier  ;  but,  do  what  you  like,  nature  will  aye 
be  uppermost.  The  scale  weighed  down  to  the  side  of 
pity,  i  hearkened  to  the  scripture  that  promises  a  blessing 
to  the  merciful  in  heart,  and  determined,  come  of  it  what 
would,  to  let  the  Frenchy  take  his  chance  of  falling  into 
other  hands. 

Having  given  him  a  due  allowance  by  looking  at  my 
watch,  and  thinking  he  would  have  had  enough  of  time  to 
have  taken  his  will  of  the  muttonbone  in  the  way  of  pyking, 
I  went  to  the  press  and  brought  out  a  bottle  of  swipes, 
which  I  also  shoved  through  the  hole  ;  although,  for  lack  of 
tanker,  their  being  none  at  hand,  he  wou  d  be  obliged  to 
lift  it  to  his  head,  and  do  his  best.  To  show  the  creature  did 
not  want  sense,  he  shoved  when  he  was  done  the  empty  plate 
and  the  toom  bottle  through  beneath  the  door,  mumbling 
some  trash  or  other,  which  no  living  creature  could  compre- 
hend, but  which,  I  dare  say,  from  the  way  it  was  said,  was 
the  telling  me  how  much  he  was  obliged  for  his  supper  and 
poor  lodging.  From  my  kindness  towards  him,  he  grew 
more  composed  ;  but  as  he  went  back  to  the  corner  to  lie 
down,  I  heard  him  give  two  or  three  heavy  sighs. — I  could  not 
thoPt,  mortal  foe  though  tne  man  was  of  mine,  so  1  gave  the 
key  a  canny  thraw  round  in  the  lock,  as  it  were  by  chance  ; 
and,  wishing  him  a  good  night,  went  to  my  bed  beside 
INanse. 

At  the  dawn  of  day,  by  cock-craw,  Benjie  and  Tommy 
Staytape,  keen  of  the  ploy,  were  up  and  a-stir,  as  anxious  as 
if  their  life  depended  on  it  to  see  that  all  was  safe  and  snug, 
and  that  the  prisoner  had  not  shot  the  lock.  They  agreed 
to  march  sentry  over  him,  half  an  hour  the  piece,  time  about, 
the  one  stretching  himself  out  on  a  stool  beside  the  kitchen 
fire,  by  way  of  a  bench  in  the  guard-house,  while  the  other 
went  to  and  fro  like  the  ticker  of  a  clock.  1  dare  say  they 
saw  themselves  marching  him^  after  breakfast  time,  with  his 
yellow  jacket,  through  a  mob  of  weans?  with  glowring  een  and 
gaping  mouths,  up  to  the  Tolbooth. 

The  back  window  being  up  a  jink,  I  heard  the  two  con- 
fabbing.    "  We'll  draw  cuts,"  said  Benjie,  "  which  is  to 


iOO  LIFE  OF  MANSIE  WAUCH. 

walk  sentry  first ;  see,  here 's  two  straws,  the  longest  gets 
the  choice/'  "  I've  won,"  cried  Tommy  ;  "so  gang  you 
in  a  while,  and,  if  I  need  ye,  or  grow  frightened,  I  '11  beat 
leather-ty-patch  wi'  my  buckles  on  the  back  door.  But  we 
had  better  see  first  what  he  is  about,  for  he  may  be  howking 
a  hole  through  aneath  the  foundations  ;  thae  fiefs  can  work 
like  moudiewards."  —  •"  I  '11  slip  forret,"  said  Benjie,  "  and 
gie  a  peep." — u  Keep  to  a  side,"  cried  Tommy  Staytape, 
M  for,  dog  on  it,  Moosey'll  maybe  hae  a  pistol  ;  and,  if  his 
birse  be  up,  he  would  think  nae  mair  o'  shooting  ye  as  dead 
as  a  mawk,  than  I  would  do  of  taking  my  breakfast." 

"  I  '11  rin  past,  and  gie  a  knock  at  the  door  wi'  the  poker 
to  rouse  him  up?"  asked  Benjie. 

"Come  away  then,"  answered  Tommy,  "and  ye '11  hear 
him  gie  a  yowl,  and  commence  gabbling  like  a  goose." 

As  ail  this  was  going  on,  I  rose  and  took  a  vizzy  between 
the  chinks  of  the  window-shutters  ;  so,  just  as  I  got  my  neb 
to  the  hole,  I  saw  Benjie,  as  he  flew  past,  give  the  door  a 
drive.  His  consternation,  on  finding  it  flee  half  open,  may 
be  easier  imagined  than  described  ;  especially,  as  on  the 
door  dunting  to  again,  it  being  soople  in  the  hinges,  they  both 
plainly  heard  a  fistling  within.  Neither  of  them  ever  got 
such  a  fleg  since  they  were  born  ;  for,  expecting  the  French- 
man to  bounce  out  like  a  roaring  lion,  they  hurried  like  mad 
into  the  house,  couping  the  creels  over  one  another,  Tommy 
spraining  his  thumb  against  the  back  door,  and  Benjie's  footr 
going  into  Tommys  coat  pocket,  which  it  carried  away  with 
it,  like  a  cloth  sandal. 

At  the  noise  of  this  stramash,  I  took  opportunity  to  come 
fleeing  down  the  stair,  with  the  gun  in  my  hand ;  in  the  first 
place,  to  show  them  I  was  not  frightened  to  handle  firearms  ; 
and,  in  the  second,  making  pretence  that  I  thought  it  was 
Mounseer  with  his  green  foraging-cap,  making  an  attempt  at 
housebreaking.  Benjie  was  in  a  terrible  pickle  ;  and  though 
his  nose  was  blooding  with  the  drive  he  had  come  against 
Tommy's  teeth,  he  took  hold  of  my  arm  like  grim  death, 
crying,  "  Take  tent,  farther,  take  tent  ;  the  door  is  open, 
and  the  Pennicuicker  hiding  himself  behind  it.  He  '11  brain 
some  of  us  with  a  lump  of  coal." 

I  jaloused  at  once  that  this  was  nonsense  ;  judging  that,  by 
all  means  of  rationality,  the  creature  would  be  off  and  away 
like  lightning  to  the  sea-shore,  and  over  to  France  in  some 
honest  man's  fishing  boat,  down  bv  at  Fisherrow  ;  but  to 


A   PHILISTINE   IN   THE   COAL-HOLE.  201 

throw  stoure  in  the  een  of  the  two  callants,  I  loaded  with  a 
wheen  draps  in  their  presence  ;  and  warily  priming  the  pan,, 
went  forward  with  the  piece  at  full-cock. 

Tommy  and  Benjie  came  behind  me,  while,  pushing  the 
door  wide  open  with  the  muzzle,  as  I  held  my  finger  at  the 
tricker,  I  cried,  "  Stand  or  be  shot ;"  when  young  Curse- 
cowl's  big  ugly  mastiff-dog,  with  the  bare  mutton-bone  in  its 
teeth,  bolted  through  between  my  legs  like  a  fury,  and  with 
such  a  force  as  to  heel  me  over  on  the  braid  of  my  back, 
while  I  went  a  dunt  on  the  causeway  that  made  the  gun  go 
off,  and  riddle  Nanse's  best  washing-tub  in  a  manner  that  laid 
it  on  the  superannuated-list  as  to  the  matter  of  holding  in 
water.  The  goose,  that  was  sitting  on  her  eggs,  among 
clean  straw,  in  the  inside  of  it,  was  also  rendered  a  lamiter 
for  life. 

What  became  of  the  French  vagrant  Was  never  seen  or 
heard  tell  of  from  that  day  to  this.  Maybe  he  was  catched, 
and,  tied  neck  and  heels,  hurried  back  to  Pennicuick,  as 
fast  as  he  left  it ;  or  maybe — as  one  of  the  Fisherrow  oyster- 
boats  was  amissing  next  morning—  he  succeeded  in  giving 
our  brave  fleets  the  slip,  and  rowing  night  and  day  against 
wind  and  tide,  got  home  in  a  safe  skin  :  but  this  is  all  matter 
of  surmise, — nobody  kens. 

On  making  search  in  the  coal-house,  at  our  leisure  after- 
wards,  we  found  a  boxful  of  things  with  black  dots  on  them, 
some  with  one,  some  with  two,  and  four  and  six,  and  so  on, 
for  playing  at  an  outlandish  game  they  call  the  dominoes. 
It  was  the  handiwork  of  the  poor  French  creature,  that  had 
no  other  Christian  employment,  but  making  these  and  such 
like,  out  of  sheep-shanks  and  marrow-bones.  I  never  liked 
gambling  all  my  life,  it  being  contrary  to  the  Ten  Command- 
ments ;  and  mind  of  putting  on  the  back  of  the  fire  the  old 
p;ick  of  cards,  with  the  Jack  of  trumps  among  them,  that 
the  deboched  journeymen  tailors,  in  the  shop  with  me  in  the 
Grass-market,  used  to  play  birkie  with  them  the  maister's 
back  was  turned.  This  is  the  first  time  I  have  acknowledged 
the  transaction  to  a  living  soul ;  had  they  found  me  out  at 
the  time,  my  life  would  not  have  been  worth  a  pinch  of  snuff. 
But  as  to  the  dominoes,  considering  that  the  Frenchy  must 
Jaave  left  them  as  a  token  of  gratitude,  and  as  the  only  pay- 
ment in  his  power  for  a  bit  comfortable  supper,  it  behooved 
me— for  so  I  thought — not  to  turn  the  wrong  side  of  my 


202  LIFE    OF   MANS1E    WAUCH. 

face  altogether  on  his  present,  as  that  would  be  unmannerly 
towards  a  poor  stranger. 

Nevertheless  and  notwithstanding  all  these  reasons,  the 
dominoes,  after  everything  that  can  be  said  of  good  anent 
them,  were  a  black  sight,  and  for  months  and  months  produced 
a  scene  of  riot  and  idleset  after  working  hours,  that  went  far 
to  render  our  housie,  that  was  before  a  picture  of  decorum 
and  decency,  a  tabernacle  of  confusion,  and  a  hell  upon 
earth.  Whenever  time  for  stopping  work  came  about,  down 
we  regularly  all  sat,  night  after  night,  the  wife,  Benjie, 
Tommy  Staytape,  and  myself,  playing  for  a  ha'penny  the 
game,  and  growing  as  anxious,  fierce,  and  keen  about  it,  as  if 
we  had  been  earning  the  bread  of  life.  After  two  three 
months'  trial,  I  saw  that  it  would  never  do,  for  all  subordina- 
tion was  fast  coming  to  an  end  in  our  bit  house,  and,  for 
lack  of  looking  after,  a  great  number  of  small  accounts  for 
clouting  elbows,  piecing  waistcoats,  and  mending  leggins,  re- 
mained unpaid  ;  a  great  number  of  wauf  customers  crowding 
about  us,  by  way  of  giving  us  their  change,  but  with  no  intention 
of  ever  paying  a  single  fraction.  The  wife,  that  used  to 
keep  everything  bein  and  snug,  behaving  herself  like  the 
sober  mother  of  a  family,  began  to  funk  on  being  taken 
through  hands,  and  grew  obstrapulous  with  her  tongue. 
Instead  of  following  my  directions — who  was  his  born 
maister  in  the  cutting  and  shaping  line — Tommy  Staytape 
pretended  to  set  up  a  judgment  of  his  ain,  and  disfigured 
some  plowmen's  jackets  in  a  manner  most  hideous  to  behold ; 
while,  to  crown  all,  even  Absalom,  the  very  callant  Benjie, 
my  only  bairn,  had  the  impudence  to  contradict  me  more 
than  once,  and  began  to  think  himself  as  clever  as  his  fattier. 
Save  us  all !  it  was  a  terrible  business,  but  I  determined, 
come  what  would,  to  give  it  the  finishing  stitch. 

Every  night  being  worse  than  another,  1  did  not  wait  long 
for  an  opportunity  of  letting  the  whole  of  them  ken  my  mind, 
and  that  whenever  1  chose,  I  could  make  them  wheel  to  the 
right  about.  So  it  chanced,  as  we  were  playing,  that  I  was 
in  prime  luck,  first  rooking  the  one  and  syne  the  other,  and  I 
saw  them  twisting  and  screwing  their  mouths  about  as  if 
they  were  chewing  bitter  aloes.  Finding  that  they  were 
on  the  point  of  being  beaten  roup  and  stoup,  they  all  three 
rose  up  from  the  chairs,  crying  with  one  voice,  that  I  was  a 
cheat. — An  elder  of  Maister  Wiggie's  kirk  to  be  called  a 
cheat !  Most  awful ! ! !  Flesh  and  blood  could  not  stand  it, 


A  PHILISTINE   IN   THE   COAL-HOLE.  203 

more  especially  when  I  thought  on  who  had  dared  to  presume 
to  call  me  such ;  so,  in  a  whirlwind  of  fury  I  swept  up  two 
nievefuls  of  dominoes  off  the  table,  and  made  them  flee  into 
the  bleezmg  fire  ;  where,  after  fizzing  and  cracking  like  a 
wheen  squeebs,  the  whole  tot,  except  about  half-a-dozen, 
which  fell  into  the  porritch-pot  which  was  on  boiling  at  the 
time,  were  reduced  to  aheap  of  gray  aizles.  i  soon  showed 
them  who  was  the  top  of  the  tree,  and  what  they  were  likely 
to  make  of  undutiful  rebellion. 

So  much  for  a  Mounseer's  legacy ;  being  in  a  kind  01 
doubt,  wiiether,  according  to  the  riot  act  and  the  articles  of 
war,  I  had  a  clear  conscience  in  letting  him  away,  I  could  not 
expect  that  any  favour  granted  at  his  hands  was  likely  to 
prosper.  In  fighting,  it  is  weil  kent  to  themselves  and  all 
the  world,  that  they  have  no  earthly  chance  with  us  ;  so  they 
are  reduced  to  the  necessity  of  doing  what  they  can,  by 
coming  to  our  firesides  in  sheep's  clothing,  and  throwing 
ram-pushion  among  the  family  broth.  They  had  better  take 
care  that  they  do  not  get  their  fingers  scadded. 

Having  given  the  dominoes  their  due,  and  washed  my 
hands  free  of  gambling  I  trust  for  evermore,  I  turned  myself 
to  a  better  business,  which  was  the  going,  leaf  by  leaf,  back 
through  our  bit  day-book,  where  !  found  a  tremendous  sowd 
of  wee  outstanding  debts.  1  daresay,  not  to  tell  a  lee,  there 
were  fifty  of  them,  from  a  shilling  to  eighteen-pence,  and  so 
on  ;  but  small  and  small  reckoned  up  by  simple  addition, 
amount  to  a  round  sum  ;  while,  to  add  to  the  misery  of  the 
matter,  I  found  we  were  entangling  ourselves  to  work  to  a 
wheen  ugly  customers,  skemps  that  had  not  wherewithal 
to  pay  lawful  debts,  and  downright  rascals,  raggamuflins^ 
and  ne'er-do-weels.  According  to  the  articles  of  indenture^ 
drawn  up  between  me  and  Tommy  Staytape,  by  Rory  Sneck- 
drawer,  the  penny-writer,  when  he  was  bound  a  'prentice  to 
me  for  seven  years,  I  had  engaged  myself  to  bring  mjn  up 
to  be  a  man  of  business.  Though  now  a  journeyman,  I 
reckoned  the  obligation  still  binding ;  so,  tying  up  two 
dockets  of  accounts  with  a  piece  of  twine,  I  gave  one  parcel 
to  Tommy  and  the  other  to  Benjie,  telling  them,  by  way  of 
encouragement,  that  I  would  give  them  a  penny  the  pound 
for  what  silver  they  could  bring  me  in  by  hook  or  crook. 

After  three  days  toil  and  trouble,  wherein  they  mostly 
wore  their  shoon  off  their  feet,  going  first  up  one  closs,  and 
syne  down  another,  up  trap-stairs  to  garrets,  and  ben  long 


204  MFE   OF  3KANSIE   WAUCII. 

trances  that  led  into  the  dirty  holes, — what  think  ye  did  they 
collect?  Not  one  bodle — not  one  coin  of  copper  !  This  ono 
was  out  of  work  ;— and  that  one  had  his  house-rent  to  pay  ; 
— and  a  third  one  had  an  income  in  his  nose  ; — and  a  fourth 
was  bedridden  with  rheumatics  ; — and  a  fifth  one's  mother's 
auntie's  cousin  was  dead  ; — and  a  sixth  one's  good-brother's 
nevoy  was  going  to  be  married  come  Martymas ; — and  a 
seventh  one  was  away  to  the  back  of  beyond  to  see  his 
granny  in  the  Hielands ;  and  so  on.  It  was  a  terrible 
business,  but  what  wool  can  ye  get  by  clipping  swine  ? 

The  only  rational  answers  1  got  were  two  ;  one  of  them 
Geggie  Trotter,  a  natural  simpleton,  told  Tommy  Staytape, 
u  that,  for  part-payment,  he  would  give  me  a  prime  leg  of 
mutton,  as  he  had  killed  his  sow1  last  week.'* — And  what, 
said  I  to  Benjie,  did  Jacob  TrufF  the  grave  digger  tell  ye  by 
way  of  news  ?  u  He  just  bad  me  tell  ye,  faither,  that  ho© 
could  ye  expect  he  cou'd  gie  ye  onything,  till  the  times  grew 
better,  as  he  hadna  buried  a  living  soul  in  the  kirkyard*  fo* 
rnair  nor  a  fortnight." 


CHAPTER  XXIIL 


pENJIE   ON   THE   CARPET, 

It's  no  in  titles,  nor  in  rank, 

It's  no  in  wealth,  like  Lon'on  bank, 

To  purchase  peace  and  rest ; 
It 's  no  in  making  rouckle  mair — 
It 's  no  in  books — it 's  no  in  lear, 

To  make  U9  truly  blest. 

Burns, 

It  is  a  most  wonderful  thing  to  the  eye  of  a  philosopher,  to 
make  observation  how  youth  gets  up,  notwithstanding  all 
the  dunts  and  tumbles  of  infancy — to  say  nothing  of  the 
3paining-brash  and  the  teeth-cutting  ;  and  to  behold  the  visi- 
ble changes  that  the  course  of  a  few  years  produces.  Keep 
us  all!  it  seemed  but  yesterday  to  me,  when  Benjie,  a  wee 
bit  smout  of  a  wean,  with  long  linty  locks  and  docked  pet- 
ticoat?, toddled  but  and  ben,  with  a  coral  gumstick  tied  round 


BENJIE   ON   THE    CARPET,  205 

his  waist  with  a  bit  knittin  ;  and  now,  after  he  had  been  at 
Dominie  Thresh'em's  for  four  years,  he  had  learned  to  read 
Barriers  Collection  almost  as  well  as  the  master  could  do  for 
his  lugs  ;  and  was  up  to  all  manner  of  accounts,  from  sim- 
ple addition  and  the  multiplication-table,  even  to  vulgar 
fractions,  and  all  the  lave  of  them. 

At  the  yearly  examination  of  the  school-room  by  the 
Presbytery  and  Master  Wiggie,  he  aye  sat  at  the  head  of  the 
form,  and  never  failed  getting  a  clap  on  the  head  and  a 
wheen  carvies.  They  that  are  fathers  will  not  wonder  that 
this  made  me  as  proud  as  a  peacock  ;  but  when  they  asked 
his  name,  and  found  whose  son  he  was,  then  the  matter 
seemed  to  cease  being  a  business  of  wonder,  as  nobody 
could  suppose  that  an  only  bairn,  born  to  me  in  lawful  wed- 
lock, could  be  a  dult.  Folk's  cleverness — at  least  I  should 
think  so — lies  in  their  pows  ;  and,  that  allowed,  Benjie's  was 
a  gey  droll  one,  being  of  the  most  remackable  sort  of  a  shape 
ye  ever  saw  ;  but  what  is  more  to  the  purpose  both  here  and 
hereafter,  he  was  a  real  good-hearted  callant,  though  as 
gleg  as  a  hawk  and  as  sharp  as  a  needle.  Every  body  that 
had  the  smallest  gumption  prophesied  that  he  would  be  a 
real  clever  one ;  nor  could  we  grudge  that  we  took  pains  in. 
his  rearing — he  having  been  like  a  sucking-turkey,  or  a  hot- 
house plant,  from  far  away,  delicate  in  the  constitution^- 
when  we  saw  that  the  debt  was  likely  to  be  paid  with  bank- 
interest,  and  that,  by  his  uncommon  cleverality,  the  callant 
was  to  be  a  credit  to  our  family. 

Many  and  long  were  the  debates  between  his  fond  mother 
and  me,  what  trade  we  would  breed  him  up  to  ;  for  the  mat- 
ter now  became  serious,  Benjie  being  in  his  thirteenth  year ; 
and,  though  a  wee  bowed  in  the  near  leg,  from  a  suppleness 
about  his  knee-joint,  nevertheless  as  active  as  a  hatter,  and 
fit  for  any  calling  whatsoever  under  the  sun.  One  thing  I 
had  determined  in  my  own  mind,  and  that  was,  that  he  should 
never  with  my  will  go  abroad.  The  gentry  are  no  doubt 
philosophers  enough  to  bring  up  their  bairns  like  sheep  to 
the  slaughter,  and  despatch  them  as  cadies  to  Bengal  and 
the  Cape  of  Good  Hope,  as  soon  as  they're  grown  up ; 
when,  lo  and  behold,  the  first  news  they  hear  of  them  is  in 
a  letter,  sealed  with  black  wax,  telling  how  they  died  of  the 
liver  complaint,  and  were  buried  by  six  blacks  two  hours 
after.  * 

That  was  one  thing  settled  and  sealed,  so  no  more  need 
18 


206  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCII. 

be  said  about  it ;  yet,  notwithstanding  of  Nanse's  being 
satisfied  that  the  spaewife  was  a  deceitful  gipsy,  perfectly- 
untrustworthy,  she  would  aye  have  a  finger  in  the  pie,  and 
try  to  persuade  me  in  a  coaxing  way.  "  I  'in  sure,"  she 
would  say,  "  ane  with  half  an  ee  may  see  that  our  son 
Benjie  has  just  the  physog  of  an  admiral.  It's  a  great  shame 
contradicting  nature." 

u  Po,  po,"  answered  I,  "  woman,  ye  dinna  ken  whatye're 
saying.  Do  ye  imagine  that,  if  he  were  made  a  sea-admiral, 
we  could  ever  live  to  have  any  comfort  in  the  son  of  our 
bosom  ?  Would  he  not,  think  ye,  be  obliged  with  his  ship 
to  sail  the  salt  seas,  through  foul  weather  and  fair  ;  and, 
"when  he  met  the  French, to  light,  hack,  and  hew  them  down, 
lith  and  limb,  with  grape  shot , and  cutlass  ;  till  some  unfor- 
tunate day  or  oth*  r,  after  having  lost  a  leg  and  an  arm  in  the 
service,  he  is  felled  as  dead  as  a  door-nail,  wi'  a  cut  and 
thrust  over  the  crown,  by  some  furious  rascal  that  saw  he 
was  off  his  guard,  glowring  wi'  his  blind  ee  another  way  ? — 
Ye  speak  haivers,  Nanse ;  what  are  a'  the  honours  of  this 
world  worth  ?  No  worth  this  pinch  of  snuff  1  have  between 
my  finger  and  thumb — no  worth  a  bodle,  if  we  never  saw 
our  Benjie  again,  but  he  was  aye  ranging  and  rampaging  far 
abroad,  shedding  human  blood  ;  and  when  we  could  only 
aye  dream  about  him  in  our  sleep,  as  one  that  was  wandering 
night  and  day  blindfold,  down  the  long,  dark,  lampless  avenue 
of  destruction,  and  destined  never  more  to  visit  Dalkeith 
again,  except  with  a  wooden  stump  and  a  brass  virl,  or  to 
have  his  head  blown  off  his  shoulders,  mast  high,  like  ingaji 
peelings,  with  some  exploding  earthquake  of  combustible 
gunpowder. — Ca'  in  the  laddie,  I  say,  and  see  what  he  wad 
iike  to  be  himsell." 

Nanse  ran  but  the  house,  and  straightway  brought  Benjie, 
who  was  playing  at  the  bools,  ben  by  the  lug  and  horn.  I 
had  got  a  glass,  so  my  spirit  was  up.  "Stand  there,"  I 
said  ;  u  Benjie,  look  me  in  the  face,  and  tell  me  what  trade 
ye  would  like  to  be." 

"  Trade  ?"  answered  Benjie,  "  I  would  like  to  be  a 
gentleman." 

Dog  on  it,  it  was  more  than  I  could  thole,  and  I  saw  that 
his  mother  had  spoiled  him  ;  so,  though  I  aye  liked  to  give 
him  wholesome  reproof  rather  than  lift  my  hand,  I  broke 
through  this  rule  in  a  couple  of  hurries,  and  gave  him  such 
a  yerk  in  the  cheek  with  the  loof  of  my  hand,  as  made,  I'm 


BENJIE    ON   THE   CARrET.  207 

sure,  his  lungs  ring,  and  sent  him  dozing  to  the  door  like  a 
peerie. 

"  Ye  see  that,"  said  T,  as  the  laddie  went  ben  the  house 
whinging  ;  l<  ye  see  what  a  kettle  o'  fish  ye  have  made  o  't !" 

"  a  eel,  weel,"  answered  Nanse,  a  wee  startled  by  my 
strong,  decisive  way  of  managing,  "  ye  ken  best,  and,  I 
fancy,  maun  tak1  the  matter  your  ain  way.  But  ye  can  hae 
nae  earthly  objection  to  making  him  a  lawer's  advocatt  ?" 

u  I  wad  see  him  hanged  first,"  answered  1.  "  What!  do 
you  imagine  J  would  set  a  son  of  mine  to  be  a  sherry- offisher, 
ganging  about  rampaging  through  the  country,  taking  up 
fiefs  and  robbers,  and  suspicious  characters  wf  wauf  looks 
an d  waur  claes  ;  exposed  to  all  manner  of  evil  communica- 
tion from  bad  company,  in  the  way  o'  business  ;  and  rouping 
out  puir  creatures  that  canna  find  wherewithal  to  pay  their 
lawful  debts,  at  the  Cross,  by  warrant  o'  the  Sherry,  wi'  an 
auld  chair  in  ae  hand,  and  an  eevery  hammer  in  the  ither, 
Siccan  a  sight  wad  be  the  death  o'  me." 

"  What  think  ye  then  o'  the  preaching  line  ?"  asked  Nanse, 

"The  preaching  line!"  quo'  I — "  No,  no,  that'll  never 
do.  Not  that  I  want  respect  for  ministers,  who  are  the  ser- 
vants of  the  Most  High  ;  but  the  truth  is',  that  unless  ye  have 
great  friends  and  patronage  of  the  like  of  the  Duke  down 
by,  or  the  Marquis  of  Lothian  up  by,  or  sic  like,  ye  may 
preach  yoursell  as  hoarse  as  a  corbie,  from  June  to  January, 
before  one  body  will  say,  u  hae,  puir  man,  there  rs  a  kirk.5 
And  if  no  kirk  casts  up — which  is  mair  nor  likely  —what  can 
a  young  probationer  turn  his  hand  to  ?  He  has  learned  no 
trade,  so  he  can  neither  work  nor  want.  He  daurria  dig  nor 
delve,  even  though  he  were  able,  or  he  would  be  hauled  by 
the  cuff  of  the  neck  before  his  betters  in  the  General  Assem- 
bly, for  having  the  impudence  to  go  for  to  be  so  bold  as 
dishonour  the  cloth  ;  and  though  he  may  get  his  bit  orra 
half-a-guinea  whiles,  for  holding  forth  in  some  bit  country 
kirk,  tov  a  wheen  shepherds  and  their  dogs,  when  the  minister 
himsell,  staring  with  the  fat  of  gude  living  and  little  wark, 
is  lying  ill  of  a  bile  fever,  or  has  the  gout  in  his  muckle  tae, 
yet  he  has  aye  the  miseries  of  uncertainty  to  encounter,  his 
coat  grows  bare  in  the  cuffs,  greasy  in  the  neck,  and  brown 
between  the  shouthers  ;  his  jaw-bones  get  long  and  lank,  his 
een  sunk,  and  his  head  crray  wi'  vexation,  and  what  the  wise 
Solomon  calls  w  hope  deferred  ;'  so  at  long  and  last,  friend- 
lass  and  pennyless,  he  takes  the  incurable  complaint  of  a 


20B  LIFE  OF   JttANSIE   WAITCH. 

broken  heart,  and  is  buried  out  of  the  gate,  in  some  bit 
strange  corner  of  the  kirk-yard." 

"  Stop,  stop,  gudeman,"  cried  Nanse,  half  greeting. 
"  that's  an  awfu'  business ;  but  I  daursay  it's  ower  true.  But 
mightna  we  breed  him  a  doctor?  It  seems  they  have  unco 
profits;  and,  as  he's  sae  clever,  he  might  come  to  be  a 
graduit." 

"  Doctor !"  answered  I — "Kay,  kay,  let  that  flee  stick  i} 
the  wa' ;  it's  a'  ye  ken  about  it.  If  ye  was  only  aware  of 
what  doctors  bad  to  do  and  see,  between  d wining  weans  and 
crying  wives,  ye  would  have  thought  twice  before  ye  let 
that  out.  How  do  ye  think  our  callant  has  a  heart  within 
him  to  look  at  folk  blooding  like  sheep,  or  to  sew  up  cutted 
throats  with  a  silver  needle  and  silk  thread,  as  I  would  stitch 
a  pair  of  trowsers ;  or  to  trepan  out  pieces  of  cloured  skulls, 
filling  up  the  hole  with  an  iron  plate ;  and  pull  teeth,  may  be 
the  only  ones  left,  out  of  auld  women's  heads,  and  so  on,  to 
say  nothing  of  rampaging  with  dark  lanterns,  and  double- 
tweel  dreadnoughts,  about  gousty  kirk-yards,  among  hum- 
lock  and  long  nettles,  the  haill  night  over,  like  spunkie — 
shoving  the  dead  corpses,  winding  sheets  and  all,  into  corn- 
sacks,  and  boiling  their  bones,  after  they  have  dissected  a* 
the  red  flesh  orT  them,  into  a  big  caudron,  to  get  out  the 
marrow  to  make  drogs  of?" 

"  Eh,  stop,  stop,  Mansie  !"  cried  Nanse,  holding  up  her 
hands. 

"  Na,"  continued  T,  "  but  it's  a  true  bill — it 's  as  true  as 
ye  are  sitting  there.  And  do  ye  think  that  any  earthly 
compensation,  either  gowpins  of  gowd  by  way  of  fees,  or 
yellow  chariots  to  ride  in,  with  a  black  servant  sticking  up 
behind,  like  a  sign  over  a  tobacconist's  door,  can  ever  make 
up  for  the  loss  of  a  man  's  having  all  his  feelings  seared  to 
iron,  and  his  soul  made  into  whinstone,  yea,  into  the  nether- 
millstone,  by  being  art  and  part  in  sic  dark  and  devilish 
abominations  ?  Go  away  wi'  siccan  downright  nonsense. 
Hearken  to  my  words,  Nanse,  my  dear.  The  happiest  man 
is  he  that  can  live  quietly  and  soberly  on  the  earnings  of  his 
industry,  pays  his  day  and  way,  works  not  only  to  win  the 
bread  of  life  for  his  wife  and  weans,  but  because  he  kens 
that  idleset  is  sinful,  keeps  a  pure  heart  towards  God  and 
man;  and,  caring  not  for  the  fashion  of  this  world,  departs 
from  it  in  the  hope  of  going,  through  the  merits  of  his  Re- 
deemer, to  a  better." 


BENJIE    ON   THE   C  AH  PET.  209 

M  Ye  are  right  after  a',"  said  Nanse,  giving  me  a  pat  on 
the  shouther  ;  and  finding  who  was  her  master  as  well  as 
spouse — "  111  wad  it  become  me  to  gang  for  to  gie  advice 
to  my  betters-  Tak'  your  will  of  the  business,  gudeman  ; 
and  if  ye  dinna  mak'  him  an  Admiral,  just  make  him  what 
ye  like." 

Now  is  the  time,  thought  I  to  myself,  to  carry  my  point, 
finding  the  drappikie  I  had  taken  with  Donald  t\J>Naughton, 
in  settling  his  account  for  the  green  Jacket,  still  working  in 
my  noddle,  and  giving  me  a  power  of  words  equal  to  Mr. 
Blouster,  the  Cameronian  preacher, — now  is  the  time,  for  I 
still  saw  the  unleavened  pride  of  womankind  wambling 
within  her,  like  a  serpent  that  has  got  a  knock  on  the  pow, 
and  been  cast  down  but  not  destroyed  ;  so,  taking  a  hearty 
snufFout  of  my  box,  and  drawing  it  up  first  one  nostril,  then 
another,  syne  dighting  my  finger  and  thumb  on  my  breek- 
knees,  "  What  think  ye,"  said  I,  "  of  a  sweep  ?  Were  it 
not  for  getting  their  faces  blacked  like  savages,  a  sweep  is 
not  such  a  bad  trade  after  a' ;  though,  to  be  sure,  going 
down  lums  six  stories  high,  head  foremost,  and  landing  upon 
the  soles  of  their  feet  upon  the  hearth-stone,  like  a  kittlin,  is 
no  just  so  pleasant."  Ye  observe,  it  was  only  to  throw 
cold  water  on  the  unthrifty  flame  of  a  mother's  pride  that  I 
said  this,  and  to  pull  down  uppishness  from  its  heathenish 
temple  in  the  heart,  head  foremost.  So  I  looked  to  her,  to 
hear  how  she  would  come  on. 

"  Haivers,  haivers,"  said  Nanse,  birsing  up  like  a  cat  be- 
fore a  colley.  "  Sweep,  say  ye  ?  I  would  sooner  send  him 
up  vvi'  Lunardi  to  the  man  of  the  moon ;  or  see  him  ban- 
ished, shackled  neck  and  heels,  to  Botany  Bay." 

"  A  weel,  a  weel,"  answered  f,  "  what  notion  have  ye  of 
the  packman  line  ?  We  could  fill  his  box  with  needles  and 
prins,  and  tape,  and  hanks  of  worsted,  and  penny  thimbles, 
at  a  small  expense  ;  and,  putting  a  stick  in  his  hand,  send 
him  abroad  into  the  wide  world  to  push  his  fortune." 

The  wife  looked  dumfoundered.  Howsoever — "  Or 
breed  him  a  rowley-poley  man,"  continued  I,  "  to  trail  about 
the  country  frequenting  fairs  ;  and  dozing  thro'  the  streets 
selling  penny  cakes  to  weans,  out  of  a  basket  slung  round 
the  neck  with  a  leather  strap,  and  parliaments,  and  quality, 
brown  and  white,  and  snaps  well  peppered,  and  gingerbread 
nits,  and  so  on.  The  trade  is  no  a  bad  ane,  if  creatures 
would  only  learn  to  be  careful." 
18* 


210  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

"  Mansie  Wauch,  Mansie  Wauch,  hae  ye  gane  out  o 
yere  wuts  ?"  cried  Nanse, — "  are  ye  really  serious  Vs 

I  saw  what  I  was  about,  so  went  on  without  pretending 
to  mind  her.— "  Or  what  say  ye  to  a  penny-pie  man  ?  ITegs, 
it 's  a  cozy  birth,  and  ane  that  gars  the  cappers  birl  down._ 
What 's  the  expense  of  a  bit  daigh,  half  an  ounce  weight," 
pirled  round  wi*  the  knuckles  into  a  case,  and  filled  half  full 
o'  salt  and  water,  wi'  twa  or  three  nips  o'  braxy  floating 
about  in  *t  ?  Just  naething  ava  ; — and  consider  on  a  winter 
night,  when  ice-shockles  are  hinging  from  the  tiles,  and 
stomachs  relish  what  is  warm  and  lasty  ;  what  a  sale  they 
can  get,  if  they  go  about  jingling  their  little  bell,  and  keep 
the  genuine  article  !  Then  ye  ken  in  the  afternoon,  he  can 
show  that  he  has  two  strings  to  his  bow  ;  and  have  a  wheen 
cookies,  either  new  baked  for  ladies'  tea-parties,  or  the  yes- 
terday's auld  shopkeepers'  het  up  i'  the  oven  again, — which 
is  all  to  ae  purpose." 

"  Are  ye  really  in  your  seven  natural  senses, — or  can  I 
believe  my  ain  een  ? — I  could  almost  imagine  some  warlock 
had  thrown  glamour  into  them,"  said  Nanse,  staring  me 
broad  in  the  face. 

"Take  a  good  look,  gudewife,  for  seeing's  believing," 
quo*  I  ;  and  then  continued,  without  drawing  breath  or  bri- 
dle, at  full  birr — 

"  Or  if  the  baking  line  does  not  please  ye,  what  say  ye  to 
binding  Tiirn  regularly  to  a  man-cook?  There  he'll  see 
life  in  all  its  variorums.  Losh  keep  us  a',  what  an  insight 
into  the  secrets  of  roasting,  brandering,  frying,  boiling, 
baking,  and  brewing — nicking  of  geese's  craigs — hacking 
the  necks  of  dead  chickens,  and  cutting  out  the  tongues  of 
leeving  turkeys.  Then  what  a  steaming  o*  fat  soup  in  the 
nostrils !  and  siccan  a  collection  o'  fine  smells,  as  would 
persuade  a  man  that  he  could  fill  his  stomach  thr6'  his  nose  ! 
No  weather  can  reach  such  cattle  :  it  may  be  a  storm  of 
snow,  twenty  feet  deep,  or  an  even-down  pour  of  rain, 
washing  the  very  cats  oflfthe  house  tops  ;  when  a  weaver  is 
shivering  at  his  loom,  with  not  a  drop  of  blood  at  fiis  finger 
nails,  and  a  tailor  like  myself,  so  numb  with  cauld,  that,  in- 
stead of  driving  the  needle  thro'  the  claith,  he  brogs  it  thro' 
his  ain  thumb — then,  fient  a  hair  care  they  :  but,  standing 
beside  a  ranting,  roaring,  parrot-coal  fire,  in  a  white  apron, 
and  a  gingham  jacket,  they  pour  sauce  out  of  ae  pan  into 
another,  to  suit  the  taste  of  my  lord  this,  and  my  lady  that? 


BENJIE   ON   THE   CARPET.  211 

turning,  by  their  legerdemain,  fish  into  fowl,  and  fowl  into 
flesh  ;  till,  in  the  lung  run,  man,  woman,  and  wean,  a'  chew 
and  champ  away,  without  kenning  more  what  they  are  eat- 
ing than  ye  ken  the  day  ye '11  dee,  or  whether  the  Witch  of 
Endor  wore  a  demity  falderal,  or  a  manco  petticoat." 

"  Weel,"  cried  r^pmse,  half  rising  to  go  ben  the,  house, 
"  I  '11  sit  nae  langer  to  hear  ye  gabbling  nonsense  like  a 
magpie.  Mak  Beujie  what  ye  like;  but  ye '11  mak  me 
greet  the  een  out  o'  my  head." 

"  Hooly  and  fairly,"  said  1  ;  "  Nanse,  sit  still  like  a 
woman,  and  hear  me  out  ;"  so,  giving  her  a  pat  on  the 
shoulder,  she  sat  her  ways  down,  and  I  resumed  my  discourse. 

"  YeVe  heard,  gudewife,  from  Benjie's  own  mouth,  that 
he  has  made  up  his  mind  to  follow  out  the  trade  of  a  gen- 
tleman ; — who  has  put  such  outrageous  notions  in  his  head 
I  'm  su/e  1  '11  not  pretend  to  guess  at.  Having  never  myself 
being  above  daily  bread,  and  constant  work—  when  1  could 
get  it — I  dare  not  presume  to  speak  from  experience  ;  but 
this  I  can  say,  from  having  some  acquaintances  m  the  line, 
that,  of  all  easy  lives,  commend  me  to  that  of  a  gentleman's 
gentleman.  It's  true  he's  caaM  a  flunky,  which  does  not 
sound  quite  the  thing  ;  but  what  of  that  ?  what's  in  a  name  ? 
pugh !  it  does  not  signify  a  bawbee — no,  nor  that  pinch  of 
snuff:  for,  if  we  descend  to  particulars,  we're  all  flunkies 
together,  except  his  Majesty  on  the  throne.  Then  William 
Pitt  is  his  flunky—  and  half  of  the  House  of  Commons  are 
his  flunkies,  doing  what  he  bids  them,  right  or  wrong,  and 
no  daring  to  disobey  orders,  not  for  the  hair  in  their  heads 
— then  the  Earl  waits  on  my  Lord  Duke — Sir  Something 
waits  on  my  Lord  Somebody—and  his  tenant,  Mr.  so  and 
so,  waits  on  him— and  Mr.  so  and  so  has  his  butler  -  and 
the  butler  has  his  flunky — and  the  shoeblack  brushes  the 
flunky's  jacket — and  so  on.  We  all  hang  at  one  another's 
tails  like  a  rope  of  ingans  so  ye  observe,  that  any  such  ob- 
jection, in  the  sight  of  a  philosopher  like  our  Benjie,  would 
not  weigh  a  straw's  weight. 

"  Then  consider,  for  a  moment, — just  consider,  gudewife, 
what  company  a  flunky  is  every  day  taken  tip  with,  standing 
behind  the  chairs,  and  helping  to  clean  plates  and  porter  ; 
and  the  manners  he  cannot  help  learning,  if  he  is  in  the 
smallest  gleg  in  the  uptake,  so  that,  when  out  of  livery,  it  is 
the  toss  up  of  a  halfpenny  whether  ye  find  out  the  difference 
between  the  man  and  the  master.    He  learns,  in  fact,  every 


212  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAI7CH, 

thing.  He  learns  French, — he  learns  dancing,  in  all  its 
branches, — -he  learns  how  to  give  boots  the  finishing  polish, 
— he  learns  how  to  play  at  cards,  as  if  he  had  been  born 
and  bred  an  Earl, — he  learns,  from  pouring  the  bottles,  the 
names  of  every  wine  brewed  abroad, — he  learns  how  to 
brush  a  coat,  so  that,  after  six  months'  tear  and  wear,  one 
without  spectacles  would  imagine  it  bad  only  gotten  the 
finishing  stitch  on  the  Saturday  night  before  ;  and  he  learns 
to  play  on  the  flute,  and  the  spinnet,  and  the  piano,  and  the 
fiddle,  and  the  bagpipes  ;  and  to  sing  all  manner  of  songs, 
and  to  skirl,  full  gallop,  with  such  a  pith  and  birr,  that 
though  he  was  to  lose  his  precious  eye-sight  with  the  small- 
pox, or  a  flash  of  forked  lightning,  or  fall  down  a  three-story 
stair  dead  drunk,  and  smash  his  legs  to  such  a  degree  that 
both  of  them  required  to  be  cut  off;  above  the  knees,  half 
an  hour  after,  so  far  all  right  and  well — for  he  could  just 
tear  off  his  shouther-knot,  and  make  a  perfect  fortune — in 
the  one  case,  in  being  led  from  door  to  door  by  a  ragged 
laddie,  with  a  string  at  the  button-hole,  playing,  t  Ower  the 
Border,'  l  The  Hen's  March,'  fc  Donald  M'Donald,'  «•  Jenny 
Nettles,'  and  such  like  grand  tunes,  on  the  clarinet  ;  or,  in 
the  other  case,  being  drawn  from  town  to  town,  and  from 
door  to  door,  on  a  hurdle,  like  a  lord,  harnessed  to  four  dogs 
of  all  colours,  at  the  rate  ot  two  miles  in  the  hour,  exclusive 
of  stoppages. — What  say  ye,  gudewife  V* 

Nanse  gave  a  mournful  look,  as  if  she  was  frighted  I  had 
grown  demented,  and  only  said,"  Tak'  your  ain  way,  gude- 
man  ;  ye  'se  get  your  ain  way  for  me,  I  fancy." 

Seeing  her  in  this  Christian  state  of  resignation,  I  deter- 
mined at  once  to  hit  the  nail  on  the  head,  and  put  an  end 
to  the  whole  business  as  I  intended.  u  Now,  Nanse,"  quo"' 
I,  il  to  come  to  close  quarters  wi'  ye,  tell  me  candidly  and 
seriously  what  ye  think  of  a  barber  ?  Every  one  must  allow 
it 's  a  canny  and  cozie  trade  " 

"  A  barber  that  shaves  beards  !"  said  Nanse.  "  'Od, 
Mansie,  ye 're  surely  gaun  gyte.  Ye  're  surely  joking  me  ar 
the  time  ?" 

"  Joking!"  answered  I,  smoothing" down  my  chin,  which 
was  geyan  rough,— "  joking  here  or  joking  there,  I  should 
not  think  the  settling  of  an  only  bairn  in  an  honourable  way 
o'  doing  for  all  the  days  of  his  natural  life,  is  any  joking 
business.  Ye  dinna  ken  what  ye 're  saying,  woman.  Bar- 
bers !  i'fegs,  to  turn  up  your  nose  at  barbers  ;  did  ever  living 


BENJIE   ON   THE   CARPET.  2 IS 

hear  such  nonsense  ;  but,  to  be  sure,  one  can  blame  nobody 
if  they  speak  to  the  best  of  their  experience  I  *ve  heard 
tell  of  barbers,  woman,  about  London,  that  rode  up  this 
street,  and  down  that  other  street,  in  coaches  and  ..four, 
jumping  out  to  every  one  that  halloo'd  to  them,  sharping 
razors  both  on  stone  and  itrap,  at  the  ransom  of  a  penny  the 
pair;  and  shaving  off  men's  beards,  whiskers  and  all,  stoop 
and  roop,  for  a  three  ha'-pence.  Speak  of  barbers  !  it's  all 
ye  ken  about  it.  Commend  me  to  a  safe  employment,  and 
a  profitable.  They  may  give  others  a  tuck,  and  draw  blood, 
but  catch  them  hurting  themselves.  They  are  not  exposed 
to  colds  and  rheumatics,  from  east  winds  and  rainy  weather  ; 
for  they  sit,  in  white  aprons,  plaiting  hair  into  wigs  for  auld 
folks  that  have  bell-pows,  or  making  false  curls  for  ladies 
that  would  fain  like  to  look  smart  in  the  course  of  nature. 
And  then  they  go  from  house  to  house,  like  gentlemen,  in 
the  morning  ;  cracking  with  Maister  this,  or  Madam  that, 
as  they  soap  their  chins  with  scented-soap,  or  put  their  hair 
up  in  marching  order  either  for  kirk  or  playhouse.  Then, 
at  their  leisure,  when  they  *re  not  thrang  at  home,  they  can 
pare  corns  to  the  gentry,  or  give  plowmen's  heads  the  bicker 
cut  for  a  penny,  and  the  hair  into  the  bargain,  for  stuffing 
chairs  with  ;  and  between  us,  who  knows — many  a  rottener 
ship  has  come  to  land — but  that  some  genty  Miss,  fond  of 
plays,  poems,  and  novels,  may  fancy  our  Benjie,  when  he  is 
giving  her  red  hair  a  twist  with  the  torturing  irons,  and  run 
away  with  him,  almost  whether  he  will  or  not,  in  a  stound 
of  unbearable  love!" 

Here  making  an  end  of  my  discourse,  and  halting  to  draw 
breath,  I  looked  Nanse  broad  in  the  face,  as  much  as  to  say, 
"  Contradict  me  if  you  dam,"  and,  "  What  think  ye  of  that 
now  ?■" — The  man  is  not  worth  his  lugs  that  allows  his  wife 
to  be  maister  ;  and  being  by  all  laws,  divine  and  human,  the 
head  of  the  house,  I  aye  made  a  rule  of  keeping  my  putt  good. 
To  be  candid,  however,  1  must  take  leave  to  confess,  that 
Nanse  being  a  reasonable  woman,  gave  me  but  few  oppor- 
tunities of  exerting  my  authority  in  this  way.  As  in  other 
matters,  she  soon  came,  on  reflection,  to  see  the  propriety  of 
what  1  had  been  saying  and  setting  forth.  Besides,  she  had 
such  a  motherly  affection  towards  our  bit  callant,  that  sending 
him  abroad  would  have  been  the  death  of  her. 

To  be  sure,  since  these  days — which,  alas  and  wo's  me  ! 
are  not  yesterday  now,  as  my  gray  hair  and  wrinkled  brow 


214  LIFE    OF   MANSIE   WAUCH. 

but  too  visibly  remind  me — such  ups  and  downs  have  taken 
place  in  the  commercial  world,  that  the  barber  line  has  been 
clipped  of  its  profits  and  shaved  close,  from  patriotic  competi- 
tion among  its  members,  like  all  the  rest.  Among  other 
things,  hair- powder,  which  was  used  from  the  sweep  on  the 
lum-head  to  the  king  on  the  throne,  is  only  now  in  fashion 
with  Lords  of  Session,  and  valy-de  shambles  ;  and  pig-tails 
have  been  cut  off  from  the  face  of  the  earth,  root  and  branch, 
Nevertheless,  as  I  have  taken  occasion  to  make  observation, 
the  foundations  of  the  cutting  and  shaving  hne  are  as  sure  as 
that  of  the  everlasting  rocks  ;  beards  being  likely  to  roughen, 
and  heads  to  require  polling,  as  long  as  wood  grows  and 
water  runs. 


CHAPTER   XXIV, 

SERIOUS    MUSINGS. 

My  eyes  are  dim  with  childish  tear?, 

My  heart  is  idly  stirred, 
For  the  same  sound  is  in  mine  ears 

Which  in  those  days  I  heard. 
Thus  fares  it  still  in  our  decay  ; 

A:id  yet  the  wiser  mind 
Mourns  less  for  what  age  takes  away 

Than  what  it  leaves  behind. 

Wordsworth. 

After  consultation  with  friends,  and  much  serious  con- 
sideration on  such  a  momentous  subject,  it  having  been 
finally  settled  on  between  the  wife  and  myself  to  educate 
Benjie  to  the  barber  and  hair-cutting  line,  we  looked  round 
about  us  in  the  world  for  a  suitable  master  to  whom  we 
might  intrust  our  dear  laddie,  he  having  now  finished  his 
education,  and  reached  his  fourteenth  year. 

It  was  visible  in  a  twinkling  to  us  both  that  his  apprentice- 
ship could  not  be  gone  through  with  at  home,  in  that  first- 
rate  style  which  would  enable  him  to  reach  the  top  of  the  tree 
in  his  profession  ;  yet  it  gave  us  a  sore  heart  to  think  of  send- 
ing away,  at  so  tender  an  age,  one  who  was  so  dear  to  his 
mother  and  me,  and  whom  we  had,  as  it  were,  in  a  manner 
made  a  pet  of;  so  we  reckoned  it  best  to  article  him  for  a 


SERIOUS  MUSINGS.  215 

twelvemonth  with  Ebenezer  Packwoocl  at  the  corner,  before 
finally  sending  him  off  to  Edinburgh,  to  get  his  finishing  in 
the  wig,  false-curl,  and  hair-baking  department  under  Urqu- 
hart,  Maclaughlan,  or  Connal.  Accordingly,  I  sent  for  Eben 
to  come  and  eat  an  egg  with  me — matters  were  entered  upon 
and  arranged — Benjie  was  sent  on  trial ;  and,  though  at  first 
he  funked  and  fought  refractory,  he  came,  to  the  astonish- 
ment of  his  master  and  the  old  apprentice,  in  less  than  no 
time,  to  cut  hair  without  many  visible  shear-marks  ;  and, 
within  the  first  quarter,  succeeded,  without  so  much  as  draw- 
ing blood,  to  unbristle,  for  a  wager  of  his  master's,  the  Satur- 
day night's  countenance  of  Daniel  Shoebrush  himself,  who 
was  as  rough  as  a  badger. 

Having  thus  done  for  Benjie,  it  now  behooved  me  to  have 
an  eye  towards  myself;  for,  having  turned  the  corner  of 
manhood,  I  found  that  T  was  beginning  to  be  wearing  away 
down  the  hill-side  of  life.  Customers,  who  had  as  much 
faith  in  me  as  almost  in  their  Bible,  with  regard  to  everything 
connected  with  my  own  department,  and  who  could  depend  on 
their  cloth  being  cut  according  to  the  newest  and  most  ap- 
proved fashions,  began  now  and  then  to  return  a  coat  upon 
my  hand  for  alteration,  as  being  quite  out  of  date  ;  while  my 
daily  work,  to  which  in  the  days  of  other  years  I  had  got  up 
blithe  as  the  lark,  instead  of  being  a  pleasure,  came  to  be 
looked  forward  to  with  trouble  and  anxiety,  weighing  on  my 
heart  as  a  care,  and  on  my  shoulders  as  a  burden. 

Finding  but  too  severely  that  such  was  the  case,  and  that 
there  is  no  contending  with  the  course  of  nature,  I  took 
sweet  counsel  together  With  James  Batter  over  a  cup  of  tea 
and  a  cookie,  concerning  what  it  was  best  for  a  man  placed 
in  my  circumstances  to  betake  himself  to. 

As  industry  ever  has  its  own  reward,  let  me  without  brag 
or  boasting  be  allowed  to  state,  that,  in  my  own  case,  it  did 
not  disappoint  my  exertions.  I  had  sat  down  a  tenant,  and 
I  was  now  not  only  the  landlord  of  my  own  house  and  shop, 
'  but  of  all  the  back-tenements  to  the  head  of  the  garden,  as  also 
of  the  row  of  one-story  houses  behind,  facing  to  the  loan,  in 
the  centre  of  which  Lucky  Thompson  keeps  up  the  sign  of 
the  Tankard  and  Tappit  Hen.  It  was  also  a  relief  to  my 
mind,  as  the  head  of  my  family,  that  we  had  cut  Benjie  loose 
from  his  mother's  apron-string,  poorfellow,  and  set  him  adrift 
in  an  honest  way  of  doing  to  buffet  the  stormy  ocean  of  life  ; 


216  MFE   OF   MANSIE  WAUOH. 

so,  every  thing  considered,  it  was  found  that  enough  and  to 
spare  had  been  laid  past  by  Nanse  and  me  to  spend  the 
evening  of  our  days  by  the  lound  dykeside  of  domestic 
comfort. 

In  Tommy  Bodkin,  to  whom  1  trust  I  had  been  a  dutiful, 
as  I  know  I  was  an  honoured  master,  I  found  a  faithful  jour- 
neyman, he  having  served  me  in  that  capacity  for  nine  years  ; 
so  it  is  not  miraculous,  being  constantly  during  that  period 
under  my  attentive  eye,  that  he  was  now  quite  a  deacon  in 
all  the  departments  of  the  business.  As  an  eident  scholar 
he  had  his  reward ;  for  customers,  especially  during  the  latter 
years,  when  my  sight  was  scarcely  so  good,  came  at  length 
to  be  not  very  scrupulous  as  to  whether  their  cloth  was  cut 
by  the  man  or  his  master.  ISever  let  filial  piety  be  over- 
looked : — when  I  first  patronized  Tommy  and  promoted  him 
to  the  dignity  of  sitting  cross  legged  along  with  me  on  the 
working-board,  he  was  a  hatless  and  shoeless  raggamuffin, 
the  orphan  lad  of  a  widowed  mother,  whose  husband  had 
been  killed  by  a  chain-shot,  which  carried  off  his  head,  at 
the  bloody  battle  of  the  Nile^  under  Lord  Nelson.  Tommy 
was  the  oldest  of  four,  and  the  other  three  were  lasses,  that 
knew  not  in  the  morning  where  the  day's  providing  was  to 
come  from,  except  by  trust  in  him  who  sent  the  ravens  to 
Elijah.  By  allowing  Tommy  a  trifle  for  board-wages,  I  was 
enabled  to  add  my  mite  to  the  comforts  of  the  family,  for  he 
was  kind,  frugal,  and  dutiful,  and  would  willingly  share  with 
them  to  the  last  morsel.  In  the  course  of  a  tew  years  he 
became  his  mother's  bread-winner^  the  lasses  being  sent  to 
service.  I  myself  having  recommended  one  of  them  to 
Deacon  Burlings,  and  another  to  Springheel  the  dancing- 
master  ;  retaining  Katie,  the  youngest,  for  ourselves,  to 
manage  the  kitchen,  and  go  messages  when  required. 

Providence  having  thus  ^lessed  Tommy's  efforts  in  the 
paths  of  industrious  sobriety,  what  could  I  do  better — James 
Batter  being  exactly  of  the  same  opinion — than  make  him 
my  successor,  giving  him  the  shop  at  a  cheap  rent,  the  stock 
in  trade  at  a  moderate  valuation,  and  the  good  will  of  the 
business  as  a  gratis  gift. 

Having  recommended  Tommy  to  public  patronage  and 
support,  he  is  now,  as  all  the  world  knows,  a  thriving  man  ; 
nor,  from  Berwick  Bridge  to  Johnny  Groat's,  is  it  in  the 
power  of  any  gentleman  to  have  his  coat  cut  in  a  more  fash- 


SERIOUS   MUSINOS.  211 

ionable  way,  or  on  more'  moderate  terms,  than  at  the  sign 
of  the  Goose  and  the  Pair  of  Shears  rampant. 

Leaving  Tommy  to  take  care  of  his  own  matters,  as  he  is 
well  able  to  do,  allow  me  to  observe,  that  it-  i3  curious  how 
habit  becomes  a  second  nature*  and  how  the  breaking  in 
upon  the  ways  we  have  been  long  and  long  accustomed  to 
through  the  days  of  the  years  that  are  past,  is  as  the  cutting 
asunder  of  the  joints  and  marrow.  This  I  found  bitterly, 
even  though  '  had  the  prospect  before  me  of  spending  my 
old  age  in  peace  and  plenty.  I  could  not  think  of  leaving 
my  auid  house — every  room,  every  nook  in  it  was  familiar 
to  my  heart.  The  garden  trees  seemed  to  wave  their 
branches  sorrowfully  over  my  head,  as  bidding  me  farewell ; 
and  when  1  saw  all  the  scraighing  hens  catched  out  of  the 
hen-house  I  had  twenty  years  before  built  and  tiled  with  my 
own  hands,  and  tumbled  into  a  sack,  to  be  carried  on  limping 
Jock  Dalgleish's  back  up  to  our  new  abode  at  Lugton,  my 
heart  swelled  to  my  mouth,  and  the  mist  of  gushing  tears 
bedimrned  my  eye-sight.  Four  of  Thomas  Burlings'  flour 
carts  stood  laden  before  the  door  with  our  furniture,  on  the 
top  of  which  were  three  of  Nanse's  grand  geraniums  in 
flower-pots,  with  five  of  my  walking  sticks  tied  together 
with  a  string  ;  and,  as  T  paced  through  the  empty  rooms, 
where  I  had  passed  so  many  pleasant  and  happy  hours,  the 
sound  of  my  feet  on  the  bare  floor  seemed  in  my  ears  like 
an  echo  from  the  grave.  On  our  road  to  Lugton  I  could 
scarcely  muster  common  sense  to  answer  a  person  who 
wished  us  a  good  day  ;  and  Nanse,  as  we  daundered  on, 
arm-in-arm,  never  once  took  her  napkin  from  her  een.  Oh, 
but  it  was  a  weary  business ! 

Being  in  this  sober  frame  of  mind,  allow  me  to  wind  up 
this  chapter  —the  last  catastrophe  of  my  eventful  life  that  I 
mean  at  present  to  make  public — with  a  few  serious  reflec- 
tions ;  as  it  fears  me,  that,  in  much  of  what  I  have  set  down, 
ill-natured  people  may  see  a  good  deal  scarcely  consistent 
with  my  character  for  douceness  and  circumspection  ;  but 
if  many  wonderfuls  have  fallen  to  my  share,  it  would  be  well 
to  remember,  that  a  man's  lot  is  not  of  his  own  making. 

Musing  within  myself  on  tf\e  chances  and  changes  of  timet 

the  uncertainties  of  life,  the  frail  thread  by  which  we  are 

tacked  to  this  world,  and  how  the  place  that  now  knows  us 

shall  soon  know  us  no  more,  I  could  not  help,  for  two  or 

19 


218  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WAUCH. 

three  days  previous  to  my  quitting  my  dear  old  house  and 
shop,  taking  my  stick  into  my  hand,  and  wandering  about 
all  my  old  haunts  and  houffs — and  need  I  mention  that 
among  these  were  the  road  down  to  the  Duke's  south-gate 
with  the  deers  on't,  the  water  side  by  Woodburn,  the  Cow- 
brigg,  up  the  back  street,  through  the  flesh-market,  and  over 
to  the  auld-kirk  in  among  the  headstones.  For  three  walks, 
on  three  different  days,  I  set  out  in  different  directions  ;  yet, 
strange  to  say  !  I  aye  landed  in  the  kirkyard  : — and  where 
is  the  man  of  woman  born  proud  enough  to  brag,  that  it 
shall  not  be  his  fate  to  land  there  at  last  ? 

Headstones  and  headstones  around  me !  some  newly  put 
up,  and  others  mossy  and  gray  ;  it  was  an  humbling  yet  an 
edifying  sight,  preaching,  as  forcibly  as  ever  Maister  Wiggie 
did  in  his  best  days,  of  the  vanity  and  the  passingness  of  all 
human  enjoyments.  Mouldered  to  dust  beneath  the  turfs 
lay  the  blythe  laddies  with  whom  1  have  a  hundred  times 
played  merry  games  on  moonlight  nights  ;  some  were  soon 
cut  off;  others  grew  up  to  their  full  estate  ;  and  there  stood 
I,  a  gray-haired  man,  among  the  weeds  and  nettles,  mourn- 
ing over  times  never  to  return  ! 

The  reader  will  no  doubt  be  anxious  to  hear  a  few  words 
regarding  my  son  Benjie,  who  has  turned  out  just  as  his 
friends  and  the  world  expected.  After  his  time  with  Ebe- 
nezer  Packwood  in  Dalkeith,  he  served  for  four  years  in 
Edinburgh,  where  he  cut  a  distinguished  figure,  having 
shaved  and  shorn  lots  of  the  nobility  and  gentry  ;  among 
whom  was  a  French  duchess,  and  many  other  foreigners  of 
distinction.  In  short,  nothing  went  down  at  the  principal 
hotels  but  Mr.  Benjamin  the  barber  ;  and,  had  he  been  so 
disposed,  he  could  have  commenced  on  his  own  footing, 
with  every  chance  of  success  ;  but  knowing  himself  fully 
young,  and  being  anxious  to  see  more  of  the  world  before 
settling,  he  took  out  a  passage  in  one  of  the  Leith  smacks, 
and  set  sail  for  London,  where  he  arrived,  after  a  safe  and 
prosperous  voyage,  without  a  hair  of  his  head  injured.  The 
only  thing  that  1  am  ashamed  to  let  out  about  him  is,  that  he 
is  now,  and  has  been  for  some  time  past,  principal  shopman 
in  a  Wallflower,  Hair-powder,  and  Genuine  Macassar  Oil 
Warehouse,  kept  by  three  Frenchmen,  called  Moosies  Pe- 
roukey. 

But,  though  our  natural  enemies,  he  writes  me,  that  he 


CONCLUSION.  219 

lias  found  them  agreeable  and  chatty  masters,  full  of  good 
manners,  and  pleasant  discourse,  first  rate  in  their  articles* 
and  except  in  their  language,  almost  Christians. 

I  aye  thought  Benjie  was  a  genius  ;  and  he  is  beginning 
to  show  himself  his  father's  son,  being  in  thoughts  of  taking 
out  a  patent  for  making  hair-oil  from  rancid  butter.  If  he 
succeeds  it  will  make  the  callant's  fortune.  But  he  must 
not  marry  Mademoiselle^Peroukey  without  my  especial  con- 
sent, as  Nanse  says,  that  her  having  a  Frenchwoman  for  her 
daughter-in-law  would  be  the  death  of  her. 


CONCLUSION. 

He  prayeth  well,  who  loveth  well 
Both  man,  and  bird,  and  beast. — 
He  nrayeth  best,  who  loveth  best 
All  things  both  great  aud  small ; 
For  the  dear  God  who  loveth  us, 
He  made  and  loveth  all. 

Coleridge. 

On  first  commencing  this  memoir  of  my  life,  I  put  pen  to 
paper  with  the  laudable  view  of  landing  down  to  posterity 
— to  our  children,  and  to  our  children's  children — the  acci- 
dents, adventures,  and  mischances  that  may  fall  to  the  lot  of 
a  man,  placed  by  providence  even  in  the  loundest  situation 
of  life,  where  he  seemed  to  lie  sheltered  in  the  bield  of  peace 
and  privacy  ; — and,  at  that  time,  it  was  my  intention  to  have 
carried  down  my  various  transactions  to  this  'dividual  day 
and  date.  My  materials,  however,  have  swelled  on  my 
hand  like  summer  corn  under  sunny  showers  ;  one  thing  has 
brought  another  to  remembrance  ;  sowds  of  byepast  marvels 
have  come  before  my  mind's  eye  in  the  silent  watches  of  the 
night,  concerning  the  days  when  !  sat  working  cross-legged 
on  the  board  ;  and  if  I  do  not  stop  at  this  critical  juncture 
— to  wit,  my  retiring  from  trade,  and  the  settlement  of  my 
dear  and  only  son  Benjie  in  an  honourable  way  of  doing : 
as  who  dares  to  deny  that  the  barber  and  hair-cutting  line 
is  a  safe  and  honourable  employment  ? — I  do  not  know 
when  I  might  get  to  the  end  of  my  tether  ;  and  the  interest, 


-20  MFE   OF  MAKSIE   WAUCH. 

which  every  reasonable  man  must  take  in  the  extraordinary 
adventures  of  my  ealy  years,  might  be  grievously  marred 
and  broken  in  upon  through  the  garrulity  of  old  age. 

Perhaps  I  am  going  a  little  too  far  when  I  say,  that  the 
whole  world  cannot  fail  to  be  interested  in  the  occurrences 
of  my  life  ;  for,  since  its  creation,  which  was  not  yesterday, 
I  do  not  believe— and  James  Batter  is  exactly  of  the  same 
mind — that  there  ever  was  a  subject  concerning  which  the 
bulk  of  mankind  have  not  had  two  opinions.  Knowing 
this  to  be  the  case,  I  would  be  a  great  gomeril  to  expect 
that  I  should  be  the  only  white  swan  that  ever  appeared ; 
and  that  all  parties  in  church  and  state,  who  are  for  cutting 
each  others  throats  on  every  other  great  question,  should  be 
unanimous  only  in  what  regards  me.  Englishmen,  for  in- 
stance, will  say  that  I  am  a  bad  speller*  and  that  my  language 
is  kittle;  and  such  ot  the  Irishes  as  can  read  will  be  threap- 
ing that  I  have  abused  their  precious  country  ;  but,  my  cer- 
tie,  instead  of  '"laming  me  for  letting  out  what  I  could  not 
deny,  they  must  just  learn  to  behave  themselves  better  when 
they  come  to  see  us.  or  bide  at  home. 

Being  by  nature  a  Scotchman—  being  I  say  of  the  blood 
of  Robert  Bruce  and  Sir  William  Wallace, —  and  having  in 
my  day  and  generation  buckled  on  my  sword  to  keep  the 
battle  from  our  gates  in  the  hour  of  danger,  ill  would  it  be- 
come me  to  speak  but  the*  plain  truth,  the  whole  truth,  and 
any  thing  but  the  truth.  No,  although  bred  to  a  peaceable 
occupation,  (  am  the  subject  of  a  free  king  and  constitution  ; 
and,  if  i  have  written  as  i  speak,  I  have  just  spoken  as  I 
thought.  The  man  of  learning  that  kens  no  language 
saving  Greek,  and  Gaelic,  and  Hebrew, will  doubtless  laugh 
at  the  curiosity  of  my  dialect ;  but  I  would  just  recommend 
him,  as  he  is  a  philosopher,  to  consider  for  a  wee,  that  there 
are  other  things,  in  mortal  life  and  in  human  nature,  worth 
a  moment's  consideration,  besides  old  Pagan  Heathens — 
pot-hooks  and  hangers — the  asses'  bridge  and  the  weary 
walls  of  Troy  ;  which  last  city,  for  all  that  has  been  said 
and  sung  about  it,  would  be  found,  I  would  stake  my  life 
upon  it,  could  it  be  seen  at  this  moment,  not  worth  half  a 
thought,  when  compared  with  the  New  Town  of  Edinburgh. 
Of  all  towns  in  the  world,  however,  Dalkeith  for  my  money. 
If  the  ignorant  arcuumbfoundered  at  one  of  their  own  kid- 
iaey-- a  tailor  laddie,  that  got  the  feck  of  his  small  education 


CONCLUSION.  222 

leathered  into  him,  at  Dominie  Thresh'envs  school — think- 
ing himself  an  author,  I  would  just  remind  them  that  seeing 
is  believing ;  and  that  they  should  keep  up  a  good  heart,  as 
it  is  impossible  to  say  what  may  yet  be  their  own  fortune  be- 
fore they  die — The  rich  man's  apology  I  would  beg,  if,  in 
this  humble  narrative,  in  this  detail  of  manners  almost  hidden 
from  the  sphere  of  his  observation,  I  have  in  any  instance 
tramped  on  the  tender  toes  of  good  breeding,  or  given  just 
offence  in  breadth  of  expression  or  vulgarity  of  language. 
Let  this,  however,  be  my  apology,  that  the  only  value  of 
my  wonderful  history  consists  in  its  being  as  true  as  death 
— a  circumstance  which  it  could  have  slender  pretensions 
to  had  I  coined  stories,  or  coloured  them  to  please  my  own 
fancy  and  that  of  the  world.  In  that  case  it  would  have 
been  very  easy  for  me  to  have  made  a  Sin  bad  the  Sailor's 
tale  out  of  it — to  have  shown  myself  up  a  man,  such  as  the 
world  has  never  seen  except  on  paper — to  have  made  Curse- 
cowl  behave  like  a  gentleman,  and  the  Frenchman  from 
Pennicuick  crack  like  a  Christian.  And  to  the  poor  man, 
him  whom  the  wise  disposer  of  all  events  has  seen  fit  to 
place  in  a  situation  similar  to  that  iri  which  1  have  been 
placed,  ordaining  him  to  earn  daily  bread  by  the  labour  of 
his  hands  and  the  sweat  of  his  brow,  if  my  adventures  shall 
afford  an  hour  or  two's  pleasant  amusement,  when,  after 
working  hours,  he  sits  by  his  bleezing  ingle  with  a  bairn  on 
each  knee,  while  his  oldest  daughter  is  sewing  her  seam,  and 
his  good  wife  with  her  right,  foot  birls  round  the  spinning- 
wheel,  then  my  purpose  is  gained,  and  more  than  gained  -r 
for  it  is  my  firm  belief,  that  no  man,  who  has  by  head  or 
hand  in  any  way  lightened  an  ounce  weight  of  the  load  of 
human  misery,  can  be  truly  said  to  have-been  unprofitable 
in  his  day,  or  disappointed  the  purpose  of  his  creation.  For 
what  more  can  we  do  here  below  ?  The  God  who  formed 
us,  breathing  into  our  nostrils  the  breath  of  life,  is,  in  his 
almighty  power  and  wisdom,  lax  removed  beyond  the  sphere 
of  our  poor  and  paltry  offices.  We  are  of  the  clay,  and. 
return  to  the  elements  from  which  we  were  formed.  He  is 
a  spirit  without  beginning  of  days  or  end  of  years.  The  ex- 
tent of  our  limited  exertions  reaches  no  farther  than  our 
belief  in  and  our  duty  towards  Him  ;  which,  in  my  humble 
opinion,  can  be  best  shown  by  us  in  our  love  and  charity  to 
wards  our  fellow-creatures — the  master  work  of  his  hands. 


222  LIFE   OF  MANSIE   WATJCH. 

I  would  not  willingly  close  this  record  of  my  life,  without 
expressing  a  few  words  of  heartfelt  gratitude  towards  the 
multitude,  from  whom,  in  the  intercourse  of  the  world,  I  have 
experienced  good  offices  ;  and  towards  the  few,  who  in  the 
hour  of  my  trials  and  adversities,  remained  with  faces 
towards  me  steadfast  and  unalterable,  scorning  the  fickle  who 
scoffed,  and  the  Levite  who  passed  by  on  the  other  side. 
Of  old  hath  it  been  said,  that  a  true  friend  is  the  medicine  of 
life  ;  and  in  the  day  of  darkness  when  my  heart  was  break- 
ing, and  the  world  with  all  its  concerns  seemed  shaded  in  a 
gloom  never  to  pass  away,  how  deeply  have  I  acknowledged 
the  truth  of  the  maxim  !  How  shall  I  repay  such  kindness  ? 
Alas  !  it  is  out  of  my  power.  But  all  I  can  do,  I  do.  I 
think  of  it  on  my  pillow  at  the  silent  hour  of  midnight :  my 
heart  burns  with  the  gratitude  it  hath  not — may  never  have 
an  opportunity  of  showing  to  the  world  ;  and  I  put  up  my 
prayer  in  faith  to  Him  who  seeth  in  secret,  that  he  may  bless 
and  reward  them  openly. 

Sorrows  and  pleasures  are  inseparably  mixed  up  in  the 
cup  set  for  man's  drinking  ;  and  the  sunniest  day  hath  its 
cloud.  But  I  have  made  this  observation,  that,  if  true  hap- 
piness, or  any  thing  like  true  happiness,  is  to  be  found  in 
this  world,  it  is  only  to  be  purchased  by  the  practice  of  vir- 
tue. Things  will  fall  out — so  it  hath  been  ordained  in  this 
scene  of  trial — even  to  the  best  and  purest  of  heart,  which 
must  carry  sorrow  to  the  bosom,  and  bring  tears  to  the  eye- 
lids :  and  then,  to  the  wayward  and  the  wicked,  bitter  is  their 
misery  as  the  waters  of  Marah.  But  never  can  the  good 
man  be  wholly  unhappy  ;  he  has  that  within  which  passeth 
show  ;  the  anchor  of  his  faith  is  fixed  on  the  rock  of  ages  ; 
and  when  the  dark  cloud  hath  glided  over — and  it  will  glide 
— it  leaves  behind  it  the-  blue  and  unclouded  heaven. 

If,  concerning  religious  matters,  a  tone  of  levity  at  any 
time  seems  to  infect  these  pages,  I  cry  ye  mercy  ;  for  nothing 
was  farther  from  my  intention  ;  yet,  though  acknowledging 
this,  I' maintain  that  it  is  a  vain  thing  to  look  on  religion  as 
on  a  winter  night,  full  of  terror,  and  darkness,  and  storms. 
No  one,  it  strikes  me,  errs  more  widely  than  he  who  sup- 
poses that  man  was  made  to  mourn — that  the  sanctity  of  the 
heart  is  shown  by  the  length  of  the  face, — and  that  mirth,  the 
pleasant  mirth  of  innocent  hearts,  is  sinful  in  the  sight  of 
Heaven.     I'll  never  believe  that.     The  very  sun  may  appear 


CONCLUSION.  223 

dim  to  such  folks  as  choose  only  to  look  at  him  through  green 
spectacles ;  as  by  the  poor  wretch  who  is  dwining  in  the  jaun- 
dice, the  driven  snow  could  be  sworn  of  as  a  bright  yellow. 
Such  opinions,  however,  lie  between  the  man  and  his  Maker, 
and  are  not  for  the  like  of  us  to  judge  of.  For  myself  I 
have  enjoyed  a  pleasant  run  of  good  health  through  life, 
reading  my  Bible  more  in  hope  than  fear ;  our  salvation, 
and  not  our  destruction,  being  I  should  suppose  its  purpose. 
So,  when  I  behold  bright  suns  and  blue  skies,  the  trees  in 
frlossom,  and  birds  on  the  wing,  the  waters  singing  to  the 
woods,  and  Earth  looking  like  the  abode  of  them  who  were 
at  first  formed  but  a  little  lower  than  the  angels,  I  trust  that 
the  overflowing  of  a  grateful  heart  will  not  be  reckoned 
against  me  for  unrighteousness. 


THE    END, 


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